If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

11 July 2012 Anne Hathaway vs Kate Hudson

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 9 months ago

Anne Hathaway.jpg Kate Hudson 02.jpg

RETRO 2009

Posted by Jac Fac on July 11, 2012, 1:44 pm

Non-FCBA Story by Jac Fac

While the main principals are Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson, this whole 'bride wars' business actually began when Hudson's mom Goldie Hawn excoriated Anne Hathaway about her acting - and also claiming daughter Kate needed to show some of her mom's old time 'spunk' by kicking upstart Hathaway's ass "...to the curb." This happened at Spago's where Goldie was dining with Tippi Hedren and Melanie Griffith another famous Hollywood mother/daughter duo who had suffered mightily at the hands of 'The Woman in Red' Kelly LeBrock. LeBrock had twice faced Melanie in the ring and twice had knocked her cold! The first fight had been competitive, but the second had been a slaughter with Melanie hammered senseless bent back over the ropes while Kelly just looked on and smirked.

Hedren/Griffith were doing their best to boost Goldie's morale as she feared her daughter was being bested by Hathaway in too many ways in the acting business. Unbeknownst to the women at the time, Anne had already learned of Goldie's anger and her desire for Kate to fight her and had signed on Kelly LeBrock as her trainer. Anne wanted to master the 'LeBrock Sock' punch which had destroyed Melanie Griffith and Kelly was more than happy to oblige.

Kelly developed a fondness for the young actress and felt that Anne, with her height, would be respectibly competitive as a celebrity boxer. Goldie sent an e-mail to Anne, inviting her to the 'Revenge/Resentment' Ranch, saying that "my Kate is looking to boxing you in a 'charity' event."

When Anne showed the message to LeBrock, she just laughed and said, "Time to get down to business."

For the next month, Kelly worked Anne hard in the ring, sparring with her. Kelly was still cooking on (at least) three burners at the age 49 and more than once Anne had been floored by Kelly's long, unforgiving, right hand. "You're careless," Kelly told her. "That's why that keeps happening." Kelly who was a tad unhappy with Anne's sloppy approach to 'the sweet science'.

Goldie enlisted the help of Diane Lane, a woman who'd beaten Kelly in a bout sometime back. Lane drove Kate hard in the ring and clobbered her viciously with combinations when they sparred; something that sobered up the sexy blonde fast. Lane also mocked Kate, trying to build her anger toward Hathaway.

"She's bragging she can beat your ass, you know," warned Diane.

The motivation was working and revving Kate up. She was ready to 'tangle ass' with Hathaway by the time fight night rolled around and the Ranch was jammed once more with lots of starlets, their husbands/lovers, etc. Krista Allen was the ring announcer and Elke Sommer reprised her role as the referee.

Kate climbs into the ring first in a wipe out sexy red bikini that shows both ass cheeks. Anne is wearing a stunning blue bikini which showcases her long, killer legs. Anne is several inches taller than Kate and she stares down at the sweating Kate Hudson while Elke gives last minute instructions.

"Let's get ready to rumble ladies," Krista roars as she hammers the bell for round one.

Round One - Kate comes out smoking, pumping a solid jab to Hathaway's face. "C'mon!" yells Goldie to her daughter. "Show her whose boss out there!"

Hudson lands several good body shots before Hathaway hits her with the first of the famous 'LeBrock Socks', the punch homing squarely to Hudson's jaw. Kate flies backward into the ropes and hangs with her arms over the top rope, dazed. Elke moves in for a standing 'eight' while Anne is dancing and prancing on her long legs and sizing up this 'little piece of meat' as she had referred to her pre-match. Once Elke steps aside, Anne launches a long left hook that connects with Hudson's right eye, snapping Kate's head back again.

"Measure your punches sweetie," advises LeBrock, jumping up and down in Anne's corner. "Let her feel your might before you finish her."

Anne leers at Hudson who is looking confused and somewhat frazzled, chortling, "I'm going to let you stand around awhile longer there, snooky!" When the bell rings, it's clear Hathaway has won the first round.

Between rounds Goldie is infuriated. "I've spent a bundle on you and this is the best you can do?!" she screams.

"Back off, Moms," growls Lane, who is doing what she can to coach Hudson and get her confidence back so she can answer that abysmal round. "Get inside her arms and stay there," she tells Hudson.

Round Two - Hudson bores in and fires a series of roundhouse left-right body shots which hurt Anne.

"So you want to fight do you?" smiles Hathaway.

Hudson slams Anne's head back with a brutal right cross and the crowd roars their approval. "C'mon Kate, show us what you got!" yells Tippi Hedren and Kate rams Anne again, this time with a blistering combination that staggers the taller, younger actress. Hudson has roared back to life! The sweat is flying off both gals as Kate Hudson is gaining momentum. She connects with a flurry of body blows, then slugs Hathaway with a furious overhand right! Anne Hathaway FALLS to the canvas and the place erupts in pandemonium. She slowly gets up at 'six', hurt but far from done.

The bell rings with the entire crowd on it's feet. This is a freakin’ fistfight fight!

Between Rounds - Kelly is giving Ann a pep talk and rubbing her down and sponging her off. "Slip those punches and measure her damn it!" she chides Anne who nods silently as if in understanding.

Round Three - They touch gloves for the decisive final round, both gals eyes swollen badly. Sommer waves them in. Both are at midring, determined to see just who 'has the juice.' Hathaway nails Hudson with that mighty 'LeBrock Sock' once again, and Hudson's body is propelled clear across the ring before she tumbles onto her ass and her legs fly up in the air. Hathaway has floored her solidly and is looking to finish her! Up at 'NINE' Kate's arms are tiring while Anne still has 'steam' in her punches. Kate stumbles backward, nearly falling again, the crowd senses the different direction this fight is taking as Anne unloads blow after blow to Kate's swollen face. Kate is fading quickly and at ringside, Goldie Hawn is crying and screaming for a comeback by her baby. But Anne has Goldie's progeny lined up for the kill! Anne knocks Kate out with a final 'LeBrock special' and this mother of a young boy is hammered for the last time to the canvas. Kate hits the ropes and is stumbling forward on rubbery legs when Sommer wraps her arms around Anne Hathaway and whirls her around, then shoves her toward her corner. Anne glances over her shoulder and smiles, raising her gloves as Kate Hudson topples onto her face on the canvas.

Goldie Hawn is inconsolable as are Tippi Hedren and Melanie 'Melony' Griffith while Kelly LeBrock climbs into the ring beaming with pride to hug her young protégé; lifting Anne off her feet. She has beaten the trio and they all despise both LeBrock and Hathaway, but it’s clear to everyone who took whose measure tonight.

Anne gets the pleasure of stripping Kate Hudson's bikini and waves it overhead. "Sweet little red number. I really like it!" she chirps as she rudely kicks Kate's nude body out of the ring under the bottom rope, then struts off arm-in-arm with Kelly for her victory party. Anne's hand grab Kelly's voluptuous ass as she tells her, "Hot old lady, you really made it happen for me tonight."

"You think that was something, darling?" leers Kelly. “Wait’ll you see what I make happen later!"

They kiss and walk away, ready to get the party started.