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30 December 2012 Kat Dennings vs Lea Seydoux

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 2 months ago

 

 

Kat Dennings 01.jpgLea Seydoux 02.jpg

"Better Luck Next Time Mayans" PPV (Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

 

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on December 30, 2012, 11:34 pm, in reply to "Better Luck Next Time, Mayans "

BEFORE:

"I am FAR superior to Kat Dennings in every way," says a sweetly smiling Lea. "I am taller, I am stronger, I'm a better actress and far prettier. And, of course, I'm a better fighter, which I shall prove tonight."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," says Kat, shaking her head. "She's prettier, she's blonder, and she's gonna knock me out. Sounds JUST like Kendra Wilkinson only with a freaking French accent. Maybe she should ask Kendra how stepping in with ME worked out for HER."


ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "The words 'no love' immediately pop to mind, Mac..."

McCarthy: "Like I've said before, this is a prize fight. We need animalosity, not love!"

Tess: "We need WHAT?"

McCarthy: "AnimalOSITY, Walmart! Buy a dictionary!"

Tess: "I'm going to WRITE one. A J-Mac- to-English tome that will sell a million copies..."

O'Dell: "And that's 'Runnin' Wild' you hear over the P.A., and the singer of this version of that tune, Lea Seydoux, is on her way to the ring. Seydoux bouncing down the aisle, climbing into the ring, helped off with the robe by the Latin Union corner people...and taking a look at her in that red bikini, there's no question why she used to model..."

McCarthy: "Might even be Playboy material..."

Tess: "HERE we go..."

McCarthy: "Shut it, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "Down the hatch, boys, and down the aisle, to 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' by Scissor Sisters comes the lovely Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"

Tess: "Kat, of course, a protege of Neve Campbell..."

McCarthy: "Which is PRECISELY why she'll never make it in the FCBA!"

O'Dell: "Dennings into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve..."

McCarthy: "Where's that phony Allison Mack?"

O'Dell: "In the locker room getting ready, no doubt. Robe drops to reveal a black number that shows off Kat's curves pretty well. Ladies getting ready to go, and time for predictions. Tess on record as favoring Kat, though she doesn't discount a win by Lea. What do you think, Mac?"

McCarthy: "I think Seydoux is going to clean this kid's clock. Too bad, too. I like her some. She's got a mouth on her. But, being stuck at Front Street with that loser Campbell, the kid will never develop."

O'Dell: "We're about to find out. We've got a staredown going on across the ring and there's the bell. The two ladies straight out of their corners and at one another in the center! Dennings banging body, Seydoux with a short hook to the side of the head..."

Tess: "The term we'll want to use here is 'heavy leather'."

O'Dell: "And it's indeed being exchanged as Kat and Lea go toe to toe, neither backing up a step, both getting off heavy shot and...DOWN GOES SEYDOUX!"

Tess: "SHOVEL HOOK! SHOVEL HOOK TO THE LIVER!"

O'Dell: "And Lea down and hurt, curled into a ball on her left side holding the midsection! Kat walking coldly to a neutral corner and waiting as the referee counts...four. Five. Six. Lea rocking back and forth on her side..."

McCarthy: "She's not getting up..."

O'Dell: "Eight. Nine. Ten! It's over! Seydoux counted out in 54 seconds! Your winner by KO1, Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"

McCarthy: "Check the replay on this right hook. Dennings in a bit of a crouch, ducks a right hand from Seydoux and LAUNCHES that right hook...twisting her body into it...BANG...right to the liver and Seydoux is down and out."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have Kat Dennings with me, and Kat, tell the fans where you learned that shovel hook from?"

Kat(smiling): "Oh, a little birdie taught me."

Tess: "Big win for you tonight. That's two in a row by knockout..."

Kat: "They're ALL big for me at this point, because I need work. And that's why I was glad to get the extra fight this year. I want to stay busy in 2013. Keep improving. Keep expanding that tool kit. And keep knocking arrogant blondes on their a**es!"

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