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30 November 2014 Gemma Arterton vs Heidi Klum

Page history last edited by Vassago 9 years, 3 months ago

INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT AT THE ASYLUM PPV

Posted by Lookout! Boxing & The Wiz on November 30, 2014, 7:09 pm

BEFORE:

"Back to Philadelphia," says Heidi, shaking her head. "I have, I'll admit, been unlucky here. I got hometowned on a decision and caught with a lucky punch. Well, the third time is a charm. Tonight, I'm going to beat Arterton, and prove just how fluky those losses to Front Street's LESSER lightweights were."

"The thing about Heidi," says Gemma without a trace of a smile, "Is that she's better than people think she is, but not quite as good as SHE thinks she is. There's no question she's coming in here thinking she's the better fighter. It's my job to prove her wrong."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that's 'Wonderland' by John Mayer and that can only mean the lovely supermodel Heidi Klum is on her way to the ring..."

Cassie: "Klum's still smoking hot even in her 40s..."

McCarthy: "That's THAT supposed to mean?"

Cassie: "Um, that Klum is HOT and she's in her 40s?"

McCarthy: "I KNOW you're taking a shot at ME, but, for YOUR information, I was hotter than Klum when we were in our TWENTIES, I was hotter than her when we were in our THIRTIES, and I'm hotter than her NOW..."

Tess: "Truck, bring Mac a new headset. Her head swelled and snapped one again..."

McCarthy: "SHUT IT, WALMART..."

O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Heidi enters the ring and is helped off with the robe to reveal that white number she likes, and that's 'London Calling' by The Clash you hear, and here comes 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton..."

Tess: "Wiz has often called Gemma his best fighter..."

McCarthy: "Which shows what Weirdo knows. NOTHING. TORV is his best fighter and he should be pushing HER instead of wasting time with these other lights..."

O'Dell: "Arterton down the aisle and into the ring, helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that violet bikini she likes, and we're just about ready to go. Time to get some picks. Tess likes Gemma. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Klum is a typical Dancing Hooker opponent. Hasn't won a fight in years and not going to start tonight."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "And, there's the bell. Heidi quickly walking forward behind that long left jab. Klum pop-pop-popping that thing. Gemma unconcerned. Has the gloves up, picking them off, showing good footwork. Klum wants to locate and get square, but not happening. Gemma angling, moving side to side, has the head and shoulders in motion, slipping past the left, landing a flurry, backing Klum up."

Cassie: "There's nothing technically wrong with Klum. She's very sound. Always has been. And she's athletic. Always in good shape. But, she's a little robotic at times, and that can be taken advantage of."

O'Dell: "And that's just what Gemma's doing now. She's timing those jabs, slipping them, getting to her spots and scoring before Heidi can reset. Klum busy, though. And not just with lefts. Trying to work rights off the jab as well. Not willing to be thrown onto the defensive by the British beauty."

McCarthy: "Klum needs to move her feet more. Arterton's angling all over her right now."

O'Dell: "She's certainly having the better of things. Heidi getting off, but not finding the range or her spots. She's throwing a good volume, but not landing much. Arterton, on the other hand, just as busy, but getting the leather home. As we head down the stretch, Gemma a good, solid flurry that forces Heidi to cover up. Arterton responds to the body and Klum ties up, shoves off, lands a right hand, and there's the bell. Good, solid first for Arterton."

Tess: "Certainly was. Wasn't much she wanted to do that she couldn't get done."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second begins with more ranged work from Heidi. Klum looking to use the long left to set up right hands, but she's still having problems getting it on target. Arterton a veteran at this gun-platform stuff, and you're seeing how effective she is at it, slipping the left, getting off, forcing Klum to cover up."

McCarthy: "Heidi might have to get more aggressive, Jenny. I don't think she can box at range against Arterton."

O'Dell: "It's definitely looking like these aren't terms that are going to work for Heidi. Klum getting beaten to punches and just can't get Gemma squared up. Arterton very slick with the footwork and even slicker with the hands. She's putting punches together extremely well."

Tess: "You're seeing why both of the ranking publications have Gemma so high. There's not a whole lot she can't do in there."

O'Dell: "And, for the moment at least, there's not a whole lot Heidi CAN do against Gemma. She's working hard, no question about that, but Gemma in firm control as we head down the stretch. Arterton in rhythm, fighting lead, forcing Klum onto the defensive right to the bell."

Cassie: "Those are two pretty dominant rounds from Gemma. She's up 20-18 after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Into the third now, and we're seeing exactly what Mac was calling for from Klum. Heidi coming forward behind the jab now, looking to close and bang with Gemma. Arterton not going to circle or give ground. She's hanging in there and banging back and, that quickly, we've got the terms we had in the last fight."

McCarthy: "Of COURSE she's doing what I was calling for! Everyone knows I know more about boxing than anyone in the FCBA!"

Cassie: "Yes, EVERYone knows THAT..."

McCarthy: "Well, it's about time you recognize my intellectual inferiority..."

Cassie: "I've acknowledged that all along, Mac. All along."

O'Dell(sighing): "Meanwhile, back in the ring, we're seeing some sharp, toe-to-toe exchanges in there. Both fighters moving the feet, looking to stay off square, but both getting some leather home in these flurries. Both head and body being banged in there."

Tess: "And Heidi definitely holding her own this round, Jenny."

O'Dell: "She is. Klum able to find the target at the shorter range, able to put punches together for the first time. Gemma comfortable here, too, mind, but she's no longer dominating the blonde. Klum having her moments in there, and more than a few of them. Five seconds left. And there's the bell. Much better round for Heidi."

Tess: "No question. Klum on the board, cutting Gemma's lead to 29-28 after three."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth begins with Klum walking forward behind her left again. Arterton holding canvas and we're right back to close-in work, which is clearly what Heidi prefers right now. Arterton a good left hook, backs Klum up a step. Heidi flurries, but Gemma responds and backs her up again with a right hand."

Cassie: "Gemma not holding anymore, she's taking now."

O'Dell: "That, she is. Arterton turning up the aggression, backing Klum up with some heavy shell. Heidi can't hold canvas. She's fighting hard to do so, but she's getting backed up consistently. Klum clinching now, trying to slow Gemma down, but the Brit punches free and lands a good right hook, backing Klum up again."

Tess: "Gemma getting off some really beefy shots here, Jenny. Klum responding in kind, but the weight of shot favors Arterton."

O'Dell: "No doubt of it, and if you had any, all you'd have to do is look at the trajectory of the two fighters. The brunette forward. The blonde backward. Heidi resolute. She's hanging in there as best she can, but Gemma taking more and more canvas. There's the bell and the fourth is in the books. Arterton back in control."

McCarthy: "39-37 on the card. Fight's far from over, but Klum needs to find some answers."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth opens with Klum looking to jab for space. Arterton working forward, using the feet to slip past those long lefts. Gemma closing and banging, going body now. Hedi tying up, shoving off. Getting back to range where she can box."

McCarthy: "For the first time we're seeing a fight for terms. Both wanted range the first two rounds, both wanted close stuff the next two. Now, they each want something different."

O'Dell: "And both getting some of what they want. Heidi able to jab Gemma at times, keep her off and in range for right hands, but the younger woman using that footwork, sliding past Heidi's glove, working body in tight."

Cassie: "Those are some nasty body shots Gemma's landing..."

O'Dell: "AND THAT LEFT HOOK TO THE MIDSECTION HURT KLUM! Heidi doubled up and DOWN SHE GOES!"

McCarthy: "Right uppercut planted Klum on her back!"

O'Dell: "Heidi on her back, head lolling from side to side, gloves at her midsection as the count reaches three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight..."

Cassie: "It's over."

O'Dell: "Nine. TEN! That's it! Klum still on her back as the count passes her by, and your winner by KO5 is 'The Gravesend Gladiator', Gemma Arterton!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Gemma Arterton, and Gemma, it seems like she just didn't have any answers for you tonight..."

Gemma: "I'm comfortable doing a lot of things in there, Tess. If you want to box, I can do that, and if you want to bang, get physical, I can do that, too. I kind of just adjusted to what she was doing there for awhile, and then, I decided it was time to take control."

Tess: "Everyone knows you've been pushed toward a title shot. You're pretty high in all the rankings..."

Gemma(shrugging): "I can't control any of that, so there's no point in worrying about it. I just take care of what I can take care of and let the rest take care of itself."