If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.
You already know Dokkio is an AI-powered assistant to organize & manage your digital files & messages. Very soon, Dokkio will support Outlook as well as One Drive. Check it out today!

8 October 2012 Jennifer Lawrence vs Kaley Cuoco

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 6 months ago

Jennifer Lawrence 03.jpg Kaley Cuoco 09.jpg

Posted by simguy on October 8, 2012, 4:23 pm,

BEFORE: "Jen's been put in pretty soft, in my opinion," Kaley assesses in prefight. "That's left her pretty vulnerable when she steps up to the elite level. She's mastered one punch only - the hook; her feet are pedestrian; defence is suspect...she's got potential, but she's very rough. Not even a 'diamond in the rough' rough...she's like carbon at this point."

Lawrence shrugging off the criticism in rebuttal. "Well, even if I was being babied (which is stupid), obviously I'm not NOW - since nobody would question the great-and-mighty Kaley's credentials. I agree I have a lot of fine-tuning to do, but I won't believe that Kaley can take my punch until I see it. I hurt girls with hooks. Doesn't matter if it's my only punch: I land it on Kaley, her legs'll get tested."

Kaley in black bikini; black gloves; hair in twisty bun with long bangs framing face. Jen in lipstick red bikini with black ring connections; black gloves; long blonde hair loose.

During R1: Jen in wide stance, chin tucked, right hand chest-high, left hand at hip. Kaley in closed stance, pointing left shoulder at Jen, left hand dangling to thigh, right hand under chin. Kaley lifting the back-hand jab to Jen's tummy; taking Jen's right hand to left shoulder in receipt. Kaley turning into swipe-right hands to Jen's breasts; Jen trying to jam the straight right hand to chin in receipt. Kaley pivoting to either side, dragging her lead (left) foot in a bucket - always measuring Jen, looking to check her the perfect counter. Tactical round to Cuoco - Jen showing a bit too much respect; corner reminds her to "put the pressure" to Kaley.

R2: Same stances and fronts - Jen stalking; Kaley cute in her closed stance, turning and luring Lawrence midring. Jen storming forward, pouring right hands over the top...Kaley shoulder-rolls the incoming; comes back the cutey-pie bolo-right uppercut clean to chin...first test of the fight as Jen's picked up tart, put wobbly-butt. Kaley quick-pivots 45 degrees-right - stationed off Jen's left hip, Kaley snap-hooks the tummy; chops a hateful right hand in atop Jen's left hip, momentarily distressing the already hurting Lawrence. Jen rallying well under duress...she forms earmuff, protects her head while sacrificing her body...Kaley happily swatting and chopping away while retreating in good order, turning at the ropes to avoid being stacked. Down the stretch, Jen starting to bang long, batting left hooks wide to paunch...Kaley legging out the clock rather than engaging toe-to-toe.

R3: Furious exchange at the open - both women pounding to the body, working up-torso and JEN HOOKS CHIN! Kaley stepping in fence post holes, eyes shellshocked: Jen over to offence as Cuoco clinches for break. Jen stalking hurt prey...Kaley blinking, circling the aprons...Lawrence punching hard right hands to Kaley's chest, then REEFING in wide hooks to lats/ribs...Kaley grimacing on impact, but executing tactical clinches to slow the assault. Thumping attrition applied by ham-handed Jen bell to bell: Kaley using all her wiles to survive off the ropes, getting out of the round shabby, but alert.

R4: Kaley still hurt...Jen jabs her to ropes, squares away to ropes. Right hand at chest/left at hip, Jen twists torso side to side, slamming and bashing away heavy lefts and rights. Kaley showing back of right hand at left cheek; left tucked into right armpit...she's rolling in the pocket, bobbing up and down, weaving back into ropes, always looking for chances to swipe back. Kaley catching Jen clean across her mouth or breasts with sneaky single-shot counters, but Lawrence shrugs it all off, sustaining a punishing pace on Kaley's body through 4.

R5: Another good minute for Lawrence strapping away on Kaley at ropes, then Cuoco starts connecting on cutey-pie counters, stroking punches as she dips and twists in the pocket. Jen rugged, but getting clouted...she finally backs off, abandoning top-position at ropes as Kaley walks forward. Cuoco roaming to her right - feinting - then lunging in via athletic lead right hand...paydirt to Jen's chin as Lawrence reels backwards into ropes! Jen staring, forming earmuff...precious opportunity for Kaley to step-close, pop her hips side to side and really lash in body blows thick from either glove. Bell: Kaley panting, walking back to corner hands on hips; Jen wincing, hugging her body in response to Kaley' heartfelt gut-mugging.

R6: Kaley back to mobile operations out of the closed-stance - lots of feints; stoop-and-slap belly jabs; roll-and-counter right hands. Jen getting strafed, but pushing forward, applying sledgehammer tactics to the problem of Kaley with a blunt, straight right up top and a swinging, heavy hook downstairs.

R7: Kaley separates herself, giving Jen Lawrence the worst round of her career. A torrid beating: Kaley leaping in off feints to slam lead right hands to chin; jabbing the tummy/jabbing the jugs/shoulder-rolling the right hand receipt, then countering that slap-choppy right to chin. Jen battered off course, beaten around the ring - Kaley scoring to head, then ripping up the body as Lawrence tries to duck-and-cover. Midway through, crowd-pleasing sequence of FOUR consecutive Kaley Cuoco right hands (straight right; right uppercut; right cross; right cross) punches the mouthpiece off Jennifer's teeth, sends her reeling backwards to take a seat near the ropes! Jen stunned, glassy-eyed, but soldiering on...Kaley hardens her heart, POURING the leather to Lawrence as Jen stoops forward behind earmuff. Lawrence groaning aloud as Kaley buries the right to gut, then the left - stepping back to let Jen totter forward before plowing home anew. Brutal stuff - Kaley empties both barrels into Jen, can't get Lawrence to quit...bell sounds, initiating standing for Kaley's savagery/Jen's heart through 7.

R8: Kaley anxious to finish, sweeping lefts and rights across Jen as Lawrence crouches down, then COMES UP HOOKING! Walloping crash takes Kaley across the teeth, driving her to ropes at the stagger...ON COMES JENNIFER! Lawrence baring her teeth - piling into Kaley, stacking her up, dipping the right shoulder to shovel righty-to-gut; dipping left shoulder, popping hips-right and REEFING home the body-hook! Kaley crying out - HER turn to hurt...Jen just bashing away to glory, cleaning up stout when KALEY STARTS TO ANSWER! HAMMER AND TONGS! KALEY AND JEN PASTING AWAY TOE-TO-TOE! Crowd delirious as curvy-sexy blondes check their minds at the door and just start wailing. Jen stubbornly absorbing shellack - jamming straight rights up top with palm-down delivery; lashing that hook amidships in search of quit. Kaley grimacing, keeping elbows in, dipping herself side to side and swatting punches at all things Jennifer. Bell: girls slugging away mindless until ref pushes 'em apart...chests heaving, mouths wide open, eyes glaring with dull hatred through 8.

R9: Kaley trades a rising right to chin for Jen's jolting straight right to chin...Cuoco's legs give a shimmy as Jen reloads, then DETONATES her hook off Kaley's chin! DOWN GOES KALEY! Cuoco sprawling to her back - crowd roaring to it's feet...Jen bellowing down incoherently as ref pushes her away. Cuoco jittery rolling over right hip...she struggles up, staggers into ropes, takes her 8 blinking in stupor.
On.
Comes.
Jen.
Lawrence showing veteran patience - not rushing, not falling in to smother herself...she extends hands to palm Kaley's shoulders, stacking her upright, then methodically beating her. Oh that left hook on the gut - punches just TUGGING at Kaley-paunch. Pounding rights slamming into Kaley's rigid high guard; constant pushing and shoving to keep Kaley pinned down. Cuoco battered, but too proud to go: she survives; Jen wanders back to corner hands-on-hips, eyes hollow from exhaustion.

R10: Midring - exhausted beauties shoulder to shoulder, turning into short rights and lefts...trade in crashing hooks goes Kaley's way and DOWN GOES JENNIFER! LAWRENCE on her back now, sobbing in disbelief...Kaley crying in exultation, staggering to neutral corner. Jen peels herself off canvas, stumbling into ropes, somehow convincing ref not to stop it and HERE COMES KALEY! BRUTAL right hand tucks in deep to belly, doubling Jen up hurrrt, but Lawrence won't punk! Jen brawling off the ropes, looping and often wrapping punches around Kaley's shoulders as both fighters get sloppy. Mindless pushing and slugging - both girls giving and receiving ringing blows close-in to chin, or pumping away to offending tummies. Bell: Kaley pulled off by ref from behind...Cuoco takes the 10th, and the fight in a blonde brawl for the ages.

After: Kaley classy in postfight - battered blondes engaging in exhausted embrace as elite vixen acknowledges rising star. "I honestly can't believe I could feel this bad, and still win the fight," Kaley admits, visibly wilted from punishment. "Jennifer Lawrence hits like a welterweight, and takes punches like a brick wall. I hit her with shots that would've ended the freaking CAREER of Jessica Biel: Jen just gobbled 'em up and beat me back to the body. That was a war, but fortunately, I'm built to win fire-fights. Once we were both hurt, I knew I'd take it. Jen's big, but I've got the heart of a lion. She'd have had to break her corner-stool over my head to get the win tonight!"