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30 January 2015 Katie Holmes vs Halle Berry

Page history last edited by Vassago 9 years, 1 month ago

 

OFFICIAL SSB PPV

 

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on January 30, 2015, 9:10 pm

 

Katie Holmes (37yo, 5'9”) vs Halle Berry (48yo, 5'6”)
Words: Ginny / Oddman / Results: Lookout!)


Before: Mirage stepping up big time in the form of Katie Holmes who is eager to achieve “legendary” status, if not “fame” as “the woman who retired Halle Berry.” Of course, Berry will have something to say about that. “Just because I'm leaving the Academy doesn't necessarily mean I won't be fighting in the FCBA every now and then. These,” she grabs her juggs and gives the girls a good shake, “still draw a crowd and I'm confident there's promoters smart enough to pay me to get in their rings wearing a bikini. And I've no doubt there are lecherous old perverts who'd pay thru the nose for the chance to watch some young chippy try to knock my cups askew.
“My only regret about my time at The Academy is that I didn't get more fights. There are girls out there I can beat, even some half my age. All I need is a fair opportunity. I could list ten names today, but I won't. I don't want to embarrass anyone. This is my going away party and I'm determined not to leave a sour taste in anyone's mouth...anyone but Holmes, that is.”
* * *
Katie shrugs off media attempts to portray the raven haired beauty as “the opportunist” one tabloid headline called her. “I'm just a girl trying to make a living,” she purrs Catwomanishly. “I should have had the role of Catwoman in “Dark Knight” instead of that pussycat Hathaway. And back when they gave the role to an over-the-hill, has-been in Berry I was the perfect age to re-boot the franchise playing a young woman who became Catwoman. So yeah, maybe I'm a little bitter, but that doesn't mean I don't respect the nearly half century career that Ms Berry has clung onto by her fingernails like some aging diva who has to be dragged off the stage at the end of the opera. So long, Halle, it's been good to know ya.”
Sharon Stone, Halle's co-star (and foil) in 2004's “Catwoman” lavishes praise on the Oscar winner. “It was a pure joy to cross claws with Halle - both on the set and off,” the blond Academy mentor says on media day. “I pushed hard to get her into Ginny's Academy and she was an icon to the younger girls. We'd have kept her around but Ginny felt it was time to cut some ties and Halle 'volunteered' to go. She has her hands full with the “X-men” franchise, her TV series, and she's also got several films in the works for the next year or two. I wouldn't be surprised if Halle's still in demand when Holmes is long forgotten.”
* * * *
Both women going for the “throwback jersey” look. Holmes in the same outfit she wore in her last win - almost a year ago (see: Katrina Bowden, Feb. 2014). Katie rockin' a black lace bra and matching panties with small black gloves, her long, dark, hair twisted in back with long strand-bangs framing her face. Halle also harkens back to “the glory days of yesteryear” with the iconic orange bikini from the 2002 Bond film “Die Another Day” - the same one she last wore in a boxing ring at her 2011 battle vs Ashlee Simpson. Coincidentally, it was also Halle's last FCBA victory!
 
* * * *
During R1: Berry storms out of her corner like she's late for her bus...or knows her best chance to win is by getting Holmes early. Halle giving away almost four inches in height and reach, must get inside if she hopes to hang around long enough to hear the decision. Holmes using those long, ropy, runners, legs; bouncing as she circles left behind a stiff jab. Halle rebuffed again and again as she ducks, dips, feints, head-fakes and finally, in frustration, simply lowers her head and charges. Berry drives her head into Holmes belly and Katie WHOOFs. Halle wraps her arms around the tall brunette's hips, grabs glute, and drives her backward into the ropes. As the referee saunters casually over to break it up, Halle hammers Holmes flanks with both fists. Grinning ref gives Berry a finger wagging warning while Holmes catches her breath. Final seconds of the round see Katie pounding Halle backward into her own corner putting some mileage on that “almost half century old body.” At the bell: Halle's face flushed, swelling under her left eye from Holmes' jab. Katie breezes to her corner as she comfortably wins a competitive first round.

R2: Stone frantic in Halle's corner but the swelling looks under control as Halle comes out for the second, her bikini top jiggling. Halle stays aggressive, chasing Holmes down, wrestling her to the ropes for a mugging. Referee tolerant, giving Katie a chance to work her way out of trouble but finally intervenes when Holmes corner protests loudly. Holmes' middle pinked up prettily by Halle's inside work. Halle goes back for more, but she's rocked by a counter left and forced to clinch. Katie orders a side of ribs and a helping of Halle lats in the clinch. Halle's face to the referee, eyes pleading for a break but the ref gives her the same chance to 'fight out of it' he gave Holmes – with the same result... he finally has to break them up. Halle backstepping thru the final 30-40 seconds, pawing ineffectively at Katie who cautiously digs a few into Berry's breadbasket, not that anxious to risk the lead she's built up after two. Bell. Study in contrasts. Halle, bikini top heaving as she trudges to her corner; Katie, hi-five from hers. Holmes wins the round wide on all three cards.

R3: Stone earning her money between rounds, gets Berry bucked up just in time for the bell. Holmes walking in on the older woman, gets caught flush with a right hand lead and rocked back on her heels. Berry boring in with a grim visage, knowing it's make or break for her this round. At her age, she's not going to be digging her way out of a 3-0 hole against a 5'9” woman who's ten years plus younger. Halle digging to Katie's body, using her left hook to wear down the bigger brunette, chopping her down to size with the right. Several times, Holmes' legs give a shimmy, but she leans on Berry, hugging her head, pulling face into cleavage for some breathtaking relief, giving up her body in the process. Third verse, same as the first two – down the stretch Katie getting big on Halle, using those long arms to whip-lash Halle's head from side-to-side. Bell: it's Berry hanging on, but even so, her good early work earns her the round to narrow her rounds deficit to 1-2.

R4: Halle greeted with a hug and a spank from Stone on her arrival, then Cat Bell goes to work on that left eye which is swelling again. For the first time in the fight, Holmes trainer, Jennifer Lopez, gets in her face, berating her for “letting that old woman man-handle you.” Katie red-faced by the talking to (or maybe the glimpse at Mirage General Manager Catherine Zeta Jones who's ringside talking on her cellphone - with her hand on Katie's hubby Tom Cruise's thigh!!) Whatever lit a fire under Holmes, it certainly got her head back in the game! Berry out to build on her comeback round; Katie out like a woman on a mission. Both women let fly with both fists and for the opening minute fans are treated to the best exchange of the fight so far as both women score with a half dozen or so solid connects. Midway, the action slows as both need a break from the non-stop action. Berry tries to stay inside Katie's wide sweeping power; Holmes tries to stay outside where her footwork and reach can protect her. Each is successful some of the time, but neither is able to sustain anything until the final minute when a looping overhand right by Holmes staggers Halle. Berry clinches, but instead of holding her, Katie pounds punches to the body with both fists. Halle, with a faceful of Holmes' cleavage, and a handful of Holmes' glutes, soaks up the punishment with little coming back. At the bell, it's Katie's round and she's bouncy and bubbly when J-Lo greets her. Across the ring, Halle drops wearily on her stool, her butt making a sweaty, SPLAT, as she collapses, leans forward with her elbows on her knees and sucks big gulps of air, her tawny bosom heaving as she tries to catch her breath.

R5: Be careful what you wish for! Halle Berry looking desperate as she charges out of her corner and attacks Katie Holmes with what can only be described as a furious onslaught. Holmes, taken off guard, rocked by lefts and rights as she retreats under a fusillade of blows from the 'Dark Goddess' (the nickname Charlize hung on her early in their somewhat tempestuous relationship in the Academy gym in the wake of their Oscar winning pictures).
Halle buries her right in Holmes belly, takes a left high on the side of her head, then responds with a left of her own that sends Holmes reeling to the ropes in disarray. Halle piling on, walks right into a sweet uppercut that stops her in her tracks. Katie sets herself, then drives a straight right hand smack on the button. Berry dropped in her tracks by the huge right hand, rolls onto her back, knees in the air. Holmes turns toward the cameras, grins and blows on her gloves, then with a shake of her behind, she struts to a neutral corner to await the count out.
Halle, writhing around, manages to roll over and crawls to the ropes, her impressive decolletage at any second about to spill out of her orange top which is doing all it can to hold the censors at bay!
Halle drags herself to her knees, only dimly aware of the referee tolling “SEVEN!” She gets to one knee at “EIGHT!” and just rises to a half couching pose at “NINE!”
The referee leans in, peering into her cleavage it looks like on the PPV TV feed...checks her gloves and asks her what day it is. “Holmes...last...day...” she pants between racking breaths thru her mouthguard. The referee wipes off her gloves and steps aside, eager to get home to his wife, kids and re-runs of “CSI: Celebrity Boxing.”
Holmes looks up and blinks, unable to believe her eyes. “The bytch got up?” she mutters to her corner. Lopez, shaking her head in disbelief, just says, “Well, do whatcha gotta do. But hurry up, I promised the sitter I'd be home by ten!”
Katie takes a deep breath, hitches up her black lace panties, then stalks across the ring to put an end to Halle Berry's FCBA career for good. Holmes turns her hips, winds up, and swings with everything she has. And misses!! Halle ducks and comes up inside of Katie's roundhouse punch, wraps her arms around Katie's chest, buries her face in the brunette's cleavage and hangs on for dear life. For a second or two, the beautiful actresses waltz around like a couple of drunken dykes looking for a room, but then Katie shrugs off Halle's embrace, pushes her back with her left hand and brings her right fist up from her knees. On the button!
Halle's out before her knees get the message to bend. She topples over backward, arms flung out; hitting the mat with a dull THUMP; spread-eagled; her always Oscar worthy bosom jiggling and rolling in her top; legs limp; feet turned out. As Holmes stumbles forward, she steps on Halle's stomach and tumbles headfirst into the referee who catches her and puts her upright. After taking a look at Berry's body, the ref waves off the (unnecessary) count and calls the medics.
While photographers snap pictures of Holmes posed with her right foot on Berry's left breast, pressing down and flatting it – she boasted later, “just like I flattened her” - at ringside, the Academy's eminence gris, Ginny, had her phone out talking. “Actually, I'm shocked she made it past the fourth round.” (pause) “No let it ride. Gimme Beckinsale double or nothing on a stoppage.”
Katie turned around and posed for those on the opposite side of the ring, this time with her left foot on Halle's right breast, squashing that one flat as well. Sharon Stone came rushing out of her corner toward Halle's prostrate body. Dropping to her knees and cradling Halle in her lap, Stone shed real tears, the silver droplets dripping from her cheeks onto Berry's blank face as she rocked back and forth, moaning softly and cursing her own, “bad luck” at having to train so many “over the hill train wrecks.” (at least that's what it sounded like on the audio of the video TMZ provided to us gratis!)
* * * *
After: The same right hand that left Olga Kurylenko “tits up for 10” ended Halle Berry's night, and probably her FCBA career. But all's not lost for Ms. Berry. The ringside photographers swarming the ring captured photographic proof of what everyone has known for years – when it comes to being “tits up” Halle Berry has it all over fellow “Bond babe” Olga Kurylenko!
Holmes couldn't have been more full of herself, though she tried her best to be humble. “I'm the woman who ended Halle Berry's delusion that she was a fighter. Sure, she's got a rack to die for, but as I keep telling Barbie Blank, it takes more than taa-taa's make you a fighter. This ain't 'rasslin' baby!” After a pause, Katie comes to her senses and the platitudes roll. “Seriously, Halle was one of the all-time great actresses of her generation and an example for women of color world-wide. Thankfully, I only ended her boxing career, not her career, career, so there's going to be plenty of her in years to come.”
Halle took a long time in her dressing room before coming out to face the media, but just showing up proved she's a true professional in every sense of the word. Her face was bruised and her left eye was swollen nearly closed, but her cheekbones were still perfect! “I wish I could have done a better job for my fans tonight. Losing is always tough; but losing what is probably my last fight was especially hard. I want to thank the members of the Academy, all the little people – thank you Charlize and Cat – and those who helped make me a success on the screen and, on the nights that I won, in the ring. Thank you Sharon Stone, for believing in me when no one else did. Now, all the young ingenues are going to have to look for some other old broad to kick around. I only hope none of them ever plummet to the depths of their careers the way I have tonight.
“I will leave you now with the words the late, immortal, James Francis Durante as my farewell, 'Good night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.”
With that, gorgeous Academy award winning actress, turned and left the stage, and probably the FCBA. Good-bye Halle, you'll be missed. (sniff) 

 

 

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