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14 May 2013 Catherine Bell vs Kelly LeBrock

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

 

Catherine Bell 06.jpgKelly LeBrock 02.jpg

 

 

 

Posted by Archer on May 14, 2013, 1:46 pm

 

Retro Bout Ca. 2004 by Jac Fac

Hollywood was stunned and in 'shock and awe' after the hammering Kelly LeBrock had given ingénue Lindsay Lohan. The younger crowd had retreated from the outdoor coffee bars in embarrassment since 'Granny' dispatched their so called "big hitter" so easily. Kelly LeBrock, in contrast, was strutting her stuff all over town which hadn't sat well with Tippi Hedren who was forever trying to concoct schemes to get Kelly's butt thrashed. Tippi's biggest delight had been when Diane Lane had taken Kelly's measure but Kelly was out to avenge that defeat.
Kelly had been doing lots of sparring with 'Downtown' Julie Brown. By taking on this 'hard core' gal Kelly had sharpened her jabbing skills greatly. In one three round session she'd floored Julie twice and they'd really gotten into a slugfest that had to be broken up. Still, Julie was grateful for the competition and retained Kelly. One night they were out for cocktails when Cat Bell stopped by their table.

"Hey slugger, how ya doing?" said Cat.

Kelly wasn't the biggest Cat fan and was barely cordial. "Pretty good actually!" was her reply.

"You know," said Cat. "You're lucky I retired or you'd have probably been finished even before the second Griffith fiasco."

Cat was referring to the two solid wipeouts Kelly had over Melanie Griffith. Julie jumped in, "Naomi knocked your old ass cold, then dragged you around in your USMC bikini briefs, so don't go sounding off on my pal here. Fact is Bell, you better get your dumb chicken-shit ass the hell outta here before somebody kicks it out!!"

"You can't make me leave," said Cat, warily backing off to make room to swing if need be.

"You know, liver lips; I'd love to take a crack at your wise puss," said Kelly. "Then maybe I could drag your beaten ass around the ring too!"

"Let's bring it on…if you think you're woman enough!" replied Cat.

Two weeks later, they met in Chicago. Cat comes out looking stunning in a small green bikini. Kelly was in her trademark red thong. Kelly is the older woman, but she really blows the audience away with her long legs which do something few women can; take people's eyes off of Cat's "rack!" The guest referee is 50's fight legend Mitzi Gaynor, back in her hometown; 'Downtown' Julie Brown is in Kelly's corner while Charlize Theron is seconding her old nemesis Cat.

ROUND ONE: Kelly's jabs are ferocious. She slams Cat's head back repeatedly with quick staccato shots. Then she drives a jackhammer left hook into Cat's middle. Cat bends and moans in pain. "Gonna kill your ass you phony contrived Gyrene colonel," snarls Kelly. She relentlessly connects with Cat's face which is swelling early on. "You should have stayed retired!" continues Kelly with her cool British style. "I'm going to make it official tonight!" Kelly is ablaze as she returns to her corner having had her way with Cat in round one.

ROUND TWO: Cat has been told to get moving or throw in the towel and she delivers good combinations to Kelly's jaw that make the redhead's legs buckle. Cat pounds Kelly again with wicked body shots that crumple the older gal before Cat unloads with a brutal right uppercut. LeBrock FALLS on her ass as the crowd roars! Kelly is back up, although somewhat glassy-eyed and hurt. She backpedals for a few seconds, then as Cat chases her, Kelly catches the brunette with a solid right cross that swivels Cat's head sideways, sending sweat flying. Then LeBrock fires several jabs to Cat's eyes which worsen the swelling around her eyes and brings blood from her nose. Slight edge to Cat this round.

ROUND THREE: Kelly is using the ring and not letting Cat cut it off. She continues the jab assault and Cat's left eye is now almost closed. Cat MUST get Kelly now or she's in trouble. Cat gambles by attempting to slug it out in the middle of the ring with LeBrock. This is the worse thing she could have done. Kelly move away from Cat's blinded eye and continually hammers the now helpless Bell. Cat is growing very arm weary. "Finish her Kelly!" screams 'Downtown' from her corner. Kelly goes into 'overdrive' with speed-bag walloping of Cat's bulging bra, then another big right cross to the jaw! 'Colonel McKenzie' is almost out on her feet as she totters toward Kelly who unleashes a 'haymaker' roundhouse right. Cat's fabulous legs fold as she drops to her knees, gloves on the mat, looking up at a smiling 'Killer Kelly'.

"You got me," Cat murmurs just before she topples over, slamming to the mat tits-first, then lays still.

Once again, Cat Bell's fabulous body is subjected to humiliation as, this time Kelly LeBrock treats herself to a 'victory drag' of Cat's bare and beaten ass which she shows to the patrons on all four sides of the ring. Kelly has battered Cat into retirement - again! 'Downtown' Julie climbs into the ring to hoist her sparring pal into the air while an embarrassed Charlize Theron slinks away with Mitzi, leaving Cat's unconscious body in the ring and at the 'post-match' mercy of the victor and her evil minions. Naomi is next up on Kelly's agenda..

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