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2 October 2012 Andrea McLean vs Jessica Schwarz

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 6 months ago

Andrea McLean 02.jpg

Posted by Knowlesey on October 2, 2012, 12:43 pm

Well, Andrea wanted to fight Jessica, and now she has her chance, the showdown taking place in Brighton, England, before a packed auditorium.

Andrea takes to the ring first, a good looking 42 year old, dressed tonight in a red one piece outfit, confident of victory as she waits for the German actress.

Here comes Jessica, looking great in her orange bikini, and she’s accompanied by Christine Bleakley and Kate Garraway who carry the body saddle which Andrea suggested should be brought.

Round 1

Andrea’s looking perky, and she snaps a couple of jabs off at Jessica’s face, the German nodding back at her, and grinning, but then she gives Andrea a hard left hand to the belly, follows it with a right to the mouth, and Andrea’s hurt already! The TV presenter staggers backwards, and Jessica gets into her, landing some telling blows to the older girl’s body, Andrea trying to protect herself, backed up to the ropes, the punches thudding into her ribcage, and her arms gradually drop in reflex, for which she gets punished, with Jessica smacking three good right handers into her face, then a left, and another right, Andrea slumping forwards into the German’s arms, and, when the referee pulls her away it is clear to all the fightfans that Jessica’s heavy artillery has done it’s damage, with Andrea’s nose split across the bridge. There’s just enough time left in the round for Jessica to make Andrea squeal with a good left hook to the liver, and the bell brings about a pause.

Round 2

Jessica’s straight into her stride, giving Andrea a battering to the ribs, the older girl offering very little in the way of offense now, and she’s hurt again by Jessica’s left hook, such an accurate weapon! Jessica drills her left jab between Andrea’s gloves, the punch reopening that split nose, and the following right hook sends the TV presenter to the canvas, face down, the girl pushing herself up to her knees, then slowly to her feet at 8. Jessica may well finish this fight off right now! She bangs another left hook into Andrea’s liver, then a similar punch to her cheek, gives her a right hand to the mouth, then another, and back down goes Andrea, her backing banging into the ropes, and she slides down them and onto her ass. Andrea’s a brave old bird, and she’s up at 7 this time, but she just can’t get off the ropes as Jessica slams punches into her aching body one after another, the German grinning as she inflicts this pain on her opponent, almost seeming disappointed when the bell rings to end her fun.

Round 3

The gash on Andrea’s nose is still dribbling blood when the girls resume, and Jessica turns the dribble into a river when she sends the Brit backwards with a thundering right jab which has her slammed back into her own corner, in perfect position to receive Jessica’s favourite fight-ending punch – a right uppercut – which the big German crunches home with precision on Andrea’s jaw, knocking her totally senseless, draped across the ropes at first, then sliding gently to the canvas, where no count is necessary.

Jessica Schwarz knocked Andrea McLean out in round 3.

Jessica has the microphone in her hands after her gloves have been removed, and she announces, “I hope Alesha Dixon was watching this! You are next Dixon! I will put you away nice and easy! AGAIN!”

Will Jessica strap the saddle on Andrea and ride her? Well, she’d probably like to, but the poor woman’s being stretchered out of the ring to and ambulance, and then to hospital, where she is destined to stay for a couple of days after that beating.