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8 September 2012 Devon Aoki vs Neve Campbell

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 7 months ago

Devon Aoki.jpg Neve Campbell 03.jpg

Posted by Jac Fac on September 8, 2012, 5:02 pm

Ca. 2005

Devon ‘The Tong’ Aoki vs. Neve “Night Train’ Campbell by Jack Fac

Devon has been matched against Neve in a celebrity boxing match promoted by “XYZ”. The setting is the MGM Grand in Vegas, NV for the weekend of the De La Hoya-Mayweather fight so lots of celebs are on hand. There’s been plenty of betting going on and restaurateur Rocky Aoki has been generous in providing tons of grub - particularly to his daughter's well-wishers.

Neve Campbell comes to the ring first accompanied by her corner gal, Morgan Webb, a fellow Canadian and her trainer. They are confident Neve will take down the little upstart so they can get into some serious partying to celebrate Paris Hilton's upcoming jailing.

Devon has her ‘best girl friend’ Ann Curry in her corner as her coach/trainer. The celebrity referee is the ubiquitous Elke Sommer.

Round One: Devon out moving quickly side to side, offering little or nothing for Neve to hit. Campbell, who had appeared nervous during the introductions and the respective anthems, looks like her notoriously shaky confidence is slipping already as Devon hammers the tall Canadian’s vulnerable mid-section. Neve is shocked by the power in Devon’s thundering fists. Neve fires a wicked overhand right which the smaller American slips, then she clobbers Neve with a volley of head shots that land solidly and accurately. The smaller ‘Tong’ is getting it done with both hands tonight!

Devon's hard right to Neve's jaw buckles the lanky Canuck’s long legs, forcing Neve to play defense as Devon finishes the round with a flurry of telling hits. As they go to their corners, Neve's left eye is already starting to swell closed.

Between rounds: Morgan Webb is enraged and exasperated by Neve's poor showing, telling her, “'You don't start hitting her, I'm flipping in the damned towel!”

Round Two: The smaller 'Tong' opens with another flurry of punches, then begins taunting the taller Campbell. “Big tough ‘Night Train',” laughs Devon. Suddenly, Devon gets floored by a long, sweeping, Campbell right cross. She's hit hard and her ass bounces on the canvas and Devon's long legs fly up high as she rolls onto her back!

Devon is glassy-eyed as Sommer counts to 8 before Campbell closes in to finish off the pesky little Aoki. Devon feints Campbell with a left hook and then hammers the Canadian with a hard right! She’s staggered by the punch and goes stumbling on rubbery legs headfirst into the ropes. Devon has the fighter's killer instinct and the MGM crowd is on their feet as Neve leans back on the ropes with her eyes showing fear.

“Duh…don't hit me again Devon…puh…please. You win…you win…Unnnhh…uhhhhh…” is all Campbell says before Devon's wicked body shots crush the 'Night Train's' belly.

Neve is doubled over in pain just before Devon Aoki knocks her out with a blistering uppercut. Neve’s legs collapse under her, she drops to her knees and then topples over facedown on the canvas.

Elke Sommer counts her out as pandemonium breaks out at ringside. Ann Curry scrambles into the ring, wraps her arms around her protégé and lifts Devon off her feet.

“Thanks Ann,” pants Devon as she grabs the Today show hostess by the hair and kisses her with a deep, long, tongue kiss.

Ann helps Devon strip Neve’s unconscious body and bind her wrists behind her before they slap her awake. Then they drag both Neve and her weeping second Morgan back to their dressing room for a post-fight party.