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31 May 2015 Alana de la Garza vs Kesha

Page history last edited by Vassago 8 years, 10 months ago

MAYDAY & MAYHEM AT THE ASYLUM

Posted by The Grand Wizard on May 31, 2015, 8:24 pm

BEFORE:

"It's good to be back in the ring," says Alana with a devastating smile. "I can still DO this. I just need to get regular work. If that happens, watch and see how quickly I go up the rankings."

"She's good, no question about that," says Kesha with a nod. "She's a good boxer. Probably better than me. She's slick. She's smart. Definitely smarter than me. But. I'm not exactly an unarmed opponent. Because, I DO have a weapon. Have Hammer. Will travel."

ROUND ONE:

O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and you are hearing 'The Hebrides Overture' by Mendelssohn and that's the theme music of the lovely lady making her way to the ring..."

Cassie(chanting): "Alana D! Alana D! Alana D!"

O'Dell: "Columbus, Ohio's own Alana de la Garza, who, of course, represents the Bazz Fight Club..."

McCarthy: "And the only redeeming value of THAT stable is that it DOES beat up on Weirdo and his Dancing Hookers..."

Cassie: "Choose your next words carefully, Mac...because, keep in mind, I have full access to this arena AT ALL TIMES..."

Tess: "And a new partner in...well...shenanigans in the form of one Brenda Song..."

Cassie: "Who could be JUST about ANYwhere in this arena right now..."

McCarthy: "Are you THREATENING me, you little..."

Cassie: "I'm just giving you some INFORMATION you might find USEFUL..."

O'Dell(sighing): "Alana into the ring and helped off with the robe by the Bazz corner to reveal that orange bikini that never fails to get QUITE the reaction. And, that's 'Tik-Tok' you hear blasting over the speakers, and here comes 'Six Feet Of Sexy', Kesha!"

McCarthy: "Who, I needn't point out, is neither six feet tall NOR sexy..."

Tess: "But, you will anyway..."

McCarthy: "SHUT UP, WALMART!"

O'Dell: "What they hey, one more shot, boys. And there's a shot of Kesha climbing into the ring and being helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that navy blue two-piece she favors and the crowd clearly likes it..."

McCarthy: "It's Philly. Low standards are no surprise..."

O'Dell: "We're about ready to go. Let's get some picks. Tess favors Kesha. Mac?"

McCarthy: "Another demoted Dancing Hooker. Alana's not an elite fighter, but she can handle THIS wannabe!"

O'Dell: "Cassie?"

Cassie: "I DON'T agree with Mac. Alana IS an elite fighter. But. I do agree that she's going to win tonight."

O'Dell: "Split panel. Let's see who's right. Both ladies quickly to the jab. Both want space, want to be able to extend on their punches, no surprise with two girls this long..."

Cassie: "Good point, Jenny. We've seen a lot of style conflict and adjustments tonight, but I suspect we won't see much of that in this one. Both of these girls like ranged warfare."

O'Dell: "And both using the distance very well. Kesha popping out that heavy Front Street jab with the right hand...the big blonde is a lefty, of course, and she fights southpaw. Alana turning with, getting her long left on target. Lots of action here in the first..."

McCarthy: "Both girls establishing their jabs early and both getting them home. Starting to set up combinations."

O'Dell: "Kesha landing a solid left hand there off a right. Alana firing back and we're getting some heavy exchanges going on. Blonde getting the better of these, as, I suspect, de la Garza taking time to get used to that southpaw style. Final seconds of the first. GOOD left by Kesha backed Alana up a step and there's the bell. Good round. Kesha's."

ROUND TWO:

O'Dell: "Back to work in the second and right back to ranged boxing. Kesha with that heavy piston right hand. Getting very long with it. Extending on it. Alana has her own long left established, and she's looking like getting more comfortable working against a southpaw opponent..."

Cassie: "You can train all you want against a girl who fights lefty, and Alana did all her sparring leading up to this fight with southpaws, but it's still a little awkward at first..."

O'Dell: "But, the veteran de la Garza getting into rhythm now. She's had the jab working and she's now getting flurries on target. Kesha firing heavy salvos back and we're getting some nice, crowd-pleasing exchanges right now. Blonde backs the brunette up with a solid left, but Alana responds with a nice right hand..."

Tess: "Pre-fight, Kesha said Alana was the better boxer. We haven't seen a major difference yet, but de la Garza has been chaining punches better..."

O'Dell: "And, she's doing more of it in this round, as she seems to have the angles solved and is able to get into the right spots. Kesha still scoring well, mind, but Alana now having the better of things down the stretch. Neither woman hurting the other, but both landing solid stuff, some of it pretty clean. Five seconds left. There's the bell. It's de la Garza's round."

McCarthy: "And we're even at 19 after two."

ROUND THREE:

O'Dell: "Third underway and the pattern set. Both fighters want to work at distance, both want to work off the jab, and both having success doing it. Fighters turning ever so slowly mid-ring, both getting hands out and back, both moving the heads well..."

Tess: "SOLID left from Kesha right there..."

O'Dell: "Followed in rapid succession by another. Backed de la Garza up. Alana stabilizes the front quickly, though, and gets back to work. Competitive exchanges the rule in this one..."

McCarthy: "And quite a few of them. We're seeing high work rates for a lightweight bout."

O'Dell: "We are at that, Mac. Both fighters solid. Nothing sloppy. No mistakes. Another clean left by Kesha now. Alana takes a step back, but the blonde not trying to grab canvas. Has the distance she wants and not giving it up. Final seconds ticking away here in the third. GOOD trade of punches at the bell. Kesha's round."

Cassie: "And that puts her up 29-28, but there's a long way to go."

ROUND FOUR:

O'Dell: "Fourth begins with Kesha working that heavy right. Alana using a little peek-a-boo guard now, keeping the gloves high, picking off the jabs and looking to counter..."

McCarthy: "Looking to disrupt Kesha after the blonde got some big stuff on target last round..."

O'Dell: "Not just looking to do it, but doing it. Kesha not getting the jab home, so she's not able to set up the right. Instead, Alana using the counter to score, keyholing punches with both hands..."

Cassie: "This is that boxing skill we talked about. Alana D very accurate and very slick. She CAN out box Kesha. And, that's exactly what she's doing..."

O'Dell: "No question de la Garza's having the better of things right now. Kesha landing only in spots, she's either missing or getting picked off most of the time, and all of those misses create opportunities for Alana to land scoring counters. Final seconds of the fourth slip into history and there's the bell. No question de la Garza."

Tess: "And we're even again at 38."

ROUND FIVE:

O'Dell: "Fifth round and more defensive slickness from de la Garza. Alana moving the head and the feet well, but it's the hands that are the key, the high, peek-a-boo guard, picking off and slipping Kesha's right and opening her up for solid counters..."

McCarthy: "Right now, de la Garza is taking control of the fight on defense, and that's not easy to do..."

O'Dell: "It is not, but the fans are seeing a pretty good demonstration of how to do it. It's all about timing and geometry, and Alana has both down, while Kesha's struggling on those counts right now. The blonde still scoring some, but, again, missing more than she's landing and opening herself up to counters with those misses..."

Cassie: "And, you'll note, Kesha not able to set up those power shots, either."

O'Dell: "She is not. We're heading for the half way point of this fight, and de la Garza has things going at her pace and on her terms. Brunette out-scoring the blonde, keeping her off balance, and, as Mac said, slowly taking control of the fight. Good counter by Alana at the bell and the fifth is in the books..."

Tess: "And de la Garza leads now, 48-47."

ROUND SIX:

O'Dell: "Sixth underway and de la Garza back to work with that slick defense and those solid counters. Kesha working hard to stay patient, spending a lot of time feinting and bobbing, trying to open Alana up, but de la Garza playing perfect defense..."

Cassie: "Kesha's trying not to open herself up for Alana, but the result is, she's not getting off..."

O'Dell: "Alana not baiting traps, just keeping that good movement and the peek-a-boo guard in place. Waiting on Kesha. Waiting for a chance to counter. Kesha pops a couple of jabs, picked off. And a good counter by de la Garza and a STRAIGHT LEFT BY KESHA HURT ALANA!"

Tess: "A counter by Kesha over de la Garza's right and Alana's in trouble!"

O'Dell: "Kesha making with the right hand now, backing de la Garza up with that heavy jab, walking her down, trapping her in the ropes, looking for the 'off' switch. Alana with the guard high, showing the good head and shoulder movement, jabbing back in spots, running clock. Kesha CRASHING left hands off the guard, but Alana able to hang on as we head for the bell. Five seconds left. And de la Garza survives the sixth."

McCarthy: "Kesha evens it at 57, but that was a big opportunity she didn't take advantage of."

ROUND SEVEN:

O'Dell: "All even into the seventh and Kesha looking to push pace now. Alana right back to the defense and counter, making Kesha miss or picking her off, then landing solid counters. Seems like de la Garza has shaken off that big left from the last round..."

Cassie: "And that left hand would have put a lot of lights down and out, but Alana D plenty sturdy..."

O'Dell: "Kesha upping the work rate, trying to create something here, but de la Garza handling the increased shell and responding with solid right hands...backed Kesha up with that one and DOWN GOES DE LA GARZA!"

Cassie: "FUDGE!"

Tess: "Caught her with the overhand left..."

O'Dell: "Alana face down. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. And de la Garza rolls to her back. Seven. Eight. Sitting up now. Nine. TEN! It's over! Alana still sitting as the count passes her by..."

McCarthy: "Check the replay here and you'll see what happened. Alana backs Kesha up with that right and takes a step forward right into the path of the overhand left that's already on its way. Didn't land it clean...but it was clean enough."

O'Dell: "Clean enough to make your winner by KO7, 'Six Feet Of Sexy', Kesha!"

AFTER:

O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"

Tess: "I have our winner, Kesha, and, Big K, she was tough to solve..."

Kesha(shaking her head): "I haven't solved her yet. Like I said, she's a super boxer, very smart and very slick. Hard to find. Hard to touch. Fortunately, I only need to touch you ONCE..."

Tess: "That looked like WELTER power right there..."

Kesha: "Nice try, Tess. No comment. No comment."