Stephanie McMahon versus Nicola McLean

(Sparkle Express vs PageThrees)

(Words: Sparkle / Results: Lookout!)

Before: Stephanie: “Ugh, really? Another big titted bimbo? I thought I had enough with that Christina girl...who barely beat me in the first place...but now a model? Whatever. I’ll get back on the road with a win!”

Nicola: “This is who the commission had to send me? Pathetic. She doesn’t even know the concept of a punch, let alone a win! I’ll KO her, easy as pie.”

R1: The two beauties circle around each other to start with, not wanting to endanger their own chances of winning and to scope out the opponent. Both fighters are unfamiliar to each other and may want to shake out some ring rust as well: both of their last fights were in the fall of 2014, and both losses. Nicola, however, emerges first from the fray and punishes Stephanie for taking too long to strike with a painful uppercut to the gullet, which has Steph winded for a few moments. Another left uppercut by the British model to Stephanie’s left hip lands with force, but is responded with by a silencing jab to Nicola’s torso. Right before the bell rings, Nicola sneaks in a jab to Stephanie’s shoulder, ending the round with all the momentum to her.

R2: The second round starts very much like the first, with both women circling each other with intensity, but in a reversal of the first the millionaire strikes first, unloading on Nicola with a flurry of jabs to the stomach that sends her having to bounce around, trying to avoid at least a few. Somehow, her strategy pays off and Nicola lands yet another uppercut to Stephanie’s navel! Stephanie counters after a breath of air with a left hook to Nicola’s jaw and then another right jab to Nicola’s belly. Again, Nicola swings - and lands! - a jab to Stephanie’s upper body as the bell rings, but she just rides it out and wins the round.

R3: Like before, Stephanie starts off this round, guns ablazing as she goes for another torrent of jabs - only to be met by a desperation sock to the nose by Nicola, slowly halting her assault as Nicola strikes with alternating crosses - not uppercuts - to the stomach. The result is that both fighters have to step away, sucking in air for a moment. Nicola returns first, in moving forward only to be met with a jab to the side of the face and a revenge uppercut to the navel! For the 3rd time in a row, the cheating Ms. McLean throws a punch to Steph’s body - this time to her bruised belly, which she holds all the way to her corner. Despite that, Mrs. McMahon still wins the round by a hair.

R4: Nicola rushes Mrs. McMahon right after the bell rings, preying on her stomach with jabs and hooks - even a sneaky elbow here and there! - leaving Stephanie moaning with every punch by the end. Thankfully for the wrestling community, the ref steps in and asks Stephanie if she wants to give up. “No!” She emphatically said, unfortunately walking into another cross to the ribs. As Nicola prepares a KO punch, Steph ducks underneath and hits a devastating uppercut to the ribs that lifts Nicola up in the air! Unfortunately, the rest of the round is uneventful, both fighters guarding and waiting the round out. Nicola evens the score up with a good win in this round.

R5: Stephanie seems a little gingerly coming out of her corner, baring some hard shots from the past few rounds to her already aged body while Nicola comes out with only a few scratches. With that in mind, Nicola dominates the round, almost toying around with her with long-range shots to the belly, not letting Stephanie getting good punches in. However, it’s not the belly shots that do the most damage; instead the breast shots do the job. While she attempts to guard the painful but easy shots to her most famous assets, not all of them get blocked to Stephanie’s chagrin. Attempting to heal up her boobs, Stephanie bends all the way over, body at a 90 degree angle and gloves firmly keeping her treasures in place as Nicola swings...and swings...looking for the perfect KO...and shoots! But at the last second, Mrs. McMahon throws her head up and the blow whiffs her chest, but lands squarely in the crux of her left hip. As a result, she spins around like a light windmill, catching the ropes right as the bell rings. Very dominant round for Nicola McLean.

R6: As the round starts, Stephanie again has trouble even stepping to the center of the ring as Nicola has no problems plaguing her in the slightest. But the beginning of this round plays like a repeat of last round: Nicola playing keep-away as Stephanie takes more and more punishment. However, when Stephanie is nearly knocked down and out and Nicole bounces around, looking for the perfect blow again, Steph interrupts her with a killer jab to her ribs, knocking all the wind out of the model and turning the tide! BAM! goes a left cross to the Brit’s cheek. BAM! goes an alternating cross to the other side! Now it’s the millionaire's time to dominate, and dominate she does, with massive clubbing blows that rock Nicola’s face. Finally, a straight to the nose is the final shot that finishes the fight; or, it would if the bell didn’t ring right as Nicola caught herself in the ropes. Great round for McMahon.

R7: Both combatants look absolutely weathered coming to the ring, with Nicola in far worse shape considering. Within the first minute, all McMahon has to do is throw a high uppercut, and down Nicola went, unable to answer any count. Stephanie wins with KO7!

After: After the bout, the winner, Stephanie McMahon saunters over to the referee and asks for a mic, which is hurriedly given to the "princess". Taking her time to survey the shocked crowd, she then speaks clearly to the crowd and viewing audience with a decade+ of live speaking..

"There. After a long awaited return, I came in and DEMOLISHED that snotty Brit, Nicola. Look at her, unable to truly give me a good fight once I got my rust off. And she's still down; just a reminder for any woman watching who wants to challenge the unbeaten millionaire! And no, Chrissy, a biased judge's decision does not mean that you won a match against me!!!"

"...ahem. Got a little carried away there. Giggles Anyways, the gates are always open for a shot at me. Provided that I like you, and my sponsor sees money in you. Ugly...women need not apply! And if you don't like that, there's only five words that I need to say; that I KNOW all men would love to do..."

"Kiss my. Billion. Dollar. Booty."