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31 August 2014 Sara Jean Underwood vs Leighton Meester

Page history last edited by Vassago 9 years, 6 months ago

 

"BAZZ AND BUNNIES AT THE ASYLUM"

 

Posted by The Grand Wizard on August 31, 2014, 9:41 pm

 

BEFORE:

"Kendrick wasn't a fluke," says Sara, eyes flashing. "I can fight. And I'm going to prove it again by knocking out Leighton tonight."

"It's about performing," says Leighton with a nod. "It's about taking care of business. That's what they expect from their fighters here at Front Street, and it's what I'm going to do tonight."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that's 'Cruise' by Florida Georgia Line, and here comes the lovely Sara Jean Underwood!"

Cassie: "Underwood, of course, is a former Playmate of the Year..."

McCarthy: "Who ALSO has all of ONE career win, while I, THE GREATEST FIGHTING PLAYMATE OF ALL-TIME, sit at ringside and am UNFAIRLY DENIED ENTRY INTO THE HALL OF FAME!"

Tess: "Here we go..."

McCarthy: "SHUT IT, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys. Underwood into the ring, helped off with the robe to reveal a very 'Playboy'-like bikini, a red one with white bunnies on it...and that's 'Somebody To Love'..."

McCarthy: "Again, that is NOT 'Somebody To Love'. THAT song goes...what's that you're shoving in my face, Scabbo?"

Cassie: "That's a federal court injunction obtained by Grace Slick preventing you from ever singing one of her songs again..."

McCarthy: "WHAT? Let me SEE that! Siri, call my ATTORNEY!"

O'Dell: "You know, SOME play-by-play announcers DON'T think they're in a Fellini film every time they do an event. Or so I've been told. The song you are hearing, fans, is, INDEED, titled 'Somebody To Love' and this version is sung by Robin Thicke and the lady on her way to the ring, 'The Marco Island Mauler', Leighton Meester!"

Tess: "Meester in her third fight at Front Street. Currently 1-1..."

McCarthy: "And if she falls to 1-2, she'll be out the door like all the other flavor-of-the-month flyweights Weirdo's FAILED with!"

Cassie: "Shouldn't you be talking to your attorney?"

McCarthy: "I got VOICEMAIL!"

Tess: "Shocker..."

McCarthy: "Shut up, Walmart!"

O'Dell: "Drink up AGAIN, boys, as Leighton Meester is helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal a pink and red number that shows she's clearly in shape for this one. We're about ready, ladies. Let's get some picks. Tess favors Leighton. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Even one of Weirdo's hookers has to be favored over Underwood..."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess."

O'Dell: "Our ladies are unanimous. Let's see if they're right. Off the bell, Leighton after Sara, looking to locate with the left. Underwood showing good movement, using slide steps, forcing Leighton to try to match footwork. Sara on her toes, snapping jabs. Leighton more flat footed, in forward aspect. Sara sliding, jabbing, dropping in a right hand, sliding off center."

Tess: "This is a bit of a different strategy for Sara, Mac. She was all about forward motion against Kane..."

McCarthy: "That's because she's not stupid! We Playmates are a lot smarter than people give us credit for! She knows Meester isn't a real flyweight. She's a bantam and the only way she's making this weight is on Weirdo's rigged scales! Sara doesn't want to slug with her."

O'Dell: "Underwood getting a nice rhythm going, flurry, move, weight for Leighton to re-position, then flurry again. Meester landing as well, but mostly single shot stuff. Having trouble squaring Sara."

Cassie: "This is very good stuff from Sara. I'd actually expected to see a lot more aggression and slugging, as Tess said, and I didn't expect that to go well for Underwood."

O'Dell: "Heading down the stretch and Sara still in charge out there, making Meester hold fire and miss. Landing in combination. Leighton looking to match the footwork, get square, but not having any success. Final seconds tick off and there's the bell."

Tess: "Early 10-9 lead for Underwood, who's trying to get Playboy on the board."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Back to action in the second and Underwood still showing the slippery. She's not bouncing and circling, not legging, just using footwork to stay off square. Meester working behind the left now, no longer coming forward, wants to box at middle distances..."

McCarthy: "THIS should be entertaining. One of Weirdo's Flyweight Failures trying to make an in-fight adjustment..."

Tess: "Again, Leighton is 1-1 since she came to Front Street. She's hardly a failure..."

McCarthy: "Truck, quarter the screen, get a camera on Lavigne and find Britney's sister. She's in the arena somewhere. Put up a still of Seyfried, and then put this girl in the bottom corner and run the 'Sesame Street' music. The only change we need to make in the song is that 'One of these things IS like the others'."

O'Dell: "No singing! And, if we can concentrate our attentions on the ring, we'll see that a little bit of a chess match has developed..."

McCarthy: "A chess match between unarmed opponents..."

Tess: "What does that even MEAN?"

O'Dell: "A-HEM! IN the ring, we're seeing a nice tactical battle now. Underwood trying to stay off square and land as Leighton tries to square up. Meester matching footwork, getting to her spots much better this round, and managing to score in combination."

Cassie: "Both fighters able to make these terms work for them, Jenny. Both having their moments."

O'Dell: "That they are. It's good, crisp leather that's landing from both sides. Both fighters taking their points where they can find them. Neither forcing the pace. Both getting in rhythm and both scoring well right to the bell. Not a lot in it, but Meester's round, I think."

Tess: "And that means we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Into the third and the battle joined again. Movement from Underwood, Meester behind the left looking to square up. Both ladies again having success on these terms, and we've got ourselves a boxing match!"

McCarthy: "Between unarmed opponents..."

Tess: "Again, what does that even MEAN?"

McCarthy: "Shut up, Walmart, you and your stupid Hall of Fame!"

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys. I suspect the entire audience is going to be blotto by the time this is over, and, trust me, when it IS over, I'm going to quickly attempt to join them. Meester tying to apply pressure. Sara with excellent footwork, getting to spots and making Leighton re-set."

Cassie: "Meester keeping at it, though. Working hard, constantly moving. That's what she has to do."

O'Dell: "Leighton finding with the jab, then using the right as follow. Sara continuing to create a moving target and score as Leighton re-positions. It's another good, tactical round for both fighters. As we come down the stretch, both still getting their share of the points. And there's the bell. Another close round, but Meester again."

Tess: "And that puts her in the lead 29-28 after three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Into the fourth and the pattern is set. It's boxing on both sides as Underwood angles and Meester looks to square. Both girls again having success scoring points, neither landing anything big, but they're both able to score in combination."

Cassie: "This has to be encouraging stuff for Underwood. This is a girl who lost her first NINE fights before beating Kendrick, and, in a lot of those bouts, she didn't look good. She was stopped in her first eight, and in five of those she didn't make it past the fifth. She seemed to be turning things around a little this year. Took Kane the distance then beat Kendrick, and, tonight she's definitely not being outclassed..."

O'Dell: "That, she is not. Sara getting work done, and in a clever, sound way. Nothing sloppy about what either fighter's doing out there. Both setting up punches. Both solid defensively. Neither trying to do too much."

McCarthy: "Let's not get carried away, though. These are both Class D fighters. They just happen to be in against one another, so they don't LOOK like Class D fighters...that's the way Weirdo books, and it's why a stable with exactly two good fighters wins fights."

O'Dell: "Leighton doing a bit of body work now and again this stanza. First sustained work downstairs we've seen from either girl. Sara keeping her efforts focused on the head, finding openings, angling up very well, showing footwork that's much improved. Final seconds tick away here in the fourth and there's the bell. Another close one, but Sara gets it."

Tess: "And we're tied again, at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth round underway and our boxing match continues. Meester looking comfortable at middle distance, working that left hand. Underwood continuing to use her feet to create angles and score as Leighton tries to square her."

Tess: "As much as we've pointed out that both girls are having success on these terms, Mac, isn't this an advantage for Underwood, since Leighton's the more physical girl?"

McCarthy: "Absolutely. Underwood has the terms she WANTS. Meester's doing the best she can on those terms."

O'Dell: "And 'the best she can' is pretty well. Leighton getting her work done, having the better of things this round. Going body a little again this round. Scoring from her spots with both hands, everything working off the left. AND THERE'S A RIGHT HAND UNDERWOOD AND DOWN GOES MEESTER!"

McCarthy: "Start up the trade rumors! All you indie flys, get ready for your phones to ring! Weirdo's about to send another one packing!"

O'Dell: "Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Meester to her feet at eight and takes the mandatory..."

Cassie: "That was a GREAT read from Sara Jean. She waited for Leighton to hook body with the left and just RIPPED the right into the space..."

O'Dell: "Referee going to let it continue and Sara Jean coming on strong. Backs Leighton up and goes to work on the ropes. Meester in a tight guard, puts the body on sale, but Underwood isn't buying at any price. She's looking to finish here. Hammering away. Banging punches off Leighton's gloves. Final seconds ticking off, though, and Meester's going to end the round on her feet. Big turnaround for Sara, though."

Tess: "Certainly was. She was about to go behind a point, and the knockdown changed all that. It's now 48-46 in Underwood's favor after five."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth round begins with a much more aggressive Sara Jean. Underwood after Leighton now, backing her up with a flurry. Meester still unsteady, giving ground, and Underwood grabbing all the canvas she can."

Cassie: "This is the Sara Jean we've been seeing in previous fights. Coming forward, looking to impose will."

O'Dell: "Leighton backing and circling, trying to stay off the ropes. Sara Jean cutting the ring, crowding, forcing Meester back, landing solid right hands. Underwood taking complete control of the fight, grabbing lead for the first time and reducing Leighton to the occasional counter."

McCarthy: "Remember when Weirdo was thinking about dumping all his flyweights and abandoning the division? That was a good idea, but it didn't go far enough. He should have dumped this whole mess except Torv and Sobieski, fired all his trainers, and pushed those two and Britney."

O'Dell: "Underwood forcing Meester back to the ropes now. Leighton covering up. Sara Jean again banging away with both hands. Meester trying to rally, but being suppressed by Underwood's volume. Sara letting both hands go as we head down the stretch. Underwood not quite all in but very close, buffeting Meester, banging punches off that high guard right to the bell! Shutout round for Sara Jean, who bounces back to the corner!"

Tess: "58-55 with four to go. Sara now in control."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "Here we go in the seventh and Underwood again after Meester, and now Leighton not going to give ground willingly and it's ON in the middle of the ring. Hammer. And. Tongs!"

Cassie: "Meester has to do this, Jenny. She got bullied around last round and she can't allow that. Has to stand in there and punch for respect."

O'Dell: "And there's plenty of punching going on from both sides. You could fight this thing in a phone booth if you could find one. Toe to toe, banging away, Meester again working some body and then working her way upstairs. Sara now taking a little body herself. It's back and forth with heavy leather. Nothing sloppy. Everything sound, but both women firing the heavy guns."

Tess: "This isn't just a statement from Leighton, it's one from Sara, too. She's not going back a step either. She's trying to keep control of the fight and Leighton trying to grab it away."

O'Dell: "And we come down the stretch with a good right from Sara and a follow up right from Leighton! Both sent sweat flying, and still, neither fighter backs up a step. Meester digging body in the final seconds. Sara a hard left hook. There's the bell! Quite a round and another close one, but Leighton got it, I think."

McCarthy: "Didn't turn the tide, but she stopped the bleeding at least. 67-65 for Underwood after seven."

ROUND EIGHT:

O'Dell: "Eighth begins right back in that metaphorical phone booth. Underwood still pressuring and Leighton not taking a backward step. Meester again going body on Sara Jean, and Underwood responding in kind. It's getting pretty grim in there, Mac..."

McCarthy: "This is 'grind it out' stuff. All about who wants this thing more. Easiest thing in the world to do right now is to take a step back, get some space, try to get her off you. Standing in there and taking the punishment is hard. But it's what both fighters need to do."

O'Dell: "And what both of them ARE doing. Both determined to impose will. Underwood with a big flurry that backed Meester up a step and DOWN GOES SARA!"

Cassie: "Right hand counter. Blew Underwood right to her back!"

O'Dell: "Meester to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Sara Jean to her feet. She gets the mandatory and the referee waives Leighton forward. Meester immediately to work, using heavy poke to drive Sara before her, force her back to the ropes and go to work. Body on sale with Underwood in a high guard and Leighton buying in BULK! Meester lathering the lats, ripping the ribs, thumping the tummy. Sara Jean leaning forward, trying to cover some of that up. Meester working her way upstairs as we come down the stretch. Leighton now pounding at Sara's gloves in the final seconds, and there's the bell! And this is turning into quite the fight, ladies."

Tess: "Sure is, and it's all even at 76 with two to go."

ROUND NINE:

O'Dell: "Ninth underway and Meester now all offense. She's forward behind the left, backing Sara up, hooking her body with the right hand and banging home heavy shot upstairs. Underwood's legs not all the way back and Meester taking full advantage."

Cassie: "Leighton looking to finish, no question about that, Jenny. She wants to put this thing away right now."

O'Dell: "Sara grimly fighting back, forced over to the defensive, but countering in spots. Meester landing some of the heaviest shot of the fight, though. She's squaring Underwood up as well as she has all night, and she's scoring heavily with both hands. Underwood backed to the ropes now, and she doesn't want to be there..."

Tess: "Absolutely not. Leighton's teeth actually bared now as she's reefing right hands, pounding Sara's body, then working back up top."

O'Dell: "Underwood still game, still landing the odd counter. Still fighting hard, but she's taking a licking right now. Leighton landing leather to just about every legal part of Sara Jean's body, hooking that belly, then dropping a right over the guard to the head. Underwood shipping it and staying on her feet, but she IS shipping it. Final seconds tick away and there's the bell. Just about total dominance from Leighton."

McCarthy: "86-85 with one to go. Still anyone's fight."

ROUND TEN:

O'Dell: "We're into the tenth now and Meester again working forward, finding Underwood with the left and banging in overhand rights off it. Underwood fighting to hold canvas, banging back, seems to have her legs back now..."

Cassie: "Fight is very close and both girls' corners have told them so. This round could tell the tale, and they both know it."

O'Dell: "Meester digging body again, punishing Sara's midsection...AND DOWN GOES UNDERWOOD!"

McCarthy: "Right uppercut. Bent her over with that left and knocked her to her back with the uppercut."

O'Dell: "Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Sara up at eight. Takes the mandatory, and here comes Leighton. Meester all about finishing now. Slowly working Sara back to the ropes. The Playmate fighting for every inch of canvas, but Leighton advancing until she has her pinned. Right hand, Meester snaps back Sara's head. Left hook to the cheek sends sweat flying. Underwood again in a high guard putting the body on sale, but Leighton all about the upstairs and she sends Sara staggering with a big flurry! Underwood nearly went down again! Referee looking in. Big right hand, Leighton and IT'S OVER! Referee has seen enough and bundles Sara to safety! Your winner by TKO10 is 'The Marco Island Mauler', Leighton Meester!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Leighton Meester, and, Leighton, didn't look like you were going to let this one get away..."

Leighton(shaking her head): "Not this time, Tess. She fought hard, and she's better than people think, but I wasn't having it tonight. I knew if I kept at her, I'd get her. It was only a matter of time. Took longer than I thought, but it happened."

Tess: "What's next for you?"

Leighton: "I'm ready for anyone in the division. Whomever my management books me against, I'm ready." 

 

 

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