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8 October 2012 Miley Cyrus vs Kelly Hu

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 12 months ago

Miley Cyrus 03.jpg Kelly Hu 06.JPG

Posted by simguy on October 8, 2012, 2:22 pm

BEFORE: "I'm suspicious of young fighters with no veteran or cougar names on their record," Miley shrugs in prefight. "Probably means you're being babied if your guys don't want you in with experience. That's why Kelly's perfect...sure, she's in her 40s, but she was the best fighter in boxing for a time, and you don't just forget that stuff over night! I'ma beat this woman's body, make her feel every minute of her age, and do a cougar like an ingenue should!"

Kelly non-plussed...former pound for pound queen now an acknowledged stepping stone, but that doesn't mean Miley's ready to take the step. "Cyrus has no future in boxing," Kelly sneers. "She can't see it because she's young and headstrong, and her handlers don't bring it up because they can still milk her for millions before she's used up, but make no mistake: this kid is fist-fodder. Seen it a million times in my career, but whatever: a payday is a payday, and battering Miley's a pretty good ticket!"

Miley in black bikini top, pink bottoms, black gloves; blonde hair pulled back into tidy battle bun. Kelly in hard to describe tropical bikini - fortunately there's a pic:
http://www.zimbio.com/Kelly+Hu/articles/9J6KeZR_ggm/Sexy+Kelly+Hu+Cool+Play+Poker+Everything

During R1: Miley dukes up/elbows in/chin tucked...looking to crowd in on Kelly's left shoulder and work. Hu in closed-stance; left shoulder pointed at Miley; left hand dangling; right at chin. Good action round - Miley nestling her head in close, then letting her hands go to Kelly's belly, hip and lower back as Hu stands angled with left side towards Cyrus. Kelly cuter - picking Miley up a super-short right uppercut inside; swat-hooking Miley's tummy; stooping to put left shoulder in Miley's gut, then pivoting on Cyrus to turn her counterclockwise. Kelly's round close - both girls working up a good honest sweat in the first.

R2: Same again - Miley dukes-at-cheeks, moving in to crowd on Kelly's left shoulder, then pumpin' the gut. Kelly allowing it, feeling Miley's determined sock downstairs, but feeding the kid higher-quality, well-placed shots head and body. Kelly able to turn Miley on the spot with a shoulder in Cyrus' body...Hu's subtle little angles and quick mitts the difference.

R3: Same again, though Miley's chip-chipping the jab to get herself inside clean, then strapping the body on arrival. Kelly cute off the counter - generally punching from the back (right) foot while using her left shoulder to steer and push Miley. Cyrus unsettled at one point when Kelly clouts her ears left/right/left...big ringing slaps knocking the kid from one foot to the other, but she recovers quickly. Bell: Kelly business-like, confident en route to corner...she's managing Miley through 3.

R4: Miley showing good composure - outboxed to this point certainly, but not letting her emotions get out of control. Steady push and punch drives Kelly ropeside...she forms a rolling/bobbing pocket, continuing to pick Miley up the cutey-pie right uppercuts inside, but Cyrus starts to pull away. Miley getting her head in Kelly's chest, squaring Hu up, and exposing the full pan of her breadbasket to two-fisted attack. Pumping hup-hup administered by Miley...she beats tummy for points in the 4th.

R5: Miley's grim - but smart - attrition forcing Kelly to ropes. Hu looking more and more grumpy, wincing under the weight of Miley; tying up for more ref's breaks. Cyrus just bulling in, putting her head in Kelly's chest and working - it's Cyrus' billygoat head, rolling shoulders and hard-working fists getting the better of a fading Kelly Hu through 5.

R6: Hu attempting to take back initiative with a series of wide, whippy right hands to ear...Miley slugged off line, but never hurt...she just bulls her way back in, bodies Kelly to ropes and makes her fight. Good action-packed, mouth-on-shoulder brawling on the apron - Kelly doing her best to push on Miley and swap leather underneath. Meanwhile, Miley's grinding with her head, biting down on her bit and pumping right/left to tummy - using the chickenwing left elbow to reset on Hu. Down the stretch, tight, chippy little right uppercut clips Miley clean to chin...young legs give a shimmy, prompting first clinch from Cyrus as Kelly steals the heat late.

R7: Grim, grinding attrition as Miley marches on Hu, takes her to ropes, pours it on with head lowered/shoulders rolling. Fists constantly churning at Kelly; that left shoulder/left chickenwinged elbow jostling Kelly, propping her in ropes...it's Miley being effervescent and young, just constantly at her girl. Miley brawny even when not punching - often bodying Kelly into ropes, headlocking her, twisting her roughly to the side, or pulling at her arms. Bell: Hu mouthbreathing, hair disheveled across staring eyes...youngster using cougar up with straightforward survival-of-the-fittest tactics.

R8: More Miley-on-Kelly abuse - Cyrus just pushing Hu to ropes, crowding close with left hand on Kelly's shoulder, then pumping right hands to Hu's breadbasket. Thick, shoving, brutal work - nothing fancy as Miley stacks-and-jacks - pink-clad buns shuddering side to side as Miley's legs keep her weight pressing into Kelly. Hu grumpy - face in a bytchy, dejected grimace: Miley alternating over the last half - shoving mitts to belly, then cramming punches to jug in close...Cyrus just systematically beating the stuffing out of Kelly.

R9: Heroic counterpunching off the ropes early for Hu - she scores vicious, clipping right uppercuts and swat-across left hooks to light Miley up, putting the kid wobbly butt in minute 1. Testament to Cyrus legs that she never relinquishes top-position on ropes...she recovers well, sponging up Kelly's power and answering vigorously to the body in a pulverizing second minute that beats Kelly ragged. Down the stretch, discouraged Hu covers up face-in-gloves, sitting in ropes as vengeful Miley pounds hips and flanks; dips left shoulder to hoist jerky left uppercuts to breadbasket, leaving Kelly trembling at bell.

R10: Last-gasp effort in the 9th leaves Kelly breathless and exhausted...job of work for Miley to climb aboard and clean Kelly up. Hu suffering terribly whenever she just puts the earmuffs on and sits on ropes...hellacious thumping torso-attack usually enough to make Kelly clinch, bringing ref in for breaks. Miley just chugging away, feeling her oats, fighting with a hard-working, determined grin as she pushes back in after ref steps her back. Nothing fancy from Cyrus - just getting on top of Kelly and working her over bell to bell. Break: Miley brightening, jumping away with right hand in the air...Kelly all used up, hugging her body on the limp back to her corner. Comes back UD10 Miley Cyrus as youth is served.

AFter: Heartbreaking stuff for Kelly Hu as she starts strong, outclasses Miley over the first half, only to watch her lead melt away under the beat of a young blonde-girl's relentless fists. "Beat her body like a champ!" Miley gushes in postfight. "She was crisp and sharp early, but she wasn't hurting me at all. I knew if I just kept at her, she'd wear down eventually. I extinguished a legend tonight - just got on top of her and used her up! There's nothing like a Kelly Hu on the record of Jamie Lynn Spears or Lyndsy Fonseca - girls like that...I'm blowing the doors off my peer group in terms of my overall development!"