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30 June 2013 AHW Tag Team Ellison and McCarthy vs Beckinsale and Dormer

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 9 months ago

Jennifer Ellison 03.jpg Jenny McCarthy 09.jpg

JENNIFER ELLISON JENNY MCCARTHY

VERSUS

KATE BECKINSALE NATALIE DORMER

Kate Beckinsale 05.jpg Natalie Dormer 04.jpg

Posted by Rampant Fighting on June 30, 2013, 4:52 pm

The view from the top floor - Jenny McCarthy & Jennifer Ellison v Kate Beckinsale & Natalie Dormer

So maybe the 90’s really are coming back this time. The Backstreet Boys are out on tour, Hollywood is preparing to despoil another memory by remaking the magnificent Point Break, and last weekend in New York City the original brawling blonde Jenny Mac was lured out of retirement to take on old rival Katie Becks in a tag team match that proved to be a rambunctious, if ultimately predictable occasion. Her partner was another Jen, British slugger Jennifer Ellison, once known principally for a pair of breasts so large that they stretch credulity as much as they do undergarments, but whose profile has taken off after stopping Britney at the last PPV. Teaming with Beckinsale was yet another Brit fled the nest, this one notable Kate-hater Natalie Dormer, in a marriage that from the outside seemed based more on convenience than durability. Visually this was a fight with something to satisfy every taste; ageless Kate looked as gym honed and beautiful as ever, and Natalie played the tousle-haired temptress with her usual aplomb. On the other side Ellison’s yellow bra was a triumph of engineering every bit the equal of the Hoover Dam, and while Mac was less busty – who isn’t – the veteran Playmate is still taut and toned and possessed of a grin full of mischief.

The two teams started out Ellison versus Dormer, and it didn’t require a clairvoyant or even a basic knowledge of strategy to see where things were headed as Nat danced away from Jen’s charging rhino impersonations, each step taking them closer to the part of the room where Beckinsale stood, waiting. A word and a smirk and an angry leap forward later the trap was sprung, with Kate grabbing twin handfuls of long blonde hair and dragging an unsuspecting Ellison down to the carpet and into the dangers of the double team. Seemingly not one to suffer in silence, Jen shrieked and cried in a most undignified fashion as her countrywomen worked her over. Most of the time it was Kate holding her in place for Natalie to inflict the punishment, but once they considered her sufficiently docile the two Brits went at their prey in tandem, slapping pink streaks across Jen’s golden brown tummy, pressing their palms against her airways and grinning as she convulsed with photogenic panic, digging their fingers into those spectacular breasts until the knuckles turned white. A nadir of sorts was reached with Jen on her feet in between her tormenters, being spun in a stumbling circle by cracking backhanders across the face while people in the crowd took out their phones and asked would it please be possible to bring their dinner reservations forward?

Escape came courtesy of a pair of errors charged to Nat and Kate, though most of the credit goes to Jenny Mac, who was able to engage Kate in a shouting match from the other side of the room. With Natalie yelling at Kate, and Jenny and Kate yelling at each other, Ellison managed to wipe away the tears and gather herself for a single stumbling run to safety. Suddenly we had ourselves a ball game. In restaurants across the city maître d’s cursed as plans were changed once again. Partners changed too, and the difference in intra-team harmony was more obvious than ever. Jenny tagged out Jen with an encouraging slap on the ass, but a furious Natalie just jabbed her extended finger hard into Beckinsale’s tit.

JMac versus Kate in an expensive apartment? No different to JMac versus Kate in a boxing ring. Probably no different to JMac versus Kate in a rainy alleyway after kicking out time, either. From the off Mac went at that flat Beckinsale tummy like it advocated vaccination; her up-tempo brawling style might have seemed out of place in a room where even the light fittings were individually insured and imported from Italy, but it was so effective in keeping Kate off balance. She shoved Kate hard into walls, fitting her forearm in under Kate’s chin to position her for the belly pounding. Soon Becks was dishevelled, spitting hair from her mouth, protesting about fouls and rough treatment and simply the intolerable presence of Jenny Mac in her face. Thoughts turned to Kate’s partner. There was every bit as much conflict in Natalie’s expression as there was on the carpet. Which did she prefer; seeing Kate suffer, or winning the fight?

We got our answer soon enough. A desperation knee from Becks that landed well south of the equator left Mac clutching her crotch on the carpet and there was Nat reaching out to make the tag. As a punished Kate limped back into home territory it seemed the fragile alliance still endured.

Maybe we’d done them an injustice? It wouldn’t be the first time that two rivals had teamed together temporarily, wouldn’t be the first time they’d won, either. Or maybe Natalie was just as dumb as we were, because Kate kept on walking out through the crowd and all the way to the door, pausing there for a moment to see the dawning fury on the faces of Natalie and Jenny, before waving them goodbye with the smuggest of smiles. Treachery, all wrapped up in a pretty package.

Natalie made the two blondes suffer for their win, used every weapon in her formidable arsenal and even had Ellison weeping from a cruelly applied belly claw, but you knew it was over. You probably could have made a good guess at how it would end, too. Vindication came for Jen as she pulled Dormer’s face down into her remarkable breasts, leaning back with her butt against the wall and her arms folded behind Nat’s head. There would be no escape. Natalie’s hands were trapped between them, pushing at Jen’s heaving belly, trying vainly to create a space where she could breathe. But if Ellison had been ponderous out on the floor, few women looked more natural smothering a girl out, and soon Natalie was deadweight in her grasp. Not that it meant things were over.

The two Jenny's passed Natalie back and forth between them like the last cigarette in the pack, slapping her face to bring her round mumbling and confused, then wrapping her back up in a sweaty embrace until her grip loosened and her hands fell softly to the carpet. On and on it went. Only when Kate came back into the room, showered and glowing and grinning at what she had created, did they let Natalie go. And so a betrayal that had seemed inevitable came to pass, and a beautiful blonde slept it off on the carpet.

****

Someone had torn out the article and taped it to the door of Natalie's locker. She started to tear it down and then stopped. She thought of the old proverb; fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. She reached out and smoothed the paper flat against the metal locker.

(Some feisty chat on the board recently! Usually I don't like including managed fighters in my stuff, especially without asking permission, but when this match was mentioned a few days ago there seemed plenty of enthusiasm so I decided to chance it. If this isn't to your liking then hopefully it's easy enough to ignore, and I did at least end things with Natalie losing!)