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31 May 2015 Intro Mayday and Mayhem Asylum PPV

Page history last edited by Vassago 8 years, 9 months ago

 

Posted by The Grand Wizard on May 31, 2015, 8:12 pm

 

O'Dell: "You are looking LIVE at the sold out Asylum Arena in Philadelphia! I'm Jennifer O'Dell, and I'm here along with Tess Valmore, The Bad Girl Of Bazz, Cassie Scerbo, and The Loose Cannon Of The FCBA, The Straw That Stirs The Drink, Jenny 'Mac The Knife' McCarthy, and tonight, we'll be visiting all four weight classes with a six-fight card that has plenty of storylines..."

Cassie: "And, one of those is at flyweight, where Dove Cameron will continue her campaign to get some traction in the FCBA against 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart..."

Tess: "And, up at welterweight, we'll see Front Street's last girl standing, 'The Polish Princess', Leelee Sobieski, against the long, lithe Joss Stone..."

McCarthy: "And, that's about the only fight worth watching on this card, considering the action at lightweight features two of the biggest phonies in the FCBA, the overrated, laughably named 'Hottest Player In The Game', Serinda Swan against win-starved Padma Lakshmi and the insufferable so-called '21st Century Goddess', Brooklyn Decker against Maggie 'No Wins' Grace..."

Cassie: "Let's not forget our OTHER lightweight bout, which features the Bazz Fight Club's gorgeous Alana de la Garza against 'Six Feet Of Sexy', Kesha!"

Tess: "NOR should we forget the lady who graciously stepped aside to allow Olivia Munn to get the first title shot against Anna Silk..."

McCarthy: "Gracious my EYE! She just knows she can't BEAT Silk, and she's running scared like the phony she is..."

Tess: "The woman who would have been in line for the NEXT shot had Munn won, a guarantee made by Sceej HIMSELF..."

McCarthy: "OVER MY DEAD BODY WILL THAT GIMMICK-AND-SONG-STEALING LOW DOWN SNAKE IN THE GRASS GET A TITLE SHOT AGAINST MUNN! NO WAY! NOT HAPPENING! CALL ME THE BELT NAZI, MACK, YOU PHONY, BECAUSE THERE'S NO TITLE SHOT FOR YOU!"

Tess: "Um...Munn lost. Silk is champ. SHE decides who gets the next title shot..."

McCarthy: "AND IT WILL NOT BE 'MACK THE FRAUD'! I WILL NOT ALLOW IT! IT WILL NOT HAPPEN! MARK MY WORDS! IT WILL NOT HAPPEN!"

O'Dell(sighing): "Of course, the subject of all this LUNACY is Allison 'Mack The Knife' Mack, who'll be facing lovely Ellie Goulding..."

McCarthy: "And Goulding will BEAT that thieving, yellow-bellied FRAUD and knock her right out of the title picture...or I'LL HANDLE IT MYSELF!"

O'Dell: "As you can see, things are ALREADY heating up, so get your shot glasses and bingo cards ready, sit back, relax, and join us for 'Mayday and Mayhem At The Asylum!" 

 

 

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