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18 January 2013 Title Ch Kaley Cuoco vs Yvonne Strahovski

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 2 months ago

Kaley Cuoco 04.jpg Yvonne Strahovski 12.jpg

UNIFIED LIGHTWEIGHT TITLE

Posted by simguy on January 18, 2013, 10:21 am

BEFORE: "Well I'm just going to say this," Yvonne says at podium, after giving Kaley a lengthy, speculative glance. "Kaley's looking fat." Cue crowd murmur; Kaley's jaw dropping. "To me, she looks fat. She's chubby. Even a little jowly. I don't see how she expects to go the distance with someone in Yvonne-Strahovski condition. To me, Kaley's a Winstead-level blonde - not an elite blonde, and certainly not a Great Blonde. She's a girl-next-door, and girls next door get trounced by serious women like me. And that's not boasting, that's just nature doing its thing, guys."

Kaley fuming, taken-aback: she wasn't expecting one of "those" press conferences. "I'm disappointed in Yvonne's attitude," Kaley says in rebuttal. "But hey - I'm happy to be a 'Winstead-level-blonde'. I wish I was FIGHTING Mary Elizabeth instead of this cow. But whatever...I may not be the most glamorous woman in boxing, but I've left a lot of glamorous rubble in my wake. Ask Jessica Biel if I rocked her world. Ask Missy Peregrym and Rachel Nichols. I'm plenty blonde enough for Snooty Strahovski here, and I think someone's going to learn a harsh lesson in this fight!"

Kaley in midnight blue bikini; hair up in back with ringlet bangs framing face; small pink gloves. Strahovski in metallic blue-grey bikini; small grey gloves; hair in high pony with bangs winging across her brow.

R1: VONNIE GOES DOWN! First punch Kaley a beaut...hands dangling as she looks to be in roaming-mode, then pouncing in on Vonnie's first jab, dropping a spell-binding right hand counter over top, dropping Straho to all fours at the open. Yvonne up, but staring/blinking in confusion...she takes 8 at the ropes: HERE COMES KALEY! Cuoco all business - pushing into Vonnie's chest, wrestling apart the raised guard, then going brawny-town on sleek Aussie torso. Kaley using top of her head to butt at Vonnie's breasts while fists pump-tummy; Kaley coming abruptly off the body to swipe at Vonnie's chin with either mitt, brushing tall blonde girl into ropes; Kaley reaching in again to wrestle apart that guard, reset herself on chest, and renew her gut-attack. Vonnie worked over, but stabilizing...down the stretch, she's competing in the pocket - pulling Cuoco's hands down; cuffing Cuoco little clouts to cheek inside; laying back into ropes to facilitate sneaky left uppercuts. Bell: girls still rubbin' and pumpin', beating each other's torsos via methodical, compact cuffs - ref has to physically break 'em apart.

R2: Vonnie regroups, shows her quality. She's pivoting-left off a STIFF left jab - really poking home the punch to make it hard to counter. Kaley flat-footed, bobbing low and rolling her torso as she stalks cautiously forward. Kaley attempting to leap up out of her crouch, but Yvonne's seen plenty of tape: long Aussie legs loping Vonnie back out of range, creating gaps for Kaley to jump into, then countering stiff, straight one-twos as Kaley's forced back onto the defensive. Classy legs and hands from Strahovski - drilling down on Kaley; one-twos pasting Cuoco's face shiny; punching her grumpy. Vonnie a machine, steppin' left in wide stance, lips pursed as she scrubs away on Cuoco-face from long distance. Down the stretch, she fits a quality straight right in between Kaley's mitts, CRACKING her on the chin and putting her wobbly-butt! Kaley staggering back all glassy-eyed and stunned...snarling Vonnie wading forward all blonde-avenger, looking to pile on. Healthy beating at the ropes for Kaley as she sits in cables, puts on the tight earmuffs, bobs in the pocket and takes a long-armed lashing from seething Yvonne. Bell: Vonnie teeth-bared, lost in Kaley hate - she's belting away hips-and-flanks on Cuoco until ref pulls limber Strahovski away. Kaley grumpy, clutching at her back and complaining of kidney work...ref's too busy escorting Straho to her corner to register the protest.

R3: Bitter hammer and tongs as tactical lines are drawn. Vonnie in set positions - back (right) heel up off canvas, dukes up...she's drilling away straight lefts and rights as Kaley attempts to weave her way inside; changing to earmuff as Kaley penetrates - keeping right hand at temple while left hand jerks little uppercuts to Cuoco-chin. Kaley pays the price, but once inside she's batting and swatting away to glory - shorter blonde girl a curvy-legged menace in the pocket - bobbing and rolling on the spot, clouting Vonnie to either cheek; bumping her a brawny left shoulder or chickenwinged left elbow; featuring the bolo right uppercut to breadbasket and a hook-to-breasts that's mostly forearm. Strahovski's long legs will disengage but not run: she's just creating space, forcing Kaley to run the gauntlet again. By the bell, Kaley's cut in her mouth, face well-scrubbed and shiny...Yvonne's managed to control the storm for points as girls exchange withering glares.

R4: Kaley pounce-step feinting - acting like she's going to jump in hot, then just bobbing instead. Yvonne wide-eyed, alert, pinging the jab, trying to get a read on Kaley's intentions. Minute mark, Cuoco sells the leaping lead right; bobs under the Strahovski jab; leaps in via swinging hook from the hip instead and HEAD-SWIVEL VONNIE! Yvonne leaning back when punch connects...she crashes to her back hurrrrt - arms reaching stiffly up and canting to her left, legs straight and twitching...IT'S OVER! Savage KO4 Kaley Cuoco leaves Yvonne Strahovski quivering in defeat!

AFter: Kaley snarling, pushing her way into Strahovski's corner, pulling a still woozy Glamour-Blonde off her stool and holding her close with fingers tugging Yvonne's bikini top. "I just wanted you to know," Kaley hisses into Yvonne's groggy, glassy-eyed face "how I could have walked you right now, and didn't. I'm not fat, I'm a LOOKOUT-assassin. Loser." Push-release sits Yvonne awkwardly down as Kaley storms back the way she came, collecting murderous dagger-glares from assembled LOOKOUT fighters.

"You look at the bodies I'm chalking up and tell me I'm not a dominant champion," Kaley seethes in postfight, eyes blazing. "Maybe I'm not a 'Great Blonde', but I'm sure as hell a girl who knocks Great Blondes on their ho-hum asses! I'm not just comedy-Kaley the girl on BBT: I'm a serious fighter with serious ambition. I want to dominate like no one has before me. I want the Biels, Peregryms and Strahovskis sure - they're necessary, but to be the kind of champ I want to be I want trophies like Serinda Swan and Gemma Arterton in my case too. And why stop there? Olivia Munn can make lightweight for me - that's a huge fight. Kate Beckinsale tried Jessica, why not me? And what about that Winstead girl? I'm saying there's not a girl under 130 that I can't beat, and when I'm done, I wanna look back and see that I left no girl untouched and untamed!"