| 
  • If you are citizen of an European Union member nation, you may not use this service unless you are at least 16 years old.

  • Stop wasting time looking for files and revisions. Connect your Gmail, DriveDropbox, and Slack accounts and in less than 2 minutes, Dokkio will automatically organize all your file attachments. Learn more and claim your free account.

View
 

28 February 2015 Gisele Bundchen vs Serinda Swan

Page history last edited by Vassago 5 years, 8 months ago

 

FEBRUARY FISTICUFFS AT THE ASYLUM

 

Posted by The Grand Wizard on February 28, 2015, 10:59 pm

 

BEFORE:

"Serinda Swan," Gisele says contemptuously. "She's not even a real model let alone a SUPERmodel. And, she is what I have been reduced to, because the models duck me. I took Decker the distance and in three years...THREE YEARS since, not one model would fight me! Where is Swanepoel? Where is Lima? Where is Upton? Where is my rematch with Decker? They all run, because they know I will destroy them on the scales, humiliate them in the disrobe, and beat them in the ring. Yes, I am frustrated. And I will take that frustration out on Serinda Swan!"

"Man," says Serinda with the hint of a smile, "She sure is mad at a lot of models. I'm surprised she's not ticked at Cheryl Tiegs and Christie Brinkley, too. And, I get that I'm not a supermodel, so, I guess I'm not WORTHY and all that. Which means it's really going to suck for Gisele when this non-supermodel knocks her out."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Come On' by Blackcowboy, and here comes the lovely Gisele Bundchen..."

McCarthy: "Bundchen is a joke. She shows up here once a year talking about how underrated and put upon she is, then loses to a random Dancing Hooker and disappears until Weirdo calls her again."

O'Dell: "Gisele into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal that seafoam green bikini that has the audience buzzing, and that's 'Foxey Lady' by Jimi Hendrix and here comes 'The Hottest Player In The Game', Serinda Swan!"

Cassie: "Here's the part where Mac says whatever game Serinda's the hottest player in must be one Mac has never played..."

McCarthy: "SHUT IT, SCABBO!"

Tess: "Truck, cue the video..."

McCarthy: "Truck, don't you..."

(McCarthy: 'Apparently, I've never been IN that game...'

McCarthy: 'Well, I guess I'm no longer IN "The Game", since I'm retired...'

McCarthy: '"Hottest player" MY...'

McCarthy: 'The "Game" she's referring to must be Chinese Checkers, because I don't PLAY Chinese Checkers...'

McCarthy: 'You mean "The hottest ACTIVE Player In The Game"! Now that I'M retired, I suppose she can make an argument...'

McCarthy: 'She's not even the hottest player in this BUILDING unless I go out for a Starbucks...')

McCarthy: "...RUNNING VIDEO WHEN I TELL YOU NOT TO RUN VIDEO! DON'T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE, YOU..."

O'Dell: "Mac..."

McCarthy: "...BUNCH OF TALENTLESS BUTTON PUSHERS..."

O'Dell: "MAC!"

McCarthy: "WHAT?"

O'Dell: "We're back ON THE AIR!"

McCarthy: "Oh. Why didn't you say so? As for Swan, the only game SHE'D be the hottest player in is SUMO WRESTLING!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Serinda into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal the red two-piece she likes and the crowd LOVES..."

Cassie: "She's got quite the body..."

McCarthy: "Over. Rated."

O'Dell: "Fighters about ready to go, and that means time for some picks. Tess favors Serinda. Mac?"

McCarthy: "I hate both of them, but even SWAN can beat a no-talent like Bundchen."

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "Here we go, and Serinda immediately to the left jab..."

Cassie: "Like all the Front Street bigs, she's developed that heavy jab that will stop a fighter in her tracks and pops the head back a little."

O'Dell: "And she's making good use of it here. Serinda getting the angles she wants to get that home with good footwork, offsetting the reach advantage Gisele has. Bundchen, as always, fights straight up, using all that length to her advantage. She's technically very sound and has a very good left jab of her own."

Tess: "But, as you point out, Jenny, Swan, who's the best pure athlete at Front Street, using those quick feet to offset that range."

O'Dell: "Sure is. She's dipping inside the jab, getting her own left home, using it to set up good right hands. Gisele fighting mostly in counter, and that's not what she wants, is it, Mac?"

McCarthy: "No way. She's not a counter-puncher. She wants to fight lead."

O'Dell: "But Swanny not having any. She's grabbed that lead position and is staying on it, getting off first, landing accurate stuff, backing Bundchen up at times, and grabbing an easy, breezy win in the first. There's the bell, and Swan up 10-9."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Into the second, and Swan stepping up the aggression just a bit, not walking forward but, again, slipping past Bundchen's jab and putting punches together. She's backing Gisele up with some of those right hands, Mac..."

McCarthy: "She is. She's making Bundchen fight not only counter now, but off her back foot."

O'Dell: "Serinda very sound. Getting the hands back. Not giving Bundchen much to shoot at with the counters. She's suppressing Bundchen even more now, upping the work rate, forcing the supermodel to cover up again and again."

Cassie: "Serinda has that combination of speed and power that all the top lights have. She can beat you to the punch, and hurt you while she's doing it."

O'Dell: "Hasn't hurt Gisele yet, but she's definitely taking canvas from her now. Bundchen unable to dig in and hold, despite her best efforts. Swan in very good rhythm as we come down the stretch. Setting it all up with the jab, getting good flurries going and landing accurately to the bell. Another easy, breezy round for Serinda."

Tess: "And a 20-18 edge after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third underway and Swan still pressuring. Bundchen tying her up as she pops forward now, using that length to slow Serinda's offense. Swan trying to punch free and we've got some serious body work going on in there..."

McCarthy: "This is a nice little adjustment from Gisele. She's taking away some of Swan's quickness advantage."

O'Dell: "She is, indeed, Bundchen looking for any opportunity to tie up Swan, grabbing her behind the head, pulling the head down, dragging her in close, creating a sort of a grinding, inside fight with both girls banging body..."

Cassie: "And, when Swan punches free, Bundchen shoves off, lands a couple of jabs at range, and ties up again when Serinda comes forward."

O'Dell: "Not pretty, but plenty effective. Bundchen scoring better in this round than she has so far in the fight, and, even better for the Brazilian, she's cutting down the points Serinda's able to score. Final seconds ticking down. Swan thumping Gisele's midsection and Bundchen responding in kind. There's the bell, and Gisele on the board."

Tess: "29-28 for Swan, and Bundchen avoids that 30-27 hole that's so hard to dig out of."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth round begins with a little more lateral movement from Swan as she tries to dip and duck and prevent some of Gisele's clinching. Bundchen still using those long arms to tie up when possible, though, slowing the pace, creating a lot of inside work."

Tess: "Two tall girls like this, you don't usually see a lot of in-close fighting, do you, Mac?"

McCarthy: "Lots of rangy girls like to extend on their punches. Palicki likes to keep you out on the end of her jab, then drop that awesome right on you. Gisele usually wants to do that, too, but Swan's too quick and was getting off first on her, so she's changed tack."

O'Dell: "She has, and it's kept her in these last two rounds. Swan doing a good job of adjusting, though, she's powering through these clinches, punching out, really working the body, and Bundchen responding in kind and DOWN GOES SWAN AFTER A BODY SHOT..."

Cassie: "That was LOW!"

O'Dell: "Looked like it and Swan just went down like a shot!"

Tess: "Looked unintentional, Mac. Gisele seemed surprised when Swan went down..."

McCarthy: "No question it was unintentional...none."

O'Dell: "Intentional or not, the referee didn't see it and his count has reached five. Six. Seven. Swan has to beat this. Referee has NOT called a foul and is treating this as a knockdown. Eight. Nine. And Swan to her feet, clearly hurting here. Serinda takes the mandatory and on comes Gisele! Just a few seconds left in the round. Swan backed to the ropes and Bundchen thumping away at the body as Serinda stays in a high guard against the ropes. Five seconds left. Bundchen trying to get the stoppage but won't. There's the bell and, since that's going in the books as a knockdown, Gisele gets it 10-8..."

Tess: "And now leads 38-37."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "We're into the fifth and now it's Gisele coming forward. Bundchen all over Swan again..."

Cassie: "Serinda still hurt. Has no legs at all right now."

O'Dell: "And Bundchen taking full advantage. She's winging away with both hands. Swan in a high guard, backing up, catching most of this on her gloves, but Bundchen getting the odd punch through. There's not much coming back from Serinda, clearly in 'hold on' mode."

McCarthy: "She's a stationary target. Can't move much at all."

O'Dell: "Doesn't appear that she can and BUNDCHEN NAILS HER WITH A RIGHT HAND! SWAN WOBBLED AND DOWN SHE GOES AFTER A BIG FLURRY!"

Tess: "If she doesn't get up, we're going to have one of the bigger upsets in Asylum history..."

O'Dell: "Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Six. Swan to her knees. Seven. Eight. Serinda to her feet. Referee starts the mandatory and WAIVES IT OFF! HE WAIVES IT OFF! HE'S STOPPING IT!"

Tess: "Unbelievable!"

O'Dell: "And your winner by TKO5 is Gisele Bundchen!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "The crowd still buzzing here, but let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have..."

Gisele: "I WANT DECKER! DO YOU HEAR ME? I WANT DECKER! I KNOW SHE'S BACK THERE! GET HER OUT HERE AND LET'S SIGN IT NOW! WE'LL DO IT NEXT MONTH RIGHT HERE! WE'LL DO IT RIGHT NOW! GET HER DOWN HERE..."

Tess: "Gisele..."

Gisele: "YOU ALL SAW IT! THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU! THIS IS WHY THEY'RE ALL DUCKING ME! GET HER DOWN HERE! I WANT DECKER! I WANT HER NOW!"

Tess: "Back to you, Jenny..." 

 

 

Comments (0)

You don't have permission to comment on this page.