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31 October 2014 Aftermath Charlize Theron vs Katy Perry

Page history last edited by Archer844 8 years, 2 months ago

Posted by Ginny on October 31, 2014, 2:31 pm,"

 

THE PERILS OF CHARLIZE, CHAPTER 68: “HAPPY HALLOWEEN”

 
(Scene: Charlize Theron's dressing room shortly after Theron was KO'd by Katy Perry....Oct 2014)


Sharon Stone, Halle Berry and Teri Hatcher are standing around as Nurse Sunny massages the kinks out of Charlize's beaten and battered body.


“I thought she had her in the sixth” Teri says, trying - and failing - to raise the gloomy mood a tad.


“Yeah,” Halle chimes in, her tone flat; emotionless. “Tough break. She got her with a lucky punch. It really turned it around.”


Only Stone was willing to 'tell it like it is.' “I warned her. I said time and again, 'Watch out for her' but she wouldn't listen; she never listens. She's too stubborn for her own good. Charlize will never learn, even from her own mistakes, will you Charlize?”


“Unnnhhhhh,” Charlize groaned ignoring Stone, as usual. “That's it Sunny, right there. Big knot...”


Suddenly, the door flew open and in charged Katy Perry with her teammates Daniela Ruah, Brooklyn Decker, Kat Dennings along with Front Street's trainer, Jewel Kilcher and Charlize's 'Snow White' co-star Kristen Stewart on Jewel's heels. Kristin came to gloat! Katy walked over to Charlize who lay face down on the massage table. Hip-checking Sunny aside, Katy put a hand on Charlize's shoulder and told Stone, “Take your minions and get out! I earned some alone time with Ms. Theron and we have 'unfinished' business. Right after the fight she wasn't up to it, but now I'm here to collect.”


Sunny stepped forward to stop her, but before she could open her mouth, Jewel slugged her in the gut, knocking the wind out of her. Grabbing Sunny's hair, Jewel duck walked her to the door, put a foot on her butt and propelled her out into the hall. Sunny slid across the cement floor on her belly, coming to rest at the far wall. “I never liked you, McKay,” Jewel growled. “So... please....give me any excuse to kick your slutty behind the rest of the way down the hall.” Sunny lay there glaring at Jewel, but didn't try to get up.


“Well.....?” Katy said, looking at the other women in turn; Stone, then Berry, and finally Hatcher. Katy felt secure with her 'posse' behind her, especially as the excitable young Academy girls weren't here to make trouble. She was sure the 'veterans' would do the calculation and realize that outnumbered 2-1, their choices were either leave or have their butts kicked. She knew these three would do the 'right thing'.


And they did. “Come on ladies,” Stone sighed. “Let's get a couple of drinks and discuss what happened tonight.”


When they reached the door, Katy cleared her throat. They all stopped short and turned in unison, looking like an aging Rockette's chorus line. “Don't hurry back,” she purred, her hand still on Charlize. “We'll be a while and do NOT want to be disturbed. And when you return be sure to knock. I wouldn't want any of my girls to get excited and hurt anybody - by mistake.”


Sharon nodded, turned, and left with Halle. Teri Hatcher gently closed the door behind them.


“See,” Jewel told the others. “Not a problem.”


“Good thing Lawrence wasn't here,” Dennings said. “She's half crazy. She'd have knocked your block off.”


Katy smiled and shook her head. “She tried that once and it didn't work out. But, yeah, she'd probably try again. Why do you think I brought you, Daniela and Brooke. The three of you could handle Jen while Jewel, Krissie, and Kat dealt with Stone, Berry and Hatcher.”


“What about YOU?” Dennings asked, frowning.


“Me? I just went six hard rounds with a Hall of Famer,” she chuckled, slapping Charlize's towel covered 'Golden Globes' just hard enough to get a satisfying moan from the groggy blond.


“The fight went eight rounds,” Daniela corrected Katy.


“Yeah,” piped up Kristin supporting Katy. “But only the first six were hard. The last two was a 'cake walk'.”


Katy chuckled and she gave Theron another slap, one that sent ripples down the backs of her thighs. “Anyway, I got my hands here.”


“OK, now that you've caught her, what're you going to do with her?” Ruah asked, her left eyebrow raising interrogatively.


“Yeah,” chirped Brooklyn. “Not that I mind, but what's the play here?”


“Stuff and mount her,” Jewel suggested. “That's what you do with any trophy, right?”


“Right you are,” Katy said. “The old gal's got a low grade concussion, so she probably won't know what's going on; that means half as much fun for her, but half the work for me.”


“I'm really not comfortable about this,” Decker whined. “First, I don't like it when you brunettes take advantage of a blond. But, second, she's helpless, it just seems wrong. And third....”


“Third, you're jealous 'cause she's getting all the attention,” Dennings huffed. She walked over, grabbed Decker and slammed her back against a row of lockers. “You happy NOW, Brookie baby?”


“NO! Hey, I wasn't serious,” Decker whimpered, backing away with hands raised palms out in front of her.


“Hey you two, cut it out! Leave her alone, Kat,” Daniela said, stepping between her two stablemates, a protective arm around Brooklyn's shoulder. “It's alright hon, I won't let that bad old bantam hurt you.” Glaring at Dennings, Ruah said, “I already called first dibs on Decker, so stop trying to cut the line!”

 

The brunette's all burst out laughing as Brooklyn's face blushed bright red. Slowly, it dawned on her they just joking at her expense. At least, she HOPED they were kidding!


“Will you just dial it back and give me a hand here,” Katy barked. “I can't move this dead weight all by myself. Two of you grab Theron's arms; you two her legs; and lets....”


BANG! BANG! BANG! Somebody pounded on the dressing room door with a fist.


“Go away! We're busy,” Jewel yelled, stepping toward the door, thinking it was Stone and her friends coming back with reinforcements. “Come back in an hour... or two,” she giggled.


“SECURITY!” a woman's voice growled. “OPEN UP. WE GOT A COMPLAINT.”


“That damm Stone!” Perry grumbled, “Quick. Hide this....!” she handed her gym bag to Kristin.


“Just a sec,” Jewel called back, stalling. “I'm...uh....I'm not decent. Gimme a minute to get dressed.”


The door flew open and three people came charging in. The first was a woman dressed as a witch - long black dress, pointy black hat, green face paint and a big crooked, fake nose with a wart. The second was another woman, this on dressed as a Royal Canadian Mountie, complete with flat hat, red jacket and a black utility belt with handcuffs. She wore a black mask across her eyes. It was hard to tell the sex of the third person because the costume was a loose, baggy, clown suit, with a white painted face, rosy cheeks and a bright red ball on the nose. There was a white skull cap with wild orange hair. Big floppy clown shoes completed the disguise. The three intruders didn't stop, immediately splitting up and attacking the six women standing around the massage table.


Jewel raised a hand in protest, but was knocked down by a hard right from the witch that sent her sprawling on the floor by the table - she was out cold before she hit the floor! The Mountie drove a shoulder into Ruah's belly, arms wrapping her hips; legs pumping as she powered her back into the 1st row of lockers so hard the whole row toppled over. Daniela landed on top of them stunned! The clown lifted a right leg and kicked Decker in the belly, doubling her over, then uppercut her to drop the SI cover model flat on her back - down for the count! In seconds, the interlopers had cut the odds against them from 6-3 to 3 vs 3!


Perry, Dennings and Stewart looked at their friends and knew they were in trouble! Katy faced off with the Mountie while Kat confronted the clown. That left Stewart looking up at the witch who was quite a bit taller. “Oh, crap,” she muttered just before the witch drove a fist into her face. Stewart reeled back against the massage table, folded forward, and her unconscious body slithered down in a heap on the floor beside Jewel.
Perry and the Mountie were trading blow toe-to-toe, then Perry seemed to be gaining the upper hand. The witch walked over, grabbed Katy's shoulder, spun her around and slugged her in the belly. As she doubled over, the witch threw her back to the Mountie who gave her a lights-out uppercut, sending her crashing down on top of Stewart.


The witch and the Mountie then turned to watch the clown battle Kat Dennings. The clown was taller, but Dennings looked stockier. Busty Kat was working the clown's middle, but her fists kept getting muffled by the baggy, clown suit. The clown was having trouble with the costumes loose sleeves which hampered arm movement. The clown's punches came up short or went wide. It seemed Kat was going to come out on top even before Daniela Ruah climbed down off the stack of toppled lockers to wrap her arms around the clown from behind. Then busty Kat really went to town! She pounded her fists into the middle of the clown costume without regard to who, or what, was beneath!


The Mountie looked at the witch and sighed, “Think we oughta jump in?” The witch shrugged, then nodded and they waded in. The Mountie grabbed a handful of Kat's dark hair, jerked her away from the clown and punched her in the face - twice. With the buxom bantam reeling, it only took one more right hand to stretch her out on the floor with her friends. Then the witch returned to the massage table, leaned on Theron, put her chin in her hands and calmly watched as the Mountie duked it out with Ruah.


The Mountie started punching up under Daniela's breasts... right...left...right. Daniela's stylishly sheer designer blouse wasn't designed to protect puppies and she felt it. But then Daniela landed a left hook to the Mountie's chin, then they traded rights. Daniela caught the Mountie with another left. The Mountie responded with a flury....hook jug, hook jug. The Mountie was rocked by a hard left as Ruah backed to get maneuvering room, then she walked the Mountie into a right cross! The witch, watching intently, shook her head in dismay, wondering if she was going to have to save her partner. But The Mountie gamely continued her attack on Daniela's jugs; backing Ruah up with clubbing lefts and rights. Daniela - fighting with her back against the next row of lockers, pumped in short rights and lefts.
Then a Mountie jab caught Daniela flush, and a stiff right crosshurt her! The Mountie's relentless body work was wilting Daniela who winced at a Mountie left hook to her face. A BELTING right hand by The Mountie clipped Daniela's chin, rocking her head. Wobbling, her hands dropped, her eyes glassy...Daniela was adrift on a sea of woe. The Mountie reloaded, set her feet and leaned into a blockbuster right that swiveled the brunette's head. DOWN GOES RUAH!


The witch straightened up, patted Charlize's hip and told the uncomprehendingly concussed blond, “See, you had nothing to worry about. Missy had everything under control.”


“Screw you, Straho!” Missy Peregrym (The Mountie) snarled. “You could've given me a hand instead of slobbering over Theron like some teen fanboy.”


“A little help here,” the clown grunted as she struggled out of the baggy costume. Under the costume, Jen Lawrence had short shorts and a clinging tee-shirt which had molded itself to her sweating torso. “That stupid suit's impossible in a fight. I don't know why you had me wear it.”


Peregrym and Strahovski exchanged an eye-rolling look, both smirking. “Well, you WERE the one begging for help,” Missy giggled. “We just said you you'd need a costume to blend in, I mean since it IS Halloween!”


“Oh. Yeah. I guess you're right,” Lawrence sniffed. “Still...” she looked around at the six women sprawled out cold on the floor. “....it worked out in the end.”


“How's Charlize?” Missy asked Yvonne. “It looked like you were giving her a physical while I was fighting Katy AND Daniela!”


“Well, how about me,” Jen pouted. “Between that sack of a clown suit and the red nose blocking my vision, I'm lucky I didn't end up on the floor too. That Dennings character was a LOT tougher'n I expected.” Then she forgot her own troubles and asked Yvonne. “What'll we do with Charlize? We can't leave her here, they're gonna come around sooner or later.”


“Well, I found something that should help,” Yvonne said. “Look what Katy had in her swag bag.” She held up several lengths of rope.


“Tie them up and leave 'em for the cops! There's a plan,” Missy said. “We're already late for Lookout's Halloween party. I don't want to waste the rest of my evening with these clowns - I mean the police,” she said, glancing at Jennifer's white painted face, latex skull cap with the bright orange hair and her red clown nose, then added, “No offense, Bozo.”


Lawrence seemed confused momentarily, then yanked off her skull cap and red nose. Her face paint would have to wait till later. “None taken. But this paint you slathered on me HAD BETTER COME OFF!”


“You going to tell her, or should I?” Yvonne asked Missy with a twinkle in her eye.


“Oh, right! Gee whiz, I'm sorry Jen, but that's permanent paint. You're going to be the poster child for 'white girls' for a week or so until it wears off.”


“NO!” Jen gasped. “You have got to be kidding. I can't walk around like this all week.”


Missy and Yvonne burst out laughing at the stricken expression on Jen's face. Neither could bring herself to tell her they were kidding. They assumed she'd figure it out - sooner or later. Or maybe not; she was, after all, blond!


They tied up the other four, saving Katy and Jewel (the ringleaders) for last. While Missy and Yvonne where securing Daniela, Kat, Kristen and Brooklyn, Jen went to find something to move Charlize. She found a wheelchair at the first aid station and by the time she got back, Jewel and Katy were already tied up. Eventually, Sharon, Halle and Teri would return and free them....or more likely they'd take some retribution. If so, it would serve them right.
Since Yvonne and Missy had brought several costumes - and since Charlize not only wasn't dressed, she was also dazed and concussed from her fight and her clothes were buried under a pile of overturned lockers - Yvonne suggested they disguise her with one of the extra costumes. Missy chose a garish, loud, window pane print, house dress, then hid Theron's face under a latex mask of 'an aged crone'. A white fright wig completed her transformation from silver screen goddess into a hag. It would keep anyone from identifying her as they wheeled her out of the arena in the wheelchair.
Sending Jennifer to find Sharon and the other Academy members and let them know what had happened, Missy and Yvonne started to wheel Charlize in the wheelchair out to their car in the parking lot.


“How long do you think it'll take Lawrence to figure out we just kidnapped Theron out from under her nose?” Yvonne wondered aloud. “But we're taking her to Lookout's Halloween party, so Charlize won't be TOO mad, will she?” Yvonne asked. “I kinda feel bad about lying to J-Law, but it IS a party; it's not like we're hurting her.”


Missy rolled her eyes. “Lawrence is a sweet girl - and a pretty good fighter - but I don't know if she's that smart. You know she probaby won't wash her face for a week after that fib about the paint. Heck, she may not realize Charlize is even missing for several days. Besides, we'll take her back to the Academy on Monday... you don't think the party will last past Sunday night, do you?”


“Not like last year, but I wouldn't plan on taking her back early Monday,” Yvonna suggested. “Let's keep her until Tuesday. Her concussion will be fine in 24 hours and she'll be her old self again. THEN we can really have some fun with her.”


“Screw that!” Missy chuffed. “I don't want to spend 36 hours with ANY version of Theron; certainly not the OLD one. She could be a real b###h.” Just then, Charlize moaned and started to move around in the wheelchair. “Oops,” Missy giggled. “If you heard that Charlize, I was kidding; I love you like my own sister.”


Yvonne and Missy rolled Charlize's wheelchair down the hall toward the parking lot exit but when they turned a corner, they ran into two security guards. The guards immediately raised their hands and sprayed pepper spray/mace in Missy and Yvonne's eyes! The Mountie and the witch collapsed on the floor screaming, writhing in pain, covering their tearing, burning, eyes. The two security guards grabbed the wheelchair and raced down the hall with it toward the parking lot.


The first guard, Liz Hurley, told the second, Catherine Zeta Jones, “I told you they'd bring her out this way. I love it when a plan comes together.”
Zeta Jones used her 'security guard' walkie-talkie to call two other 'snatch teams' and update them. “We have the package. Repeat, we have the package. Rendezvous at the van in ten minutes.” The other two teams; Jennifer Lopez & Jennifer Esposito, plus Jennifer Garner & Jennifer Aniston, both acknowledged and headed for the parking lot.


Hurley held the door open as Zeta Jones pushed the wheelchair into the cool night air. Just outside the door was an ambulance, its red lights flashing.

 

“That's perfect,” Hurley said. “Dump 'fat ass' in there and drive her off the lot. Nobody will suspect a thing - and we don't have to walk. These heels are murder on this pavement,” Hurley whined.


“I warned you,” Zeta Jones said. “No security guard wears Jimmy Choo's with her uniform!”


Two women, an EMT and a nurse - both wearing white surgical masks commonplace these days - were loading another patient into their ambulance when Liz and Cath wheeled Charlize out; pulled Theron out of the wheelchair and heaved her up on the second gurney. After strapping her down, they rolled her up to the ambulance.


“Here's another one,” Liz brazenly lied, acting like they were expected.


The two attendants exchanged a look, shrugged, then the nurse took the gurney from Liz and Catherine. When they started to climb in the ambulance behind her, however, the nurse held up a hand. “Hold on! You have to wear masks. I'll get them for you.” She went back into the ambulance with her two “patients” while the female EMT walked around to the driver's door and got in the cab.


Liz and Catherine hi-fived, celebrating successfully kidnapping Theron from her kidnappers (who kidnapped her from the six women who assaulted her dressing room). Suddenly, the back door of the ambulance slammed with a loud WHAM!


“Hey, wait!” Catherine screamed, running up to beat on the back door with her fist. “Don't forget us!”


The engine roared, the tires squealed, and the red and white emergency vehicle shot off; leaving two very frustrated British beauties fuming in a cloud of exhaust. Inside the ambulance, bouncing across the parking lot toward the exit, Nurse Sunny McKay and EMT Cat Bell exchanged high fives of their own.


“Who was the old crone we just scooped up?” Sunny asked.


“No idea,” Cat laughed. “...and I don't care. You know that was Hurley and Zeta Jones in the lame security guard costumes? They looked like a couple of bachelor party strippers in those get-ups. But if they're involved, then that's probably somebody rich, or important - maybe both! Either way, when we get to the club, we'll check her out. It's a neat costume. But, what about the other one - the dame we were sent here to kidnap?”


“Don't worry, everything's under control,” Sunny assured her. “She'll learn it's not smart to poke her nose into Fight Club. They're very particular about keeping their private business private.”


“You're my favorite blond for a reason, Sunny,” Cat said, leaning over to give her 'partner in crime' a platonic hug.


“And that reason is....?” Sunny prompted with a coy grin.


“Aside from your brilliant mind? Probably your connections,” Cat said. “And....you're almost as mad at Theron as I am, which is an added bonus.”


“Good answer,” Sunny said, patting Cat's thigh, not risking a hug that may interfere with her driving the ambulance. “But there's something I can't figure out...”


“What's that?” Cat purred.


“When Perry and those miscreants came barging into Char's dressing room, they were talking about her losing a bet. She didn't make any bets on that fight, I'd have known if she did. Perry told Jewel Char sent her a text saying, 'If you beat me, you can collect in the ring.' First, Charlize would never say that; and second, she doesn't text; at least not about anything that sensitive and serious. It just doesn't make sense!”


Cat thought a moment, then offered, “Maybe her account was hacked. There's a lot of that going on lately. Look what happened to those girls nude selfie's - that exploded on Twitter. Could somebody have gotten into Charlize's phone?”


Sunny considered a minute, or two, and then her face brightened. “Of course. It's obvious! I can't believe I didn't see it! That conniving b###h Lawrence. She's one of the 'techie' generation. It would've been easy for her. And she's so envious of Char's success, she'd do anything to bring her down. I'm so going to tear her a new one...”


Cat was laughing so hard she couldn't help it. “Relax Sunny. It wasn't Jen. Though I like the way you analyzed that. She COULD have done it; maybe WOULD have sooner or later. But...and I hate to break that nice little bubble you have going, but it was me, moi, myself, who sent a challenge to 'Perky, Pretty, Petty'...that b###h! And, just as I knew she would, Katy jumped at the chance to humiliate Theron in the ring. I'm only sorry she didn't go thru with it totally. That's what she was supposed to do.”


“Wait! YOU did that? To Charlize? I thought you worshipped Theron!” Sunny gasped.


“Correct...'worshipped' - past tense! She screwed me over and this was me saying, 'Back atcha'! Can you imagine the headlines if Perry had actually done it in the ring in front of the PPV cameras, God, and eight million rabid fans? They'd have pilloried Perry, crushed Charlize, and probably shut down the entire FCBA for 'lewd and lascivious conduct unbecoming'. That'd be a threefur in my book.”


Sunny sat stunned. “Cat, you're a lot more devious than I gave you credit for. I better watch my butt.”


Cat grinned. “That's not the only part of your anato ...oh-oh. We have a problem,” Cat said, pointing to a roadblock with several police cars showing flashing lights.


“Probably just a sobriety checkpoint,” Sunny said. “Don't worry, they'll wave us right through; us being an emergency vehicle and all.” But the police didn't wave them through. Instead, they pulled over and made them get out of the vehicle.


In back, the patient on the other gurney sat up and looked at the 'old woman' laying next to her. Curious, she pulled off the latex 'crone' mask and gasped to find Charlize Theron. Still dazed and disoriented, Charlize blinked trying to focus on the beautiful blond staring down at her.


“Tess? Tess Valmore?,” Charlize mumbled semi-coherently. “What are you doing here....and where is HERE? What happened? The last thing I remember, I was fighting Katy Perry and....no, wait. There's something else. Something happened... in my dressing room...” She looked around again. “I know you'll do anything for an interview, but this looks a lot like the inside of an ambulance.”


“That's because it IS the inside of an ambulance,” Tess whispered. “And keep your voice down. I was kidnapped trying to interview Sunny McKay about her Fight Club. She promised me the inside story, but when I showed up, someone from behind put a smelly rag over my face. Next thing I know, I wake up in here with you.”


“Oh-oh,” Charlize said. “You were tricked. Sunny's Queen of the Fight Club. She'd never break her 'vow of silence' - they're fanatical about it. You're in a lot of trouble Tess. If Sunny's involved, that means they kidnapped you for 'reprogramming.' When they're done, you won't remember a thing about the Club, or probably the last week or ten days either. It's a pretty extreme, and quite thorough, cleansing process. At least, that's what they told me when I took my vows.”


“YOU'RE a member?” Tess gasped. “That's GREAT. I don't need Sunny McKay, now; I've got you. You can tell me everything and you're a lot more credible than some has-been stripper slash washed up porn actress. If I help you escape, will you give me the whole story?” Tess asked. “If not, I'll leave you strapped to that gurney and you can take your chances with whoever's driving this bus.” Tess sat up reaching for the door.


“Hold on,” Charlize said. “At least unstrap me; give me a chance.”


“Sorry,” Tess shook her head. “It's my way, or I'm hitting the highway. I'm not going to miss an exclusive scoop that can land me a job at the big time; I'm talking Sixty Minutes; the New York Times... maybe even TMZ!”


“OK, OK,” Charlize relented. “I'll tell you all I know about the Fight Club, but you can NOT use my name. Don't even make a reference about me. If they find out I'm the one who told you, we'll both be in hot water.”


Tess knew Charlize tended to exaggerate about her importance; about her 'skill' as a boxer; definitely about her wrestling ability. Tess had seen her wrestle first hand! But, just maybe, she wasn't exaggerating about the Fight Club. If it was true, the story would be huge! If only half of the big name women in Hollywood that were rumored to be involved, actually were involved, then the scandal would be massive enough to rock California - maybe the world beyond - to its very foundation!


Tess flipped a coin in her mind and it came up 'heads'. “OK Charlize, it's a deal. I'll get you out of here if you tell me everything - names, dates, all the lurid intimate details, the complete story. Right?”


“Yes, now please Tess, untie me.”


In seconds, Charlize's hands and feet were free and she was rubbing circulation back into her limbs. Tess carefully opened the back door of the ambulance and peeked outside. “There's some cops talking to an EMT and a nurse. Looks like some kind of problem. Good news is, my car's in the other direction. We can sneak over there and I'll take you back to my place, get you cleaned up and you can dictate the story. Let's go....”


They managed to reach Tess's car without being seen and Tess put Charlize in the front seat. She reached across Charlize's body pulled her seat belt across her chest. “Safety first,” Tess said as she buckled her in. Then she turned on her tape recorder and shoved it down between Charlize's knees.

“Start talking, honey. From the beginning. How you got into the club; who brought you in; especially all the things you do there....” Charlize began to talk as Tess drove out the opposite end of the parking lot and turned toward her apartment.


Back at the sobriety checkpoint, the police finally finished checking out Cat and Sunny. They were so anxious to get away from the police, they climbed back in the ambulance and drove off without checking on their 'patients'.
* * * * *
FLASHBACK
* * * * *
(Scene: Charlize Theron's dressing room shortly after Theron was KO'd by Katy Perry....Oct 2014)


Sharon Stone, Halle Berry and Teri Hatcher are standing around as Nurse Sunny massages the kinks out of Charlize's beaten and battered body.
“I thought she had her in the sixth” Teri says, trying - and failing - to raise the gloomy mood a tad.


“Yeah,” Halle chimes in, her tone flat; emotionless. “Tough break. She got her with a lucky punch. It really

turned it around.”


Only Stone was willing to 'tell it like it is.' “I warned her. I said time and again, watch out for her. But she wouldn't listen; never listens. She's too stubborn for her own good. Charlize will never learn, even from her own mistakes, will you Charlize?”


“Unnnhhhhh,” Charlize groaned. “Wha...what happened?”


“SHE'S AWAKE!” Halle yelped. “Char, are you OK? The doctor said you'd probably wake up any minute. You're alright. It's just a concussion. You hit your head when you got knocked out.”


Charlize lifted her head and looked around. “Where did they go?”


“Where'd WHO go?” Sharon asked. “Other than the doctor, we're the only ones who've been here.”


Charlize looked confused. “Perry, K-Stew, Ruah... that bunch. And Strahovski and Peregrym, they came with J-Law.”


Stone looked at Halle, who looked at Teri, who pulled out her cellphone and punched numbers. “Doc, you better come back to her dressing room. She's either hallucinating or there's some brain trauma. What? Oh, OK. Lemme ask...”


Teri asked Charlize, “What do you 'remember' about those 'people' you claim to have seen.”


(Then Charlize repeated the entire story. Katy Perry showing up to collect on some bet she doesn't remember making. A fight in the dressing room. Strahovski, Peregrym and Lawrence saving her. Hurley and Zeta Jones pepper spraying them and kidnapping her. Then McKay and Cat Bell hijacking her and an ambulance. Her being saved by - of all people - Tess Valmore. Then her waking up in the dressing room again.)


Sunny McKay was the first to break the stunned silence. “You mean, I was working with that brunette witch Bell? You MUST be crazy! Teri, have 'em to send the men in the white coats; she's gone round the bend!”


Sharon grabbed the phone away from Teri and asked the doctor, “Did you hear all that? Well...? Uh-huh. Oh, I see. OK. Right. Are you certain? A couple of days? That long? Yes, we got an appointment so I'll bring her in then. Thanks.” She ended the call, tossed the phone back to Teri, and looked at Charlize with her hands on her hips.


“Good news. He said that kind of thing is pretty normal.”


“THAT KIND OF THING?” Charlize gasped. “Kidnapping? Why don't I ever read about that in the media? You'd think with people kidnapped, being tear gassed, and whatever else - plus celebrities getting in fights.... that's...”


“No, no! Not THAT kind of usual. He said after a concussion it's not unusual for patients to have dreams, nightmares, even hallucinations that often they manifest their deep seated paranoia, or fears - but they also can be clues to strongly held attachments, even unrequited love. So this... dream...where you .... imagined... your friends deserting you, and your enemies helping you... well, those kind of hallucinations are not uncommon.”


“I think you're all crazy and I'm the only sane one,” Charlize muttered. “It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.”


Stone held up her hand. “Hear me out. When Doc was here earlier, you were still unconscious. He called and made an appointment for you to see a neurologist Tuesday morning. It's interesting that in your dream Strahovski and Peregrym talked about taking you 'home' on Tuesday, isn't it? I think your subconscious heard about the appointment and used the dream to make sense for your conscious mind. Anyway, we're going to keep that appointment. They'll give you an MRI, a catscan, whatever; to tell them if your brain is normal...”


“Well, they'll tell her she's crazy!” Sunny grumbled. “Her brain's never worked like a 'normal' person'. Remember, Sharon, you were just saying she never listens to anything you....”


“I get it Sunny, shut up!” Stone interrupted. “So just lay there and relax,” Sharon told Charlize. “Have Sunny give you a rubdown. It'll do wonders for your subconscious mind, OK?”


Charlize smiled. “Good idea, Sher. C'mon McKay, get to working some of that Nurse Sunny magic you do.”


“And THAT,” Halle said, heading for the door, “is my cue to get out and give the youngsters some privacy.”


Teri Hatcher already had a hand on the doorknob, and just as she was about to open it, there was a knock. When Teri opened the door Charlize screamed!


YIKES!” yelped Katy Perry, recoiling in shock. “Did I come at a bad time? I was just feeling awful about how the fight ended and I wanted to come by and....”


“THAT TEXT DID NOT COME FROM ME!” Charlize screamed, sitting up, then grabbing her throbbing head, the towel wrapped around her torso sliding down into her lap, exposing her bruised bosom. Katy's eyes widened at the sight of the black and blue flesh!


“I don't know anything about texts,” Katy said. “I just came to see if you're OK. And I'm sorry about....” she pointed to Theron's badly bruised bosom, “...that. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to win. No hard feelings?”


Charlize snatched up the towel and covered herself, then just stared at Katy glumly and shook her head (slowly because it hurt too much to move it any faster).


“We'll expect a rematch,” Sharon Stone told Perry. “In a few months, as soon as Charlize is fit.”


Katy saw the look of shock and dismay on Charlize's face and grinned. “Sure. Whatever you want, Ms. Stone. Always happy to oblige The Academy. I look forward to many more chances to introduce my fists to Charlize's jubblies. That was a night I'll remember and relive often in...” she paused, looking directly into Charlize's eyes and her psyche, before adding with emphasis, “....my DREAMS!”


Charlize couldn't hide the shudder of dread that shot thru her.


Smirking, Katy backed out and shut the door behind her, leaving everyone speechless.


* * * * *
An hour later and Katy had just finished telling her girlfriends about her visit to Theron's dressing room. They were all doubled over with laughter as Katy described the look on Charlize's face when she said the word, “DREAMS.”


“But how did you know it'd get that reaction?” Daniela asked.


“She reads minds, didn't you know that?” Dennings joked.


“No, really. What's the true story,” K-Stew wanted to know. “Because if you can read Theron's mind, I have to know how to do it before we start shooting the sequel to 'Snow White.' Last time she got me in a world of trouble over a silly little flirtation with our director.”


Jewel guffawed. “The director was married and your 'silly little flirtation' was a month long affair.”


Then Katy explained how she could 'read' Theron so accurately. “I cheated. I went over there intending to check that she was OK, her head really smacked the ring hard. When I got there and was about to knock, I heard raised voices. I figured I'd better be sure I was welcome, so I eavesdropped at the door. I overheard Charlize describe her weird dream, or hallucination, or whatever it was like I told you. Then just as I raised my hand to knock, Stone started this mumbo-jumbo, psycho-babble about paranoia, dream interpretation and all that. It sounded like a cross between Doctor Phil, Doctor Kinsey and Sigmund Freud. By the time she finished, Charlize was a mess and the rest of them were as confused as anything.


So I went in, said my piece and waited. I was positive Theron would ask for a rematch, but she didn't. Instead, Stone brought it up. I could see Charlize wanted no part of it, so when I saw the opening, I just made a big thing of pausing and looking right at Charlize when I said that was a KO that I'd DREAM about. She looked like she was going to faint! I tell you, she won't get in the ring with me for a long time, maybe never again.


Kat Dennings giggled and suggested, “Maybe you can do the same thing with Lawrence. I don't think she's afraid to get in the ring with you, at least not yet. You didn't give her a concussion.”


Katy considered that. “Well, if Theron talks to her she might freak her out. Worst case, I'll fight Lawrence again and maybe this time I will give her a concussion.”


“Or she gives you one,” Ruah offered. “There's always that chance.”


Katy shrugged. “What will be, will be. Que sera, sera.”


Kristin Stewart made a face. “I hate song lyrics. Why does everyone quote song lyrics to make a point?”


“Not Like The Movies,” Katy snapped out.
* * * * * *
Meanwhile, out in the parking lot, Sunny McKay was on her cellphone. “Dammit Cat, I'm not kidding! She actually had a dream, or hallucination, something... about us conspiring against her. Somewhere down deep in her subconscious, she KNOWS about us! We better act fast or I'll be out there on 'survivor island' with you; then it'll be just you and me surrounded by sharks.”

COMING SOON: THE PERILS OF CHARLIZE, CHAPTER 69: CHARLIZE & TESS AT FIGHT CLUB

 

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