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8 October 2010 Ellen Page vs Kristen Stewart

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 5 months ago

Posted by simguy on 10/8/2010, 8:26 am

BEFORE: "Oh my God, she's ADORABLE!" Kristen mocks from the podium. "Wook at dose chubby cheeks...she's wike a wittle chipmunk! Aw, geez: I'm gonna have to beat the living snot out of a chipmunk. Darn! Well - girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Sorry E!" Newcomer Paige not in the typical mold of the chunky Canadian Clinch Fighter...what gives? "I'm definitely more of a stylist," Ellen self-assesses. "I'm like a Theron, or a Tricia Helfer - I mean, Helfer's Canadian and she's no clinch fighter. I'm definitely smarter and I think I'm tougher than Kris, so it should be a good debut. Look for me to take Kristen into deep water!" Kris in pink bra/panties set - ribbed cups on the bra; black gloves; black shoes no socks (coming to the ring, KStew's got a roomy dark green hoody over this get up - the hood up, shrouding her face.) Paige in forest green bikini; tan ankle-high boxing moccasins; black gloves. Paige a little unnerved during ring-instructions as KStew stands there with head bowed in her hoody.

During R1: Paige out of her corner with a banshee shriek - running across the ring, assaulting Kris via tyro's-windmill. Stewart swept to ropes: she blocks blows up high, calmly folds wriggling Ellen into clinch for ref's break. Kris circling to midring...Ellen closes...both girls straighten up into rising, free-swinging left hooks from the thigh - healthy simultaneous clapping of leather on chins sees Paige stagger back dumbfounded on her heels, then take a bewildered seat. Stewart smug, winking at Paige on the strut-past: Ellen gingerly to her feet, taking her 8 at ropes. Resume: Ellen frightened - dukes up high at temples - elbows out wide...Kris hops in, dives down, PLOWS a spearing Erik Morales straight right hand loud against Ellen's pale midsection. Cry of pain, Ellen Paige...arms hug body, chin tilts up, face all distressed...she backs into ropes, bounces gently off, dropping to her knees, then going to right shoulder as she's hugging her throbbing little bod. Ellen's buttocks up high from this posture - knees working mindlessly on canvas...she rolls to her right, lying on her back, moaning in gutshot agony, knees up, arms hugging ribs, face all pale and pinched. That's it - Ellen can't get off her back KO1 Kristen Stewart.

AFTER: Stewart laughing, shouting "Oh COME ON!" as she delights in Ellen's plight: Paige on her back longer than she was on her feet as physicians take their time with debuting fighter. Stewart/Jamie Lynn exchanging high fives, having a good chortle - glancing over and enjoying Paige's misery. Avril Lavigne tweets: "i want Ellen!" Ashley Greene tweets: "@KSTEW - Please! FIGHT somebody!" Leighton Meester tweets "@KSTEW don't be so smug: u r terrible." Clearly, lots of unbelievers still at large, as far as Kristen Stewart's concerned.