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2 November 2012 Morena Baccarin vs Minka Kelly

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 5 months ago

Morena Baccarin 02.jpg Minka Kelly 02.jpg

Posted by simguy on November 2, 2012, 10:10 am

BEFORE: Esquire's "Most Beautiful" takes on their former "World's Sexiest"...whole lotta doe-eyed goodness either way. "I'd rather be beautiful than sexy," Morena says with a devilish smirk, "In the way I'd rather be a princess than a whore. Minka's trampiness aside, I'm going to take her apart for a couple of reasons. One, she's very, very hittable. Mink walks in like a welterweight, but she's not bulletproof...I'll pick her to pieces. Two - and this is key: I have to stand up to Claire freaking Danes every day on the set of Homeland. Claire Danes or Minka Kelly...who do YOU think is the bigger threat. That's right: Kelly's small potatoes."

Minka confident as always - she's polite, but fiercely competitive where Morena's concerned. "When Esquire put a spotlight on Morena, I knew we'd have to fight," Minka shrugs. "It's the way things work...she got super-bold right after that, talking a lot of smack, and I knew I was on her list. That's fine...'Minka Kelly' is on a lot of lists, but it's all well and good to write a name on a piece of paper: quite another thing to punch your way through the actual girl. I know Morena's skillful - she's a great boxer - but she's underpowered and hasn't shown much heart to this point. I'll take that match up every time!"

Minka in neon baby blue bikini top; bright yellow bottoms; small white gloves; curly high-pony with bracket bangs framing face. Morena in black stretch-cotton bra and panties; white waistband; small black gloves; shiny black pixie-cut hair.

During R1: Morena sliding counter-clockwise in wide stance, hands in gull-wing low to either side...she's looking to lure Minka close, then paste her the slick lead right/fade-away hook routine. Minka steadfast on approach...dukes at cheeks; bobbing head movement; stepping in strong on left leg while stamping out the straight lead right, looking to turn over palm-down hooks from there. Baccarin getting some nice angles off Minka's left flank, but not committing: Morena's slinging right hands usually delivered as she's bailing out. Minka the more forceful beauty - always stepping into her shots...she's not landing clean leather on supple Morena, but she's obviously the effective aggressor through 1.

R2: Baccarin gets it right - sliding to her right to avoid Minka's stubby lead right; slinging the low-slung right clean to Minka's chin on the counter. Kelly buzzed, stepping in fence-post holes...Baccarin calmly shifting to her right while hooking her left hand across Minka's mouth; leaning in and down to punch her right hand to Minka's tummy as Kelly's turning to square-up; sliding to the right again while dragging that insolent left hook across Minka's tummy, once again turning Kelly on the spot. Silky smooth stuff from Baccarin...Kelly formed up with dukes at cheeks, trying to force herself on Morena without success. Baccarin breezy about her brunette - pebbling Kelly's pate and guard pitty-pat one-twos; lathering either hip and flank more serious, whip-armed lefts and rights as Minka's crouching forward. Bell: frosty eye contact, Morena to Minka...Kelly gets a touch of class in the 2nd.

R3: Morena committed to counterpunching...as a result, Minka outworks her early. Nothing fancy - Kelly stepping-to at rapid tempo; twisting that straight right hand into Morena's chest; turning over the palm-down hook whistle-quick across the mouth. Baccarin brushed back/chased down, but never fully losing composure. Down the stretch, she gets her distance and timing exactly right...pivot-sliding to her right to neatly evade Minka's lead right, then slinging the cute counter-right off her hip to clout Minka across the mouth. Kelly: eyes closed in shock, eyebrows arched high, mouth open...she's stepping in fence-post holes again, whereupon Morena bends in over her lead (left) leg; hoists the left uppercut once to trunks, once to belly and DOWN GOES KELLY! Minka in tears - punched to hands and knees, then sitting haunches to massage her trunks with right hand...ref issuing count as coldblooded Morena stalks to neutral corner...Minka beats the count brave, but drops a 10-8 third to her sneaky tormentress.

Cuthbert e-comment: "I would SO be beating Morena up right now!"

R4: Baccarin whittling at Minka - feinting her into defensive crouch; lather-batting away to either flank; escaping past Minka's left shoulder. Kelly resolute, sponging up Morena's spicy, but relatively light offerings...Kelly much more committed to her punching when she steps into Morena. Pays off midway through as Kelly doubles up a pesky jab to confuse Baccarin's defensive decision-loop; straight right hand ticketed for chin knocks Morena's head straight back and DROPS HER TO HER GLUTES! Good stiff poke changes Baccarin's attitude...she's a flustered beauty coming off the deck, shamelessly running thereafter rather than seeking engage a VERY determined Minka.

R5: Cat and mouse continues...Kelly pressing up the middle effectively at times; other times she's sweetly sidestepped and countered clean to chin. Morena so loose and supple in her stance - hands in low-aspect gull-wing; legs wide - she's just hopping and sliding in her stance, weaving in and out on her hips - very elusive. Morena gets the better of the game this round, fetching Minka a pair of extra-spicy low-slung right hand counters over the final minute to punch Kelly off balance. Bell: Kelly makes defiant eye contact before turning for her corner...BACCARIN HEADBUTTS KELLY BETWEEN THE SHOULDER-BLADES (AKA THE "WITHERS") Kelly thumped forward a few steps, head back, eyes shut tight, hands up, wrists bent back...she's shaken up by the thudding, pixie-cut back-butt; Morena dragged away by her right arm and scolded by the ref during the break.

R6: Morena changes tack: now she pivots to her left with elbows up, hands raised in higher-aspect gull wing. Jab, jab, hook-and-pivot-clockwise routines for Baccarin early: Minka usually taking all three punches pate, pate, chin as Morena turns the hook over palm-down through the strike zone. Kelly confused through the first half, really getting stung, but stocky legs prove their worth...Minka able to collect herself, up her tempo, jab-with and start placing blunt right hands straight to Morena's chin. Both girls punched onto their heels and rocked at times in a drawn sixth.

R7: Shades of Claire Danes for Morena...she's jab-jabbing with a relaxed left hand; hook-and-pivoting clockwise, scoring to Minka's jaw and turning her on the spot. Kelly flustered, giving up touches and reacting late...Morena too slick and quick, tattooing Minka's face, sidesteppin' her pretty. Hint of a smile on Baccarin's mischievous lips thoughout last minute...she pastes Minka for a shutout through 7.

R8: Morena settling in: jab, jab, hook-and-pivot routine doing the job on Minka. Kelly pre-empted by Baccarin's light, but darting-swift jabs, then hooked to chin while trying to deploy the straight right hand. Baccarin poised, icy-calm - dragging that lead (left) foot in a bucket as she scuffs up Minka's World's Sexiest face, keeping Kelly's output to the bare minimum.

Eliza Dushku tells a roving interviewer: "Baccarin should be going to Minka's tits more - give 'em a good dousing. That's how I did her!"

R9: Kelly ups tempo, getting inside Morena's jab before Baccarin can adjust. Morena set to lead, not counter - Kelly pounding the lead right flat to chest; turning over whistling palm-down hooks and midway through - DOWN GOES MORENA! Baccarin finally slugged to her glutes after eating a steady diet of clip-across hooks...Kelly glaring down on the strut-past as Baccarin rolls stiffly over her right hip. Morena in good shape at 8, but spooked...she lopes the perimeter, running shamelessly in spots; clinching head-and-right arm on Kelly for ref's breaks. Minka dominant bell to bell, but can't pour it on for the stoppage against Morena's survival tactics.

R10: Kelly relentlessly boring in on Morena - Minka almost breaking into a jog at times to collapse distance on her reluctant foe. World's Sexiest definitely bringing the fight to Most Beautiful...Morena roaming to her right, walking Kelly in, ducking low, then rising to embrace Minka for ref's breaks. Kelly's round by default, but no damage done to clever Baccarin. Fight scored a draw: Kelly insists on continuing to decisive finish; Morena demures, claiming "I've more than made my point". 10 round draw declared.

AFter: "I just want to slug the smug off her face, you know?" pretty Minka complains in postfight. "It's obvious she was running scared after I put her down in the 9th. Her legs were giving little tremors and I was finding the range more and more...she knew I was getting ready to knock her out and she just couldn't bare the thought of finishing up on her back!"

Morena laughing off all suggestion that Minka was getting to her. "I took what I wanted from Minka," Baccarin contends. "She's a simp - a whimpering whiner. I carried her for 10, had my way with her, and now I'm bored with her. I see no reason to continue on, and if the officials weren't all - clearly - Lookout! Brand stooges, they'd have scored the fight for the boxing masterpiece it was!"