Posted by Simguy on 5/20.2005, 9:19 pm.

Before: Kaley on the scales in white camisole and panties—Cameron shoos the attendant away to weigh Cuoco herself! Cameron shaking her heads, hamming it up as though Cuoco’s some kind of whale—even pinching flesh at the hip, clucking her tongue to chastise Kaley. “looks like somebody’s trying to EAT their way into the division!” Cameron quips. Cuoco keeps an even keel: shells been the butt of Diaz jokes for weeks leading up., coming into the fight a sizeable underdog, but Kaley’/s a woman on a mission, “I don’t care what she says—Cameron Diaz is vulnerable right now. She hasn’t been active; she’s distracted; she’s physically fit but I think she goes into her fights without a game plan, Make no mistake—I’m not just here to bask in the glow of Cameron’s  celebrity: I’m here to pound out a toe hold at lightweight. Diaz is ripe for the pickings!” Cameron underscoring her lack of respect for Kaley by entering a surfing contest the morning of the fight—“I won’t get the work I need from Cuoco,” shrugs the cocky blonde. Diaz in white Angels bikini—Cuoco in white lace push bra, shades of blue splash print bikini bottom, tie side.

During R1: Diaz hands low, shimmying her shoulder, using her kegs—she’ll dance to her right, drop a tidy left/right onto Kaley, following through with both hands low, then coming back a rich, rising left, Diaz drawing early barks of reproof from ref for backhanding her jab—she’s just flicking it out there, pestering Cuoco. Kaley chin-tucked, adopting more of a slugging posture special for this fight—she’s punching her jab to Cameron’s chest to locate elusive Diaz, establish range. Midway through, Kaley ducks and covers as Diaz slashes that bandy-armed one-two—Cam backing straight up, hands down and Cuoco CLOCKS her a jump-in left hook on the chops! Diaz scattered wide-eyed to the ropes, covers up lithe: hands on face, leaning her torso with cutie-intentions. Cuoco not cooperating—she ignores the head like a pro, pounding Diaz’s slender ribs instead, Good brawny work from Kaley, really digging that hook in over Cam’s hip, crowding in close with a tanned shoulder in Diaz’s chest—different look from Cuoco as she turns hard-working body banger to punish Cameron in the first.

R2: Cameron mouth breathing already: oh those body punches! Diaz flat footed, luring Cuoco to ropes: Cameron leaning forward. Dangling her left mitt, right cocked at her chest in a coiled, closed stance. Cuoco approaching off Diaz’s left shoulder, dukes at her eyebrows—she digs in, squares up tuff—bumping and jostling with her guard before getting back to that ribcage. Kaley flat footed, banging out the minutes—she’s in nice n’ tight, belting away hip, back, belly and ribs, bashing away as Cameron presents her left side Diaz listless, lounging on ropes or in her corner. Occasionally, she’ll dip to the left and lick one of those snapping, eye-catching hooks off Kaley’s midsection, but the volley of clubbing Cuoco leather in response more than compensates, Cuoco pounding the muscular arms and shoulders of her foe, applying a full body rub-won to wiry Cam—Diaz emerges rattled, virtually shutout in the second.

R3: Cameron dances for a minute, backhanding her jab, bouncing prettily off the ropes, but Kaley’s cutting off the ring well, touching Diaz the jab and walking her down. The moment Diaz buttocks touch ropes—Kaley’s pounding her in the side a thudding right hand, crowding in with her head and gloves on Cameron’s chest, muscling her upright, Diaz cramped, uncomfortable—she’s pulling Kaley’s head down, trying to toe up Cuoco’s rounded arms—job of work for Cuoco to push and struggle for slugging room. Boggy third—Diaz not doing much offensively, but grabbing and mauling to slow, if not stop the Cuoco Express in the third. Pundits buzzing--young underdog’s just taken her third straight round, clearly has Diaz on her heels.

R4: Kaley puts it on Cameron hard this round. More of the same—good stalking pressure to put Diaz ropeside, then when Cam covers up cute: Kaley hammers boy with bad intentions. Cameron visibly wilting now, butt-on ropes, left hand cupped around the back of Cuoco’s head, right held tight at chest—meanwhile Kaley’s working, Cuoco shirt n’ tart to the left side of Cam—bludgeoning blows to ribs and hip, working underneath Cam’s extended left arm. Diaz open-mouthed, glassy eyed—she’s shopworn, haggard, confused and she just can’t get the younger blonde off her chest. Cuoco growing in confidence—late the round she’s pushing Diaz off with both hands, then walloping her freeswinging lefts and rights to the flanks, punching without fear of reprisal, Bell: Diaz ashen-faced, mouth open, eyes hollow—Kaley’s taking her out back to the woodshed tonight.

R5: More Kaley, waves of Kaley—too much Kaley for poor Cameron Diaz tonight. Tough to watch—many in the audience have thrilled to Diaz’s exploits in the ring throughout the years—this thing has all the earmarks if a shot (though still relatively young) Veteran being put out to pasture by a younger, hungrier vixen who still has something to prove. Cuoco can’t be held back, feels too strong now—she’s pouring herself at Cameron, hounding her all around the ring, swinging over-aggressively as Diaz retreats because Cameron hasn’t got the artillery left ti take advantage. Diaz spending all her time in tired, slouching crouches, suffering in mute astonishment as Kaley belts away arms, ribs, hips, waist back, When Cameron moves away, she isn’t the elegant dancer we’re accustomed to—she’s shabby, stiff, sore, thoroughly beat-down woman who just wants room to breath. Kaley not in a charitable mood, constantly hopping-to, reasserting herself, always pushing at Cameron, touching her and bodying her before smashing away at what’s left. Withering, non-stop barrage batters Diaz along the ropes late the round—sickening sight as Cameron wiiiiilts to all fours, panting in defeat, Cam Diaz sits back on her haunches, hugging her battered rib cage as tears flow—she refuses the ref with a sad shaking of her head—KO5 in stunning fashion, Kaley Cuoco!

After: Huge upset—Cam Diaz with the pedigree coming in, the length, the speed and skills—Kaley Cuoco unveiling a completely new pressure-fighting look to combat Diaz’s mobility tonight. Cameron shuddering on her stool, hugging her ribs and bawling—months of frustration coming to a head as formerly feared vixen must surely be the worst-managed A-list star in boxing, Celebration in BSE corner—Cuoco stepping up in a grand fashion, getting pounded on the back and hugged--she’s thrilled with the results. “Jenny and Charisma hammered it into me that boxing Cameron tonight, trying to match potshots with her wasn’t going to work,: gushes Kaley in postfight, “We knew she couldn’t hurt me with one shot—she was going to have to put punches together, so I could afford to close on her and make it work,” gushes Kaley in postfight. “We knew she couldn’t hurt me with one shot—she was going to have to put punches together, so I could afford to close on her and make her work. She just didn’t want me inside—not at all—I mean, once I walked her down, it was EASY to work her over. I love this style—I mean—I love using the ring and setting girls up for single shot bombs too, but this was great: settling in on a girl’s chest and breaking her down. Now I know what Jen’s always talking about! As long as I live, I’ll never forget I made Cameron Diaz quit!” Ouch Kaley—ease up: poor Cameron’s got to read that stuff in the coming days and weeks.

Reposted by Archer 7/14/13.