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8 June 2015 Robyn Lawley vs Aisha Tyler

Page history last edited by Vassago 8 years, 10 months ago

CELEBRITY BOXING AFTER DARK

Posted by Anon on June 8, 2015, 9:29 pm

"I had the idea a while ago when I saw the video of my fight against Jessie. Management keeps those things around for strategy reasons, but I pulled some strings because I thought a few of my friends could use a good laugh." In a rare sit down interview, Robyn Lawley seemed happy to operate outside the usual sound byte driven constraints that often restricted her. "And wow. I didn't realize how tiny she was until I saw myself kicking her ass all over the place. From the outside of the ring, I mean. I looked like a monster!" The model laughed. "So I decided to be sure to fight a bigger, sturdier b###h this time. I just went through the candidates, picked my favorite, leaned on management, and here I am -- ready to make Aisha Tyler kiss my fists!"

Tyler, separate and unaware of the specifics of her opponent's statement, was nevertheless familiar with the model's typical antics in and out of the ring. "I'm sure she has very public plans to drink my blood from Charlize Theron's skull, but height and hyperbole stop getting you anywhere once you're out of the rookie pit," commented the actress briefly.

The period before the fight saw Lawley, in white trunks and bra, posing for the cameras with her biceps flexed. Tyler, seemingly exasperated with the model, looked serious as she stretched and warmed up in her blue athletic gear.

Round 1:
In the opening seconds, Lawley did her best to put Tyler on the canvas. To her credit, Tyler stood up to the taller woman, striking back at her during the occasional brief opening. While the blonde model only seemed irritated at the punches Tyler managed to sneak through her defenses, they were definitely enough to give Tyler the round. In the break, Lawley could only glare angrily across the ring at the smug Tyler before waiting her turn for a second try.

Round 2:
The second round saw a more careful Lawley enter the action trying to beat Tyler at her own game. With both women shooting for a slow, steady advantage, it was difficult to decide who was in control as both managed to beat the other back on several occasions. However, as the round progressed, Lawley's reach advantage made itself known, and Tyler began to waver under the blonde's punching power.

Round 3:
Both fighters continued to take a steady pace in the third, poking at each other from a distance and trying to wear the other down. This time, Tyler seemed better practiced at dealing with her opponent's obvious strengths. Lawley was less able to keep Tyler at the range she liked, suffering the consequences as Tyler gained the ability to trade punches evenly. Tyler slowly pulled ahead, causing plenty of ineffective frustration on her taller opponent's end.

Round 4:
After a few fairly even exchanges in the opening of the fourth round, disaster struck for Tyler. On the losing end of a confrontation in the center of the ring, the actress wisely cut her losses -- or at least tried to, before Lawley interrupted her with a left hook that caught not only Tyler but the entire audience by surprise. The sight of a stunned, vulnerable Tyler immediately brought the aggressive Lawley the crowd had seen in the first round back into the fight. The new Lawley pummeled the retreating Tyler without mercy -- multiple straight shots to the face left blood trickling from the actress' nose by the halfway point of the round, leaving her quite the mess by the end. Showing off resilience but not much else, Tyler made it to the bell, forced to endure the sight of a smirking Lawley with gloves raised as if the match had already been decided.

Round 5:
The fifth round was nothing but a formality; a weakened, woozy Tyler left her corner with no choice but to be used as Lawley's punching bag. Lawley, perhaps showing a small amount of mercy, or possibly merely prioritizing always hitting as hard as possible, put an end to things quickly. A short combination concluding with a hook to the temple knocked Tyler's head about, leaving her staring blankly at nothing for a moment before collapsing face down. The actress lay motionless, arms at her sides. Lawley, rather than celebrating, seemed disappointed that her punching bag had stopped doing its job. However, once Tyler was hauled out she happily completed a victory lap, showing off her practiced runway strut as she enjoyed the spotlight. The official announcement -- KO5 Lawley -- was a bit of an anticlimax.

"Yeah! Isn't that what everybody wants to see?" asked a happy but battle damaged Lawley in her statement after the fight. "Really my one regret is that I was born too late to be a middleweight, but I'll console myself somehow."

Tyler did not return calls from the press in the period immediately following the fight, though she did refrain from posting to instagram for a few days, presumably the length of time required to render the bruises invisible. The quiet admission of defeat certainly called attention to her self proclaimed "lady fight club world champ" status on the site she had temporarily abandoned.