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25 November 2012 Allison Mack vs Angelina Jolie

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 4 months ago

Allison Mack 07.jpg Angelina Jolie 04.jpg

MIRAGE AT THE AYSLUM

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on November 25, 2012, 12:50 am

BEFORE:

"I'm not certain why my management booked me against a C-list actress like Allison Mack," says Angelina with a shake of the head. "After all, JOLIE REX should be fighting FELLOW A-listers like Beckinsale, Knightley, Hudson or Johansson. Not some TELEVISION actress. Next they'll have me fighting PAGE THREE girls or PLAYMATES! Oh, well. I'll just have to go out and make short work of this SUPPORTING PLAYER so that, perhaps next time, I'll get to fight a real STAR!"

"I am GOING," says Allison, biting off every word, "To KICK her ARROGANT A**!"

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Death Or Glory' by The Clash, and here comes Jolie Rex, Angelina Jolie!"

Tess: "For those who don't know, The Clash is Angelina's favorite band..."

McCarthy: "Like I CARE."

Tess(chuckling): "It occurs to me, Mac, that there might not BE a good outcome for you in this bout..."

McCarthy: "Sure there is. It's pretty rare, but simultaneous double knockouts DO occur..."

O'Dell: "Jolie into the ring, helped off with the robe, and going with the black bikini tonight."

McCarthy: "Skinny. Not enough meat on those bones to be a PLAYMATE. You know, the kind of girl she's too GOOD to fight..."

Oh, the shark, babe
Has such teeth, dear...

McCarthy: "UNbeLIVEable..."

Tess: "Mac still hasn't come to terms with Allison Mack using this song..."

McCarthy: "It's MYSONG!"

Tess: "OR the fact that Wiz BOUGHT the rights to the song for Allison, so, technically, it's HIS song..."

McCarthy: "Maybe I'll come out of retirement and we can have a MATCH for the song rights..."

O'Dell: "How about you stay retired a full MONTH first? Allison Mack wearing the familiar black robe with the gleaming silver knife, dark red blood dripping from it. Into the ring. Helped off with the robe by Neve and Jewel, who've taken back over from Britney. Wearing that blood red bikini she likes..."

McCarthy: "SPEAKING of people who aren't getting in Playboy..."

Tess: "You really ARE hoping that quarter lands on its side aren't you?"

McCarthy: "Have we ever HAD a double KO in the FCBA? We HAVE to be due..."

O'Dell(sighing): "Ladies about ready to get started. Tess has picked Allison in this one. What do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Allison Mack is a typical overrated Front Street Dancing Hooker, but I STILL think she's better than Jolie. I'm going with Mack by KO."

O'Dell: "Let's find out if our ladies are correct. Here we go. Angelina a southpaw and she's quickly getting started with that long right jab..."

McCarthy: "Jolie has a three-inch height advantage on Mack and more than the normal reach advantage that would entail, because Angelina has long arms. She's built light, but she's got power and she's known for cutting."

O'Dell: "Right now, she's working that right, using angles, keeping Mack off balance. Allison slipping into range now and then, getting off hooks to the head or ribcage. Jolie angling up, scoring with the right, dropping the left on Mack here and there."

Tess: "Allison dogged. Working forward, wants that ribcage. Mack LOVES to get in tight and work body, and watch out for that right hand, because it can send you to la-la land very quickly."

O'Dell: "Jolie well aware of that, I'm sure. Still angling up Mack as the bell sounds ending the first. Good round for both fighters, but Angie had the better of it."

McCarthy: "Agreed. 10-9 for Jolie."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Back to action in the second, and Jolie again using that reach, snapping that long right hand home. Showing angles. Making Mack work to square her up. Getting into good position and getting off in combination."

McCarthy: "This is why Jolie can be dangerous. She may not be a classy person, but sher's a classy fighter."

Tess: "Allison still determined, however. Slipping inside and working the body when she gets the chance. Not letting Angelina have it all her way."

O'Dell: "Mack working almost exclusively downstairs right now. Very little punching above the waist, and the opposite is true of Angelina, who's doing nothing but headhunting at the moment."

McCarthy: "Jolie having the better of things, Jenny. She's fighting her fight. Mack unable to impose the rules she wants right now."

O'Dell: "And Angelina landing one more good combination at the bell, and she's won her second straight round."

Tess: "20-18. Good start for Jolie."

McCarthy: "And Weirdo's girls have now lost EIGHT straight rounds. Their last win was Perry stopping Swift. Seems like a WEEK ago."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round underway and Angelina back with another dose of the slick. Jolie with the long right hand, scoring well, angling up, fitting in lefts. Mack dogged. Working inside, squaring up at times and going body, but it's Angie who's a bit more effective."

McCarthy: "Reach and boxing ability. Using them both very well right now."

O'Dell: "Mack working forward, looking to close and work the body. Angie with the right hand, scoring points, misses a left...RIGHT HOOK COUNTER, MACK! AND JOLIE IS ROCKED!"

Tess: "Ducked that left and BLASTED the right home. Timed perfectly!"

O'Dell: "Angelina in retreat now. Allison moving forward, backing her up, banging at those ribs, landing upstairs, too. Angelina keeping the guard up, but she's clearly buzzed and Allison taking full advantage. Thumping home heavy shots."

McCarthy: "Angelina doing a good job of keeping moving despite being wobbly. Not getting backed into the ropes."

O'Dell: "And she's going to survive the round. Clock runs out and there's the bell, but Allison Mack is on the board."

Tess: "29-28, Jolie, through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Back to action in round four and Angelina wants to get back into her rhythm, but Allison pressing, crowding, upping the tempo now."

Tess: "Mack likes to work a busy, aggressive style. Jolie kept a bit of a lid on that in the first two rounds, but Allison forcing tempo now."

O'Dell: "Mack getting those hooks into the body. Backing Jolie up. Keeping her moving. Not letting her set up and get to work with that right hand. Allison hounding Angelina. Right in her grill. Forcing her out of her positions."

McCarthy: "Mack fighting lead for the first time all night. This isn't what Jolie wants."

O'Dell: "But it's what Allison wants, and she's GETTING what she wants in this stanza. Dictating to Jolie from bell to bell. That's the end of the fourth, and the end of Angelina's lead."

Tess: "Mack easily in that one makes it 38-38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth begins the way the fourth ended, with Mack pushing down on the pedal, crowding and pressuring Angelina. Jolie being forced out of her spots as Allison continues to fight lead..."

Tess: "You know, if Neve really IS going to pick and choose at this point, Wiz has an interesting choice on who to push at bantam...Park or THIS girl. Because they're both pretty impressive..."

McCarthy: "If THAT'S all he has to push, he'd be begging for a Munn trade..."

O'Dell: "Jolie a bit more aggressive this round. Picking her spots to stand and fight. Landing that right hand and some lefts as well. Allison more than willing to bang back, working the body in close until Angelina goes into a strategic retreat."

McCarthy: "This is what Angelina will have to do in the face of these tactics by Allison. Can't let Mack steamroll her with pressure like she did in the fourth."

O'Dell: "And Jolie apparently agrees. Standing a fighting at times of her choosing here before withdrawing in good order. Mack still dogged, working the body. Scoring occasionally upstairs. There's the bell. Close, but Mack's round, I think."

McCarthy: "I gave it to Allison. No idea what the judges will do."

Tess: "Mack up 48-47 now, through five."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Round six underway and Mack back to the pressure. Jolie unable to keep her at a distance with the right hand. Again picking and choosing her battles."

McCarthy: "Allison banging away to the body while Angie hunts head. Sometimes body punchers don't get the credit from judges they deserve. That could be a factor if we have some more close rounds like the last one."

O'Dell: "Mack takes a right, hooks the midsection. Jolie with a flurry...and Allison answers back with some heavy shell! Angelina backs up and fires back, snaps a couple of rights home, drops a left...AND MACK ROCKS HER WITH A RIGHT-LEFT! Jolie misses a left-hand counter...AND ALLISON A RIGHT UPPERCUT AND DOWN GOES ANGELINA!"

Tess: "Did a little too much trading..."

O'Dell: "Mack to a neutral corner. Referee picks up the count at three. Four. Five. Angelina to her knees. Going to beat it. Up at seven. Takes the mandatory. And here comes Allison Mack! Allison right to work with a withering flurry! Landed a good left hook in there that shook Jolie! Mack a right hand and Angelina wobbled. Forced up against the ropes. Mack going all in with both hands! Jolie covering up. Hanging on...MACK SNAPS HER HEAD BACK WITH A STRAIGHT RIGHT...ANGIE WOBBLES ALONG THE ROPES...AND IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! REFEREE LEAPING IN AND WAIVING IT OFF! YOUR WINNER BY TKO6, ALLISON 'MACK THE KNIFE' MACK!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Allison Mack, and, Knife, you weren't too pleased with some of the remarks Angelina made before the fight..."

Allison: "Go ask her for a comment, now. Don't think she's going to have much to say, because she's going to be eating through a straw for the next few weeks after that uppercut."

Tess: "2013 is all about pushes at Front Street. Looks like you're angling for one."

Allison: "I just go out there and fight who management tells me to fight. I take care of business INSIDE the ropes. I leave the rest up to them."