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8 October 2010 Serinda Swan vs Charlize Theron

Page history last edited by Archer844 13 years, 5 months ago

Posted by for simguy on 10/8/2010, 11:08 am

(Result: Simguy/Words: Simgrrl)

Before: "Look, Swan's a whiny little primadonna, but she DOES have more game than you'd expect at this point in her career," Jenny Mac bloviates on her Playboy prefight special. "The win over Jeri Ryan was impressive and with Charlize being blown out by another free-swinging tyro in Lively, you have to know that - given the feelings between Blake and Serinda - Swan is desperate to do the same thing to Theron just to prove she's as good. Looking at those two, I wonder if Lively/Swan could turn into another historic rivalry like Theron-Bell? Wouldn't that be great for the FCBA!"

Charlize Theron one of the big mega-celebs; a woman who can generate heat for her fights by simply plucking beautiful nobodies out of obscurity like the old Hollywood actresses would select a girl from the chorus line of a Broadway show or a Busby Berkley musical to beat up on Saturday night in a NY supper club or a studio back lot smoker. In that regard, it's an intriguing fight because everyone knows Theron is a woman who'll take an opponent lightly if she's not properly motivated.

Serinda says, "I've studied Theron-Lively and, if all else fails, I'll just do a shot-for-shot remake of what was a true classic. Everyone knows I don't dislike Blake Lively - I hate her with a fiery, red-hot, passion - so punching out Theron would be a great way to send a message to Blake that 'anything you can do, I can do - not just better but also with class and style'.

"Oh, and now there's 'rumors' being floated in the press and Internet that Theron is 'so worried' that she's resorted to plucking Blake Lively's brain...or at least she tried to. I'm not sure if she could find it! Or maybe it was Blake begging Theron to 'beat me' because she can't do it herself. Whatever..." she said with a dismissive wave, "...everyone knows I'm scaring all the blondes: Vandervoort, Lively, 'the aging' Ryan; even Diaz and Helfer who got lucky against me haven't been returning calls offering them a rematch. Word is out that I'm a handful for any blonde bimbo dumb enough to get in the ring with me. One magazine referred to me as the 'next Cat Bell' - how's that for a great reference!?"

Then Serinda goes into the usual stuff you hear from a long-odds underdog. "We've studied video of Charlize Theron going back ten years. There's lots of video on her - that's an advantage fighting someone with her record, there's dozens of knockdowns and knockouts to analyze and learn from. She's got a couple of little weaknesses I can exploit so, we'll see."

Charlize grinning at Serinda's 'fantasy' and when she gets her hands on the mike, she starts off referring to it as 'Serinda's Seranade' then switches to calling it a 'Swan Song'. Say what you will about Theron as an actress or a boxer; but there's no doubt she's got an Oscar-worthy writer penning her pre-fight patter!

"Ah yes, my 'weaknesses'," she says with a grin, although her eyes are cold and hard with no sign of mirth behind them. "I've been hearing that same old line for too long now and I'm tired of it. Of course I can be hit, and hurt; there aren't any boxers who can't be. But my record speaks for itself. Plenty of women have come up against me with a 'plan' that wasn't worth the paper it was printed on. And I didn't 'pluck' Serinda from some chorus line for this as someone said. She earned the shot the old fashioned way - by standing up to and beating good, solid, opponents. Look at who she's fought; just about every one is ranked. That's a pretty impressive string of fights for a newcomer. Whether I win or lose won't depend on me taking her lightly either; she's a seriously dangerous opponent and I'm expecting her to give a good account of herself."

Charlize has her blonde hair in a French Twist; her body in a soft pastel green Victoria's Secret push-up bra-thong-garter belt combo with 'nude' stockings. For Serinda it's her neon baby-blue battle bikini; long n' loose tangly black hair and red gloves for both women.

During R1:Theron stepping out cautious and conservative to start, not letting herself get drawn into any foolish exchanges with the brunette; snapping, not flicking, her left in Serinda's face, making it impossible for the brunette to get comfortable. Charlize working her combinations off the jab; whether is jab-hook or jab-jab-cross, both work and Serinda's looking cross as she's buffeted in the pocket; unable to find her comfort zone. Swan forced to settle for one punch offense in the round; getting out-hit by the blonde as her head-hunting is unavailing. First round close, but definitely Theron's.

R2: More of the same. Theron working the combinations, footwork keeping her out of harm's way for the most part as Swan is again having to settle for a single thumping hook to the body or a right high on the head before Theron slips away - usually behind a counter or two to discourage reckless pursuit. Theron's sitting down on her punches more; slugging - but smart; not letting herself be drawn into a protracted land war as she did against Lively. Charlize working the body; not ignoring Swan's head, but she's not head-hunting, looking to take something out of Serinda's younger legs. Theron banks another 10-9.

R3: And yet again! Charlize ain't gonna fix it if it's not broken. Up on her toes, forward aspect, snapping the jab and then leaning into hard rights, lefts, to the body. Theron's connect percentage much higher than Swan's due to her use of effective combinations while Swan is again having to settle for one and out. Serinda's frustration showing in her head-hunting and jug-mugging, neither particularly effective as Theron, showing no sign of coming down off her high horse to fight in the mud, locks down her third straight 10-9 round.

Theron/Swan Pt 2 (too much Lively interest for one part)

Posted by for simguy on 10/8/2010, 11:11 am.

R4: Theron settling down, slugging more, looking to tune Serinda up this round. THERON'S HURT! Wheels come off the Golden Goddess' chariot when Serinda finally lands one of those big right hands. Shaken, Charlize beaten to the ropes where Serinda cleans up in true brunette fashion; head under Charlize's chin; bludgeoning body with both hands. Swan taking advantage to savage Charlize's 'little weakness' she bragged about, jug-mugging with gusto; hup-hup-hupping up under Charlize's half-filled cups with uppercuts, then stepping back to PEK-PEK-PEK her puppies. Two to the belly button start to break down Charlzie's defenses before a crushing overhand right drives THERON TO HER KNEES! Swan jumping up and down, dancing in a semi-circle around her wounded blonde before heading to the neutral corner. Charlize up, takes a shaken eight, legs rubbery but coherent when the ref checks. Theron back to the ropes, soakes up a 'living daylights type' beating all the way to the finish line. Charlize' body just sponging up the leather, finishing all sweaty, flush-faced, disheveled and boob-battered as she staggers heading to her stool where she's greeted by a chorus of shrieked criticism from both Stone and Cat Bell. Big 10-8 round for Swan pulls her within one point and we're not even halfway!

R5: Theron still not back. Serinda consolidating her gains behind her big right hand, using her young legs to power drive a still-wobbly Theron back into the ropes for more body shock punishing. Theron twisting, ducking, bobbing and weaving like the veteran she is; clutching, grabbing and clinching at every opportunity; not giving Swan many clean shots at her body. But Serinda makes her own openings at times and when she does, she plunders Charlize's cleavage with both hands; digging into her perky bosom with breath-taking power. Theron survives without any major damage but her upper torso is pinking up prettily and there's a rosy glow on her abs from Swan's diligent effort. Fight's suddenly even at halftime thanks to a jug and body mugging extravaganza from a suddenly resurgent Serinda Swan!

R6: Theron comes bangin' back! Charlize having weathered the storm, comes surging back at Serinda, catching Swan with a hard shot, covering up to block the answer, then hammering Swan again. Charlize down off her toes after two tough rounds, not flat-footed but with a solid base; getting more of herself into every punch. Toe-to-toe, Theron's better poise and her more disciplined guard prove to be difference makers as Serinda beting banged around, roughed up; not making the necessary adjustments as she's getting the worst of just about every exchange. Final minute, Theron grimacing, slinging leather with hard-hearted determination, but she just can't quite land the big, go home, punch to put Swan away.

R7: It doesn't always work! Swan's handlers yelling in her ear between rounds, insisting she, "Fix it." Swan listens and starts reaching in to wrestle down Theron's guard, pry her arms apart and attack her rack. She's brawling for the first time and Theron doesn't like it. Charlize resisting her instinct to get 'down and dirty' but she's not as effective. Charlize not shut out this round, but she's starting to 'slug dumb' once again; her pride refusing to let her 'hunt and peck' for points when she 'should be' decking the brunette brawler. Theron's pitching and catching ends up letting Swan steal the round; draw close - if not even.

R8: Theron re-energized. Charlize out and softening Swan up with a batting barrage to her nubile, young, brunette body. Theron whistling a hook over the top that buckles Serinda's knees in the opening minute, then drops the right hand on her, checking chin and putting Serinda wobbly butt. Serinda Swan showing a battling brunette heart and she doesn't go down - although taking a veteran knee at this point may have been smart. She's badly, tragically, hurt; baby-stepping forward, face-in-gloves, pawing her punches; thighs jiggling; knees like jello. Charlize coldly walks the embattled beauty into one punch after another; just beating her about the head, shoulders and flanks, without the slightest indication of an inclination to show mercy. Closing seconds, Charlize unleashes on Serinda's bosom, swatting sack; sending Swan sobbing to her stool. Big round by Theron jets the Golden Goddess back into the point lead.

R9: During the break, Swan can't get her legs back and Theron moves all her chips in. Charlize recognizes the youngster's hurt and she's taking no chances; wanting to finish Serinda off before she catches her second wind. Series of slick tummy jabs loosens Swan up but Charlize holds back. Great display of discipline here, something Charlize isn't known for but has displayed on occasion; blonde being cagey; crafty; she's coaxing Swan into punching, then lighting her up with right hands when she exposes herself! Series of clean, drifting, slobber-knocking right hands swivels Swan's head over and over until she can't take any more and goes crumbling to canvas. KO9 Theron.