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11 July 2012 Lola Falana vs Farah Fawcett

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 6 months ago

 

Farah Fawcett.jpg

 

 

RETRO BOUT 1977

 

Posted by Jac Fac on July 11, 2012, 1:29 pm

 

It's 1977 and Lola Falana is a major attraction on the Vegas strip. It’s a big Christmas party at the Sands and among the attendees are the girls of ‘Charlie's Angels’, prominent among them Farrah Fawcett who’s working the room and enjoying being fawned over by just about everyone. Lola hasn't had the 'pleasure' of meeting the toothy star of the series but finally the two do meet - when Farrah, whose a bit tipsy, bumps into Lola causing the Cuban-Afro-American to spill her drink down her cleavage. Her nipples instantly harden in response to the icy stimulation, a fact not missed by the ‘nipplicious’ Ms. Fawcett who is famously well-endowed herself in that regard!

"Sorry about that sis," mumbles Farrah, sounding anything BUT apologetic. “You really oughta be more careful." Then, finally recognizing Lola, she adds, “Hey, I caught your show last night - not TOO bad."

Lola isn't sure if this is a set-up, but all doubt is dispelled an instant later when Jaclyn Smith slams into her from behind, knocking forward into Farrah’s arms.

While Lola struggles to disengage herself from Farrah’s clutches without spilling the rest of her drink on herself, she hears, "You ARE clumsy aren't you?" from Jaclyn. The two Texans start attempting to have fun at Lola's expense, chatting animatedly back and forth as if she weren’t there, denigrating her show, but particularly her inability to hold her liquor.

"It'll be great when you two jerks - and your bony-ass sidekick - leave town!" snarled Lola. "Texas blowhards have never been my cup of tea anyway!"

With that comment, Farrah gives Lola a shove, slamming her back up against the buffet table resulting in a food spill that stains the entire seat of Lola's lovely (and expensive) gown.

"Hey how's about you and me duking it out in the celebrity charity bash," challenges Farrah as Lola blushes and tries to wipe off her dress. "I ain't a little slave girl like your girl toy Joey Heatherton - as you'll find out if you ain’t afraid to face me," laughs Farrah.

"OK, you got it girl,” Lola instantly replies. “Oh, and do me one more favor if you want to keep breathing; don't EVER call me SIS again!" Lola's eyes are riveted on Farrah who can feel a distinct chill.
***
The next night finds the contestants ready to rumble at Caesar's Palace with a full house in attendance. Farrah strips off her ‘Charlie’s Angel's’ robe to reveal a revealing red bikini that draws lots of “oohh” and “aahh” from the audience. But Lola isn't outdone though and her purple robe is tenderly and lovingly slipped off her shoulders by the lovely blond Joey Heatherton, who fills many roles in Lola's world including being her corner girl/slave/lover, etc. Lola slowly parades the ring, showing off a stunning body in a tiny white thong and her long, tawny legs bowl over the guys in the crowd. Typically Vegas, Caesers has signed Jill St. John to be the referee for this celebrity set-to.

Round One- Lola's legs are in superb shape, allowing her to dart mischievously away from Farrah as she lunges with combinations that miss entirely. "Hey you can't act and you can't fight either!" teases Lola, stopping and planting her feet, then drilling a right cross hard to Fawcett's jaw. Farrah's blonde mane flings sweat as her head swivels and her knees buckle from the force of the punch. But Fawcett retaliates with a good right to Lola's body which backs the dancer up. Then our 'Angel' mounts an assault with a left-right combo to Lola's face. This time, it's the dusky vixen whose head snaps around. Farrah has her rhythm as she continues to connect solidly to Lola’s body and head as she soundly beats Lola in round one.

Round Two- Farrah resumes her bruising attack on the dancer with a solid minute of great body work. Her plan is to force Lola's arms down to protect her gorgeous body so she can knock her out with a good head shot. By the second minute, however, Lola has caught on though and resumes dancing, slipping most punches to slam Farrah hard with a left-right combination that unhinges Fawcett’s legs! Farrah's ass hits the canvas hard and she rolls onto her back, her legs shooting upward. "Gotcha that time weasel!" chortles Lola. Fawcett staggers upright, only to be hammered by Lola's famous left hook directly to the belly. Lola is taking charge now as she jackhammers the wheezing Texan with vicious jabs until Farrah's eyes start swelling. Then a Lola right cross drops Farrah to the canvas once again just as the bell sounds. Farrah is slow regaining her feet after this and she lost the round big time.

Round Three- Lola smells blood just as she did when she destroyed Joey Heatherton a decade before on the USS Forrestal before a crowd of sailors and marines. Falana's gloves are like heat seeking missiles which continually make contact with Farrah’s now swollen face.

"Had enough blowhard?" taunts Lola.

"Up yours!" is Farrah's defiant reply.

Farrah's corner knows she is a beaten fighter as Lola is prancing after her prey, delivering more and more big hits. The crowd, at first firmly in Farrah’s corner, is now almost unanimously supporting Lola as she shows her dominance.

"Whatever Lola wants Lola gets," announces Lola to the stricken gal from Corpus Christi as she digs into Farrah’s lush body with a combination, then watches the blonde topple over. Lola throws her hands in the air as she prepares to take her victory lap around the ring.

"Not so fast," mumbles Fawcett through swollen lips as she, once again, commands her legs to support her.

As Farrah rises she is hit with that signature Lola Left Hook and it spins her wildly on rubbery legs. Farrah goes a full 180 and though glazed eyes she sees her tormenter chuckling as her legs buckle. Farrah’s famous breasts bounce wildly when her knees hit the canvas, then she sways slowly back and forth in front of Lola for a moment before she pitches forward and crashes face down; her toussled mane of disheveled blonde hair fanned out between Lola’s spread feet.

Postfight- Falana has won another fight and now Lola steps on the prostrate Texan’s firm ass as she walks to Farrah's corner where she spots a ten gallon hat and a rope.

"Planning to tie me up with that rope, wasn't she?” Lola chuckles to a stricken Jaclyn Smith.

"Maybe I’ll use it instead!" growls Smith. Bad move! Lola slams Jaclyn with that left hook and watches the brunette crumple to the canvas beside her Angel's castmate.

Postfight: Lola doffs the ten gallon and ties both actresses ankles with the rope, then pulls it over her shoulder and grunts as she strains to drags them together around the ring. Finally, Lola ties the two to the side ropes with their bare butts exposed. Lola inscribes the words 'Lone Star' over their cheeks as the camera bulbs explode. Falana has 'had her way' this night and the sell-out crowd has enjoyed the whole show from this unbeatable headliner.

Footnote- In the crowd observing all this was Britt Eklund, the European champion. She vows to her trainer, former world champion Anita Ekberg, that she will beat Lola but Ekberg isn't so sure.

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