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11 April 2008 Kelly Monaco vs Jessica Simpson

Page history last edited by Archer844 11 years, 4 months ago




Boxing After Dark


Posted by simguy on 4/11/2008, 4:41 pm

Before: A very candid Jessica Simpson opens up to Blonde! Magazine in a preview article on this fight. "I'm jealous of Hayden Panettiere," Simpsy admits, "Or not so much her, but the respect she gets - even though she's not all that hot and she's just starting out - young fighters getting into this sport are targeting her and forgetting about me. I want that to be reversed, but I understand that I have to start winning. Janet has really laid it out for me how close I am to getting everything I want. I am - by far- the hottest woman in the division; I've got the biggest heart; all I need is the results to back up the rest of my package and I can be the biggest little woman in the game. There's no excuse - I train in the same gym as Charlize Theron; I watch her beat Jennifer Garner into bloody pulp every time out; I couldn't ask for a better role model and I have to start living up to her example."


Monaco another body-hottie yearning for division respect: so far, battering Sarah Carter's gotten the brunette stunner zero in terms of new opportunities. "It's tough being me," punching playmate sighs in prefight. "I want fights - but I understand why the names don't want to get in with this (both thumbs pointing to her majestic torso). Put yourself in the other girl's shoes: at the weigh in - you are completely humiliated. There we both are in our skivvies - all the press and oddsmakers checking out the beef, comparing every inch: that is a BEATING for most women right there. Your confidence is shattered - you catch your man giving me the eye - everything sucks. Then you get in the ring with me and find out I fight even better than I look! That's just a lot of risk to assume for most of these protected wannabes. I give Jessica a lot of credit for putting out the open contract - knowing that Kelly Monaco's out there monitoring the wires. At least she's not totally embarrassed on the scales by me - so hopefully she'll give me some rounds and entertain the fans on the way down."

Monaco in her beige bra and panties (stunning Maxim or FHM shoot) white gloves. Jessica in heartpounding pink Dukes bikini; white gloves.

During R1: Jessica JABS Kelly early (not a typo) - blonde punching out the straight left, keeping her right hand high - a little robotic, but a good stiff poke startling Kelly to face. Monaco jabbing in response, working Simpson's breasts with smearing left hands. Jess drops the right: again, a nice straight punch off the shoulder, twisting into the shot, pounding Kelly's face back with spank. Jess hopping forward in her stance - good balance, keeping the right foot back: hands up high, she pops hips-right, pulls a smart left hook into Kelly's rack, then beats the brunette to short right hands inside. Kelly backs off, circles - she wasn't anticipating a patient, sharpshooting Jessica Simpson. Simpsy walking Kelly down: blonde very thoughtful - keeping dukes up: she's bringing her feet with her, maintaining her stance as she encroaches - no overswinging or wasted effort as she hounds Kelly for points.

R2: Kelly frowning, working hard - doubling up that left jab head and body, then ducking low at the waist to slip receipts. Jessica missing the right cross, eating the jab as she's trying to comeback with hooks: Monaco's dictating midring. Girls circling slowly, steppin' clockwise: both keeping enough distance to extend on punches and hit each other hard. Kelly scoring on Jess: jabs to face; tuff right/lefts crisscrossing off jugs; jabs to tummy. Down the stretch, girls exchanging: Kelly slips Jessica's right, answers back a spanking left hook to ribs, steps-with as Jessica's backing up and hooks Simpsy's mouth. JESSI'S HURT! Simpsy stumbling in fence post holes - hands up panicky at her temples. Monaco makes the most of the final seconds: right roundhouse to the waist; left roundhouse to waist; left hook to jug; BIG RIGHT HAND! Kelly driving through to Jessica's chin - BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Jessica sputtering, tears of frustration welling up as she's trembling on all fours; Kelly jogs to Krusher corner and butter churns right at Janet Jones!

R3: Jessica recovering well - shaking off her disappointment and getting back to business. Girls spend a minute jabbing, then hooking off the jab, pounding away to jug and chin: neither vixen moved despite spicy back and forth. Simpsy doing a better job of leading with her jab - coaxing Kelly into her defensive crouch, then bouncing the right hand off Monaco's hairline as Kelly's committed. Workmanlike pace: neither girl falling in or clinching - they're getting off, extending on shots, landing with leverage, bringing the hands back to sound defensive positions. When either girl lands a swinging roundhouse, her jugs slosh back and forth as the arm is stopped hard on contact; backsides humming as each assumes wide, confident slugger's stances.

R4: Similar stuff: steady action, but not wild - girls working hard without being reckless. Simpsy bringing her hands back smart, keeping her dukes up/elbow in: she's blocking a lot of receipts that would normally be bouncing off her face. Monaco cuter with her left hand: she'll find Jess with the jab, then edge in to hook off the stick - both punches frequently scoring. Jessica's right hand off the shoulder probably the hardest shot either girl tries: not as hard as Jessica usually throws it, but her balance is better as a result. Down the stretch, Kelly separates herself with a steady body attack - systematically drumming Jessica's waist with right and left roundhouses. Blonde snivelling just a bit - backing up with concerned expression and cranky (if not full-on wobbly) buttocks.

R5: Jessica jabs Kelly's mouth - pivots left while bending at the waist: Monaco misses a right hand over top. Jessi jabs jug, then jabs face, spoiling Kelly's right hand; Simpsy leans into HER right hand punching Monaco's head back with authority. Kelly backing up: Jessica hopping forward in her stance, keeping dukes up - again she locates Kelly with the jug-jab, dropping a straight right hand over top to punch Kelly sideways. Monaco scampering to ropes a little rocked: she shows earmuff, bending forward behind her mitts. Jessica touching her jab to Kelly's guard - just tapping contact, then a BIG right uppercut! Jessi muscling it in tight - weight on right foot as she picks Kelly up: MONACO'S SHOOK! Kelly still in her earmuff, not answering back: Jessica reloads, leans in, carrying the right hand thick and flat to Monaco's tummy: PLAYMATE DOWN! Kelly immediately dropping to all fours, sobbing with body-throb and it's OVER! Monaco can't beat the count - that's KO5 Jessi!

After; Simpsy running to her corner, head down, arms at her sides to receive Janet's hug: Jessica breaking down into tears as Jones congratulates her. Monaco blubbering - fabulous body breaking down against Jessica's - it's a terrible blow to the ego of the woman who's been fighting that 'brunette Jessica Simpson' label her whole career. "My jugs stopped her jugs," Jessica says, "but that's not all. I placed my shots better and I was smarter and tuffer. Normally, I would've swarmed her at the ropes, but I took my time, hurt her with that uppercut, then OH, BABY, I tucked home that body shot! I'm excited - I'm thrilled, and I hope girls like Hudgens and Song and Cavallari were watching, because there's more where that came from!"

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