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8 October 2012 Eva Mendes vs Kate Beckinsale

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 6 months ago

Eva Mendes 05.jpg Kate Beckinsale 05.jpg

Posted by simguy on October 8, 2012, 4:30 pm

BEFORE: Mainstream media crowding out the boxing press in conferences...it's an A-list glamour fight to everyone but Kate Beckinsale. "Someone needs to remind Eva that 'Hitch' was a decade ago," Kate says, high and haughty. "One wonders how long she intends to milk that particular cow. I on the other hand, am in a smash-hit blockbuster every 6 months it seems...this is a contest between a true A-lister in myself, and a B, B- fighter at best."

Eva rolling her eyes, keeping temper in check at dais. "I can see now why JMac never tires of waxing that ass," Mendes quips. "Kate's one irritating bytch, I'll give her that. Why don't we hand out letter grades AFTER the fight? That way, when they're carrying Kate out of the ring on a gurney, we'll get a more accurate read on her!"

Eva in leopard print push up; black velvet boy leg trunks; small black gloves; hair in loose tangles. Kate in purple lace bra and panties; hair in loose tangles.

During R1: Kate hands up, elbows in, tapping out quick one-twos with palm-down delivery while rotating counter-clockwise. Eva in seek and destroy mode early...hands at hips, striding into Kate and whirling rights or lefts wide to body or head. Eva crouching with her shots, fists following through to her opposite-side hip...full-blooded latina slugging has Kate backpedaling. Beckinsale spooked, using nimble footwork to avoid absorbing Eva's full power, but it's still Mendes coming forward and owning the ring.

R2: Similar stuff - Mendes wading in with hands low, bending into her punches, turning the blows all the way over in circular arcs. Kate more upright, hands at chin/elbows in...she's feinting, sidestepping, timing Eva's wallop, then dotting her one-two face or breasts with palm-down, straight-jamming precision. Down the stretch, Kate retreating on a line, issuing stiff check-jabs to advancing Eva's mouth...right hand off the shoulder chips Eva's chin, spoiling her own swinging right; quick palm-down left hook swings to a slamming halt on the point of Eva's chin and MENDES SITS DOWN! Eva socked to her glutes - prompting pouting glare from Becks on the strut past...Eva up quickly, dusting herself off, but badly rattled at the bell.

R3: Eva unbowed, completely dismissing Kate's power...Mendes continues to wade in hands-low, whirling power-punches from both sides, slugging Beckinsale out of set positions. Kate frowning, keeping elbows in to protect her body...clubbing Mendes punches bouncing off British shoulders or temples to oohs and ahhs from the crowd...it's entertaining stuff. Beckinsale hopping and sidestepping, feinting - just trying to disrupt Eva's rhythm...British girl putting palm-down quick-mitt left/rights into Eva's breasts, then escaping rather than face latina wrath. Bell: Mendes clearly disgusted, telling the crowd: "She's running!" en route to her stool.

R4: Step-and-slug pressure from Eva hounds Kate early...Beckinsale gradually negotiating better terms as she retreats in good order, walking Eva into a variety of well-timed check-jabs, check-hooks, and sneaky, pre-emptive straight right hands. Midway through, neat sidestep-slip sees Kate guide Eva into ropes, then turn on her...Beckinsale positioned off Eva's left hip; British girl traps Latina left arm under Kate's right, then deploys batting, straight-arm hooks - one, two, three spanking licks dig at Eva's trunks, sitting her moaning in ropes. Kate bodies up, pushes Mendes upright on cable, then SHOVES the right hand home to belly. Beckinsale's chin up over Mendes' left shoulder, teeth bared - Kate crowding close with her body as she buries the punch into Eva's midsection, then pushes off to reset. Kate crowds in again, shoving the left deep to gut - pushes off, tucks the right in. Gorgeous, plowing stuff some of the most dedicated body-punching of Kate Beckinsale's career - really gettiing her buns and back into short, shoving shots. Blubbering Eva able to clinch at last, bringing ref in...Beckinsale's dark eyes dancing at Eva's distress.

R5: Eva proves a battler, shaking off body-torment to once again go on the attack. Swinging, rangy power soon discourages Kate from toe-to-toe...she's hopping and circling outside, feinting and withdrawing, showing good respect for Latina power. Eva wincing, obviously still labouring, but SO determined...she's walking Kate down, throwing hard at her, giving chase as Beckinsale evacuates set positions.

R6: Kate switches to right hand at chin/left hand at hip, closing her stance...as Eva approaches - Kate darts in with the up-jab; withdraws half a step; trades right hands; withdraws - always keeping left shoulder pointed Eva's way. Mendes teeth-bared, showing good ferocity...she's wading in, just trying to catch Kate with one good curling shot...Beckinsale gets the timing right, pre-empts with a cutey-pie hook-off-the-hip and EVA'S HURT! Mendes spilling off to her left all eyes-wide...Becks over to offense as Latina staggers into ropes. British girl approaching with fists at her chest...she steps in close, carrying the right to belly; bobs to reset; rips the left to trunks; bobs; plows the right to belly...Mendes gurgling, spellbound, reaching arms loose around Kate's shoulders in feeble clinch attempt. Beckinsale feeling it...mouth on Eva's left shoulder, Kate's hands push Eva's hips back, creating space underneath, then it's back to the shoving rights and lefts - Becks getting her back and buns into short, tucking shots. Eva's head lolling, lashes fluttering...she's a helpless, body-shocked vixen - hair in her eyes, lips parted and THE REF STEPS IN! TKO6 Kate Becks in paralyzing fashion!

After: Smart, hardnosed, meanspirited and ultimately determined stuff from Kate...she uses her legs, works the trunks and beats the body of Eva Mendes for an impressive - some might say "heinous" - stoppage victory. "No one combines greater celebrity with greater fighting vigor, than me," Kate announces in postfight. "Gaze upon me and know what it is to truly be an A-list fighter. The difference is plain; the verdict is in: Eva Mendes is a lesser fighter, a lesser actress, a lesser woman, than Kate Beckinsale!"