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21 August 2012 Salma Hayek vs Jennifer Love Hewitt

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 7 months ago

Jennifer Love Hewitt 13.jpg

Boxing on the Beach

(Results by Simguy)

Posted by Jeri's Knockouts on August 21, 2012, 11:51 pm

Before: Playa Del Carmen, Mexico – overlooking a picturesque oceanfront stretch of land now colloquially known as Jeri’s Beach, the new landlady offers her thoughts on the battle brewing at her front porch: “In my mind, Hewitt vs. Hayek is one of the best small-girl rivalries the FCBA has ever seen,” Ryan explains, “They’re both exceptionally talented at getting into their opponents’ trunks and breaking the other girl down. They’re both very crowdpleasing when they work, and either can pack a house on their name alone. Best of all, these two absolutely HATE each other and will pull out all the stops to subjugate the other. Who could ask for anything more than that?” Salma largely absent from the fighting scene in recent years, but the thought of Jennifer romping around in her old turf is an inexcusable insult – it takes very little coaxing for Jeri & Co. to get Hayek to sign a contract for a showdown at the beach. Salma in black satin bra-style bikini top; leopard print bikini bottoms; black gloves. Jennifer bringing back her lucky white string bikini for the occasion (and even going so far as to get it contractually stipulated as her attire, much to Salma’s displeasure); black gloves. Ring posts set up directly on sand for this catchweight bout.

During R1: Jen quick out of her corner, crosses the ring swiftly and DIVES into Salma’s rack! Furious two-fisted romping from Hewitt as she hooks Hayek’s jugs from the outside, pounding them with heavy-handed wallop. Salma refuses to be bullied, stands her ground as she gives as good as she gets: Hayek’s breasts take a terrible drubbing, but in return for rack she’s cashing in with left hooks to face and short right hands to chin. Jennifer sputtering, her face getting spanked by unexpectedly hard connects… she stumbles forward into a POUNDING left hook to the liver! Hewitt pitching forward with a loud “GUH-H!” as her face twists in pain – Salma fetches her with an extra straight right to the chin as Jen jackknifes face and chest first into the sand! Creaky 8 for Jennifer, breathing hard as she tries to find the wind that just got knocked out of her, patches of sand sticking to her face and torso… ON COMES SALMA! Plenty of time left on the clock – Hayek’s eyes light up at the prospect of winning by KO1 over her archnemesis. She marches in hungrily and stacks Hewitt up against the ropes and goes to work pounding flank and tummy with left and right hooks… LOVE WON’T PUNK! Hewitt grimacing, trying to protect her midsection with her elbows, but fighting back gamely with hooks of her own to abdomen and jug. She’s throwing an uppercut into the mix, regularly fitting it in to Hayek’s chin, buzzing Salma as her head is snapped back almost in tempo. Persistence pays off as Salma’s thighs start to tremble with each shot to the head – she’s eventually forced to take her first steps backwards in retreat. Jen pawing with her left jab then leans into a BOOMING right to the chin as Hayek backpedals… SALMA’S HURT! Hayek clatters as she falls against the ropes on the adjacent ring side and JEN GOES JUG! Hewitt’s all over her, slamming half-hook half-uppercut punches into Salma’s bra cups with raging ferocity going into the final minute… Hayek ramshackle on the ropes, gloves at her waist, sobbing as her rack suffers the worst assault it’s taken in years. Jugs and chin, JUGS AND CHIN! It’s all Hewitt now as she takes everything she can sink her greedy mitts into – Salma’s out on her feet, almost completely unraveled, ready to go as she stares into punches. The bell finally sounds to save her and end a CRAZY first: huge comeback by Hewitt converts an important 10-8 for Hayek into a more pedestrian 10-9.

Between rounds: Hewitt’s standing in her corner leaning back against the turnbuckle with arms rested over the top ropes. A specialized second – one of the local girls trained and employed specifically for sand bouts – is brushing Jen’s face, shoulders, and upper chest with a hand towel and wiping her free of sand above the knee per beach rules. Jen’s calm, unmoving as the girl hurriedly does her work, glaring sternly across the ring: Hayek’s on her stool in her own corner, struggling to recover as her cornermen feverishly try to revive her in time for the next stanza.

R2: JEN GOES JUG! Hewitt dives right back in with her trademarked Hayek-busting strategy, ROMPING to jug and cramming both fists into Mexican breasts with unabated vigor. Salma misty-eyed as her rack again comes under attack – she’s forced backwards in the face of so much suppressive fire, but trading back in spots and going to the body with her tried and true left hook. Steady accumulation culminates at halfway point when Hayek buries the punch into Hewitt’s liver – another loud cry escapes Jen’s lips as she crumples forward and falls in against Salma for support. She’s pushed back muscularly to the ropes where Hayek rampages to flank and tummy with both hands – Jennifer manages the odd clinch here and there but for the most part can’t do much more than sit butt in ropes and take the abuse. Salma taking a page out of Minka Kelly’s playbook to get her revenge on Hewitt’s jugs in the closing moments: left hand palming Jenny’s shoulder to keep her upright while right smites rack again and again. Jennifer sullen, blinking back tears of her own as Salma cleans up to bell.

R3: Bitter close quarters slugging throughout – Jen and Salma both neglect head and instead choose to work each other’s midsections like heavy bags. Hayek and Hewitt are forehead to forehead, their gasps and whines audible in each other’s ears on impact of leather to flank, tummy and jug. Parching and sweaty work under the hot Mexican sun, but neither gets too reckless – both are fully aware that they’re fighting a battle of attrition. Jennifer’s just a tad bit busier, a little sturdier, slightly more heavy-handed as she spends more time backing Salma up across the sand than the other way around.

R4: More infighting: short, choppy blows and compact uppercuts are the order of the day. Ladies start to roughhouse each other as they seek out any advantage they can get: Jennifer is bumping and pushing Salma with her shoulder repeatedly while Salma pulls on Jennifer’s head and sneaks in a forearm to rack whenever she can get away with it. Late in the round: Jenny taking Salma’s flanks in twos, salting away with a quick left hook followed by a heavier right in tempo when Hayek rings her up with a HARD left hook of her own to the jaw! Hewitt clatters sideways across the sand and hits the ropes shoulder-first, leaning onto them for support… ON COMES SALMA! Jennifer blurting out in pain, eyes pinched shut as Hayek’s fists find her exposed flank, tummy and kidney – she’s crippled and helpless as Salma’s left starts to bash the side of her head. Bell: Salma smiling as she chests up, savoring the woozy look in Jennifer’s drowsy eyes.

R5: Jen slow off her stool, showing earmuff at the strands as she waves Salma in. Hard minutes for Love fans to watch – she’s still feeling the last round’s effects and gets smeared all along the ropes by an invigorated Hayek. Salma throwing left and right hooks at a stupendously high rate, trying to get them in behind or below Hewitt’s elbows; left jab/right cross combos repeatedly finding their way through Hewitt’s defenses to spank at face or jug; Jennifer’s forced to cover up and ride it out the best she can as Hayek huffs, puffs, and tries to blow her house down. Repeated clinches from Jen as she does anything she can to bog Salma down – Hayek pushing back in return and stacking Hewitt upright so that she can cram away with reprisal punches to rack. Bell to bell shutout for Hayek: she’s breathing hard from exertion at round’s end, but a strong performance thus far serves as a potent reminder of her dominance during her glory days.

R6: Salma showing a stubby left jab as she tries to keep up the pressure on Jennifer, but she’s not connecting: the snap is starting to go and Hewitt reads it well, moving head and upper body to avoid harm. Jen times her patiently then turns her hips into a BOOMING right hand that clubs Salma on her mouth! HAYEK GOES DOWN! She’s dropped to her back in a heartbeat, gloves at her chest and eyes pinched shut – smile returns to Jennifer’s lips for the first time in many long minutes as she saunters to the neutral corner. Salma propping herself up on her forearms, then pushing herself to her feet at 8, looking disheveled as sand clings to her sweaty back… she’s immediately stacked up against the ropes as fight resumes. Hewitt working at an unhurried, methodical pace as she applies punishment to midsection with short, compact, meaty punches. Salma trapped butt in ropes all throughout, grimacing and aching as her torso gets ransacked, but she’s resisting Hewitt at every turn and lands several clipping connects to Jen’s chin… it’s enough to keep the younger brunette from overrunning her completely and ensures her survival to the bell.

Between rounds: now it’s Salma’s turn to stand for the sand girl. Hayek on her feet facing the turnbuckle in her corner, arms outstretched and grasping the top rope, head hanging down as she takes calm, deep breaths. The girl works feverishly to clean Salma of sand, working her way down from shoulders to triceps to back to buns then finally to back of thighs.

R7: Fight spills along the ropes as Jennifer and Salma fight each other mouth-on-shoulder – nothing cute at all this round as ladies invest in rival ribs and tummy with short, thudding blows. Hewitt and Hayek constantly tug and wrestle with each other, both trying to stack the other up against the ropes as they reverse positions again and again throughout the three minutes. More often than not it’s Jen pinning Salma to the strands, wearing her down – Hayek looking a bit frazzled at the bell as she struggles to maintain the pace of the earlier rounds.

R8: Jennifer a bit more brazen now, sensing that the fight has turned – she’s leading with the straight right, finding Salma’s chin with the blows then following up with a left hook to opposite jaw or to jug. Hayek getting backed up as her face is spanked by hard punches, but she’s soon firming up and punching back in exchange. Midway through Jen throws another right-hand lead – Salma sees it and beats her to it with a left hook to the chin and THERE GO HEWITT’S LEGS! Jennifer’s head is swiveled by a MASSIVE blow to the jaw… she stumbles forward and clinches with Salma, hanging on for dear life! Hayek pushes Hewitt back to the ropes and goes after her with well-practiced body assault – Jen’s ashen-faced, unable to do anything but try to tie Salma up and eat up the clock. Bell: Salma breathing hard and may have punched herself out, but she’s smiling nonetheless – for her there’s nothing better in this world than punishing Jennifer Love Hewitt for her insolence.

R9: Salma visibly drained, mouthbreathing now, but still trying to aggress and prevent Hewitt from taking the initiative away completely. Hayek betting it all on Hewitt’s torso, throwing strapping left and right hooks to Jen’s flanks and belly. Hewitt countering well, taking the body blows in order to exchange punches to Salma’s head. Hayek repeatedly getting rung up by a hard hook to jaw or side of the head, or an uppercut to chin or jug – Jennifer’s connects are more telling and much more effective at this point, staggering Salma repeatedly even though she’s still keeping her feet. Overall Hewitt’s the fresher beauty, having her way and putting miles on opposing body that Hayek can no longer afford to spend.

R10: Jen up off her stool eagerly, marching across the ring to impose her will once and for all on Salma, who’s digging in for a fight in her own corner. Hayek badly fatigued now, calling up the absolute last of her reserves in order to stave Hewitt off – she’s throwing it all into one last brutal slog with her hated adversary. Remarkable defiance from Salma as she holds her own – Hewitt often open-mouthed, cringing as Hayek’s fists thud into her abdomen and jugs. Jennifer lands plenty of her own shots in return, tapping with a left jab then dialing in with the right cross or uppercut to chin, following up when able with a left hook to jaw or breast. The Siege of Salma finally breaks two minutes in: Jennifer leans into a spectacular right to the jaw that snaps Hayek’s head sideways with a spray of sweat! Salma’s out on her feet, reclining against the turnbuckle after the shot, gloves dropping to waist-high – Jen goes all in with one punch after another to Salma’s face and chin, really pouring it on now. Hayek loosening as her head is swiveling with each blow, but she’s still standing – Hewitt can’t put her away. Dying moments: Jenny realizes that the KO won’t come and puts her last efforts into subjugating Salma’s breasts, humbling the hulking rack with a brawny jug-mugging to the bell. Fight goes to the cards – comes back a narrow 1 point UD10 Jennifer Love Hewitt.

After: Surprisingly close fight at five rounds and one knockdown apiece – the point recovered by Hewitt in the first is the difference between victory and overtime. Jennifer showing great scrappiness under adversity, both in coming off the deck to contest the first round and in overcoming the wide margin to win, but let’s give Salma some credit too: a first half romp is likely the last thing anyone expected going in to this bout.

Salma numb and totally exhausted on her stool as the decision is announced: the hollow look in her eyes tells the whole story about how she came so close yet still fell short. Jen conversely bounding over from her corner in a chipper mood, as if reinvigorated by the outcome… she takes a firm grasp on Salma’s hair and tugs her to her feet, leading her over to the JKO corner.

Stacking Hayek against the turnbuckle, Jennifer takes a moment to press up against her and grind her chest against Salma’s, relishing the moment… she then palms Salma’s shoulders, takes a step back and lifts her thigh, driving it straight into the Mexican’s midriff. Salma gurgling as she’s bent forward, her face brought down to Hewitt’s chest level; Jen eagerly encircles both arms around her head and neck and secures a tight breast smother. Hayek writhing as she’s jammed back awkwardly against the turnbuckle, pressing feebly against Hewitt’s ribs with her palms – even the worst heat here on the beach can’t compare to the sweltering confines of being trapped by Jennifer’s hulking rack. Jenny smiling, patiently letting her jugs do the work of putting Salma under… she’s periodically cinching her grip tighter but otherwise content and unhurried as Hayek guzzles more and more jug.

Salma’s legs start to tremble and buckle as she flirts on the edge of unconsciousness. Jennifer purrs and backpedals, walking Hayek out of the corner and over to midring – Salma stumbles along after her but it doesn’t take long for her to finally succumb and sink to her knees in the sand. Releasing the front sleeper, Jennifer tugs back on Salma’s hair, pulling her face up to look skyward… Hewitt adjusts and bends over, draping her tits over Hayek’s face and reapplying the smother from a standing position. Salma no longer resisting as she’s simply taken too much jug – arms are at her sides as she hangs limply in Jennifer’s grasp.

Hewitt’s finally satisfied after another minute, releases Hayek with great flourish as Salma falls to her back with jugs sloshing on impact. Jennifer’s bare and sand-covered foot comes down and presses on Salma’s chest – she’s grinning, smiling in triumph as she uses up every last drop of her great rival.