Torrie Wilson vs Kate Upton

The Fighting Academy vs Lookout! Boxing
(Words: Front Street / Results: Lookout!)

BEFORE:

Not much build up needed for this one, a classic poster fight between gorgeous blondes, and there's plenty of natural seething hate, of course, with Wilson seeing Upton as an upstart who's gotten chances at this point in her career that Wilson never did simply because of her looks. "Let's face it. She's not that good," Wilson says with a shake of the head. "Who's she beaten? Nobody. What's she won? Nothing. She's a big deal because she's always falling out of her bra. Well, tonight, she's getting in with a real fighter, and I'm going to enjoy showing her the difference between that and what she is."

Kate, meanwhile, sees Torrie as an aging has-been who needs to move along and leave the playing field to younger, hotter girls like herself. "Torrie's just getting sad, you know. I mean, she was pretty good once...last decade...which is also when she was kind of hot. Now? She's trying to hang on when she's past it in the ring and her looks are shot, and she's old enough to be the mother of a lot of girls in the FCBA. And, now I have to go out and beat up my mom. Like I said. Sad."

ROUND ONE:

Seething hatred demonstrated immediately as the two fighters bare teeth and have at one another. Wilson fairly charges Upton, winging away at her and Kate won't back up a step. Instead, she fires back heavy, looking to knock off Wilson's block. It's mostly wild stuff, however, with little landing cleanly and nothing doing much damage. About a minute in, Wilson settles down and begins to work the left jab. This immediately causes problems for Kate, who's getting touched up and set up for solid right hands. Wilson only an inch shorter than Upton, so she can set up gun platform, which is her preferred style, and go to work. Torrie has good feet, and she uses them, turning counter-clockwise away from Kate's right hand and peppering the younger woman's gorgeous face with punches. Upton out of position, late, short, unable to respond effectively. At the bell, cold "how do you like that, bytch" stare from Wilson, who's gotten the first round and the 10-9 lead.

ROUND TWO:

Wilson back to work, jab, jab, jab. Upton clearly frustrated, unable to get the offense going. Hard right from Wilson backs Kate up, and Torrie comes forward, letting the hands go. Upton responds in kind and it's on. Here's that hatred writ large, just like the first minute of the fight.  Both girls stepping into punches, looking to punish, hurt, establish. It's all about establishing. Who's hotter. Who's stronger. Who's better. It's not as sloppy as the first minute, though. The girls have settled in, worked up a sweat, gotten the sights locked on. So, both are able to land heavy shot. Both blondes backed up a step on occasion, both have the heads snapped back. Neither, however, will back down. Neither will cede the field to the other. It's close and competitive throughout, but, when the smoke clears, Kate has evened the fight at 19.

ROUND THREE:

The exchange of artillery continues. One would think this kind of heavy shelling would favor Upton, who's nearly 20 years younger than Wilson, but a look at the two competitors belies that assessment. Upton, of course, in great shape,  but Wilson is the hard body. Pushing 40, she's got six-pack abs and is clearly at her top fitness level. She takes Kate's licking and keeps on ticking, keeps on firing back, keeps on smiting the hated younger woman with everything in her arsenal. The niceties of the late first round are long gone. This isn't exactly a brawl, because both women are setting up punches. Both are moving. Both are showing sound defense, but both are stepping into everything, winging power shot after power shot at their respective opponent. Again, it's close and competitive from first second to last, but, this time Wilson earns the points and leads 29-28.

ROUND FOUR:

More heavy shell.  Both blondes determined to blast their rival out of this thing.  Both determined not to allow the other to fight lead, to take the initiative, to take canvas. So, they stand at mid-range and thump away. Wilson begins working some serious body, trying to grind the younger girl down by hammering away at her midsection and ribs, inviting Kate to play that game, inviting her to try to work that six pack Torrie has downstairs. Upton not playing. Oh, there's some body work, but just enough to keep Wilson honest. She's concentrating upstairs. Kate knows she's got plenty of power, and she knows she can take Wilson out with it. It doesn't happen in the fourth, however, and, in yet another close, competitive round, Torrie grabs key points and extends her lead to 39-37.

ROUND FIVE:

This fight isn't devolving as much as evolving. Nobody's getting sloppy, but both sides are pouring more and more shell onto their rivals. The combat is getting heavier. The shots are getting harder. Heads are being snapped  back more frequently. And, yet, both sturdy blondes continue to ship the shell and keep firing back. Until. Upton lands a big overhand right. Wilson staggers, stumbles, nearly goes down. And now it's Upton who's smelling blood in the water. Kate's immediately all in, firing away with both hands, driving Torrie back into the ropes and giving her a serious beating. Wilson game, jabbing back, refusing to go into a shell, willing to take more hard shot, and take she does. She's wobbled twice more, but her sturdy legs hold her up and keep her there to the bell. When it rings, though, Upton's grabbed the round wide and cut Wilson's lead to 48-47.

ROUND SIX:

Kate looking to consolidate. Immediately forward and nailed by a right hand from Torrie! A chastened Upton forced to stop and dig in on the spot. Torrie, her quick recovery another example of the terrific shape she's in, gets to work with the left jab again. She's laser accurate with it, banging it home, pre-empting Upton, setting up hard right hands. Kate now covering up, thrown over to the defensive, working in counter as the older woman has grabbed the lead and isn't giving it up. As the round goes on Wilson begins backing the younger woman up with heavy flurries. Kate grudgingly giving up canvas before a heavy-handed onslaught. Wilson stepping into everything, rattling Upton, backing her up again and again. Then Torrie steps into a HUGE right hand. The wrong right hand. It's a booming counter from Kate and Wilson ragdolls at Upton's feet! Kate prances to a neutral corner as Wilson, down on her belly, arms trapped beneath her, remains in an unmoving puddle. Upton's smile gets bigger and bigger as it becomes clear Torrie is not going to beat the count. In fact, the older blonde never moves until well after the referee reaches ten. That quickly, a brutally competitive fight is over, and your winner by KO6 is Kate Upton!

AFTER:

Upton ebullient. "I told you all that she's past it. She's old and faded and can't compete with young, hot girls like me anymore. It was just a matter of time until I wore her down with my power. But, you know, it's not just Torrie. This welter division is full of women who are too old. Nolin's, what, a hundred? Romijn? She's a grandma! Kajlich? Diaz? Landry? Bell? Henstridge? Theron? Come on! These girls are fossils. They aren't beating me! I'm the future of this division. That's why the best manager in the FCBA, Paris Hilton, signed me. I'm not just going to make a big splash at welter, I'm going to dominate it, just like I dominated Torrie!"