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21 June 2013 Taylor Swift vs Katy Perry

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Taylor Swift 03.jpg Katy Perry 04.jpg

Posted by simguy on June 21, 2013, 1:40 am

BEFORE: Swift taking podium with a mischievous grin, asking: "You guys wanna see my Katy Perry imitation? Hey?" Taylor lifts her fists into a relaxed stance, then COLLAPSES IN A HEAP ON THE FLOOR, TONGUE LOLLING OUT THE SIDE OF HER MOUTH! Cue guffaws from press-row - Taylor pretending to be out on her back, but smiling - oh, she's a little brat as Katy's FUMING at the comedy. "Katy's damaged goods," Taylor gloats upon resumption. "Girls get hurt like Katy got hurt against Gwyneth, and they never recover. Plus legs beat jugs - everybody knows that...I'm gonna put it on Katy in this fight guys - just watch!"

Perry scowling in rebuttal. "Haw. Haw. Super-funny Taylor. FIRST of all: I got caught lucky by Gwyneth. IT HAPPENS! I was good right away and could have fought again that night, so you guys better stop the gossip-train right here. I'm good; Taylor's getting hurt; there's your story. TAYLOR'S GETTING HURT!"

Swift in baby blue bikini; blonde hair in fighting Dutch braid; white gloves. Katy with brunette hair loose; neon green bikini; neon orange gloves.

During R1: TAYLOR'S HURT! Katy wading into Swift and HURLING in the leather - brunette pitchin' punches with Christy-Martin commitment. Heavy left shakes Taylor to waist; sweeping right crashes in behind left ear...she's stepping in fence-post-holes, eyes a-goggle...ref bodies Katy away in a moment of confusion, then lets it go when he sees Swift doesn't actually go down. PERRY BELTS AWAY TO GLORY! Katy snarling, loading up the wallop...Taylor battered round the ring/along the ropes as Perry summons power from her curves. Katy's jugs a-sloshing side to side as she stalks wilting Taylor; Katy's face pinched with righteous anger...she gives Taylor Swift a turrible beating, miraculously not ending in a stoppage or knockdown, but earning brunette an angry 10-8 regardless. En route to corner, Swift blinking in confusion, stepping wrong, listing hard to port...her guys go to work like a Nascar crew during the break.

R2: Taylor shows some conditioning - hurt, rocked, but gathering herself to jab at the open. Swift trying to stay tall, feeding poke to Katy; dropping in pitty-pat one-twos to Katy's jugs, keeping Perry away for a minute. Eventually Katy realizes she's not getting hurt - she puts her back into swinging over hand rights to head/torrid lefts to ribs, belting Swift out of her stance, restarting blonde collapse. Taylor with a gobsmacked, shell-shocked look as her legs buckle, tipping her around the ring. Katy grunting as she throws - giving Taylor's all she's got with big healthy cuts. Swift's reeling retreat helps her avoid devastation, but she's getting blown around the ring by surging Katy through 2.

R3: Crowd chant: "Ka-ty Per-ry (clap clap clapclapclap)" Perry pouring forward, twisting herself into heartfelt rights and lefts. Katy mouthbreathing, not managing her energy - she's driving Taylor before her, but it's a sloppy onslaught, juuust missing sweet-spots on Taylor. Swift staggering in retreat, bouncing off ropes - sometimes breaking into little trot-steps, trying to organize herself. Taylor attempting to swamp Katy with long-armed clinches, but Perry too violent...curvy brunette churning her shoulders/arms, writhing hands-free, then clubbing away until she's got Taylor stumbling away in confusion.

R4: Crowd chant: "Let's go Tay-lor (clap clap clapclapclap)!" Swift collecting what she's got left, showing the jab, keeping right at cheek while she deals, pivots clockwise around poke. Katy taking pate-punches - crouching on approach, then lunging for Swift...long blonde girl able to leg out of range early, but as round progresses, Perry's pouncing into range. Great, thumping contact made on Taylor's flanks as Katy hurls home the hurt...Swift's face cramped, elbows cringing down as she simply can't get her way. Taylor's clinching stalls Katy's onslaught in spots - making Perry work, but it's Katy's fourth straight round.

R5: Taylor keeping it simple: pumping-poke from the shoulder; dropping in tepid one-twos PAK PAK to jug; hopping and pivoting to her left. Katy gassed, mouth open, hands on hips occasionally when she's walking Taylor down - lifting mitts to block when in range. Slower pace allows Taylor to think, get her legs back...she's not doing a lot of damage, but she's getting her distance, keeping Katy covered up, spanking away on jug just enough to get judges to nod in appreciation.

R6: Shutout Taylor Swift! What's happening to Katy? Perry frowning, frustrated - hands on hips signaling how tired she is; hunching earmuff when in range, letting Taylor get off. Swift spanking away on Katy's raised guard left/right/left, then blonde girl hovers close, curling little right hands into Katy's leftside lats! Pesky, slapping stuff, but it's busy Taylor-on-Katy work...Perry just covering up to take, then walking Swift down once Taylor circles-out. Break: Katy crossing arms as she's sitting on her stool, pouting, pissed...trainer working hard to put puzzle-pieces together in that volatile noggin through 6.

R7: Katy rediscovers the violence - really bending into sweeping haymakers, but she's missing early as Swift steps-out, circles, then stitches back in with a pushy, but long and troublesome jab. Down the stretch, Perry FINALLY connects thick with a sweeping left to ribcage, followed by that crashing right to ear...THERE GO TAYLOR'S LEGS! Swift stumbling about hands-down, eyes glassy, knees buckle-bending then locking straight...she's a mess, but she doesn't go down. Perry too excited, missing the target with follow up wallops...scattershot approach sweeps Taylor to ropes where she can keep her feet, make it to bell!

R8: Taylor plucky, but oh-so hurt: Swift mitts-at-mouth off her stool, placing her feet like a drunk trying to fool cops. ON COMES KATY! Perry catching a second wind, teeth bared - she misses her first zany blockbusters to head, but swings her way close...pretty soon she's burying left hands wide to ribs/crashing rights upside Taylor's head and DOWN GOES SWIFTY! Artless bludgeoning sweeps Taylor to her belly as her legs lock up...she's a frazzled beauty, trying to push up off her chest, but her legs're numb...she's all helpless and adorable as arms fail to support her weight. KO8 Katy Perry.

After: Perry frowning down at Taylor while circling the wreckage...Katy obviously taking Swift's pre-fight antics to heart, making a statement tonight. "I could have stopped her in the first, but I wanted her to hurt," Katy explains in postfight. "She's so funny mocking other people - here's Taylor!" (Katy putting hands together under right cheek, pretending to sleep standing up) "Not so funny now, right? Taylor just needs to shut up and take her beatings!"