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25 June 2015 Jenny McCarthy vs Jennifer Lawrence

Page history last edited by Vassago 7 years, 6 months ago




Posted by Lookout! Boxing on June 25, 2015, 10:51 am



Jenny McCarthy (42 y/o, 5'7”)  vs Jennifer Lawrence (25 y/o, 5'7”)

Fight result: Lookout; Story by simgrrl (w/Sceej)


Scene: A TV reporter holding a microphone; standing on a sidewalk in front of a building; a neon sign in the background is too high to see anything but the last word, “Club.” She's speaking: “...report compiled from police reports, court filings and my own interviews with several of the eye witnesses to the fight....” As tape rolls, she tells this story...
* * * *
Earlier this evening, Jennifer Lawrence, her trainer Janet Jones, and the Academy's “Nurse”, Sunny McKay, were inside this club tossing back a few cold ones after a hard workout. Since Lawrence wasn't on the June fight card, she and Janet were taking time to get away from Ginny's Academy to relax and discuss Janet's plans for Jen's next few fights. Sunny was along as...well, nobody knows why. (Probably just chum... you know, something to toss in the water to attract sharks!) As they were finishing their second drink and about to pay the check, the TV above the bar was showing the EPSN (Eastern & Pacific Sport Network) program “Coloring Outside The Lines.”

Just as Janet turned to signal their waitress for the check, the show's host opened a discussion about Celebrity Boxing with a clip of Jenny McCarthy yammering on and on about how “Theron's a coward” and “Gena could kick her ass every month on the PPV.” Then she said, “Theron's been running for years. If she's that afraid of Gena Lee Nolin, where will she get the courage to face 'Mack The Knife'?”

“HEY!” Lawrence yelled to the bartender, “Turn that off! Isn't there a premiere league match, or a Legends Football League game on? At least those lingerie gals are real athletes, not all silicone and a big mouth!”

Several of J-Law's fans in the bar laughed and applauded, but two women sitting in the back heard her comment and took offense. Carrie Prejean and Jenny McCarthy weren't there to drink. McCarthy had been looking for Lawrence for two weeks since their spat in the wake of Nolin-Theron and she'd found her! Jenny looked at Carrie and asked, “You OK with the tall blond, Janet Jones? She was a terror ten or fifteen years ago.”

“THAT's Janet Jones? Paulina's mom?” Prejean gasped, impressed. McCarthy nodded. Carrie laughed, “She's so old even I could beat her. What is she, 45? 50?” When McCarthy told her Jones was actually 54, Prejean did a double take. “Really? That old? She must work out.” (Janet worked out daily with Theron, Bell, Ryan and Lawrence in the Academy gym. Plus, celebrity boxing came along after her prime years which limited the damage to her face and figure to a few fights.) “Well, I got your back anyway, Mac!” Carrie said. “If Jones sticks her nose in our business, I'll break it for her. Who's the other sank at the table with Jones? She a problem?”

Jenny chuckled. “You mean you don't recognize the 'world famous porn star' Sunny McKay? Theron and the Academy keep her around for giggles. I doubt she'll even get up from the table, but if she does, you won't have a problem dealing with both her AND Jones.”

JennyMac stood up, tugged up the waist of her short skirt, smoothed the white cotton blouse over her magnificent mammaries, then sauntered to the bar where Lawrence was sitting at a corner table with Jones and McKay, her back to the room. J-Law and Jones were leaning forward, their heads together, in conversation. Sunny was slumped in her chair, a half empty pint of Foster's draft in her hand. She was gazing blankly at the TV in the corner where Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin were discussing the US international balance of trade deficit.

Jenny walked up behind Lawrence's chair and deliberately bumped it with her hip...hard! She bumped her so hard, that it also rocked the table, spilling Jones' glass of beer in her lap. As Janet leapt up, her hands fluttering at the beer running down the front of her dress, McCarthy was pouring her glass of ice cold beer slowly all over and around J-Law's head and shoulders!

J-Law sprang out of her seat and whirled around, “WHAT THE HEL....” Her face went pale when she recognized McCarthy. “YOU!” she gasped, looking around the bar quickly.

Jenny grinned at seeing the front of Lawrence's blouse was stuck to her bosom by the beer she'd dumped on her. “Pretty shameless, 'Law',” JennyMac purred, pointing at Jennifer's erect nipples tenting the sheer, soaked, cloth. “Don't you bimbos at the Academy ever wear bras?”

“You....you....you did that on purpose,” Lawrence sputtered, her mind double-clutching, a beat or two slow getting into gear after shifting from 'park' into 'drive'.

“Well, duh!” JennyMac laughed. “I'm really not that clumsy; of course, I did it on purpose. Seemed like a good way to ask you to dance.”

“Dance?” Jen repeated, her brow furrowing. She turned and looked around at the crowd, most of them male, all of them staring at the two blondes facing off. “This doesn't look like the kind of club where one woman asks another to dance. You sure you got the right place? Maybe you made a wrong turn if you're looking for that 'other' club...the one downtown with the brass pole where the girls hang out.”

“Oh, no...I've got the right place. And you're the right dance partner. And, please, tell me you are NOT so dumb that you don't know what it means when someone asks you to 'dance' because if you are....” WHAP! JennyMac slapped Lawrence so hard that Jen sat back down on her chair, her breasts bouncing in the wet blouse as her butt hit the wooden seat hard!

Atta girl, J-Mac!” Carrie chirped. “You go girl!

JennyMac grabbed the front of Lawrence's blouse and yanked her up out of her chair, then wound up and WHAP slapped her again, sending Jen reeling backward onto the table. JennyMac had kept her fistful of Jen's blouse when she slapped her and buttons went flying in all directions; her big, soft, wet, breasts bouncing wildly through the open front. As Jen hit the table, it tipped over and beer glasses went in all directions. The table teetered and tottered momentarily, then went the rest of the way over and hit the floor with a loud CRASH!.

Jones jumped back just in time avoid being splashed. Sunny McKay pushed her chair back as the table went over, just missing her toes. (Witnesses said Mckay - a veteran of strip club and bar catfights - hadn't even spilled one drop of her drink.) Jones grabbed Lawrence as she slid down the overturned table and helped get her on her feet. Jen stood rubbing her cheek, already a red where JennyMac's open hand had caressed it twice.

“So, you want a fight?” Lawrence asked, pulling her soaked blouse together and tying it under her breasts, letting it hang outside her skirt in the back.

“Boy, they were right about you,” JennyMac chuckled. “You are really quick on the up-take. Tell me, what gave it away? When I slapped you the first time, or the second?” Mac snickered.

J-Law, rather than debate with JennyMac, instead hauled off and slugged the former Playmate in the mouth....or would have if she hadn't telegraphed the punch! Her fist missed McCarthy's nose by an inch as she leaned away – McCarthy knew a miss was as good as a mile! She grabbed Lawrence's right wrist in her right hand, pulled the blond Oscar-winner off balance, then drove a knee into Lawrence's belly.

WOOO......uuunnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhh,” Jen grunted as she doubled over and went to her knees in a puddle of beer right in front of McKay.

Sunny muttered, “Oops, 'scuse me. Looks like I'm in the way.” as she edged along the wall behind McCarthy to slither over to a good looking young attorney at the end of the bar. She offered her hand and said perkily, “Hi. I'm Sunny, what's your name handsome?”

He looked her over briefly, handed her a business card, and pushed her aside, saying, “Not now hon, I'm watching the fight. Call my office and make an appointment.”

OK McCarthy, that's enough,” Janet Jones said, rushing to Lawrence's aide. “You better get out of here before the cops arrive.

Carrie!” JennyMac yelled. “What're you waitin' for, Christmas?

Huh? Wha...?” Prejean asked, her attention on Lawrence who was on hands and knees trying to catch her breath.

My back, remember?” JennyMac said with exasperation. “You said you have it? Well, get busy having it, you ninny!

“Oh, sorry, Mack,” Carrie said. She rushed to Janet Jones, tapped her on the shoulder and said meekly, “Err, 'xcuse me, Miss Jones?” As soon as Janet turned around, Carrie grabbed her hair and dragged the trainer away kicking and screaming. Carrie swung Janet around (twice) and let go... sending the 54 year old blond headlong into the crowd. Janet slammed into a yuppie couple and all three of them went tumbling in a heap to the floor.

“Now keep her outta my way!” JMac yelled at Carrie as she turned back to Lawrence and helped herself to a handful of Lawrence's shiny, honey-blond, hair. “Upsy-daisy sweetie,” she said, pulling Jen to her feet. “Can you do the...unnnnnhhhhh!

The crowd would never find out what dance JennyMac had in mind, because as she pulled Lawrence up off the floor, J-Law drove her right fist into JennyMac's belly, pounding her midway between her hoo-ha and her belly button! McCarthy's eyes were wide and her mouth gaping as she desperately tried to replace the oxygen loss caused by the punch. Jen slapped JennyMac's hand from her hair and reared back to punch McCarthy in the face. Only a last second turn of the head saved 'Mack the Knife' from a busted beak! As it was, Lawrence hit JennyMac on the left eye and knocked her back against the wall.

“Gal's gonna have a doozey of a shiner in the mornin',” muttered a waitress who looked like she knew a thing or two about black eyes.

Jen went to McCarthy, grabbed her blouse and jacked her up on the wall, then she ripped three quick, hard, rights into JennyMac's belly. With each one, JennyMac grunted.

POW! (uh!) POW! (UGH!) POW! (Uhnnnnnn.....)

After the third punch, Jen let go and stepped back smirking, watching McCarthy slowly slide down the wall holding her belly with both hands, her short skirt riding up over her butt until her ass hit the floor with her legs stretched out in front of her.

Jen Lawrence turned to face the crowd grinning and asked, “That was fun. Now, who wants to buy me a drin...UHHH!”

McCarthy's double leg sweep pulled Lawrence's feet out from under her and she dropped straight to the floor, landing on her chest with an unladylike grunt. Her breasts only cushioning the impact slightly. Jen took a moment to collect herself, then pushed up with her hands. But before she could get to her knees, she was slammed flat when McCarthy landed – butt first - on Lawrence's back.

WHUUUMP! “Gotcha!” JennyMac gloated as she grabbed two fistfuls of honey-blond hair, hauled up, yanked Jen's head back, then quickly slammed it back down on the hardwood bar floor. THONK!!! Jen saw stars!

Sunny McKay, a few feet away beside the attorney, grimaced and looked away. Then she saw Carrie Prejean sitting astride Janet Jones' waist, a hand in Jones' hair, the other cocked to throw a punch. Since Janet's nose was bleeding, Sunny figured Prejean already landed one, maybe more, already. Sunny pushed past the yuppie couple - who were urging Carrie on (apparently blaming Jones for spilling their drinks when she knocked them down) and dove on Carrie, grabbed her around the shoulders and as Carrie fell to the side, Sunny went with her! When they hit the floor, Prejean rolled over them both over and came up on top. Prejean took one look at the lithe porn star, reared back and...SMACK! SMACK!... punched Sunny twice in the face!

(McKay later told police she “can't remember a thing” from there until the main event was over.)

As Prejean returned to dealing with Janet Jones, McCarthy and Lawrence were rolling on the wood floor, throwing fists at close quarters. Each with a hand pulling hair and punching with the other.
McCarthy's left eye was swollen and she'd lost several clumps of her once flawless hair; her blouse (and bra) were both still in place - though the blouse was missing most of its buttons. Her skirt had just been torn and pulled halfway down from her left hip when Jen grabbed and pulled as she was dragging JennyMac back down with her after McCarthy had managed to get to her feet long enough to kick Jen in the ribs!

Lawrence had lost her blouse and was topless. She was also favoring her left ribs which sported a large, red, welt from 'Mack The Knife's' boot! Both blondes were panting and breathing heavily after four or five minutes of serious grappling and body punching, yet neither looked like anywhere close to calling a halt to the mindless mayhem!

Jen Lawrence struggled to her feet and as she rose, her chest heaving, the crowd gave her bare bosom an “oooohhhhhh.....” of appreciation. McCarthy just growled, probably jealous at the attention the young actress was stealing from her. JennyMac charged and bowled Lawrence over, trampling her as she bull rushed across Lawrence's body and slammed into the wall. Turning, “Mack the Knife” grabbed two handfuls of Jen's hair, straightened her up and WHAM dropped the actress on her butt with a right cross!

Many of the men in the crowd (besmitten with Lawrence's firm young breasts, no doubt) booed McCarthy and one even tried to grab her to protect Jen Lawrence. But he was quickly pulled away by his girlfriend/wife who muttered, “Let 'er have her, who cares? If she can't keep her clothes on, she deserves whatever happens!”

McCarthy probably would have agreed - if she'd been paying attention; but she was busy flirting with the young attorney. This brief distraction gave Lawrence a few extra seconds to stumble to her feet and wander around in a daze, clearing her head. JennyMac casually sauntered over to Lawrence, grabbed her shoulder and spun her around as she wound up to punch her again. But Jen had just enough of her faculties to wrap JennyMac up in a bearhug and hang on for dear life!

The two blondes reeled around the bar area, bumping into the bar, knocking over tables and chairs until they finally tumbled to the floor. Again, McCarthy was on top! Lawrence grabbed two handfuls of hair and pulled JennyMac off to the side, rolling with her. Over and over and over they rolled, first one, then the other on top. As each rolled on top, she would pound one or two punches down into the other, then they'd roll again. Over and over and over, they rolled; neither able to gain a sustained advantage...

...until Lawrence slammed into the legs of several spectators who had been edging closer and closer for a better view of the action. Now that she was on top of McCarthy, Lawrence teed off, crashing her fists down onto JennyMac's belly, chest, cheeks and eyes. JennyMac, got her arms in front of her; forearms and elbows blocking many of Lawrence's blows...but others got thru!

Once, twice, three times, Lawrence rocked McCarthy's head with hard right hands to the head. When Mack The Knife's arms dropped, Jen raised her arms in the air and let out a triumphant scream of victory! “YEAAAAAH! I GOT YOU NOW, YOU CHEATIN' BE-ITCH!”

As Jen leaned over and prepared to apply her coup-de-grace to McCarthy, Carrie Prejean ran up behind her and CRAAASH....shattering a heavy glass beer pitcher on Lawrence's head! (fortunately, the pitcher was almost empty, or it may have done some serious damage!)

Lawrence's eyes rolled back in her head and she toppled forward on top of McCarthy; her bare bosom molding itself onto McCarthy's blank face. For a moment, the entire bar stood frozen...silent... then a groan was heard as Jen's body lifted up and rolled to the side.

Jenny McCarthy finished pushing Jen off of her and slowly sat up holding her head. As she looked around, she saw Carrie standing over her holding the handle of the broken beer pitcher. Carrie was smiling proudly.

“I got her, Mack, I got Jones! And I saved your azz from Lawrence, too!”

You didn't save me from anybody, you dolt!”
McCarthy yelled. “I had everything under control. Your interference almost cost me the fight. Now, get out of the way and let me show you how to deal with upstart young whipper-snappers like this...”

JennyMac rolled Lawrence over and unsnapped the front of her jean shorts, then unzipped the front. Grunting, she slowly worked the shorts down over Lawrence's thick thighs, past her knees and along her calves to her feet. She wrestled with them for a few seconds, then finally got them off over her feet.

Lawrence lay on her back, stripped down to just a pair of semi-transparent panties. The crowd ooh'ed and aah'ed...even the women...at the sight of the Oscar-winner's, lush, nubile, young body displayed so lewdly at their feet.

That's just the beginning, folks!” McCarthy said as she took Lawrence's wrist and dragged her limp body across the floor to a chair. JennyMac uprighted the chair, sat down and told Prejean, “Put her over my lap!

Carrie grunted as she collected Jen under the arms and heaved her upright, then flopped her limp body forward across McCarthy's thighs. Grinning, JennyMac raised her open hand, licked her lips, and...WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!.....SMAACK! SMAACK!

Mack The Knife spanked the bejeezus out of Jen Lawrence's barely covered derriere. Each impact of her calloused palm send ripples though the soft, pink, flawless, orbs! The spanking went on for over a minute before Lawrence slowly lifted her head and moaned, then began to squirm uncomfortably.

McCarthy grabbed a fistful of hair to hold her upper body in place, then gave Jennifer's backside another eight or ten wallops. By the time she finished, Jen's face was bright red and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

Just when JennyMac thought it was really getting to be fun, someone shouted, “OK, BREAK IT UP! You...blondie...in the chair....stop that and put your hands up!”

JennyMac looked up and saw two bouncers had arrived in response to a call for help from the bartender. “Get lost you useless bozo's,” JennyMac said. “Can't you see I'm putting on a show for the folks! They should be paying me for this kind of entertainment.”

Despite McCarthy's protests, the bouncers dragged Lawrence away from her, but it took both of them to keep McCarthy under control as they waited for the police to respond to their 'trouble' call. Janet Jones, looking decidedly worse for wear, sat on the floor holding a dazed and bloody Lawrence as she pressed a wash cloth filled with ice to the nasty gash on her head while McCarthy kept struggling and squirming, going so far as to threaten one bouncer with a lawsuit.

A few minutes later, the bouncers looked relieved when a couple of (real) cops showed up and took control of the situation – and Lawrence and McCarthy. JennyMac launched a final kick in J-Law's direction before the male cop wrapped his arms around her.

“Hey, leggo ah my boobs!” McCarthy screamed, taking everyone's attention away from Jennifer who lay sprawled on the floor, after having been stripped almost naked, her head in Jones' lap, blood running from a cut on her head from the broken beer pitcher.
The young attorney walked up to the female police officer, pointed to Lawrence and told the cop, “You don't talk to my client until I've had a chance to speak with her. Are we clear?”

Then to Jen, “Keep your mouth shut; don't answer any questions. I've been retained as your attorney, so until I tell you otherwise, you speak only to me. Got it?” Jen nodded numbly, then slumped back into Janet Jones' embrace.

EMT's had been called to treat the two women and they arrived as police were interviewing witnesses. After completing their paperwork, the police took both women into custody and transported them to separate hospitals. McCarthy was treated for scratches, cuts, bruises and two black eyes and a bloody lip, then she was taken to the station and spent the night in jail before being arraigned in the morning.

Lawrence was treated for the gash on her head, assorted scratches, cuts and bruises to much of her body, but she declined treatment for her red, bruised, butt cheeks. After her exam, doctors decided to keep Jennifer for “observation” for a “minor concussion.” After a night in the jail wing of the hospital, Jen was booked along with McCarthy.

Then the two of them appeared before a judge.

During the brief hearing, McCarthy's attorney argued, “Miss Lawrence attacked my client without any provocation, your honor. Just look.....” he produced McCarthy's mug shots, showing her two black eyes and a swollen lip. Lawrence stood silent before the judge with her young attorney; looking beatific. Aside from a few bruises and abrasions to her face, no injuries to her body were visible.

Unfortunately, the majority of the witnesses (aside from Jones and McKay who were present but not called to speak, the court instead relying on the police interviews) said they saw Lawrence throw the first punch and that sealed her fate in his opinion.

“If you have nothing to say, young lady,” the judge said to Jen. “I'll honor Ms. McCarthy's request for a temporary restraining order that will prohibit you from coming within a hundred yards of her. Do you have anything to say?”

Jennifer looked her attorney who shook his head, then at the judge, and finally at Jenny's attorney. Jen grinned and said, “If it please the court, I'd just as soon not be within a hundred yards of either her or her lawyer. Go right ahead, I don't mind at all.”

The club declined to press charges, saying the publicity was worth more than the damage. The judge fined both women and ordered them each to pay half of the cost of repairing the club. In addition, he gave McCarthy a “protection order” which forbid Lawrence from coming within a hundred yards of her. He also ordered Lawrence, who he decided had been the “aggressor” to be placed under house arrest with an ankle monitor for 30 days.

Jen's attorney protested the house arrest, citing her need to make a living which required her to leave the premises. He allowed her to go out, but only with a police escort to “protect her from McCarthy's crazed fans” (Jen's lawyer's words) and the media, but also to “protect the public from a young woman who is obviously intent on becoming the next Lohan” (McCarthy's lawyer's words). Part of Jen's sentence required her to pay the cost of her police escort whenever she left home which she said she would “gladly do.”

Lawrence left the courthouse by the back entrance, unaware of two events that would loom large in the following days. First, several brief cellphone videos of the fight were sent anonymously to TMZ (later to be traced to McCarthy's attorney who got them from JennyMac's fans who had shot the videos). Second, and more embarrassing, a minute long video of Jenny McCarthy spanking Lawrence's red butt as she held her over her knees. More than the fight videos, the spanking video (and the judges decision) convinced a gullible public that Jennifer had not only attacked JennyMac but had “gotten what she deserved.”

In the aftermath, there were increased calls to the FCBA (and other organizations) from the media demanding they hold a series of fights involving - not only Lawrence and McCarthy - but Charlize Theron, who wasn't even in the club that night to step up and fight not only Gena Lee Nolin but McCarthy, in a series of boxing, wrestling, MMA and apartment catfights just to prove she hadn't been “ducking” them as they both charged.

Neither Theron nor Lawrence expressed any interest in the proposal, but that hasn't stopped the hue and cry from the public and the media demanding... “Justice for Nolin! JUSTICE... FOR... NOLIN!”



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