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4 May 2014 Leelee Sobieski vs Padma Lakshmi

Page history last edited by Archer844 8 years, 8 months ago

Leelee Sobieski 04.jpg




"I'd Like to Thank the Academy at the Ayslum" PVV


(Site: Asylum Arena; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)



Posted by Results By Sim/Words By Wiz on May 4, 2014, 8:38 pm



"The judges, I think, don't really understand my style," says Padma with a gorgeous smile. "I clearly beat Decker last month, and I was very disappointed not to get the decision. But, I'm back today, and, this time, I won't let it go to the cards."

"She's very slick, very skilled," says Leelee with a nod. "But, I'm not your average welter, either. I can box as well as she can, and she's about to find that out."


O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's Eels and 'The Look You Give That Guy', and that can only mean that the lovely Padma Lakshmi is on her way to ringside!"

Tess: "Padma may not have won that fight against Decker like she claims, but she DID show plenty of skill in a losing effort."

Cassie: "Absolutely, Tess. No question Lakshmi can box, and there's no question she has the skill to cause just about anyone problems. The official commission scouting report makes that clear."

McCarthy: "The difference is, tonight she's fighting a REAL fighter, not an overrated Dancing Hooker with a head too big to get into the building!"

O'Dell: "Padma into the ring, helped off with the robe to reveal that orange number that had the crowd buzzing last month and is having a similar effect today, and that's 'Uprising' by Muse, and here comes 'The Polish Princess', Leelee Sobieski!"

McCarthy: "I've said it before. This is a girl Weirdo should be pushing to the moon instead of wasting time on no-talents like Decker and Mack!"

O'Dell: "Sobieski taps glove to fist with Mac on her way down the aisle and climbs into the ring. Leelee helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal the familiar black number. The ladies are about ready and it's time to get some picks. Tess favors Leelee. Mac?"

McCarthy: "It's really simple. Padma couldn't beat Decker. Decker's HALF the fighter Sobieski is, so I'm picking Leelee."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "All the ladies in agreement, and we're about to see if they're right. There's the bell. Both ladies looking to work at gunnery range, and no surprise there. Both have a lot of effective length. Sobieski one of the best boxers in the welter division, and, as Cassie pointed out, Padma can box with anyone."

Cassie: "Interesting little chess game going on right now. Both women flat-footed and stalking. Both defending well. All about tactics and positioning."

O'Dell: "Certainly is. Plenty of slickness on display from Padma especially as she angles up on Leelee, forcing Sobieski to move constantly to square. Padma throwing the odd lead right as well, to confuse things a little further."

McCarthy: "Good strategy by Lakshmi. She may not be able to outbox Leelee, but she has a chance. What she DOESN'T want to do is slug with her."

O'Dell: "Both ladies applying pressure, and both picking off and dodging a lot of the leather. Lots of angles being played here. Plenty of feinting and trying to create holes in two very good defenses. Final seconds tick off and there's the bell. A round boxing purists would love. Close, but I think Padma gets the points."

Tess: "Important for Lakshmi to get off to a good start. She's in great shape, but she's giving up quite a few years to Leelee. So far, so good."


O'Dell: "Second underway and the tactical battle resumes. Lakshmi snapping out that long, snake-like jab. Leelee picking it off, countering, but Padma ducking and dodging, baiting traps for the blonde. Sobieski not biting, however, continuing to move her feet, stalking, trying to get square..."

Cassie: "Both girls are scoring some, here, but nobody's hitting anything on the screws. You're seeing some really slick boxing and some excellent defense."

O'Dell: "Definitely some chess being played here, move and counter move, very cerebral stuff from two cerebral fighters..."

McCarthy: "I LOVE these kinds of fights. I was a pretty cerebral fighter myself. I out-THOUGHT a lot of my opponents..."

Cassie: "You couldn't out-think a kindergartener..."

McCarthy: "I'm WARNING you, Scabbo..."

O'Dell: "What's so interesting about this is, there's plenty of aggression here. It's not like the girls are lying back, looking to fight counter. They're both working hard to get their offense going, and, while they ARE scoring in spots, it's the defense that's carrying the day..."

Tess: "Sure is, Jenny. Lakshmi can't get those whippet punches home, and Sobieski can't establish the Front Street jab."

O'Dell: "But both ladies continue to work hard right to the bell. Second in the books. Another close one, but this one, I think, goes to Leelee."

McCarthy: "Which puts our card at 19-19, but the judges could have this thing 20-18 either way."


O'Dell: "We're back to action in the third, and we've got more Fischer/Spassky going on. Sobieski looking to establish that heavy jab, but Padma not having any, continuing to angle up on Leelee, force the blonde to work to square. Lakshmi trying to create openings, but not having a ton of luck. Leelee remaining solid defensively, not falling into any traps."

McCarthy: "And, you're seeing the difference between Sobieski and your typical random Dancing Hooker like Decker. Lakshmi won several rounds off of THAT bimbo just by suckering her. But, Leelee's a REAL fighter and she's not going to fall for it."

O'Dell: "Both girls continuing to work hard. Sobieski banging out that big left and Padma LASHING with those serpent-like punches of hers that seem to strike out from a coil. Both scoring some, but, as Cassie pointed out, not much getting hit square."

Cassie: "This is pretty fun to watch, Jenny. Lots of stuff going on in there that the untrained eye might not see. But, if you know what you're looking at, this is some excellent tactical boxing."

O'Dell: "Certainly is, and, to press the chess analogy one more time, the board doesn't favor either player at the moment. Both still have all their power pieces in position, and neither able to grab an advantage into the final second of the third. Sobieski landing a left, but Lakshmi blocks the right follow and counters with a nice right hook at the bell. Another close one. Padma, I think."

Tess: "Which would put Lakshmi ahead 29-28, but, as Mac said, the judges' cards could have this anywhere from what we have to 30-27 for one of the fighters."


O'Dell: "Fourth round begins with more flat-footed stalking. Both women working hard to create opportunities, but, the defensive skill set on the other side is making those rare indeed."

Tess: "Considering that the tactics haven't changed and the results have been pretty even, how much longer do you think this goes before someone starts taking more chances, Mac? Or might they both play this out right to the finish?"

McCarthy: "I doubt it, Walmart. Both fighters have to be aware that this thing is on pretty even terms, and I don't see both of them being willing to play this string out for ten rounds. The question is, when do you make an adjustment? If I'm Sobieski, I give this time. She has youth on her side and might have an advantage as the fight goes on. If she can get the upper hand and force Padma to get more aggressive...well, that's a scenario you have to like for Leelee."

O'Dell: "Interesting look at though processes going forward, but, in the present, nobody blinking. Both fighters continuing their tactical efforts, moving their feet, stalking flat-footed, taking advantage of what opportunities they can create."

Cassie: "Got to, because there aren't a lot of them."

O'Dell: "Padma all about oily slickness here, using drop steps, back steps, backward slide steps, all to try to get Leelee to fill the space and open herself up. Sobieski too disciplined. Keeping her shoulders square and her hands in position. Pistoning that jab into the tiny windows she can find in the brunette's defenses. Final seconds of another well-fought round come to an end. Leelee close, I think."

Tess: "Which makes it 38-38, if we're right."


O'Dell: "Fifth round begins with more of the same. Both ladies stalking, working hard with the feet. Leelee lands that jab, but can't follow, as Padma blocks the right and counters with one of her own."

Tess: "You get a very Eastern feel from Padma, don't you, Mac? I mean, she's not unorthox like Song..."

Cassie: "And her breath doesn't smell like the putrescent remains of a beached whale, either..."

McCarthy: "No, but I follow what you're saying, Walmart. Her style is a little different than Western fighters. More about guile, about using your opponent's strength against her. Very Eastern."

Cassie: "Song's kind of Eastern, too, in that her breath smells like the East River..."

O'Dell: "Leelee continuing to work that left. Having a bit more success this round. Padma picking spots, fighting more in counter. Same dynamic, but just a change in work rate. The idea here might be to avoid what Mac alluded to last round, Padma wearing down, allowing Leelee to take over."

McCarthy: "If she's smart she's thinking about what I said. I AM the smartest trainer in the FCBA, you know, and the ONLY one to have ALL of her fighters in the Top Five at the same time!"

Cassie: "Tess, have you heard that new song by The Blind Squirrels? It's one of my favorites..."

McCarthy: "What ARE you babbling about, Scabbo?"

O'Dell(sighing): "Final 30 seconds of the fifth. Padma continuing to fight mainly in counter now, but Leelee not willing to get overly aggressive and take the lead. She continues to pick spots carefully right to the bell. And there it is. Sobieski gets her second in a row, but it's another close one."

Tess: 48-47 for Leelee on our cards with five to go."


O'Dell: "Sixth round begins with Leelee and her left hand. Sobieski starting to be able to range in with that heavy jab now. Landing consistentlu as Lakshmi becomes content to work in counter."

McCarthy: "And we might be seeing some of what we talked about earlier. Padma slowing down as this fight goes on. And, again, if that's the case, good scenario for Leelee. This thing is very close right now. Padma hasn't been able to build a lead."

O'Dell: "Sobieski still stalking. Padma still moving the feet, countering when there are openings. Leelee almost all left hands right now. Pop. Pop. Pop. Holding that right in reserve. Not getting too aggressive."

Cassie: "That's what you want to watch right here. Leelee's controlling the round completely with the left. Keep doing what you're doing and take your points."

O'Dell: "Sobieski ranging in with the jab. Padma keeping the hands up. AND LAKSHMI HURTS SOBIESKI WITH A RIGHT HAND!

Tess: "Laser guided straight right from nowhere! A perfect counter punch!"

O'Dell: "And the roles immediately reverse. Padma going to work with both hands, burning some of that energy she saved in the first two minutes. Padma ripping those coiled punches at Leelee, who immediately gives ground for the first time in the fight. Sobieski in a high guard, jabbing back to try to slow Padma's onlaught, but Lakshmi banging away with both hands. Sobieski back to the ropes in the final seconds. Padma a solid right, and there's the bell!"

Cassie: "Two minutes of Sobieski, but Padma stole the round in the final third. All even at 57 with four to go."


O'Dell: "We begin the seventh with more of the stalking action we saw in the first five. Lakshmi getting off first, now, however, STRIKING out with that left, following on with smooth right hands."

Cassie: "Padma calling the match for the first time in the fight. Sobieski a bit hesitant after the last round, and Padma's making that work to her advantage."

O'Dell: "No question of it. Sobieski seems to be waiting just an instant too long, and, before she can get off, Padma's left is on its way. Leelee now fighting in counter like Lakshmi did in the previous round..."

McCarthy: "And to the same effect. The brunette isn't hurting Leelee, but she's scoring more than Sobieski is."

O'Dell: "And, in a fight this close, that's more than enough. Padma now clearly gaining the edge in the chess game. Has Leelee reacting, going onto the defensive much too often. Sobieski unable to get off, and it's Padma in control right to the bell."

Cassie: "And, if we're right, Lakshmi's back in the lead, 67-66.


O'Dell: "We're into the eighth now and Sobieski much more aggressive out of the corner. She's advancing behind that left hand, looking to corner Lakshmi's army and force a decisive battle. Padma back to the defensive, looking to fight counter. Still slick defensively, but letting Leelee fight lead..."

McCarthy: "About time Sobieski starts doing this. I almost got up between rounds and went over to the corner to tell her to get AFTER this girl..."

Tess: "She has two trainers over there..."

McCarthy: "And if they knew what they were doing, she'd have done this LAST round!"

O'Dell: "Leelee beginning to zero in with that left very consistently. Not satisfied with just the left hand like she was in the sixth, though. She's dropping in rights, creating flurries wherever she can. Lakshmi landing in spots in counter, but may be fading now. Sobieski's consistent pressure may finally be getting to the older woman."

Cassie: "Now might be the time for Leelee to look to close. This fight is close and no one knows what those cards look like."

O'Dell: "Good point, Cassie, and one that might well be in the back of Sobieski's mind. Leelee banging some body with the right now, working the body shots off the left jab. Lakshmi still slick, still hard to hit, but Sobieski scoring more often than in previous rounds, and Lakshmi's work rate is noticeably lower. Final seconds of the eighth round tick away and Sobieski pitches a shutout for her best round of the fight."

Tess: "76-76 on our cards with two to go. Anybody's fight, obviously."


O'Dell: "The ninth round begins with Sobieski back to the lead. Using the big left hand to call the tune. Lakshmi again fighting counter. Picking her spots. Still landing some good stuff, just not in the volume of the earlier rounds. Leelee a solid right AND PADMA LANDS A COUNTER THAT ROCKS SOBIESKI!"

Tess: "She threw that thing almost from her hip!"

O'Dell: "And now she's throwing with both hands and from all angles, looking to finish. Sobieski backing up, covering up, thrown completely onto the defensive. Padma sends sweat flying with a solid right to the head and Sobieski answers with a bomb of her own! That one sent Padma back a step and here we go! Both girls unloading heavy shell in the middle of the ring!"

Cassie: "We need directions to Pier Six, Jenny, because we're no longer playing chess, we're playing Louisville Sluggers Upside The Head!"

O'Dell: "And Padma with a hard right that backs up Leelee. Sobieski with short left hook that shook Padma. Crowd on it's feet as Leelee lands a big flurry! Padma answers with an overhand right and gets backed up again with a right hand counter. Sobieski coming forward, eats a short left and STAGGERS PADMA WITH A THREE-PUNCH COMBINATION! Padma responds with a left-right of her own. Leelee fires back AND DOWN GOES PADMA!"

McCarthy: "Right hook!"

O'Dell: "Padma pools face first at the blonde's feet! Sobieski to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Six. Lakshmi not moving. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's over! You're winner by KO9, 'The Polish Princess', Leelee Sobieski!"

McCarthy: "Let's check the replay on this one, Jenny. Watch the left-right from Lakshmi. Sobieski answers with a hook to the midsection. Padma bends forward just a bit as a result and watch Leelee's right hand. BAM! Hook right on the chin and Padma goes in at her feet, and can't come close to beating the count, a combination, I think, of the punch, the accumulation of damage, and exhaustion."


O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Jenny McCarthy!"

McCarthy: "I've got out winner, Leelee Sobieski, and, Leelee, heck of a fight!"

Leelee: "She's very slick, very slippery, an excellent boxer, but she's got sneaky power, too. You have to be careful not to get too aggressive with her, because she can get you in trouble, but if you aren't aggressive enough, she'll pile up rounds on you. Fortunately, I can box with her. I kept it close while I waited for my chances to take her out of there, and I finally cashed one in."

McCarthy: "Not a lot of welters who can box with a girl like Padma..."

Leelee: "Well, that's one of the things I bring to the table. There are girls in the division who hit harder than me, but there aren't many who can box AND hit like I can."

McCarthy: "What's next for Leelee Sobieski?"

Leelee(smiling): "I'd say 'Talk to my management', but I have a feeling you aren't going to do that..."


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