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4 August 2013 Kristen Stewart vs Sara Jean Underwood

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 7 months ago

Kristen Stewart 04.jpgSara Jean Underwood 03.jpg

 

 

 

"TRIPLE THREAT AT THE ARENA"

 

(Site: The Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

 

Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on August 4, 2013, 8:16 pm,

 

BEFORE:

"I'm definitely the underdog," says Sara Jean with a lovely smile. "And it would be an big upset if I beat her. But, Hayek was an underdog, too, you know?"

"I know Salma Hayek," says Kristen with just the trace of a smile playing around her lips. "I fought Salma Hayek. And, I'm pleased to say, Salma Hayek is sort of a friend of mine. And, Sara Jean, you're no Salma Hayek."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Cruise' by Florida Georgia Line, and here comes one of the FCBA's biggest country music fans, the lovely Sara Jean Underwood..."

Tess: "Who, like Mac, is a former Playmate Of The Year..."

Cassie: "Of course, SARA won the honor during THIS millennium..."

McCarthy: "Shut it, Scabbo!"

O'Dell: "Still doesn't count, boys!"

Tess: "Seriously, though, Mac, do you have a bit of a soft spot for a girl like Sara, who's come up through the Playboy system like you did?"

McCarthy: "You know, Walmart, I kind of like the Underwood kid. She's a REAL Playmate, not a FAKE who SLEPT her way to the middle like Wilkinson. She doesn't have an FCBA win, but check out her dance card :DeCesare, Harnois, Krissy Bell, Song, and Lowndes. Those aren't tomato cans. And, even better, she's a member of my second-favorite FCBA stable, behind Sceej, of course, IFFI, which OWNS Weirdo and his Dancing Hookers..."

O'Dell: "IFFI IS one of the few stables to own a winning record against Front Street..."

McCarthy: "The all-time series is currently 7-4 in favor of IFFI! And if it weren't for TORV, it would be 7-2!"

Tess: "She knows exactly ONE statistic, fans, and this is the one..."

O'Dell: "Underwood into the ring, helped off with the robe by the IFFI corner to reveal a lovely red number with white Playboy bunnies on it..."

McCarthy: "I LIKE it..."

O'Dell: "So does the crowd, from the reaction, and that's 'Helter Skelter' booming through the arena, and here comes the FCBA's biggest Beatles fan, Kristen Stewart..."

Tess: "Kristen looking to get back on track tonight after her first loss since she joined Front Street..."

O'Dell: "And wasting no time getting into the ring. Stewart helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that lime green bikini she likes, and the ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess on record as favoring Kristen. Mac, what do you think?"

McCarthy: "I think IFFI has Weirdo's number and Underwood is going to pull the upset!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess..."

McCarthy: "Like Claude Akins, 'Shocked! Shocked!'"

Tess: "Not Claude..."

Cassie: "Ask yourself if it's worth it..."

Tess: "Good point."

O'Dell(sighing): "And, thankfully, there's the bell for the first. Kristen right to that long left jab. Stewart one of the tallest flys in the FCBA and she uses that height and length well. Underwood boring forward, tying up, working in close, banging body..."

McCarthy: "Think she watched some Stewart/Hayek tape? This is the book on this kid now, get inside and bang with her."

Cassie: "TAPE? What year IS it in your world, Mac?"

McCarthy: "20knucklesandwich, Scabbo!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Five more fights after this one. Stewart shoving Sara off, wants to work at range, but Underwood aggressive, pressuring Stewart much like, as J-Mac points out, Hayek did. Getting in close and letting 'em go. Kristen tying her up, shoving her off, not going to allow Sara to dictate early like Salma did..."

McCarthy: "But Sara's style is a problem for K-Stew. Hayek's polished, Underwood has a very random, disruptive style, which isn't made for a precise boxer like Stewart. And it's causing her trouble. Sara's getting in close and outworking Kristen."

O'Dell: "And it makes you wonder if this is tactics from Kristen or Stewart being a little tentative after her first loss in years..."

Cassie: "Maybe a combination of both. There's no question she's being careful in close, tying up Sara and not letting her work, but Underwood scoring in there and Kristen isn't getting much done."

Tess: "No question Sara outworking K-Stew."

O'Dell: "And her reward for doing so is an early 10-9 lead, because there's the bell for the first and Sara's won it."

McCarthy: "I warned you all. IFFI has Weirdo's NUMBER."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Back to action now and Sara upping the pressure. Kristen giving ground, tying up, getting outworked in close..."

McCarthy: "No question about it, the kid's a little gunshy right now. Doesn't want to pull the trigger."

O'Dell: "And Sara taking full advantage, very busy with both hands, closing, working the body in there..."

McCarthy: "One difference between Underwood's strategy and Hayek's is, Sara isn't exclusively head hunting in there. Salma was looking to do damage early because she was giving up a lot of age, didn't do any body work for several rounds, but Underwood thinking more about winning rounds and letting the big stuff come to her. She's willing to score to the body, take her time."

O'Dell: "And the strategy is working very well. K-Stew isn't able to square her up from outside and Sara using that to work in and score. Kristen tying up, shoving off, scoring in spots, but not letting the hands go, staying on the defensive."

Tess: "I'm looking at Neve's face right now..."

McCarthy: "Need to straighten your hair, Walmart?"

Tess: "A-HEM, and she's not pleased with what she's seeing. I expect Kristen may get a talking to in the corner."

O'Dell: "And that's where she's headed. There's the bell ending the second, and Sara Jean Underwood has won the first two."

Tess: "20-18. If Kristen was trying to avoid the BIG early hole, she's done it. But she's STILL in a hole."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third round begins with Sara again looking to close with Kristen. Stewart working the left hand, then dropping rights as Sara gets inside. Underwood banging away in close and Kristen firing right back now, plenty of leather being exchanged..."

McCarthy: "Stewart not just playing defense now, showing more commitment, but Underwood still getting where she wants to be, not letting Kristen square her up with the left hand."

O'Dell: "Stewart willing to dig on the inside, scoring some herself before the inevitable tie up and clean break. Sara determined, aggressive...AND STEWART ROCKS HER WITH A RIGHT HAND!"

Cassie: "THERE'S that trademark laser-guided Stewart precision! Put that straight right square on the button!"

O'Dell: "Underwood takes her first backward step of the fight and it's followed by several more! Sara wobbled and Kristen taking full advantage, dropping bombs from range, forcing Underwood to retreat back into the ropes and going to work with both hands."

Tess: "Everyone knows Kristen's big for the weight, hits with a lot of power, and is very quick and athletic, but, as Cassie mentioned, the class, the precision punching, is what really sets her apart. You saw it with the right hand and you're seeing it now as she sights that left in and lands right hands off it."

O'Dell: "Underwood on the defensive, covering up, trying to bang back but being suppressed by accurate fire from K-Stew."

McCarthy: "Sara Jean out on the end of Stewart's punches now, and that's not where she wants to be."

O'Dell: "She does not, but she's hanging on, running clock, and she's going to get out of this round, because there's the bell. K-Stew's round, no question, but Sara survives and she's still in the lead."

Tess: "29-28 Underwood through three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth underway, and Sara Jean not going to be punked, here, Mac. Not cowed by getting hurt last round, she's right back to pressuring Stewart, working forward, getting inside and banging away..."

McCarthy: "Give credit to the kid, she's not going to get taken out of her fight plan. She knows she's not going to beat Stewart boxing her at range. She has to keep after her."

O'Dell: "And that's exactly what Sara's doing. Kristen not backing up this time, hanging in there and firing back in tight. Both girls doing some scoring in between clinches and breaks."

McCarthy: "But Sara busier in there, working harder, going body, doing the dirty work to score points."

O'Dell: "Nothing pretty about what Underwood's doing, Mac, but it's plenty effective."

McCarthy: "This girl is impressing me in there. She's better than people think."

O'Dell: "Certainly plenty determined. Working hard inside, busy with both hands, banging body, bumping, twisting, shouldering, and scoring. Final seconds ticking off in the fourth, and there's the bell, and Sara's won it to build back that two point lead."

Tess: "39-37 through four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth begins with Sara again aggressively after Kristen. Stewart trying to measure with that long left, square Underwood up, keep her at bay. Sara bobbing and weaving, using that unorthodox style to prevent Stewart from doing that."

McCarthy: "Sara going body again on the inside. Both girls working hard in there until they get tangled up and the referee breaks them."

O'Dell: "Stewart back to the left hand, Sara again looking to work past it. Sharp left from Kristen...DOWN GOES UNDERWOOD!"

Cassie: "Good NIGHT!"

O'Dell: "Sara Jean blasted to her back with a laser guided right to the chin. Stewart to a neutral corner. Referee picks up the count at four..."

Cassie: "He can count all night..."

O'Dell: "Underwood not moving at all. Caught with a clean shot at the lights are out! Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten! It's over! And your winner by KO5 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"

Cassie: "Let's check the replay of that right hand. Watch Kristen set it up with a crisp left jab. Underwood moving forward. Jab lands, stops her in her tracks and BOOM! There's the right. Good NIGHT."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore..."

Tess: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart. Kristen, how's it feel to be back in the win column?"

Kristen: "Pretty good, Tess. I'm glad Wiz made this fight so quickly. I wanted to get right back out there and put Hayek behind me."

Tess: "Sara Jean impressed us tonight. Was she better than you thought?"

Kristen: "Not at all. I knew she'd be a good test for me. She's unorthodox and very aggressive. There are a lot of girls in this division she can beat. I'm just not one of them."

Tess: "I've heard talk about a rematch with Hayek..."

Kristen(waiving her off with a smile): "Talk to my manager."

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