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23 October 2013 Gwyneth Paltrow vs Patricia Heaton

Page history last edited by Vassago 9 years, 2 months ago

 

RETRO BOUT Ca. 2004 BY JAC FAC

 

Reposted by Archer on October 23, 2013, 11:57 am

 


Gwyneth and her mom Blythe Danner were having dinner at an upscale eatery in downtown LA and spotted 'Everybody Loves Raymond' star Patricia Heaton dining out with costars Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle.

"Who'd believe a woman her age could play the mother of little ones," sneered Gwyneth who'd had a tad too much wine before and during dinner.

"Keep your voice down Gwynnie," hissed Blythe.

But Gwyneth's comment was overheard by Doris Roberts who quickly repeated it to Patricia. With that, Patricia got up from her chair and came over to confront Gwyneth. Her face was scarlet red she was so infuriated that someone like this 'young snot-nosed kid' would dare to diss her.

Gwyneth merely looked up and said, "Yes young mommy; anything I can do for you?"

"Don't pay her any mind," Blythe said quickly to Heaton. "She's a little lit at the moment!"

"Yeah, well that makes two of us," snapped Patricia angrily. "And you should have raised your girl to have better manners, you old crow!"

"Oh go buzz off you old windbag," Gwyneth said, starting to stand up. "Get back to your geriatric friends over there and leave us alone before something 'unfortunate' happens to you."

Patricia had heard enough! "I've got half a mind to kick your up-start ass," she snarled at Gwyneth.

"When and where?" laughed Gwyneth.

"I guess just like everyone else, at the Forum," said Heaton.

"All set for you and good to go!" replied Paltrow. Adding, "Come out swinging."

The following month the two antagonists were introduced at Caesar's Forum in Las Vegas and as they faced off across the referee during the instructions, Gwyneth taunted Heaton.

"Well, I'll be home in time to tuck in my little baby 'Apple' while your three boys will be crying up a storm. When's your oldest one start college?" continued Paltrow.

Patricia had to be pulled away to be kept from attacking the big blonde right then and there.

ROUND ONE
The bell rang and Gwyneth quickly nailed Heaton with two solid left jabs to the face. She had the height advantage for sure but Heaton charged into Gwyneth and hit her a good body shot that made the younger woman wince - but only momentarily! Gwyneth continued scoring heavily with her left jab and easily won the first round. The frustration was showing on Patricia's face as the referee took her elbow at the bell and pulled her away to her corner.

ROUND TWO
Once again, Gwyneth hammers Patricia with good still left jab head shots, then her right snaps Patricia's head back. Before the brunette can reset her feet, it's followed by a left-right combo to the body that doubles Patricia up in pain. Her eyes are swelling from those Gwyneth jabs and Gwyneth is having the time of her life as she's dominating. "Enjoy yourself while you're still on your feet, 'Mommy Deb'," taunts Gwyneth. Patricia attempts to unload a right but is beaten soundly to the punch by Gwyneth whose left to the jaw staggers Patricia who stumbles, then FALLS HEADFIRST INTO THE ROPES. As Patricia lays draped over the middle rope, Gwyneth leans over and asks, "Ready to quit yet, you old yuppie windbag?" After untangling herself, Patricia comes at Gwyneth but her wild punches all miss and Gwyneth again hammers the older actress to the canvas on her hands and knees. Gwyneth had ALL the mojo but Patricia stubbornly drags herself to her feet again with only pride sustaining her. Patricia's three boys are at ringside, pleading with her to quit but Gwyneth walks over and leans out over the top rope, telling them with a grin, "Don't worry boys your mommy is done NOW!" Then as Patricia regains her feet and comes rushing toward her, Gwyneth brutally tags her with yet another left-right combo!! Patricia's eyes glaze over a second before she crumples to her knees and then topples over, landing face down before slowly rolling onto her back, sprawled helpless at Gwyneth's feet with her right arm draped across her eyes and her left arm flung out to the side.

"Here, come get Little Debby," chides Gwyneth, gesturing to Ray Romano who, along with Doris, Peter and Brad Garrett scramble into the ring to revive the beaten Patricia. After she's brought to with smelling salts, a red-faced and humbled Patricia meekly goes over to Gwyneth's corner where she raises Gwyneth's right hand in a symbolic gesture of her superiority as the capacity crowd roars their approval at her good sport gesture .

 

 

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