Posted by Simguy on 5/29.2008, 6:42 pm.

Before: “It’s frustrating,” Kristin fumes in prefight. “I’m hotter than the so-called big names, and they know it, so they don’t want to fight me. But I’m not going away—I’m beach-tuff; I’ve got the best fighting body in boxing and I’m going to bring these girls to heel. Duff is a girl I’ve been working long and hard to get in the ring—I can’t wait to conquer this tramp!” Duff ill-amused: Cavalleri’s here to be Hilary’s showcase, not the other way around. “Kristin’s all these reality show wannabees,” Duff complains, “They squawk about not being treated with the same respect as real celebrities, but they forget it’s because THEY HAVE NO TALENT! I mean seriously—what does Kristin Cavalleri do for a living? Take beatings? That’s about all I can see her doing—especially in THIS fight!” Blonde Hilary in fun yellow bikini with yellow ring connections; white gloves. Kristin in baby blue squiggle-wave pattern bikini; white gloves—hair back in twisty bun with bangs framing face.

R1: Duffster takes it to Cavs early, forcing her way inside and cramming away to tummy, Kristin gasping—arms draped over Hilary, butt jumped up into ropes: rough start sees “Laguna Beach” vixen take a thumping. Sloppy clinches/ref’s breaks buy KC A LITTLE BREATHING ROOM: Duff quick to hop back in, muscle Kris to ropes and work her over fresh, Bell: Hilary beaming, eyes dancing; Cavallari livid, stomping back to her corner and screaming at her trainer in tantrum.

R2: HUP! Krissy shoves a right hand low, punching trunks in Hillary and bunching her up in pain, Hilary draped over Kristin—Cavallari rams away righty to gut while riding the left around Hilary’s lower back. Cavallari slugging Hilary to ropes, continues to plug away righty out of the wrap until Duff can clinch. Ref’s break: Cavallari pushing back in; thudding rights and lefts bust away on Duff’s rack, sitting her in ropes. Hillary struggling to come forward: Kris doing a nice job reaching in under Duff’s arms, bodying her into ropes, then plowing her tummy/ribs. Cavallari a good short puncher—able to jam away to tummy while hanging her chin out over Duff’s left shoulder. Bell to bell Kristin sees her answer Hilary’s shutout: Duff a little weepy, sniveling back to her corner with a bad case of body-throb.

R3: Duff still a little shook: Kristin able to body up, walk Hilary into ropes, beat her without mercy. Cavallari rotating her shoulders, digging at Hilary’s paunch, then erupting up-torso in search of jug or chin. Duff butt-in ropes much of the time—grimacing under constant buffeting: she’s clinching, bogging Kris down best she can. Cavallari smearing Hilary along ropes, staying on top of her as Duff tries to slide out from under, Round ends to the sight of Duff covering up with her right side in the ropers; Kris squared away on Hillary’s left flank, just a-BUSTIN’ her hup-hup rights and lefts to bell. “This ain’t no Mickey Mouse Club!” Kris cheerfully taunts as she’s skipping away.

R4: Good pressure from Duff—but she’s badly hurt in the middle minute as Cavallari wins a pivotal exchange of free-swinging rights and lefts, Hilary proving her sturdiness—she’s careening to her right, out on her feet—stocky kegs keep her upright as she hits ropes in disarray, Cavallari hops in to clean up, but finds woozy Duff still combative. Final minute sees Hilary reject Kristin’s finishing pulse: Hillary managing to beat Cavallari to short, side to side lefts and rights on the kisser, backing Krissy up all a-jiggle.

R5: Duff’s bravery starting to cost her. Hilary visibly loose, legs rubbery: Kris shows a little patience by hanging back, reaching out the jab or straight right to spank at tummy and tits, luring Hillary forward. Duff pouting as Kristin treats herself to torso—Hillary trying to close and punch, but getting pre-empted, socked upside the head by Krissy’s clubbing right. Duff reels to ropes, covers up to reorganize: Krissy in crowd in close, squares away with her left shoulder against Duff’s raised guard and POUNDS at Hilary’s midriff via right hands. Duff sitting in ropes, mouth open behind her mitts—she’s just absorbing punishment as Cavallari happily works paunch to bell

R6: Signs of life from the Duffster. She engages Cavallari midring, bouncing a wild right off Krissy’s forehead overtop Cavallaroi’s left., Krissy Cav snarls, swings a wide right at Hilary’s ear: Hilary buffeted sideways, then clobbers back her own wide right. Legs stamping, tummies jiggling—girls fighting with bared teeth, swinging wide n’ wild. Haphazard stuff—neither girl obeying her corner: both frequently clobbered off balance, or falling into the other’s arms to stagger mindlessly into ropes. Bell sees them embraced, jamming away right hands inti offending bodies until ref can pull ‘em apart.

R7: Kristin hungry tonight--she bounces Hilary as a tired Duff’s just getting iff her stool, tackling Hilary into her corner. Tuff shoulder blocks take Hilary in her chest, dislodging her mouthpiece: Cavallari squares away, lowers her head and pumps away rights and lefts to gut until Duff can clinch. Cavallari squirming, working hard tummy-to-tummy: she wedges her hands down inside Hilary’s grappling arms, breaking up the clinch, then pushing Duff down to continue the assault. Pattern forms: hurting Duff clinching, trying to muscle Kristin into ropes: Cavallari denying the spin,  reaching down into the clinch to get under Hilary’s arms, then pushing and jostling to sustain the assault. It’s all too much: Hilary bumped and belted, pushed and mauled—she’s breaking down, softening. Duff turns to her right, covering her head as Kristin pounds down with left and right hammerfists to upper back and back of head—BLUDGEONING DUFF TO HER KNEES! Hilary sobbing on her haunches--ref struggling to body an exultant Cavallari away and DUFF CAN’T BEAT THE COUNT! Hilary crying, alert, but her kegs are numb/unresponsive. Comes back KO7 Kristin Cavallari!

After: Upset: Duff a proven little slugger, expected to stamp out Kristin en route to bigger and better, winds up stubbing her toe on the Laguna Beach Bad Girl. “THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” Kristin shouts through the ropes at assembled press. Belligerent Cavallari makes several attempts to get at blubbering Duff in her corner: security walling off the fallen superstar, protecting her from further torment. “It’s gonna be the Summer of Cavallari.” Kristin beams in postfight. “I can feel it.”

Reposted by Archer 3/10/14.