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28 February 2015 Kat Dennings vs Zooey Deschanel

Page history last edited by Vassago 9 years ago

FEBRUARY FISTICUFFS AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by The Grand Wizard on February 28, 2015, 11:01 pm

BEFORE:

"Things didn't exactly go well the last time I was here," Zooey says with a little smile. "They need to go better tonight, and they will. Much better."

"She's better than she looked when she fought here last time," says Kat with a nod. "She's no tomato can. What she also ISN'T is good enough to beat ME."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and that's 'This Isn't A Test' by She and Him, and here comes the singer of that song, Zooey Deschanel!"

McCarthy: "And before you say anything Walmart, I KNOW she's not the one on 'Bones'! She's on that show 'Nude Girl'. But, she obviously doesn't have a Playmate body, because I've seen a few episodes, and she NEVER gets naked in it!"

Tess: "Mac, it's not..."

Cassie: "Here's the part where I say, 'Worth it, Tess?'"

Tess: "Let's see, this is the third fight...nope, don't have time to explain it..."

McCarthy: "What ARE you two blithering on about?"

O'Dell(sighing): "You know, if they ever do a reboot of 'WKRP In Cincinnati', I'm going to audition for Andy Travis. I have PLENTY of experience..."

McCarthy: "The Loni Anderson role is MINE! Siri, call my agent!"

O'Dell: "They aren't...I just...Deschanel into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal a black and white striped bikini and a body that DOES get the crowd buzzing, and that's 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' pounding through the arena, and here comes Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"

McCarthy: "You know, since Weirdo and that phony Allison Mack stole MY nickname, maybe I'll make a comeback and call myself Jenny 'The Rack' McCarthy..."

Cassie: "You can't."

McCarthy: "Why NOT?"

Cassie: "Uncle Wiz TRADEMARKED the name 'The Rack', like he did all the other nicknames his girls use..."

McCarthy: "He cant DO that!"

Cassie: "He DID do that."

McCarthy: "Siri, call my lawyer!"

O'Dell: "Siri, call my psychiatrist and ask him why I keep doing this. Dennings into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that black number she likes..."

Tess: "And a set of curves the CROWD likes..."

O'Dell: "And, it's time for some picks. Tess likes Kat. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Dennings is doomed by having a terrible trainer like Campbell. Nude Girl in an upset!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"

O'Dell: "First round underway. Zooey jabbing for space in the early going. She's got some height and reach on Dennings and clearly plans to try to use it. Kat bobbing and weaving forward, getting in close, thumping when she does so. Dechanel tying up, forcing a break, getting back to the jab."

Cassie: "Good strategy by Deschanel. She does not want to get into a slugging contest with Kat."

O'Dell: "And Kat definitely wants to force those terms. She's pressuring as usual, working forward carefully. Not turning the heat up very high at this point. Probing Zooey's defenses. Deschanel popping that left hand, scoring points with it, while Kat works to penetrate. Dennings doing her scoring when she gets inside, working both upstairs and down."

McCarthy: "Deschanel keeping those opportunities brief, though, tying Dennings up in close and getting space again off the breaks."

O'Dell: "Neither woman hurried. Both working carefully as we head down the stretch in the first, feeling one another out, looking for opportunities. Ten seconds left. Deschanel jabbing away the final seconds and there's the bell. Good first for Zooey."

Tess: "And Deschanel takes the 10-9 lead."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Second round begins with Dennings making with the pressure, Kat closing quickly and banging away, working more body now, backing Zooey up with some good shots to the head as well. Deschanel not able to hold ground. Also not able to keep Kat off or tie her up effectively..."

Tess: "Dennings popping right past Zooey's glove, getting inside her defenses and going to work."

O'Dell: "And, the body is the target, no question about it. This is shades of her trainer and mentor, Neve Campbell, heaving, thumping shot to the midsection, ribs, lats. Lathering up Zooey with both hands."

Cassie: "Deschanel banging back now, as the round goes on. She doesn't really want this firefight, but she doesn't have much of a choice at the moment."

O'Dell: "She does not. Dennings pressuring, forcing engagement after engagement and getting heavy shot home. Kat spending more and more time on the body as the round goes on. Head is down. Level is low. Gloves finding the target. Final seconds and Zooey against the ropes taking right to the bell. Excellent round for Dennings."

McCarthy: "And we're even at 19."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third begins with Deschanel giving some ground. Zooey using the left jab and circling backward to get some distance and force Kat to stalk. Dennings resolute. Working forward. Moving the head. Keeping the hands up, getting inside and working, mostly body again."

McCarthy: "This is coming down to who gets terms, Jenny. When Zooey has distance, she scores well. It's not just jabs. She's landing solid rights, too."

O'Dell: "But, when Kat can close, Dennings gets the better of things. She bangs body, backs Zooey up with solid shot to the head. Deschanel game in there, fights back hard, but can't match the weight of shot Kat brings to the table."

Cassie: "Zooey isn't the only bantam who can't match Kat's power. Dennings is a very hard hitter. I've held her heavies. When she hits you, you know it."

O'Dell: "And she IS hitting Deschanel, but Zooey doing a good job of scoring and getting the terms she likes as well. The back and circle effective, turning this into a very close round. Final seconds tick off. Zooey jab-jab-cross. Kat slips forward, hooks body and there's the bell. Close to Deschanel."

Tess: "Who now leads 29-28."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Zooey back to the back step and circle, creating distance with the foot work. Dennings turning up the heat, though, coming forward harder, walking through some jabs and even right hands, determined to get to close range and thump away with those heavy hands."

Cassie: "This is good, aggressive stuff from Kat. Dennings wants to force Zooey's hand, and she's doing it. Making her punch for respect."

O'Dell: "She is, indeed. Deschanel lands a solid right hand there. Dennings responds with some good body shots and then NAILS ZOOEY WITH A RIGHT HOOK! Deschanel GOBSMACKED! Stumbles back to the ropes and Kat now going to work with both hands."

Tess: "That was a NASTY right, Jenny. Landed right on the button. Zooey did well to stay on her feet."

O'Dell: "And now she has to find away to do that for the next sixty seconds as Dennings fires bomb after bomb her way. Zooey covering up, moving the head and shoulders well, jabbing back in spots..."

McCarthy: "Deschanel showing some nice defense here. Hasn't panicked. She's keeping the guard high and picking off some of these punches."

O'Dell: "And, Dennings responds by going body in a big way as we head down the stretch, PLOWING hard leather into the ribs and misection. Zooey shipping it and keeping the gloves high right to the bell. Dennings' round wide, but Deschanel survives."

Tess: "38-38 after four."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth begins with Dennings right at Deschanel. Zooey giving ground, snapping out jabs, trying to keep Kat at bay, but Dennings not having it. She's walking through everything Deschanel throws at her and going to work."

Tess: "Kat definitely thinking about finishing here, Jenny."

O'Dell: "No question about it. She's letting both hands go, backing Zooey up. Deschanel game. Firing right back and we're getting some heavy exchanges now! Both girls landing BIG leather and DOWN GOES ZOOEY!"

Cassie: "Right hook did the damage in that exchange."

O'Dell: "Did, indeed! Landed on the jaw and Zooey blown to her back. Count at three. Four. Five. Deschanel rolls to her belly. Six. Seven. Eight. Zooey to all fours. Nine. TEN! Deschanel still on her hands and knees as the count passes her by and it's OVER. Your winner by KO5 is Kat 'The Rack' Dennings..."

McCarthy: "I'm getting TIRED of this Dennings. I may have to deal with her mySELF..."

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Kat Dennings, and, Kat, looked like you were all about the finish those last two rounds."

Kat: "You know, Tess, when you're just starting out, all you think about is 'knockout'. After you get some experience, you learn to fight your fight and the power punches will come. Then, you learn how and when to follow those up, how to finish. I've learned that."

Tess: "It sure seems like it these past few fights. What's up next for you?"

Kat: "Oh, you know me, Tess. Easy, breezy. I just work here. Boss says 'Fight', I fight."