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27 July 2014 Shanna Moakler vs Leelee Sobieski

Page history last edited by Archer844 9 years, 7 months ago

Shanna Moakler 02.jpg Leelee Sobieski 04.jpg

"DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK AT THE ASYLUM" PPV

(Site: Asylum Arena. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

Posted by Results By Lookout! Words By Wiz on July 27, 2014, 8:28 pm,

BEFORE:

"No pressure on me," says Shanna with a gorgeous smile. "Nobody's giving me a chance. But, that's because they don't know what I know. But, pretty soon now, they all will."

"I know what she's about," says Leelee without a trace of a smile. "She wants to get in there and brawl, push, shove, slop right hands, land something lucky and put herself on the map. But I wouldn't count on Shanna getting lucky. At least not tonight."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and..."

McCarthy: "What is THAT noise?"

O'Dell: "That would be 'Something Good' by Alt-J..."

McCarthy: "I think 'Something Just Like The Sound Made By A Dying Musk Ox' would be a more appropriate title..."

O'Dell(sighing): "And that can only mean that one of Alt-J's biggest fans AND one of Mac's fellow Playmates, Shanna Moakler, is on her way to the ring..."

McCarthy: "Moakler was a mere Playmate of the MONTH, not a Playmate of the YEAR...or, in MY case, the Playmate of the Freakin' CENTURY!"

Tess: "Is your mic on, Cassie?"

Cassie: "Too easy, Tess. Too easy..."

O'Dell(sighing more deeply): "Moakler into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a purple number that shows off a still-rocking-at-39 body, and that's 'Uprising' by Muse, and here comes 'The Polish Princess', Leelee Sobieski!"

McCarthy: "Now here's a REAL fighter! She fought Big Bad Gena Lee and lost just like Moakler, but, UNLIKE drama queen Shanna, she didn't milk the fight for TV time or complain about Gena's style. She lost a decision and she was stand up in the press conference!"

O'Dell: "Leelee bumps glove to Mac's fist on her way to the ring as usual and climbs into the ring. She's helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that black two-piece she likes, and the ladies are about ready. Let's get some picks. Tess favors Leelee. Mac, are you going to surprise us?"

McCarthy: "No way. Sobieski's a top-flight welter who deserves better than hanging with these Dancing Hookers. Moakler's a wannabe with ZERO talent. Sobieski wins easy."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess."

O'Dell: "And, there's the bell. Leelee immediately out to establish the left jab, but Moakler not having any. Shanna closing quickly, tying up, banging in the clinch. Sobieski shoves her off, lands a right hand, but Shanna almost lunging forward to tie up again..."

McCarthy: "Is this a boxing match or a wrestling match! Stop letting her hold and hit, Ref!"

O'Dell: "Referee breaks the fighters apart. Leelee again back to the jab...AND THERE'S A LEFT-RIGHT AND DOWN GOES SHANNA!"

Cassie: "Nice combination by Leelee. Stopped Moakler with the left and DRILLED her with the right."

O'Dell: "Leelee to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Moakler to her knees. Six. Seven. And she's back to her feet..."

McCarthy: "Will miracles never cease. Showing a little HEART. At least she's not Carrie Prejean..."

O'Dell: "Referee gives her the mandatory and waives Leelee forward. Sobieski wasting no time climbing on, backing Shanna into the ropes and pinning her there. Moakler in a high guard, puts the body on sale and Leelee buying in BULK! Sobieski hammering away at the ribs and midsection, bringing Moakler's guard down, then BANGING home a right that staggers Shanna! Referee looking closely as Sobieski goes back to work downstairs. Left hook swivels Shanna's head and IT'S OVER! Referee has seen enough and he stops it! Your winner by TKO1 is 'The Polish Princess', Leelee Sobieski!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I'm with our winner, Leelee Sobieski, and, Leelee, you didn't waste any time tonight..."

Leelee: "Like I said before the fight, I knew what she was going to do. She wanted to grab and slop right hands. There are two ways to deal with a girl like that. You can box her. Bust her up. Wear her down, and either finish her late or shut her out on the cards. But, when you do that, you play into her hands and give her time to get lucky. So, I decided to go right after her and take her out of there. My way works better."