Retro Bout Ca, 2004 Story by Jac Fac

After the fight in which Catherine Zeta Jones wipeout of Naomi Campbell, a good-size crowd had gathered at an L.A. restaurant for some celebatory drinks. Among those gathered were Sue Bird and Elizabeth Berkley. Elizabeth had started out by taunting Sue about her loss to Naomi awhile back and how the story had gotten around that Sue had been beaten senseless and left on Naomi's gym canvas ring floor. This business was getting to Sue big time. Who the hell was some upstart half-ass actress like this one to rank on her anyway? Sue had won two NCAA titles in college on the UConn basketball team and was now a respected guard in the WNBA with the Seattle Storm. Suddenly Sue found herself shoving Elizabeth hard against the bar. They had to be separated but the group could see the 'bad blood' boiling between these two.

"Listen you basketball marvel," chortled Elizabeth. "I'll face you anytime you want. I'm so NOT intimidated by your pro basketball credentials. We're on even footing here."

Sue begged to differ and laughed at Elizabeth's bravado. Still she felt a little bit apprehensive seeing the confidence in Elizabeth's eyes. "Let's make it next week up in Seattle," said Sue. "We'll fight before the home game I have that night. They'll set up a ring so I can knock your skinny ass out and they can play the knockout on the big screen during the halftime."

Elizabeth's eyes flashed, "We'll just see whose ass gets knocked out, big mouth!"

The next week they were in a makeshift ring hurriedly erected on the Seattle basketball floor. Elizabeth had on her 'Showgirls' outfit which consisted of a g-string. It really had the crowd turned on! Sue was in (comparatively) modest bikini brief which read, 'Stormin Sue' on the hip.

ROUND ONE
The first round began and Elizabeth landed some fast left jabs to Sue's face. Elizabeth was faster on her feet than Sue bargained for. Sue fell for a fake with Elizabeth's left and caught with a right squarely to the jaw and went down like she�d been shot. The showbiz crowd in attendance went nuts and the crowd was getting behind Elizabeth. Sue was up at five but a little groggy. This gal could hit and was quick. Elizabeth continued her advantage with a vicious left/right to the body and Sue buckled. Another right followed and Sue was on her ass as the place went berserk. An upset might be in the making but the bell saved Sue. She went back to her corner where Sue Anne Langdon awaited her. "Stick and move," implored Sue Anne. "She's good so watch it!'

ROUND TWO
With the first round hers, Elizabeth vaulted right out there where she tasted that good right cross of Sue's. She stumbled back a little. Sue then lashed her with several hard lefts both jabs and hooks, then Sue drove a massive right to Elizabeth's jaw and Berkley fell backward into the ropes. It was her turn to be groggy and dazed. Sue thrust her arms upwards as Elizabeth fell to get her opponent unnerved. It didn't work. Elizabeth fired back hard with body shots and Sue was wincing. They were in the center of the ring slugging it out with Sue getting the better of it as her athleticism was starting to show.

ROUND THREE
Third round with the fight all even and Sue is now boring in and letting it all hang out. Elizabeth is sputtering from the punishment as she can't seem to follow up whatever damage she's caused Sue. Now Sue is drilling her with one body shot after the other. Elizabeth back pedals but Sue is after her with a fighter's killer instinct. Sue scores a major right to Elizabeth's jaw and Elizabeth�s knees unhinge and she�s dropped like a bad habit. She struggled to get up but Liz is looking at Sue with pleading eyes.

"Let me off the hook Sue," she whined. "You're the winner. I give up."

But the roar of the crowd drowns out her plea and Sue hammers the 'Showgirl ' mercilessly to the deck for the third and final time. Elizabeth's body lies motionless with her left arm extended above her head and the right at her side. The loyal Seattle Storm fans roar their approval for the great comeback Sue had managed. Elizabeth's senseless form is dragged away but not before Sue can whip down her panties and spank her bare butt until it's good and red. The showbiz crowd is disheartened by the ultimate beating Elizabeth took at Sue's hands as the pro athlete has prevailed overwhelmingly. The showbiz types start looking for a 'Bird Hunter', someone big and tough enough to cage this Bird! Who will they choose?