CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK
Posted by Lookout! Boxing & Vassago on April 11, 2015, 3:43 pm
{{{ This was agreed for one of the previous PPVs, somehow forgotten by the original writer }}}
Celebrity Boxing After Dark
Jaime Pressly (Empire Boxing, 65-42, 48 KO) vs Penelope Cruz (Mirage Boxing, 29-27, 19 KO)
Results: Lookout! / Story: Vassago
BEFORE: The proverbial writing's on the wall for Jaime Pressly, the former multiple divisional champion is stuck on a four fight losing streak and looked all out of sorts when Nicole Scherzinger stopped her back in Febraury, nonetherless she still wants to go out on her own terms and has signed to fight Penelope Cruz who's a long-time nemesis of Jaime's Empire stablemate Sienna Miller. If this connection - and all of Miller's tips she can provide Jaime with - won't be good enough to beat the Spanish actress then it's about time to call it a day for Pressly. That's what the Boxing World Online and Tractorpull Magazine pundits think and they've pretty much spot on with that judgement. After all, Jaime's last win was in June 2011 and that's as bad as it gets for the former bantamweight champion.
Meanwhile Penelope hasn't been active too much lately either but losing to Sarah Shahi is acceptable enough for most of the girls around and no reason to call for Cruz to hang up her gloves for good. In fact a win over Pressly can kick start her career again as she's good enough to sell PPV tickets without a shadow of a doubt and several upcoming flyweight starlets must be thinking about thumping Cruz to the orbit and gain as much exposure as Vanessa Hudgens enjoyed by sending Michelle Williams into retirement.
Jaime Pressly wears a golden bikini top, black knickers and red gloves. Wet blonde hair in loose curls. Penelope Cruz wears a red bikini top, black hip-huggers and silver gloves. Dark brown hair in loose curls, tied in a very loose sleek ponytail.
Round 1:
Both women start aggressively and send overhand punches to rock each other's heads early but Pene shows more agility on her feet and ducks away from most of the blonde's efforts down the stretch while keeping her own spot on target. Jaime eats one hook on the eye too many and has to yield real estate but is stalked down with more jabs and stumbles back to the ropes as Cruz rips into her breadbasket in a quick change and traps the blonde for remainder of the round scoring crisp shots on the midsection to leave Pressly scowling in anger but unable to break free anymore.
Round 2:
Jaime gives Pene a truly epic death stare before the second round and unloads more furious leather aimed at the head and now the Spanish actress for once gets her footing wrong and gets wrenched by a left handed cross on the brow ridge followed by a right hand on the nose. She wobbles back and sinks on her knees losing her whereabouts briefly which enables Pressly to square up to her and repeat the midriff punishment she soaked up herself before. Deja vu ending to this round follows but only this time it's Pene trapped butt-in-ropes and scowling mad whereas Jaime rips into her tummy and gets really vocal in her efforts trying to chop the older woman down.
Round 3:
That was almost as furious as it gets for two veterans pushing 40 but there's more from Pene early in the third; she ducks underneath a very predictable high jabbing efforts and crashes into Jaime's guts thereafter piercing the liver area with accurate leather. Blonde scowls in discomfort again as Pene lays into her in close range and finally finds that hook to the liver that bends Pressly down hugging her aching area. A right cross over the top smacks the blonde on the brow ridge moments later AND SENDS HER CRASHING DOWN ON HER SIDE... Cruz shouts something in Spanish over her fallen foe and Jaime looks everything but angry, she rolls onto her face and pushes herself off both hands but remains tweaked to the side still hugging the liver area and seems to be in a lot of pain already... the man in charge refuses to halt the bout in controversial circumstances just yet but that makes no difference to Cruz who rips into her aching foe after the command and pounds her back to the ropes where she tries to punish the liver area again only to fall short of the mark as Jaime clinches her in desperate fashion and refuses to let go despite a great effort from the ref to separate the two cougars. A hook just wide off the liver earns Pene a lecture and it's obvious she's really keen to send the blonde down in a heap again.
Round 4:
Pressly can't shrug the knockdown off yet and is hassled and eventually pummelled around the ring for most of the round; Cruz settles down and digs into her experience so she doesn't walk into a wicked counterpunch but as time goes by, Jaime moves even slower and gets trapped in the corner to trigger more brunette assault. Pene rips into the guts again but as the blonde is truly desperate to protect the aching liver she exposes herself up high and gets nailed by a series of uppercuts that send her head rocking back & forth in the closing stages as the Spanish actress turns on the heat and begins to run away with this fight to indicate how miserable Pressly's stakes are these days. One last uppercut bends the moaning blonde over the ropes and almost crashing over into the stands and there's truly nothing left of those multiple bantamweight titles she'd won in her career.
Round 5:
Jaime's stock folds quicker than Charlize Theron's these days according to most of the crowd but she still catches a lucky break early in the fifth when Cruz for once wobbles over the head after a change of targets and eats a jabbing combo on the mouth which spins her to the side.. Pressly jumps into a leather frenzy hoping for a haymaker miracle but Pene shuts her off in a clinch and allows the wrestling stalemate to continue while still looking a bit woozy after that combo. Jaime drags her across the ring and pins to the turnbuckle but actual boxing action is minimal with both women almost wrestling each other to the ground and it's only in the final minute when the blonde manages to pierce the brunette's ribcage and keep her trapped in the corner. However there's just not enough power to cause any harm to the Spanish woman who bumps into the American after the bell and indicates she's not done with her yet.
Round 6:
Pressly is set for another frantic start but misses the hooking approach and gets WHACKED on the chin by a heavy right uppercut that slumps her head between the shoulders and makes her gasp for air in no time... arms fold by the side too and allow Pene to cash-in with a hooking cross on the nose followed by another shot on the brow ridge... DOWN GOES PRESSLY AGAIN... chopped like a tree and crashing hard on her right side... more aching moans from the blonde as Cruz glares over her and shouts more Spanish words... another lenghty effort to beat the count since Jaime does her best impression of Freddy Kruger and wants to return for one more flick... she's up at nine but looking dismal at best, still the ref must be a Cruz fan as he allows the fight to continue only for Jaime never to raise her arms again and have Pene MAUL her back to the ropes with head ripping punches that sends the loos blonde curls all over the place... Pressly's out on her feet ten seconds later with the brunette literally rearranging her face on live national TV and even the crowd is shocked by this brutal hammering... AND THE REF FINALLY REGAINS HIS SENSES... he hauls the Spanish actress off her prey just in time to catch a completely battered American into his embrace as Jaime was going to exit the arena dead meat style fractions later... Gruesome TKO6 Penelope Cruz!!!
AFTER: Few people expected such a vicious end to this fight as both women were nowhere to been seen on the front pages lately and in fact their ability to deliver a proper beating was questioned not without any substancial evidence. However Penelope Cruz silenced the critics in extremely confident fashion tonight and postponed all the retirement talk while dragging her battered opponent into the point of no return instead.
One has to ask whether this was indeed Jaime Pressly's last stand or not? Not even Sienna Miller's advice could prevent one of the biggest beatdowns of the calendar year thus far and one can almost guess what will the BWO and Tractorpull Magazine have to say about this fight. Even if Jaime would like to go out on her own terms there's just a very little chance she can actually beat anyone anymore these days. How the mighty have fallen... And nobody - even the recently much maligned Golden Goddess - seems to have fallen into a deeper hole than Jaime right now. By all means she's NOT getting out of there!
Final result: Penelope Cruz def. Jaime Pressly TKO6.
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