Posted by OddManOut/Lookout results on January 11, 2015, 1:48 pm

Before: (By Ginny) The FCBA firing up the “way back machine” to bring us this “retro bout” with two great stars from the 1990's in a welter contest we may never see again since both are well into their forties (CZJ, 45; Bell, 46). Still and all, they're iconic brunette's who still turn heads - and look great sweating and bouncing around a boxing ring wearing tiny costumes.

Catherine Zeta Jones is on loan from Mirage for this evening's welterweight contest. Since Odds & Ends doesn't have a legit welter on the roster, Odd Man apparently cut some kind of 'back room' bargain with Mirage. Whatever the truth, CZJ and Cat Bell have a history so it's no surprise that “Catherine The Great” would want another chance to get her hands (fists?) on her long-time nemesis “Cat” Bell. That she can do it on the same night that Theron is risking her 'Body Saddle' reputation is a bonus.

“There's no secret that Cat and I have had a love-hate relationship for years,” CZJ purrs in her sexy, throaty, English accented voice. “We were born a year apart – she's older – in England. So we have that in common. We also have similar feelings about the two blonds, Jeri Ryan and Charlize Theron - though lately I'm not sure anyone knows what's going on between Bell and Charlize, not even them.

“Still, when I was offered the chance to fight Bell again on the same night Charlize and Ad Lima were going to contest a Body Saddle bout, I couldn't turn it down. I was going to buy a ticket for Lima's fight anyway, but now I have a free ringside seat. Michael's thrilled; I saved several hundred dollars which I can not put toward a down payment on a new gown for the Oscars!”

Zeta Jones declined to predict a winner in the Lima-Theron rubber match, but Charlize's “good friend” and Academy member wasn't shy about saying what she thought. “Charlize has not been her old self lately. In fact, she's just been looking 'old' period. Lima's 33 y/o, in her prime. Char is 39 y/o and even she has to know her best - like her butt - is behind her! I don't say that to be bytchy, I love Charlize dearly but she needs to hear the truth. She can still compete if she wants to, but she's got to pick and choose her opponents carefully now. She can no longer take on the “biggest and best” and expect to win. She couldn't even beat ME in her stoopid challenge, what does that tell you!”

Asked about Zeta Jones, Bell just laughed. “She's older than Theron, that's all you need to know. She was never in my class as a fighter, and never will be. It's sad to see how they're taking advantage of her reputation as an actress to sell tickets for a fight, but that's the life we chose. She's just lucky she's fighting me because my body sells more tickets than her face, that's for sure. If not for me, the place would probably be half full tonight,” she says, ignoring the fact just about everyone in Hollywood wants to see the Lima-Theron main event!

Bell in blue JAG bikini, white gloves, black shoes; Catherine Z back to her favorite yellow bikini, red mitts, shoulder length, loose tangle, black shoes.

Fans ringside commenting on the ladies figures. Betting running 60-40 that CZJ has finally caught, and even surpassed, Bell in the all-important “cup size” metric. The more generally accepted “tale-of-the-tape” however slightly favor Bell (height: +2”, weight: +5 lbs, reach: +2”). Stamina the great unknown as neither is very active at their advanced ages. Still, if recent activity counts, that too favors Bell. Cat's FCBA record is 6-6 since 2011 while Zeta Jones' in the same time is 0-2-1 – and she hasn't fought in the 10 months since her TKO4 loss to Jen Lawrence who sits ringside tonight supporting stablemate Bell.
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R1: Bell staying back, using her height, jabbing Jones’ forehead as the smaller girl looks to step into hooks. A minute in, jarring right hand intercepts CZJ on the jaw, backs her off. Cat B over to offence, swinging punches into Jones’ midriff—CZJ issuing the fights first breathless clinches, wincing as she holds Cat B close for the break. Bell cautious rest of the way, keeping Jones out on the end of the jab, threatening her with right hands, stepping clockwise to turn CZJ’s flank to the bell, Shutout with power Cat Bell: textbook opening stanza for the veteran.

R2: Jones reaches to touch up left hands and promptly catches Bell a sweeping right hand on the eye that jerks her a quarter turn to her left. CZJ swarming, putting her punches together, working up from Bell’s waist to the jaw to drape her on the ropes. Jones settles down half way through, she’s got Cat B hurt, but not ready to go and she knows it. CZJ stepping in and out with her prey’s back to the ropes, stooping down to pound left hands to the trunk line, bending in with vicious overhand rights to the head. Bell keeps her dukes up but mostly getting shoved sideways against the ropes as she soaks up a pounding in the second.

R3: Bell comes out aggressive, Jones jabbing judiciously while stepping to her left, counter-clockwise movement gives CZJ initiative in the fourth. Cat B stalking, but not cutting off the ring—every time she hounds Jones to ropes, CZJ ducks, comes up with a hug around her ribs and gets the break. Jones spotting her jab belly, breasts and chin, she SHOWS the right hand, but it’s a feint this round just keeping Bell off balance. CZJ using class to take this round, pulling ahead as she runs her foe down.

R4: Bell jabs belly, Jones on her heels, looking tentative. Minute mark, Cat B steps in, slaps a wide left hook behind the neck to gather CZJ in, then leans in to a short, pulverizing right hand to forehead. JONES STEPPING IN FENCE POST HOLES! CZJ desperately hurt, reaches in to a loose clinch around Bell’s waist. Cat B reaching around, slapping away at Jones’ back and butt until the ref moves in to break. Tears in Jones’ eyes, as Bell piles on the punishment, she’s being rudely beaten at this point, whipped around the ring. Bell walking her prey down and pushing her pillar to post. CZJ shying away on her bicycle, reaching in to clinch when cornered. Bell just being strong, moving her hands even as Jones is trying to grapple, bashing tummy and ribs with chugging action.

R5: Bell rolling in to finish, holding up the high guard to block, but Jones is willing to trade this time, letting her hands go and spanking Bell from the hips all the way up to her ears. Bell getting off with little left uppercuts out of the guard, but Jones able to step out, times a punch and fits her left hook nicely to Cat Bell’s chin. Bell stumbling forward on herky-jerky legs. Jones stepping with and reefing lefts and rights to the ribs at the bell. Big round CZJ and now it's Bell who's badly hurt!

R6: Jones still working the body to set up the head, cheek to cheek with Bell she’s leading well, waltzing her prey back onto her heels, holding, hitting and turning with grinding zeal. Cat Bell pushing and trying to tie up, but she's getting chewed up by a very busy CZJ. Late in the round, Jones taps Bell upside the head with a swatting left, spinning her around, then doubles the left hook into her exposed back and kidneys. BELL GOES DOWN! Withering blast to the body leaves Bell crumpled in agony, collapsing onto all fours and sucking wind badly. Jones paces in a neutral corner as Bell, sobbing and shaking her head, barely hears the count pass her by. Catherine Zeta Jones gets the KO6!

After: (By Ginny) CZJ - knowing this could be her last opportunity to do so - hustles over, grabs Bell's left arm and drags the barely able to resist brunette off her stool. Getting her upright, she levers her arm into a hammerlock, adding a handful of damp, sweaty, hair to force the bigger brunette onto her toes with her head bent backward to force her bosom up and out. Using a knee to the glutes to get her going, CZJ starts Cat marching with her proud bosom thrusting out in an uber-humiliating Walk of Shame. Zeta Jones takes Cat to each side of the ring, using the hammerlock to force her against the ropes, then shoves her head and shoulders forward, laying her heaving bosom over the top rope with her head back. She's giving everyone a good long look at the 'Good Witches' jiggly breasts.
After a tour all four sides, Catherine The Great takes Cat for another round, this time to the four corners; taking two or three times as long to display her “trophy” to the “Odd Girls” to encourage them for the important battle to follow. Her last stop is the Academy corner.

There she bends Bell over and pushes her upper body thru the ropes, then gives her “bum” several hard spanks, then leaves Cat draped over the middle strand while she prances back to her corner where she gets a clamorous welcome from her “team” led by Head Trainer Kelly Carlson and 'Face of the Franchise' Claire Holt.