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11 July 2012 2: Halle Berry vs Linda Kozlowski

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 6 months ago

Halle Berry 02.jpgLinda Kozlowski 02.jpg

 

 

Posted by Archer on July 11, 2012, 12:58 pm

 

Ca. 2004

Story by Jac Fac

Halle Berry was torn up after being beaten by Linda Kozlowski and she told anyone and everyone who'd listen to her that Linda had won "...only because she got in a lucky punch." The big right hand that caught her flush on the jaw allowed Linda to finish her off with a bruising knockout that left both Halle - and her huge ego - in tatters! Some other celebrities were taunting Halle, teasing her about how she, an X'er, got whipped by a blond yuppie.

Then one night Halle was out on the town and ran into Linda at a posh LA watering hole. Linda was with friends while Halle was solo. Linda had a drink sent over to Halle's table. Halle sent it back with a nasty note telling Linda she'd been smart to retire from boxing since Halle would clean her clock 'next time.'

Linda read the note, then got up and came over to confront Halle, "Listen you Gen-X slouch; if you'd won you'd be content and NEVER grant me a rematch! I'm good to go and hope you are too!"

Paul didn't want this but Linda was adamant and she expected to fight Halle again. She disliked the black woman intensely and the feeling was mutual. The following week they were back in the ring attired as before; Halle in her 'Die another Day ' bikini and Linda in her drop-dead 'Crocodile Dundee' thong. Halle had trained hard for this fight and she knew she could outwork Linda using her speed but she was very wary of Linda's power.

ROUND ONE The first round went much like the first fight; Halle's feints were working and Linda was getting tagged every which way with lightening fast combinations. Linda's face was already swollen some after the first round which Halle won.

ROUND TWO Halle is taunting Linda to beat the band while punishing her with wicked body shots. Linda isn't sharp at all in the first minute but she lands some good body shots of her own which make Halle back off. Then, just before the round ends, Halle delivers a solid left uppercut to Linda's jaw which makes the blonde's solid legs buckle. As Linda staggers, Halle is on her with another big shot to the head...AND DOWN GOES LINDA!! She manages to stagger to her feet just as the bell rings, but Linda has absorbed tons of blows from the highly motivated Halle.

ROUND THREE The crowd is really into it as Halle is using her fantastic footwork to feint Linda very badly and then jackhammer her with great body shots, then she follows up with head shots that are hurting the bigger blonde a great deal. Linda is growing desperate and looking for that 'big hit' which saved her in the last fight...but it isn't there this night! Halle is enjoying the continual barrage she's showering on Linda and is smiling broadly as she connects over and over. Linda's legs are really wobbly and Halle has her gal ready to go as she unleashes a stream of left right combos that BATTERS LINDA TO HER KNEES! Her face is a mass of welts and bruises and her eyes are all but closed. As Linda pulls herself up the ropes, Halle steps up and hits her with a major roundhouse right to the jaw. Linda's head snaps sideways as sweat flies from this hit. Her legs are flaccid but she utters a swear at Halle as to how lucky she is this night. Halle is her executioner though and once more whips a left hook to Linda's exposed jaw SENDS LINDA SPRAWLING FACE DOWN on the canvas for the third, and last, time.

On this night, the yuppie is soundly beaten as Halle has more than evened the score. Halle stands over the battered, beaten blonde with her foot posed on Linda's firm butt cheek, her arms raised and a big grin on her nearly untouched face while the theme music from 'Die another Day' plays.

There will almost surely be a rubber match to square this rivalry but that will be sometime in the future. Tonight, a disconsolate Paul Hogan steps into the ring, picks up his wife's senseless body and carries her out of the ring. As he passes her, Halle hisses, "Next time she gets in the ring with me, I'm taking her home with ME! Tell her that when she wakes up!"

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