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16 November 2013 Kirsten Dunst vs Natalie Portman

Page history last edited by Archer844 10 years, 4 months ago

Kirsten Dunst 05.jpg Natalie Portman 04.jpg

Posted by simguy on November 16, 2013, 9:12 am.

BEFORE: "I'll be stickin' Natalie's tits for sure," Kirsten promises in prefight. "I want rack-presence, because she needs to know that every time she opens up to punch, she's going to pay the jug-price. It's an innovative strategy for me - you guys haven't seen that from me in the past, but neither has she. Portman's never faced rack-pressure before and I'm anxious to get in there. I truly believe it's going to be a great way of taking away her game, and forcing her onto Kirsten Dunst turf!"

Natalie skeptical at best in rebuttal. "Nobody's tried that on me for good reason," Portman says of Dunst's pec-suppression strategy. "Kirsten's assuming that she'll be able to answer what I do, but will she? I highly doubt this girl can counter me. I'm too quick, too crisp...Kirsten Dunst has never been able to hone her potential into actual ring-practice. It's going to be another heartbreaking night in a heartbreaking career for Kirsten. I can't wait to see it!"

Natalie in tuggable navy bandeau top and boy-leg bottoms; small hot-pink mitts; hair in slick ballet bun. Dunst in ivory bandeau top, and boy-leg bottoms; small white mitts; blonde hair in scrappy Dutch braid with messy bangs. Asked to touch 'em up during ref's instructions, Kirsten skids her mitts off Natalie's to bump jugs: fight delayed as temper's flare.

During R1: Dunst: wide stance, torso forward, elbows in, hands up in loose configuration. Natalie with similar hands, but hoppier-feet, circling to her right, looking to dart in and out. Kirsten stiff and accurate with that left jab - pounding it to rack, moving Natalie off-point. When Nat attacks, Dunst slides back in-stance, cuffing check-hooks with the left elbow high...Portman troubled by Kirsten's ranginess early. Midway through, Natalie eats lefts and rights getting close enough to flurry, but when she withdraws, Dunst chases Nat down with a slinging right cross, putting Portman wobbly-butt! Natalie hurt, forming earmuff: Kirsten able to step-close, issue thick shellack to waistline - blonde girl's slender arms licking right/left against toned Portman tummy. Natalie grimacing, answering back via scrubbing shoe-shine flurries...Kirsten elongates in wide-stance, making Nat shoot short, then punishing her to jug via chopping left jab.

R2: Kirsten pivoting clockwise in wide stance - jabbing jug, then hooking, turning Portman midring. Easy, rangy approach from Dunst - left elbow often up high as she's cuffing hooks off Natalie's scalp, then chopping the jab mouth or jug. Midway through, Natalie scooting forward to engage: she runs her chin onto a gorgeous little intercept-uppercut - Kirsten just jerking the tight right counter and DOWN GOES NATALIE! Portman stumbling to haunches and hands, panting in shock...Kirsten smirking en route to neutral corner. Natalie boiling off the ropes after 8, anxious to answer...leads to up-tempo, yet classy engagements all around the ring. Kirsten active with the left hand - chopping it to Natalie's face or jugs, hooking Natalie with it - blonde girl staying long and rangy in wide stance. Portman weaving her way past in spots, flurrying savagely to slender blonde torso - Natalie answering Kirsten's hacking weight of shot with bee-hive swarming ferocity. Bell: both girls touched and humming, colour high, chests heaving.

R3: Natalie trying to jab her way close, sputtering as Kirsten's knocking poke spanks off face, chops jug. Dunst calm in wide stance, feeding Portman the constant, heavy left hand, disrupting her, then RAKING her the right cross. Natalie wobbling out of orbit after a couple of pasting chin-strikes loosen her up: she's hurt, defensive at the minute mark. Dunst a little over-eager in pursuit - squaring up her feet a little, whirling her fists...Portman able to weave-and-counter to some effect, chipping away to chin. Down the stretch, Kirsten smartens up, resumes the wide, stalking stance - chopping and touching at Natalie with the omnipresent jabs and hooks - touching, touching, touching until openings present for straight right hands. Bell: Natalie busting up, looking bleak and disheveled...she's been hit hard, dropping the first three rounds of this fight.

R4: Natalie doubles up a spitting jab head/tummy, then gambles on trading right crosses to chin. Advantage Portman: Kirsten stumbles out of orbit, eyes blinking...she's chin-smote, looking to regroup. Natalie aggressive, willing to eat Kirsten's hooks and uppercuts for position inside...leads to spicy exchanges with Dunst trying to beat Portman back; Nat trying to penetrate. Small gloves skidding off pretty faces, biting into firm tummies, smacking slender ribcages PIK! PAK! High volume flyweight fist-fighting favours Natalie at last as she breaks the Dunst shutout bid.

R5: Natalie: hard eyed - feinting, then darting in behind spitting double jabs - tearing at Kirsten with whirling combinations at close range. Dunst reeling back, trying to renegotiate distance, but Natalie's got blonde-girl guessing, reacting a heartbeat late. Dunst gradually forced into a defensive shell - fists tight at temples, elbows pressing ribs: Natalie's small gloves pick away in tic-tac-toe patterns, biting and digging at blonde torso. Bell to bell Portman: she gives a withering glare as the ref steps in...Kirsten defiant, but throbbing through 5.

R6: More Natalie overwhelming Kirsten - blonde girl can't get into her stance, can't get off against nimble brunette tactics. Portman on balls of her feet, bouncing in her stance, feinting, then coming in fists a-whirling...she's dousing Kirsten tic-tac-toe, flurrying blonde girl into tight defensive fronts, then sidestepping her. Nat in, out, and around - really sticking the left jab into the exposed patch of tummy in between Kirsten's protective elbows...Dunst maintaining defensive integrity, but she's completely suppressed, unable to answer any of this stuff from lithe Natalie.

R7: Dunst comes out of her funk - resumes the good work of the early rounds. Long, chopping jabs from the wide stance coaxing Natalie into earmuff fronts. Cuffing hook-and-pivot routines turning Natalie clockwise, setting her up for pinpoint straight rights. Minute in, Dunst in charge behind the jab: she slops a bolo right uppercut to Nat's tummy; chops a palm-down left across Nat's mouth; tips torso-left to clap the right hand across Portman's jawline and DOWN GOES NATALIE! Portman peeling off to her left, stumbling to knees and elbows in shock: Dunst strutting all a-grin to neutral corner, eyes dancing. Shaky-8 Nattie P: Dunst wades in to finish! Dunst: wide stance - that limber, hacking jab chopping and poking, setting up wide, limber-limbed hooks from the high arm-angle, setting up drilling straight rights to chin! Glorious volume + accuracy batters Natalie in the pocket: Portman trying to stay covered up, but she's pasted again and again and NATALIE GOES DOWN! Natalie rump-high on knees and elbows, head bowed: she's rickety to her feet, blinking in confusion during the count. Dunst grinning, stepping in to finish but NAT WON'T PUNK! Portman baring desperate fangs, dipping side to side, whirling palm-down haymakers at her tormentress and BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Kirsten chopped and dropped in a maelstrom of punches...she scrambles quickly up with Natalie trying to pile on - ref bundling little brunette off to restore order. Dunst in good shape, stung but serviceable: she lopes the ring in a leggy clockwise circle, running the clock rather than risking further harm in a wild 7th!

R8: Natalie the grim, busted up aggressor: Kirsten the calculating, scuffed up blonde, using her legs to deny Portman decisive battle. Natalie lusting after whirling slugging exchanges, forced to accept trade in rapier-thrust jabs instead...she's winning the engagements, but not damaging Kirsten - Dunst covering the ring like a snarky blonde roomba.

R9: Same again - Dunst using her legs, hopping and pivoting and feinting her way counter-clockwise, touching the odd jab to Portman's breasts. Natalie frowning, pressing, but wary of clever blonde traps: Portman the aggressor, but once again unable to really impose will.

R10: Method to Kirsten's madness: she sells "I'm running again" to get Natalie into pursuit-mode, walking Portman into a wide, palm-down left hook; a short, jagged right uppercut, followed by a slapping left/right to face as Natalie's staggering out of orbit. Portman wobbly-butt, distressed: she's hurt when she needs to pressing her hardest. Cruel smirk Kirsten D: she eases into the wide attack-stance, starts vexing Natalie with that rangy high-arm-angle left hand...constant stream of jabs and hooks punching Natalie to ring apron. Portman fretting, trying to exchange, but every time she gets off, Kirsten pounds Natalie's nuggets via the heavy hacking jab, or slopping wide right hand shellack. Dunst happy to punch-it-out in top position at the apron: Natalie defiant, but trading just to survive, not win, by the bell. Kirsten raises her hands, chesting into Natalie and letting her hear it: duke comes back 5 rounds a piece, but balance of knockdowns carries the verdict UD10 Dunst.

AFter: Natalie bruised, sullen - soundly beaten by a woman long ago written off by HISC's battle-algorithms. "The problem for HISC," Kirsten chirps in postfight, eyes bright, "is that all their girls are same-same. Natalie, Krissy and Mila are all the same problem - batter one and you threaten all. Well I just solved Natalie Portman guys - like I said I would. That means Mila's trembling, and Krissy's gulping hard even as we speak!"