Posted by Simguy on 7/1/2005, 9:45 am.

Before: Tough test for Milano—stepping up in weight and class , taking on the quickest, slickest bantam in boxing—Kelly licking her lips at the prospect of an Alyssa Milano turkey shoot. “It’s target practice for me,” smiles Hu, “all night long. I just plan to dominate, outclass Alyssa and really shine her up. Call it a love letter to my fans.” Milano recognizing the challenge—what’s she got up her sleeve for Kelly? “That would be telling,” demures the flyweight strongwoman, “but rest assured Kelly Hu is not going to just have her way with me. Before I became a slick boxer myself, I was a pretty ruff customer myself and I still know a thing or two about bumping girls like Kelly off their game.” Hu in black bikini, slick low ponytail—Alyssa in gold bikini, frosted blonde hair for the occasion.

During R1,2: Hu scowling, mounting darting attacks from all points on the compass: Milano just circling the wagons, crouching down behind a tight guard trying to time the Amazin’ Asian. Kel meanspirited tonight, feeling her oats—she’s leading right hands against Alyssa’s left eye, leading hooks and really biting ‘em hard in Milano’s generous rack. Mostly spitting, spiteful ones and twos from Kelly—much, much more jug mugging than she’s known for, deliberately torturing Milano with vicious in-out sorties.

R3: Classic Kelly Hu tearing it up on staggering, sputtering, wounded opposition. Hu streaking in on Milano with those savage lead rights, pivoting around ripping hooks—poor Alyssa just staring, gobbling clout on the face and breasts. Alyssa’s stout legs shaken again and again as Kel feints/scores right hands bingo on the teeth—stepping to the right to hook the taste out of Alyssa’s mouth, Kelly going chop-chop left/right to jug, mitts quick and vicious as they spank the mounds. Hu doubling up hooks—swat-swatting Milano’s face with awe-inspiring dexterity—crowd oohing and ahhing at the majestic, flowing quality of the moves. Punishing tarting up Milano leaves her shabby, wobbly butt wreck, but she takes every punch, doesn’t go down and she’s making defiant gestures at the bell as Kelly stalks scowling to her corner.

R4: Kelly easing up a little on the power—sees Alyssa’s taking the heat well, looks to bust up the smaller woman just a bit more. Closed stance Kelly—sharp, deft pivots and step-aways, Milano edges closer, Kelly pops a double jab ting/tang off the face, sidesteps while Alyssa’s still blinking. Kelly operating with hooks and jabs almost exclusively, finally turning on a slashing screened right on the mouth to ring Milano up. Alyssa stepping in fence post holes—face nice and puffy after 4 rounds of cold-blooded Kelly Hu sharpshooting.

R5: Closed stance Kelly, left hand low, right beneath her chin—she’s just stepping in and out, pivoting all around, completely in charge midring, Harsh, stabbing jab licks up off Kelly’s hip, finding Alyssa in the eyes and mouth—peppering sand pestering her as Hu steps around. Hu hooking while swing-pivoting left—abrupt, ripping punches tear at Alyssa’s jugs, setting that world-class rack a-jumping. Kell getting those exquisite, darting right hands from the screen, treating herself to Alyssa’s face or on occasion, dipping and ripping up into Milano’s form underbelly from in close. Alyssa not getting off—just following Kelly around and catching through 5.

R6: Kelly Hu among boxing’s cruelest fighters—you can see it in her darkling eyes as she circles, picks, pecks and drifts away at what’s left of Alyssa. Milano grim, surprisingly determined—she’s still crossing her arms, bobbing and weaving forward, but she can’t slip Kelly’s eerily accurate punching. Hu commanding distance, scoring with either hand, leading with power shots—if only she’s stand in there and put the 4^th, 5th punch together in sequence, she could get Alyssa out of there.

R7: Alyssa bends low under a slick Hu one-two—both girls answer back hooks and KELLY GETS HURT! Complacency, arrogance betray supremely confident Hu—she stamps away with how-could-you eyes, trying to rally her jiggling backside and quivering thighs. Milano trudging forward: right hand swung sidearm to breadbasket; left upside the heads; right clouting wide to jaw—Kelly’s banged back to ropes.  Hu pointing her left shoulder at Alyssa, right hand up to parry—Kelly bending at the waist, easing into and out of the ropes, slipping punches: Milano banging the body both hands, hammering at hip and buttock, digging up golden brown paunch. Not much back from Hu=--she’s grimacing, just trying to blunt the incoming as pesky Alyssa bangs out her first points., CHEAP LATE HOOK ON THE CHIN scatters Hu into ropes—Alyssa showing plenty of brass, still feisty despite the punishment—ref pushes her off as Kelly looks wide-eyed, concerned at the bell.

R8: Alyssa swarming Hu now, wading through the jab, clubbing away both hands and swamping that hi-tech defense. Hu bum-rushed to ropes overs up face-in-gloves: Alyssa treats herself to all things Kelly with robust shove-sand-slug. Milano in close, reaching down Hu’s body to hook behind her elbow, swab those kidneys, pushing up on Kelly and jostling her. Nice snap-and-retract on these punches—Milano well aware of Hu’s counterpunching ability--Alyssa getting off, covering up, staying responsible as she bangs away in front of a cringing Hu,. Seconds left and HU TAKES A KNEE! Kelly blubbering, throbbing-bodied—she waits out the clock on bended knee, earning scornful taunts from Alyssa as ref pushes the little fireplug back.

R9: Kelly back to rotating, quick-mitted one-twos--but not committing on the shots; she wantgs to keep Alyssa at bay, outside and harmless. Milano bobbing, weaving, but having trouble locating Kelly—Hu running the clock like a pro with those wonderful legs.

R10: Milano does what she has to do—bobs in close, hooks the bejesus out of Kelly’s trunks, reaches in under Hu’s  arms to body the crippled cutey into ropes. Mugging, mauling,. Headscrubbing, brawl develops—Milano climbing inty Kelly’s trunks and hitting her with every punch in the book. Poor Hu constantly shoved and bullied when she’s not being belted—Milano stuffing rights to breadbasket, Charlie horsing Kelly on her thighs, hooking trunk without remorse—it’s desperate late bid by a very competitive Alyssa Milano tonight. Kelly weepy, but together enough to ride it out—slipping and twisting oily against the ropes, clinching for breaks and disrupting a raging Milano throughout. Comer back UD10 Kelly Hu, but not without some trepidation.

After: Scuffed up Hu leaves the ring in a hurry—Milano’s gangster tactics and unexpected heart unsettling the former multi-time champ who had expected cake tonight. Milano outclassed but veteran enough to make it a brawl late—she earns praise from pundits who liked her fire, will to win against long odds tonight.

Reposted by Archer 5/26/13.