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31 October 2014 Katy Perry vs Charlize Theron

Page history last edited by Archer844 9 years, 2 months ago


Posted by Lookout! Boxing on October 31, 2014, 10:02 am.


Charlize Theron (Blnd, 39yo, 5'91/2”/Ginny's Academy)) vs Katy Perry. (Brun, 30yo, 5'8”/Front Street Gym)
Words: simgrrl; result-Lookout

Before: Women picketing the press conference like throwbacks to the 60's; signs crying, “Melons 2 for $1”, “Cantaloupe+Honeydew=Perry” also, “Nice Voice, Great Lungs!” It's clear somel were hired by “Ginny's Academy” others just showing up to walk around and get their picture taken. Inside, Ginny holding forth at the microphone, trumpeting her triumph (i.e., “Finally getting Katy Perry in a ring with The Golden Goddess, Charlize Theron.”) Ginny extolls Theron's long list of accomplishments: numerous titles won “too many to list in the time we have,” the seemingly endless list of “big name fighters she's beaten” and, of course, “two Oscar nominations and a golden statuette.”

Sadly, outside events have overtaken Ginny and her Academy. That very morning, it was leaked to the press that Katy Perry would be the Super Bowl halftime show this year. Twitter blew up at the news (#SuperBowlBoobs).

Theron was, to put it mildly, 'upset' at being upstaged. Ginny was furious for spending money on a show nobody was paying attention to. And Katy? Perry was over the moon and the Wizard was laughing his @ss off!

While Theron made the round of talk shows hyping the fight, Perry stayed out of sight; basking in the glow of the NFL's big reveal. Theron? She just fumed! Sharon Stone, Halle Berry and Teri Hatcher put on brave faces as the good soldiers they are, showing up on TV to hype the fight and puff up Theron's record (slightly tarnished by recent results) of success. Notable by their absences were Jennifer 'J-Law' Lawrence and Cat Bell - both of whom were busy hyping their own fights in the upcoming PPV event. As were Anna Kendrick and Elizabeth Olsen, likewise scheduled to 'swap leather' with other pulchritudinous pretties. Indeed, over half of the Academy would be in action, leaving the heavy lifting to 'management' (something they are ill equipped to do!)

Charlize put on a brave face, lauding Perry's “outstanding singing career” and “a pretty good record” (15-6). But Theron bristled when a reporter pointed out that, “Perry's undefeated in the BBU and she's KOed everyone she faced.”

It didn't get any better when a brave reporter ventured, “Charlize, are you worried about Katy's punching power?”

Charlize sighed. She was tired of questions about Perry and wanted to talk about her favorite subject, herself! Still, she politely answered the question. “If you bother to check, you'll see that - aside from Liz Hurley who hasn't been active in the FCBA for some time - everyone Perry beat in England was either a singer, a model or an unknown. Not near the quality of opponents she's faced since she came home. What's her record in the FCBA for the past two years?” (silence) “She's 6-3 since November of 2012,” Charlize said, answering her own question. “Hardly #1 contender. And the opposition hasn't been all that tough. She's a nice girl, but she's certainly not in MY class!”
* * *
Perry declined to hold a press conference about the fight, spending most of the time she wasn't “training hard for Theron” by talking about her Super Bowl halftime show. The questions about Charlize she either blew off totally, or dismissed with a few words, a shrug, or a casual flip of her open hand. When she spoke of Theron (at all) it's tone was characterized by the media as being “dismissive” or even, “derogatory.”
A few examples: “My earliest recollection of even hearing of Charlize Theron was when my parents took me to see 'That Thing You Do' for my 12th birthday. I was really excited to see Tom Hanks. The songs were outstanding. The girlfriend (Theron's role) I guess she was OK, but I really didn't notice her at all.”

“Theron's never spoken to me outside of one time that I can recall. Maybe once in passing at an awards show? Maybe we were at the same restaurant for dinner some night? In the ladies room? You probably should ask her. I mean, if she got a look at my tits, it'd be memorable. If I happened to accidentally see hers? No way they'd make an impression! But I don't think I've ever been on her radar until I started boxing. She certainly wasn't on mine 'til after I whipped Lawrence's over-hyped hynie. All of a sudden it's 'Charlize called you out' and 'Ooooh, did you see what Theron said about you?' Well, duh! No. I don't read anything she says about me because I don't care what she thinks. I've my own career to take care of. She's just an old movie actress trying to stay young by stealing another women's fans. I mean, really, Theron's so last century!”
* * *
If that weren't sufficient to get Charlize's competitive juices flowing, her own stablemates were weighing in on questions asked them on their own publicity events. Charlize's one-time 'bestie', Catherine 'Cat' Bell, and Theron's young protege, Jennifer Lawrence, were both flacking their own fights when they were ambushed with questions about Theron-Perry.
J-Law's face turned beet red when an interviewer reminded her, “Perry owned you in 2011.” She huffed and puffed and mumbled something, then suddenly brightened and recalled, “After she beat me that night, Katy was so full of herself she predicted that she would “...be the one who puts a long predicted end to Theron as a fighter.” Not satisfied, J-Law added, “and claimed she'd ...beat her into retirement in three rounds...” Jen smiled, proud of her recall. “I hope I'm there to see if she can live up to her boast. I doubt it'll be anywhere near as easy as she thinks it will.”
* * *
Cat Bell was on a morning talk show with Kelly Ripa when Kelly asked, “What do you think of this upcoming fight between Katy and Charlize?” Cat shifted uncomfortably on her stool, looking like she wanted to reach over and strangle the little blond troublemaker, but finally answered. “I think Charlize was really thrown for a loop when they gave Perry the Super Bowl halftime show. She'd been after Perry for a couple of years; practically begging her to fight. Katy'd been putting her off and putting her off...it was making Char crazy. Then all of a sudden, the fight is on! Charlize hadn't been training, really wasn't even thinking about fighting Perry; then, BOOM, it's signed and sealed. I don't know how it's going to come out, but I think Katy Perry is going to give her a hard time. She sure pounded Jen Lawrence like cheap veal a couple of years ago, and Jen's no easy mark!”
Ripa persisted. “Why do you think Charlize is fixated on Perry? Maybe because she did a number on her new girl, Lawrence?”

Cat blushed at being relegated to 'ex-girlfriend' status, and rolled her eyes. “I doubt Charlize even gave a thought to what happened to J-Law. She's doesn't care about anyone but herself, you know.” Ripa looked surprised. Cat went on, “I always thought it was because Charlize is getting up in years. She'll hit the big 4-0 next year! She saw Perry out there singing, dancing, hosting Saturday Night Live and thought, 'I'd like to have that fan base' and probably assumed when she beat Perry in the ring, some... maybe a lot... of Perry's fans would become her fans. Remember, most of the kids who follow Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus and Hayden Panettiere never heard of Charlize Theron. They were born after she won her Oscar and none of her films are big at the box office - not like 'Hungar Games' or 'X-men' that made Lawrence a household name. Think about it. Ten years ago if you saw 'Snow White' and heard Charlize's name, you just assume Theron was the lead. Now she's the wicked step-mother or the evil queen, or some other 'supporting' role. She's no longer 'The Golden Goddess' she's just another 'Golden Oldie'.”

Ripa gasped, “Are you saying Charlize is jealousof Jen and Katy's success?”

Cat nodded, “Damn right. Oh, sorry; can I say that on live TV?”

“You just did, hon,” Kelly grinned. “Folks, after this commercial we'll be right back with our next guest, Pauly Shore. Thanks Cat.”

“Wait! Don't you want to hear about my fight with Nicola McLean next weekend?”

Kelly looked blank. “Who? No, sorry. We're going to a commercial. Come back when you fight somebody I've heard of and we'll talk.” Kelly pats Cat's thigh condescendingly and the screen goes black.

** *

Our reporter is walking backstage through the locker room area when he hears a familiar voice behind one of the doors.

Man In The Hat: "You all ready, kid?"

Katy: "Sure, Wiz."

Man In The Hat: "You know who that is you're gonna be lookin' at across the ring, right? That's Charlize Freakin' Theron. She has the record for wins, and it'll never be broken. She has the record for titles and has won a pile of 'em at two weights. She's the greatest of all time and there's no debatin' that. Now, let me tell you somethin' ELSE, kid. SHE CAN'T BEAT YOU!"

With that, the door opens and the Man In The Hat comes through it.

Man In The Hat: "What are you doin' back here, Smackey! Get out there! Big fight's gonna be startin'."


Prefight: Charlize introduced first, wearing her favorite green bikini, bare feet, black gloves. She's joined by Sharon Stone, Teri Hatcher and her 'cutwoman' Nurse Sunny McKay. Perry in a leopard-print top with wide shoulder straps, twist-tied at jugs; leopard-print bikini bottom; leopard print shoes and white gloves. Black hair long and loose. Katy's not shy about putting her juggs 'out there' and she presents quite a contrast to the far more modestly endowed, older, blonde. Perry's accompanied to the ring by trainers Jewel Kilcher (a former stablemate of Theron's) and Neve Campbell. Also along are Kristen Stewart (Theron's co-star in 'Snow White') with Brooklyn Decker, Daniela Ruah and Kat 'Double D' Dennings. In Kilcher and Stewart, Perry has two advisers who know Theron and her psyche better than anyone. Decker and Ruah have both had recent experience in the ring with the 'Golden Goddess', so Perry can call on them too. Katy should be as well prepared as anyone could be for what is expected to be a tough fight.
* * *
During R1: Perry at the bell loping to center ring and staking out her piece of turf. Theron more casual, walking up and gliding gracefully to her left behind a piston-like jab. Perry's head snapping back as Charlize's jab lands over and over. POP, PEK, PIK! Perry shrugging it off, flicking out her own left, though with less behind it; but it's enough to annoy and distract Theron. Both fighters circling, each popping the jab with a professional snap! Perry tries a tentative right. Theron blocks. Left hook Charlize. Brushed aside by Katy. Both women on the balls of her feet, bouncing, dancing, sticking and moving laterally. Halfway through the round there's nothing to separate the two; more Perry popping and Theron thrusting. Obviously neither is going to take a chance and give her opponent an opening to exploit. Fans who expected a head-hunting donnybrook from the opening bell are dismayed as both women forgo the dramatic for the safe and sane. It's not skyrockets and fireworks; it's more like rocket science. The final minute Katy Perry up-tempos; stringing together a series of combinations; punching that 'suspect' Charlize paunch or targeting Theron's notoriously 'vulnerable' ta-ta's. End of the first (tactical) round, Perry books the points by a slender 10-9 margin. (Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Theron).
* * *
R2: Both women again uber-cautious from the bell. Theron circling behind her jab, Perry bouncing in-out; jumping in to punch Charlize's puppies, then back to frustrate Theron's response. Neither hurt, but neither accomplishing much in the opening minute - though to be fair, ringside patrons are screaming and hollering, excited every time Perry's big top bounces up and down! Judges aren't supposed to award points for that...but they can't fail to notice. Will it pay dividends later? Midway, Charlize switches things up and it shows immediate payback! She stops circling and reverses, catching Perry flatfooted long enough for the blond to dig a right to the breadbasket. Katy stunned by the punch more than hurt, but it got a huge react from the “Goddess Groupies” in the crowd. Theron trying to capitalize, whipping a flurry of lefts and rights that force Katy to cover up behind her gloves with her butt in the ropes. Charlize backs off after picking up a few points, gesturing to Perry to 'come on'. The brunette walks out and they trade at long range, neither willing to risk anything dangerous so early in the fight. Charlize establishing her jab, keeping Katy off her body for the most part. But when Perry does manage to close, she digs a strong left hook to the abs and sweeps a right across Theron's perky bikini top. Charlize frowning, quickly unleashes a rapid-fire combination that rattles Katy's cage. Perry loping off smiling, knowing that 'shot across the bow' not only got Charlize's attention but it drew instant counter fire. Late. Perry outmaneuvering Charlize with a little slick footwork - which was supposed to be one of Theron's advantages! Theron frustrated, unable to out leg the shorter brunette as Perry backs Charlize into a corner. Again the brunette pins the blond up high with her right forearm across the chest while she works on her tanned belly with left hooks. Theron red-faced, throws Perry off and jogs to center ring where she has to back up behind her jab, luring Katy away from her corner. Once at center ring, Charlize feints the left hook and when Perry bites on the deception, Theron lands probably her best punch of the round, a straight right to the jaw! This time Perry's clinch isn't offensive, she's cuddling up to Charlize to buy time. Theron pounding lat with both hands at the bell; coming out of her shell long enough to take the round - clearly but close.
* * *
R3: Theron upping her energy level again, pushing harder; slowly separating herself from Perry. The jab is firmer, the right coming into play more often. Nothing dramatic, a casual fan may not even notice, but experts see the small, subtle, adjustments she's making to take advantage of Perry's more formulaic - even robotic - approach. Katy still relentlessly hunting puppies - everyone who puts on gloves knows the way to Theron's heart is thru her bosom! 'Kill the puppies and the b###h will die' is an oft-quoted approach of 'Theron Killer' Ashley Judd after a stunning June 2001 TKO of Charlize in Nashville - her only win in four tries at the 'Golden Goddess' - but one for the ages! Perry's taken a page from Judd's playbook; the same one Peta Wilson used for consecutive wins in 2002. Perry's nobody's fool and sn't bashful about borrowing from others if it helps get what she wants! But Theron's not standing around letting Perry take advantage; she's got long 'Golden Goddess' legs and uses them this round. Katy tries her same tactics from the prior round, but instead of letting herself be pinned in a corner, Charlize reverses to put Katy in a corner! Charlize pounding Perry's body up and down, keeping her back on the turnbuckles. Katy forced to clinch, wrapping Charlize up high to trap her arms 'til the referee is forced to come break them. Theron pops a couple of jabs, then legs it out of range, dancing and jabbing her way through most of the rest of the round. It's a virtuoso performance from a woman who's worn the lightweight crown 14 times, the welterweight belt 11 times and even the middleweight diadem (2002 from Christy Brinkley). Katy doing enough to avoid a catastrophe, but Charlize distancing herself from the youngster; taking a second consecutive round!
* * *
R4: Back and forth action! Perry's corner looking concerned during the break; gesturing and pointing out everything she's been doing wrong for the past two rounds. Katy responds by getting on top of Theron from the bell, grinding away to the body, trying to carry out Jewel's demand to, “take away her legs.” Perry doing less dancing around, instead setting down and power-punching Charlize's body. Theron bulled backward from the opening bell, having trouble getting off the ropes with Perry's weight on her and her fists pumping piston-like into that golden torso. But once Theron manages to fight her way off the ropes in the second round, she's the old Charlize of the second and third rounds once more! Rangy, long-legged blond fighting out of an upright stance, popping Katy's nose and mouth with the jab as she circles to her left, forcing Katy's right to 'sit and stay' at her cheek to protect a swelling right eye. Every so often, Theron will bring that sweeping right hand up under Katy's left elbow as she extends on her own jab, the THUD and THUMP of leather against leopard skin is audible in the nearly hushed arena as fans on the edges of their seat await a break in the near-deadlock contest. Final minute sees Katy wrest control of the round from Theron, again using a straight ahead approach to largely nullify Theron's movement. Perry finds that, even coming at the blond obliquely, puts her in striking range and as Theron tries to turn away of spin out of danger, Katy can still reach her body with one, perhaps two, blows before Theron escapes her shorter reach. Time and again, Perry will head feint one way, then step the other, catching Charlize when she guesses wrong with combinations to the body. The mid-round change of tactics works to Katy's benefit and by the end of the round, Charlize is mouth-breathing, her chest heaving; having trouble getting her breath after having Katy pound her middle for a good minute or more. Katy seizing back the initiative with her late surge, pockets points to even the score after four.
* * *
R5: Cue Charlize comeback! Theron grumpy on her stool, getting one of those classic, old-time, finger-wagging talking to's from Stone while Halle pulls and tugs at Theron's waistband, helping her draw in some badly needed oxygen. Something must have worked; Theron on her feet before the bell ready to go. Tall blond stepping out behind the jab, again getting her fist in Perry's puss before the brunette can set up. First minute a long one for Katy, who can't keep Charlize out of her grill. Charlize pumping and popping her jab on Katy's right eye, mousing it up nicely after several rounds of attention. Perry seen wiping the eye with the back of her glove, the swelling threatening to close it if that continues much longer. Katy forgetting about Charlize's body for now, starting to head-hunt and it pays off for her! Theron extends a bit too much on a jab and Katy comes over the top of her reaching arm to drop a right hand on Charlize's jaw. Blonde backing up wonky, but her dancer-trained legs steady up and she's able to leg her way out of trouble as Perry is slow in pursuit. Theron back to the jab, but with a little less enthusiasm now she's felt some 'Katy thunder' from that right hand! Charlize patient, working her plan to perfection. Stick and move, circling behind the jab, always targeting that swelling right eye of Perry's. Katy starting to bring the right up under Theron's left now, going back to the body. Theron's not giving her very big targets, but Perry's right hand is able to find 'jugg' time and again under the jab. Late in the round, Charlize no longer extending on the jab, and she's coming up short. She stops circling left and starts to move right behind the right cross while keeping her jab in her pocket for the time being - and her left elbow tucked in close to her chest. Magnificent legs of Theron carrying the day in this round as she maneuvers beautifully, putting herself in position to strike with either hand whenever she is within range of Perry's head. No one big dramatic punch in the round aside from that one Perry 'thigh shaker' but from bell to bell it was Theron in pretty much charge as she struts away with her third round to take a lead after five, hotly contested, rounds.
* * *
R6: Both on their feet before the bell; Jewel, still holding Endswell to Katy's right eyebrow is late getting her mouthpiece in and Charlize gets the jump! Perry cornered from the get-go, forced to fight out of her own corner, punished with her back on the ropes with little room to punch. Perry using slippery upper body movement to limit the damage, but it's an inauspicious start for the buxom brunette in what could be a crucial round of the fight with her already behind on all scorecards! Perry finally just lowers her head and charges Charlize, the 'bull rush' turning out to not only a surprise to the blond, but proves effective. Once in the open, Perry has room to throw and that's what she does! Perry landing high on Theron's head with a right, turns into a left hook that almost takes Charlize's head off. Only a last second reaction twist of her head avoids major impact. As it is, Theron stumbles backward off balance, her butt hits the ropes with Perry leaning in on her. SHE GOES DOWN! Perry is down and Katy's hurt! With Katy tilted forward, Charlize brings a diamond cutter uppie from her thigh to catch the brunette flush on the jaw! Perry rolling over, crawling on all fours to the ropes where she pulls herself to a knee; eyes blinking; head swiveling; unsure of where she is. Referee counting as Charlize looks on with a tight grin on her pursed lips. Perry manages to drag herself to her feet with agonizing slowness, barely getting her knee off the canvas in time. Referee asking her questions, Katy's gloves up, whatever he asked, she had the right answer. He waves them together and Charlize goes back to jabbing Katy's face with rangefinders, then lobbing right hands in over the top. Perry rocked again and almost goes down for a second time! Katy clinching around the waist, face buried in Charlize's cleavage, turning her head left or right to evade whichever glove Theron tries to hit her with. Referee slapping down Perry's gloves, but she brings them right back up again, clasping her hands in the small of Theron's back and not letting go. Finally, the referee has to pry Katy's hands open and pull the two women apart. He sends Katy to one corner and Charlize to the opposite, then he gives Katy Perry a dressing down, warning her if she keeps it up, he'll have to DQ her. She nods her understanding the fight resumes. As soon as Charlize closes in, however, Perry again clinches, this time up high, wrapping her arms around Charlize's chest and trapping her arms at her sides. They waltz around for a few seconds, then Perry shoves Charlize back and WHAP, smacks her in the side of the head with her right hand. Theron's not hurt, but she's ANGRY! She comes flying at Perry, throwing leather from all angles. Katy ducking, dodging and dancing, managing to avoid the one 'go home' punch the furious blonde wants to land. After a good thirty or forty seconds of nonstop punch, Theron stops, her chest heaving, stomach pumping in and out, and steps back, hands on her thighs bent forward gasping. The grinning brunette puts her gloves up and nods, 'OK, c'mon, bimbo, let's dance.' This time, Theron doesn't take the bait and calmly goes back to jabbing and throwing the right hand at any opportunity. A few left hooks hurt Katy who is having trouble seeing out of that right eye. KATY'S HURT! Closing seconds, Katy rocked again by the left hook and nearly goes down! Only frantic clinching around Theron's waist keeps her on her feet. At the bell, the referee is swatting and batting Katy's gloves trying to make her let go while Theron is looking back over her shoulder at Stone in disgust.
Theron got the upper hand early with the knockdown and she kept it throughout - yet she was unable to put Perry down a second time - and possibly end the fight! Charlize won the round with a KD and style, but aside from the knockdown there was little of real substance. In fact, ringside observers noticed Katy finished looking fresher than Charlize - who earned her points, winning this round by a wider margin than the previous and going up 4 rounds to 2.
* * *
R7: Theron gulping water between rounds; shoulders rubbed down by Nurse Sunny as Halle Berry and Sharon Stone plot their next step in the destruction of Katy Perry. Stone on her knees in front of Theron in the moments before the bell, relaying their collective wisdom. Bell: both beauties charge across the ring, one eager for retribution; the other for closure. Theron lands the first shot, a sneaky little right that stops Perry in her tracks. Left hook, another right and a left to the chest have Perry retreating less than thirty seconds into the crucial seventh round. Charlize is seconds from a huge win! Left hook to the midsection doubles Katy up; overhand right sends her staggering to the ropes - and headfirst through them. Referee jumps in to pull Perry free, gives her time to turn and prepare to defend herself. Charlize, eyes burning with victory lust, steps, draws back and sends her right fist straight into the middle of Perry's face!
But Perry's face isn't where it's supposed to be. Instead, it's about a foot below Theron's aim point. Charlize, off balance, topples into Perry, folding over her shoulder. With Theron's hips blocking the referee's view, Katy uppercuts Charlize's 'woman parts', buckling her knees. Perry rears up and cross-crosses Oscar's favorite juggs with both hands, then an uppercut sends the blond reeling back in helpless disarray; arms windmilling wildly. Katy surges forward, another left to the breadbasket, a right high on the forehead and Theron's sagging backward into the ropes, bent forward, her 'Goddess butt' projecting out above the ring apron. Another upper cut and THERON CRASHES FACEDOWN AT THE ROPES!

Perry whirls away, spitting out her mouthpiece screaming in triumph as, with arms raises, she circles the ring before finally heading to a neutral corner. Theron, holding her 'jubblies' in both hands, rocks back on her haunches and looks up at the referee who is swinging his arm back and forth as he counts - although Theron can't hear him over the roar of the crowd. She grabs the middle rope and uses it to help her rise to her feet. The referee wipes off her gloves, then as he's about to wave Perry back in, he sees the mouthpiece on the canvas. FCBA being the benevolent organization it is, he's forbidden from resuming the fight if “either fighter is without their protective mouthguard.” Picking it up, he tries to put it in Charlize's mouth, but realizing she still has hers, he checks with Perry who is trying to brush past him to continue. He grabs her elbow and pulls her over to her corner where he orders Jewel to wash off Katy's mouthpiece. She gives it a quick squirt with the water bottle, shoves it back in Katy's mouth and shoves her back out into the ring.

Charlize is leaning back against the ropes near her corner, half hearing to Stone's screamed advice as Katy comes stalking. Theron pushing out a weak jab, then wraps her left hand behind Katy's head and pulls her into a semi-headlock. Hugging Perry in the crook of her left arm, Charlize punches her a couple of times in the face with her right. Katy slams her left into Charlize's belly, then as the headlock loosens, she left uppercuts Theron's right breast, nearly knocking it out of its cup. A chopping right across the face makes Charlize blink and stagger back to the ropes again. Theron earmuffing, crouching low at the ropes, bobbing and ducking, slippin' and slidin', doing anything to avoid giving Katy a clear shot at her head.

Charlize with a quick one-two up top but Katy - as she dips to her right slipping the punches, answers back a withering, right hand blockbuster to paunch, drawing a grunt of shock from the blond. Charlize crippled, crouching open-mouthed behind her gloves as Katy - grinning - steps in, walking hurt Theron into rights and lefts amidships. Perry stoops, wraps Charlize up and bodies her into ropes, Theron's body draped over the middle rope, her upper body cantilevered out into space. Perry gives Charlize's lower tummy a SLAP as the ref moves in to break.

Katy ducks left, hauling a HUGE roundhouse right over the top. THERON ROCKED AGAIN! A soul-shattering blast upside the head rings Theron up. Slumping in stupor at the ropes, eyelashes blinking; gloves drop to her chest, Theron groggy and near defenseless. Perry with a shove, scoots her feet left, then SWEEPS a right low into Theron's belly. Charlize lurches forward behind a sob of agony. Perry cuddling her girl up, lovingly uprighting her flat on ropes. The referee again breaks them, but Katy's feeling it now; her nostrils flaring; eyes burning with intensity. Theron is ragged, swooning in the ropes; bleary eyes pleading. Katy goes low - left jab to the belly, sucking Theron’s defenses down in a reflex; then Perry comes over the top with a looping, overhand, right!

HAYMAKER explodes in Charlize’s face, spinning her around and sending her upper body folding limp over the top rope; her arms hanging down limp outside the ropes. Perry bodies up to Charlize, her arms raised, her hips doing the old burlesque 'bump and grind' against that Oscar winning rump. Angry referee quickly drags Perry away, giving the leering brunette a stern finger-wagging warning. Then he turns back to Charlize - JUST AS THE BELL RINGS ending the round. Katy lifts her right glove and slaps her left hand into the crook of her right elbow. No mistaking the 'finger' - although it's not easy to do it wearing boxing gloves! A big round for Perry as Charlize has to be lifted out of the ropes and practically carried by Stone and McKay to her stool where Berry breaks an ammonia cap under her nose. Huge round is all Perry as she jumps back into the fight with a one-sided beating. Suddenly, it's anybody's fight going to the eighth round.
* * *
R8: Katy able to step and get after 'em; bending in, extending her knuckles to pound Charlize's chest, stepping right and bending into the next whistling CRACK!Charlize wobbly - bravely trying to walk through it, but those old legs rebelling. Perry can take her chin whenever she wants it - but she's patient and instead of the chin, she comes back across the waist with two more hooks. Theron gut shot, cramping, duck walking, hands at her waist.
ANOTHER TO THE CHIN! Katy slides right, staying back on her punches, slicing and dicing what has become a stationery target. Katy effective with the left, bringing it up from her hip to bang Theron face; putting her upright; then sits down to check chin with her right!

THERON'S LEGS GIVE WAY! Charlize staggers out of control, then collapses limp at the ropes - eyelashes aflutter; lips puckered in disbelief; right arm draped over the top rope holding her up with her body turned face-out to the crowd. Perry with a big youthful grin; bending down whip lefts up underneath to Charlize's cheek and rights to the kidneys; lathering home lefts and rights with nothing coming back from Theron. Charlize hanging on grimly; badly busted up. Stone in her corner raising the towel, but Theron makes a kind of weak wave of her hand, begging Stone not to toss it!

UPPERCUT KATY! Tight right picking up Charlize's groggy face; snapping her head viciously up and back. Theron out on her feet, sagging; a helpless blond wreck! Amazingly, referee still isn't moving to stop it. Katy sweeping another hook u across Charlize's pouting lips, swiveling her head, sending her mouthpiece flying into the crowd. Katy extends both hands to Charlize shoulders, stacking her at the ropes.

ANOTHER RIGHT UPPERCUT! Perry holding and hitting - mindlessly slugging - Theron's body going wherever Katy directs. Theron's sturdy chin beng checked again and then again, yet she somehow, miraculously, stays upright.

CHARLIZE IS DOWN! Theron finally bouncing off the ropes, cratering facefirst, already out and unable to extend her arms to break her fall. Her head hits the mat and bounces...once... twice! Crowd on their feet screaming. The Perry pounding too much to endure. THERON'S NOT MOVING; SHE'S NOT GETTING UP! Charlize Theron sleeps with the fishes. KO8!
* * *
In The Ring: Perry dances around Theron's limp body; pumping her fists; raising her arms; big breasts bouncing and shaking. Katy waving to Theron's corner, calling Stone out to help Charlize. Stone and Katy get Charlize on her feet, but she's rubber-legged and sags back down to her knees, then to all fours. Perry lifts Charlize's head in her gloved hands, tilts it up to look into her eyes as she says something. Theron just blinks dumbly. Katy repeats and Charlize shakes her head, then mumbles something that makes Katy grin. Perry rests Charlize's cheek against her thigh and gently strokes her hair with her left hand as she says something to Stone, pointing at Charlize's corner. Katy helps Charlize to her knees; empty blond eyes flitting back and forth; blinking in a groggy daze. Perry slides her right arm around Charlize's waist to hold her upright, as she takes her for a halting, stumbling, humiliating, slow walk of shame around the ring. Katy so full of herself, stops at every corner; waving to the crowd like a beauty queen; gesturing with her gloved hand up and down Charlize's battered body as she hugs the numb blond close; forcing Theron to lean on her for support. With a tug on the front of Theron's waistband and SPANK, Katy sends Charlize stumbling and staggering to the next corner where her show is repeated. Same in the third; then finally back to Theron's corner where Katy does an even longer, slightly more risque, show, blatantly rubbing it in the face of Charlize's still-stunned stablemates.
Finally, Katy turns Charlize around to face her, kisses her on the forehead while holding her shoulders, then firmly slams her butt down onto her stool. Bending over, Katy leans close to whisper in her ear, “You promised, b###h! This isn't over. If I don't get what we agreed to now, I'll take it later!” Then she tousles Theron's sweaty hair, whirls around and struts back to her corner where she's greeted like the conquering heroine she is!

The 'Front Street Mafia' (Brooklyn Decker, Kat Dennings, Daniela Ruah and Kristin Stewart) join Jewel and Neve in the ring celebrating Perry's victory. They keep an eye on the Academy entourage surrounding Charlize, clearly hoping the beaten blonde's friends try something in the way of reprisal for Katy's 'Walk of Shame.' But The Academy women look like their hearts have been ripped from their breasts. Bereft; their body language is one of abject defeat. Their champion brutally dismissed by a younger rival.

As Jewel studies the faces of her former stable, she realizes they know their time in the spotlight is over. Stone, Theron, Halle Berry, Teri Hatcher...even Nurse Sunny McKay, are well past their prime. Their 'youngsters' (Amanda Seyfried and Anna Kendrick) are, or soon will be, 29 years old - and neither has had any success in her boxing career.

The two 'kids' - Jennifer Lawrence (22) and Elizabeth Olsen (25) - are occupied with their own fights this weekend, so they're not available to 'rumble'. Jewel feels a pang of disappointment when it dawns on her that she had been looking forward to a postfight brawl like in the old days...when she was part of the 'Kim & Ginny Gang.'

But the fire of inter-stable wars dimmed after Kim's departure, and Ginny had been unable to stoke it back to life with the husks of fighters she'd let grow old and wither on the vine. Jewel should have seen it coming. It flared into the news (briefly) with the schism between two long-time rivals, sometime friends, but always contentious, Theron and Bell! Bringing in Berry and Hatcher had been just what it appeared - a desperate attempt to prop up a floundering stable. Neither had been able to recapture the success of her youth in a few sporadic tries - though they did help Kendrick and Olsen, even Jewel would grudgingly acknowledge that.

Glancing to the seats immediately behind Theron's corner, Jewel noted Cat Bell had not joined the others in the ring. She stayed seated, stone-faced, beside a smirking Angelina Jolie who arrived with Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer O'Dell. An unlikely group to be sure, but one with a common theme...a dislike - or at least a deep mistrust - of Charlize Theron! Not that it was surprising. You don't win over 300 fights, and get into the Hall of Fame, without making a few enemies. It seems Charlize, however, has a real talent for it...maybe there's a Hall of Fame for that, too, Jewel thought. They all seemed to enjoy the fight, especially once it was clear late what was about to happen. As Perry began to control of the contest, their mood brightened considerably and the women relaxed, leaning back in their chairs - after sitting nervously on edge for five or six rounds.
* * *
Shortly After - The Press Conference: Katy Perry is surrounded by her 'posse' consisting of nearly the entire Front Street contingent - less those with a prior commitment (either a fight, personal appearance, or contractual commitment they can't get out of). Its certainly an impressive line-up of beauty and talent arrayed on the stage behind Ms. Perry. Those we can see include Brooklyn Decker, Kei$ha, Allison Mack, Leighton Meester, Leven Rambin, Daniela Ruah, Kristen Stewart, and Serinda Swan. Trainers Jewel Kilcher and Neve Campbell were on either side of Katy and both look like they couldn't be more pleased with her performance.
Pink, Grace Park, Kat Graham aren't here - citing 'commitments'. Gemma Arterton, Leelee Sobieski and Anna Torv were out of the country. Jamie Lynn Spears was around before, but she's not on stage at the moment. If there's anyone else missing, they could be backstage, elsewhere in the arena, or otherwise engaged.

Katy steps up to the microphone and she's grinning like the proverbial 'Cheshire Cat'. “Well, I'm really, really, happy that Charlize Theron finally got that chance to put me in my place she's been wishing for for years. She wanted 'that upstart singer' and tonight, she got her! How's that working out, 'Goddess'? Huh?” Perry laughs. “I guess we all know now there's a NEW GODDESS in town. 'The Brunette Goddess' has dethroned 'The Golden Goddess' and starting now, any time Charlize thinks I need being taken down a peg or two, my door is open! As of tonight, my management is authorized to accept ANY request for a match from her - so let's not hear anything about me ducking. Front Street doesn't duck; we don't run...certainly not from easy marks like some over the hill ex-goddess!

“Now, I had at least three people on my way to the podium ask what I said to Charlize after the fight. Well, I hate to disappoint anyone, but what I said is between us. She said a few things before the fight and I called her on it. We hashed it out over the phone. I'll just say there was a little side wager and I merely reminded her of it. The poor woman, she wasn't in any condition to understand a word I said, she was pretty much out of it. But I DID enjoy the moment!

“She started fast as we expected. At her age, she knew she had to end the fight as soon as possible. Our plan was to drag her as deep into the fight because for the past five or six years, she wears down after the fifth or sixth round. Once we got into the seventh, eighth, ninth, I was going have my way with her. I've been to a couple of her fights and I've seen the rest of hers over the last five years on video. I even paid some small part of my reported 'millions' to get ringside seats to a celebrity wrestling show so Jewel and I could see her up close there too. Same thing, after a few minutes of high energy grappling, she was hanging on resting. I figured if she couldn't go more than two minutes wrestling, she wouldn't go any longer than that boxing either.”

Katy was asked happened in the fifth and sixth rounds that Theron won. “She was getting desperate and took chances. She landed some solid punches and I was careful not to give her an opening. Maybe I dialed it back a bit too much, but you saw how it came out so I'm not going to second guess my manager or myself. The idea isn't to win rounds, it's to win the fight and I did that. She punched herself out in the sixth, and didn't have much left in the tank for the seventh. In the eighth she was out of gas entirely. I was practically holding her up at the end.”

When she was asked, “Were you 'carrying' Theron to send a message that she's 'finished'”? Perry grinned. “I never thought of 'carrying' an opponent, simply because if you let somebody hang around any longer than necessary, you're taking a risk and that's something I'd rather not do. The message I hoped I could send was by knocking her out in the first round, not by her hanging around eight rounds.

The next question sounded like it was planted. Whatever, Katy was all over it! “What do I think of The Academy now? Jeez, I hardly think of them at all. Which, come to think of it, is just about all they deserve. I 'own' their two best fighters, Lawrence and Theron. I put em both away the first time I faced them. It's been a couple of years since I beat Lawrence and I haven't heard from her since. I hope Theron doesn't wait that long, because she's liable to have to use a walker.” That got a laugh. “I guess I could go up and beat Cat Bell if I wanted to, or drop weight to get in with Lizzie Olsen, they're the next two. No, I take that back, I think Halle Berry's still fighting....at least she's on the active roster. It may be close between Halle and Cat and Olsen as to third best over there.”

Another Academy question raises eyebrows among 'Perry's Posse'. “Who in the Academy would you LEAST want to fight?” Katy pretended to actually think about it before answering. “Sharon Stone. She's mean, nasty, and devious. She's about a hundred years old and she can't fight worth a lick, but I suppose if there was a fight I absolutely had to take with one of those women, the first name I'd cross off would be hers.”

The reporter followed up. “Why? If she's so bad, how could she hurt you?” Perry rolled her eyes, hoping her attorney would come up with some way she could bill Sharon Stone for all this free air time about her, and said, “I guess what I'm saying; is if Stone can't punch you or kick you, she'll bite you and hang on until you bleed out. How the hell do I know! You asked who I'd least like to fight and it's her. Gee whiz fella, what are you, a Sharon Stone fan? Get over her.”
* * *
Perry's press conference ran long - then longer. Finally, Ginny and Sharon Stone put in an appearance. “Charlize has a concussion and won't be able to answer questions for a few days,” Stone explained. “When she can, she will. Next?”
A small, gray-haired, feisty looking harpie with a spiral bound notebook and a thick New Joisey accent said, “It's been almost exactly a year since 'The Crusade' ended with Taylor Cole putting Theron down like a dog in four rounds. Since then, she's struggled into overtime and narrowly managed to edge out Freeman, then Front Street's Gemma Arterton took her deep and whupped her in thirteen. Earlier this year, she struggled again, tooth and nail, to eke out a decision from that lightly regarded Aussie Phoebe what's her name. And before this, Perry's other Front Street stablemate, Anna Torv, dismissed Theron with a wave of her hand in two...TWO... rounds!”

“Is there a question in there somewhere?” Ginny asked with a snarl. “I lost my train of thought for a moment while you were reading from your novel. I may have dozed off and missed it.”

“My question,” she said with a raised eyebrow, “...do you admit that Front Street has pretty much written the book on beating Theron? And I'd like an answer to my follow-up question at the same time, 'Will she ever face another Front Street woman again?”

“Stone will answer those,” Ginny huffed red-faced. “I wouldn't dignify either with an answer myself.”

“Interesting,” Stone said, looking a big non-plussed. “Early in her career, Charlize 'owned' Front Street fighters. Seems - if your facts are accurate, which I won't know without doing some research - but if they're accurate, then things have come full circle. I see no reason for Charlize, or anyone else, to avoid an entire stable because of a few unfortunate results. And I'm pretty sure that when Charlize is able to answer questions from the media, she'd love to address that herself.”

The next question was about Theron's “...fitness. Or is her losing in the later rounds lately simply a matter of a fighter who's gotten old and can no longer 'go the distance'?”

“She's not 'old' old,” Stone snapped curtly. “But she has a lot of rounds on her and perhaps we haven't done the best job of managing her workload. She's not twenty-three any more, but then neither are Katy Perry or Yvonne Strahovski or Cassidy Freeman. We'll be fine, so don't worry about Charlize getting old.”

Since everyone had seen first hand what had happened during the fight, most of the rest of the questions centered around the “conversation” at the end of the fight. Stone declined to speculate. “You all were there and saw it. Perry and Theron were eight or ten feet from me. Perry was whispering in her ear. You all know that whispering is? It's what you do when you DON'T want to be overheard, right? Charlize can't form coherent sentences right now, but if she could, that would NOT be one of the questions I'D ask her.”

Next question: “Would YOU fight Katy Perry?”

Stone looked confused. “You mean ME? Or Charlize in a rematch?” Told it was HER they were asking about, Stone rubbed her chin and furrowed her brow, then asked a counter-question. “How big is the purse?” (that got laughs). “I haven't fought anyone that much younger them me in.....like 50 years. I think I had a fight on the playground with Billy Edwards mother, and she' must have been 50 years older. What the hell kind of question is that anyway?”

It was explained Perry had listed Stone as the Academy woman she'd least want to face, Stone just smiled. “I can see that. It makes sense in that context. I'm mean, tough, uncompromising, and I'm not likely to throw in the towel against her. On the other hand, I'm not so dumb as to step into the ring with somebody thirty or so years younger without getting a really, really, big guarantee. And I don't think Perry's dumb enough to give up a dollar of her own for the chance to fight me. Even if she wins, what does it get her? You think she's going to shoot up the rankings beating ME?”

After a moment of consideration, Sharon added, “Though I'd hope beating me might shoot her up 10 or 15 spots!”

Ginny fielded the next question: “Does the FCBA have rules against fighters betting on their own fights?”

The old redhead seemed baffled for a moment, then shrugged. “Damm'f I know. I mean, I don't fight professionally, so I never paid much attention. That's what the fighter, her business manager and her adviser - and her bookie, I guess - are supposed to know. If you're asking whether Charlize and Perry broke any rules by even talking about a wager - remember, nobody but the two of them know what was said - then you should ask the commissioner. I think you can find him in a skiff fishing on a lake in British Columbia if you want to annoy him with that. Be warned, however, he usually carries a handgun to protect himself from the Northern Pike - they're almost as vicious as redheaded stable owners. Next question?”

It pretty much went downhill after that.

After the press conferences, the two camps went their separate ways. The only known interaction between them occurred in the hallway out of earshot of reporters where Sharon Stone and Katy Perry talked with their heads together. Inquiring reporters eager to find out if they were negotiating a rematch for Theron - or the much anticipated Perry-Stone fight (presumably with a prohibition on biting) - were frustrated by a no comment from each side.


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