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10 May 2013 Charlotte Church vs Elizabeth Olsen

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 11 months ago

Charlotte Church 03.jpg Elizabeth Olsen 01.jpg

Posted by simguy on May 10, 2013, 11:06 am,

BEFORE: "I was a bit of a brat when they told me I'd be fighting Church," Liz admits in prefight. "I was like, 'Why Char-Char? She's nobody. How does this help me, Liz Olsen?' and it was Charlize herself who set me straight. She's such an amazing role model, I mean - she can barely drive past a Hooters without stopping in and causing a rumpus. That's the kind of competitive spirit she has. So she told me: 'Charlotte Church is a woman who thinks she's better than you. You can't allow any woman to think that. Ever.' And the light went on, you know? It doesn't matter who Char-Char is: she's a girl who hasn't bent the knee to me yet. That's enough to get her butt whipped!"

"People said Olsen would be poison for me," Charlotte confides at podium. "Her ranginess, her supple style - people worried that I wouldn't look good against her. Let me tell you something: hard right hands on chins look good on everyone, every time. Yes, I see what she is - another bendy American, but I don't care. Hard punching solves all dilemmas. Liz won't be a mystery to me for long, and when I solve her, she'll be in pieces on the canvas!"

Liz in soft leopard print bra/tuggable black bottoms in velvet, with a couple of inches of hip; black gloves; long blonde hair straight/behind the ears. Charlotte in rainbow bandeau in pastel pinks/blues/whites; dark hair shower damp; white gloves.

During R1: Charlotte announcing herself directly - big, booming right hand crashing against Olsen's raised guard...blonde girl blocking the shot, but knocked off-stance as Church puts her back into a sledgehammer-swing early. Leads to back-foot boxing from Olsen as she's roaming to her right - blonde girl steering palm-down left hooks onto brunette chin, looking to clean up righty thereafter. Church brazenly forward - often struck clean to face, but walking through it, looking to hurl power. Church's right hands so raucous and heart-felt they set her own buns a-shuddering side to side on delivery...Olsen blocking the haymakers but thrown onto the defensive as Church crowds close on follow through. Inside, Church pumping Lizzie's tummy hup-hup-hup, then looking to wallop wide up top...rough-and-tumble brawling sees Olsen buffetted about the ring as she tries to box her rambunctious foe.

R2: Same from Church - all belly, buns, and jugs as she jiggle-slugs her way forward - looking to pile on and plow. Blonde girl leggy, pivoting gracefully 'round either brunette shoulder...Olsen starting to touch her foe from angles, slowly bringing Church to heel. Circular fighting midring in Lizzie's favour: one-twos nag Charlotte up top; swinging hooks land thickly in British flank; palm-down check-hooks off Lizzie's back (right) foot disrupt British advances.

R3: Same again - Church aggressive, but easily sidestepped and chipped away at. Liz concentrating, pumping the jab into Church's face or breasts; hooking Church's body off the front (left) leg; easing to back (right) leg to get the palm-down check hook, then looking to clean up righty. Charlotte scowling, crossing arms and bobbing on approach, but she's getting outclassed. Durable British legs take American power well, but Olsen starting to impose order on curvy brunette riot through 3.

R4: OLSEN GOES DOWN! Church gambling on one of those swinging overhand rights - she cashes in over Olsen's left jab, beating the Olsen right, sending Liz sprawling to her back. Olsen beats the count all goggle-eyed/wobbly-butt...hurtin' American pancaked into ropes after her 8 counter. Liz tying up loose around head/neck: Charlotte with right foot well back, PLOWING right hands again and again to stricken American tummy - huge, shoveling body-blows beating blonde buns up into ropes. Gurgling Liz eventually able to tie up for ref's break, but she's starting to crumble...she lopes to her left, issuing a plaintive check-jab as Church stomps forward to finish! Down the stretch - Olsen measuring with the jab, sliding back in her stance, bobbing on the spot...she times Church coming in, walking British chin into a super-short left hook and CHARLOTTE GOES DOWN! Char-Char hooked-and-dropped to her buns...it's HER turn to look all frazzled and butt-wobbly as she fights off the KO. Olsen wading in after the 8, issuing a strapping clean-up assault as Church sits in ropes to soak...willowy American girl earns herself a draw by coming off the deck like a champ!

R5: Liz looking to stick-and-pivot - rotating clockwise around her left leg - blonde girl still a little rattled, looking to calm things down in the fifth. Church marauding, slugging out of her crouch - she's all about curvy pressure, hunting Olsen all around the ring. Minute mark, Olsen attempting to walk Church into a clever right uppercut, eats a looping overhand right from Church instead and BLONDE GIRL DOWN! This time for keeps - Liz blown out on her feet, hitting the canvas all limp ragdoll on her back, hands flopping up above her head in repose. KO5 in bruising fashion, Charlotte Church.

AFter: Church overcomes Olsen's slick style with brute force...British girl beaming with vindication in postfight. "I told you hard punching solves all problems," Charlotte crows during in-ring standup. "Liz was a problem at first, but look at her now: SOLVED! I hit too hard for the American girls. They can sashay about and weave their spells, but sooner or later, CHURCHY'S DROPPING THE HAMMER BABIIIEEEE!"