"Bar Hits the Beach"

Posted by OddManOut/Sim results on July 28, 2013, 10:52 am

Before: It’s been a summer of large formal events on the beach. Between the two stable wars and the upcoming Boiling Point event, it’s easy to miss the more traditional single boxing on the beach matches. Two starlets meet by chance, and have an impromptu bout. A fighter stake out turf, and challenges any comers. Or what we have here. A wannabe tracks down an established fighter who looks vulnerable, and tries to make a name for herself.

Since the demise of Tech Unlimited, Bar Rafaeli has given good fighters good fights, but the chips keep coming down against her, leaving her with an 0-4 record. Eager to break into the American scene, former Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitley is poised to make a statement on a fighter that conventional wisdom says is on her way out.

Ringposts set directly on sand, close enough to the water’s edge that many spectators opt to beat the heat by standing out in the surf, most notably Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Rosie’s fellow Beach Bunny model Kate Upton.

Green and white checkerboard bikini for Bar, hair wet and wind-blown stringy wild, white gloves and barefoot. Rosie in white bikini with red ties on the hips and betwixt jugs, white gloves. Bar and the ref share a look when they notice she’s in white boxing shoes, but neither one says anything.

R1: Rosie’s first time on sand, and it shows. The smaller gal tries to imitate Holly V and many another Aussie knife fighter by holding her fire on approach, slipping the bigger girl’s jab and coming up with combinations on the counter, but the uncertain footing is messing up her timing something fierce. Bar’s able to light her up with heavy jabs as she comes in, and while RHW’s boxing shoes don’t provide much traction on sand, barefoot Rafaeli can splay her toes at the end of her pivot to dig her toes in and put a little something extra on her followup hooks. Brit gets lit up again & again as the exotic beauty posts the shutout.

R2: Rosie has her shoes taken off in the interval, getting more power on her punches while making it easier to roll with receipts. RHW actually has the faster hands, and she’s competitive at arm’s length for much of the round. In the final minute, Bar’s able to make it through Rosie’s perimeter, muscle her onto the ropes and bang out the points late.

R3: Rosie’s eschewing subtlety. Girls jab to close, set up shoulder to shoulder, trading at close quarters. For the first time in the fight, a two-way trade in hooks, stomachs and breasts soundly thumped both ways. Little right uppercuts exchanged in tight, chins get clipped, then the winner will step in with the hook, backing the other woman up. Jugs are mugged, both girls taking the opportunity to strap away at the offending rack. Late in the round a full on Cauldron forms: lusty, rising right hands to rack & ribs, left hands riding behind the opponent’s neck to pull her into the hurt. Both girls blinking back tears after 3 minutes of heartless, digging work, Rosie fighting her heart out, but Bar backing her up more consistently, just getting the better of this kind of fight.

R4: Coming right at her didn't work, Rosie gets cute again, ducks Bar’s opening jabs, comes up on the inside with a left uppercut, Rafaeli wraps her up with the left arm and punches her square in the back a mean right hand. Ref breakss ‘em, RHW wincing. Bar immediately over to the offense jabbing at Rosie’s face, backing her up. Brit reeling to the ropes, wheeling to the left and Rafaeli SMOKES her flush on the jaw. ROSIE’S ROCKED! RHW stabilizing herself at the ropes, Bar edges in close, pulls a vicious right/left onto Rosie’s straining tummy and championship-calibre butt sinks hurt into the ropes! Rafaeli getting all big-girl, palming her victim’s shoulders, methodically working on her. She’ll cuff RHW’s head to the side a pawing right, then back the other way with the left. Bar goes downtown to the body, numbing Rosie, paralyzing her and when she’s limp, Rafaeli hunts chin with short, brutal right hands! Couple of kissing blows swivel RHW’s head, leaving her distraught and DOWN GOES ROSIE! British hopeful slumps forward, cheek in the sand, rump in the air, as the count sounds out to give Bar Rafaeli the KO4!

After: Snapping a losing streak, 4 rounds to love, upstart trying to make a name for herself? You bet Bar’s gonna walk her. Right arm grabs Rosie’s ponytail, left arm grabbing Rosie’s left wrist, Bar takes her time displaying her prize, pausing to ram her tummy into each turnbuckle, smiling as her crying victim “woofs” as her breath is forced out. When she tires, Bar sweeps Rosie’s legs out from under her, then toes her under the ropes, before turning to acknowledge the onlookers.