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26 June 2015 Jeri Ryan vs Kelly Brook

Page history last edited by Archer844 7 years, 6 months ago

Jeri Ryan 11.jpgKelly Brook 09.jpg


Posted by Lookout! Boxing on June 26, 2015, 4:45 pm


Jeri Ryan (47 yo, 5'8”, 32D-26-36) vs Kelly Brook (35 yo, 5'6”, 34E-24-35)
by Lookout/simgrrl

“This Time It's War!”

Background:“Ryan's solely responsible for the destruction of the stable,” Brook sneers in one of her many prefight interviews, all of them devoted exclusively to throwing mud on Ryan's once clean reputation as a stable owner. Still, since the dissolution of “Jeri's Knockouts” one fighter after another came forward to cast blame on Ryan's “ism-management”, “self-centered promotion over those of her girls”, or “she mis-managed the budget from the start, lavished money on her own (skimpy) costumes while the rest of us made do with hand-me-downs or patched up bikini's shredded in previous fights.”

No one more vocal in their hatred for Ryan than the duo of Kelly Brook and Ali Landry, both of whom went on television the week leading up to the fight to cast stones at Ryan – who, after announcing her own stable was bankrupt, quickly turned around and signed a lucrative, mufti-year, contract with her arch rival, The Academy, home of Knockout rivals such as Charlize Theron and “Cat” Bell.

Ryan took her new protege, Blake Lively, with her to The Academy, leaving the rest unemployed. And while most (Johansson, Chabert, Hewitt, and Upton) eventually hooked on with another outfit, nobody has yet picked up either Brook or Landry, two women who caused Ryan the most heartburn in their days in her stable. So it's perhaps not unreasonable to feel they have a point when they make the (so far unsubstantiated) charge, “Ryan's blackballed us with the other stables.”

“I received several calls from other managers,” Brook told Sky News. “Saying they're interested, but they never call back. When I inquire, they hem and haw, then admit, 'We're going in a different direction.' The same thing's happened to Landry. I mean, seriously, if you want T&A, who's better? And what's a different direction from me? Stacy Keibler? Rebecca Romijn? Charlize 'Fookin' Theron? Get real, even Blake 'The Snake' Lively caught on with The Academy and everyone knows they already got all the titless, wonderbra wearing, blondes they need! It's a conspiracy I tell you!”

Landry makes similar claims, in language colorful enough for us to decline to broadcast it here. But she is equally adamant of being snubbed in interviews – and doesn't hold back in venting her (in her own words) “hatred...call it what it is...I H-A-T-E that blond be-itch and I'd do anything to bring her down!”

Before they were stablemates, Brook & Ryan fought four times; Ryan won three! Since then, their only fights have been verbal ones. But Kelly has never been as motivated as she is tonight. Of interest, Ali Landry, one of many ex-Ryan stable members with a grudge, is working Brook's corner tonight. If Kelly's fiery hatred for Jeri starts to burn out, trust Ali to fan it back to a white-hot blaze between rounds!
* * *

Jeri Ryan almost disappeared in the days ahead of the fight, almost like she was afraid to come up for air for fear someone may ask an embarrassing question about her finances, her wardrobe, or her “relationship” with Cat Bell and Charlize Theron - neither of whom have exactly leapt to her defense as charges were being leveled by Kelly and Ali (or 'The Boobsy Twins' as one Fleet Street tabloid referred to the peripatetic pair) almost daily.

“I just love to watch Jeri fight,” a reporter for an Internet site devoted to farm machinery, gushed. “She's always in motion; jiggling up, jiggling down, sloshing left, swaying right...and don't get me started about the way her butt looks when she gets that in gear. The woman's sheer poetry in motion.”
* * *
Brook in her favorite bright red bikini - with just enough cloth to get past the broadcast standards department - but there's still more than enough skin to guarantee all eyes will be glued to the screen hoping for a 'wardrobe malfunction'.
Ryan going for something more demure (not that it would be difficult given how little Brook is wearing) choosing a silver bikini that, surprisingly, looks verrrrrry much like one Cat Bell wore in a FHM magazine spread some years ago...and Jeri fills it out every bit as well as 'La Gata' did!
* * *
During R1: Landry's prefight pep talk has Kelly Brook wound tight as a drum as she sprints out of her corner into the fire, attacking Ryan before the blond is halfway across the ring! Kelly leans into a lead right hand to the jaw, stopping Jeri in her tracks! Ryan's knees buckle and she clinches to clear her head. Brook pounding Jeri's body, pummeling the flanks as Ryan hangs on grunting with each impact. Brook putting together slick combos: a double, then a triple jab to set up chopping right crosses, a hooks or uppercuts targeting Jeri's jutting jugs! Ryan covering up, can’t get off under the blizzard of leather. Midway through the round, Jeri bats Kelly’s face with a couple of left hooks, slowing her momentum briefly. Ryan getting into a rhythm, slipping the right hand, driving a hook to Brook’s ribs, slipping the left hand, digging the right hand into Kelly's ribs. Brook giving ground grudgingly, looking to counter; pulling back just far enough to jerk a short right uppercut to the belly, breasts or face, diving in with a clouting hook to the jaw! Down the stretch the brunette is the boss, fighting off Jeri’s chest, punishing her abs and jugs to the break. At the bell: Jeri disengages...AND GETS CAUGHT BY A CHEAP RIGHT TO THE JAW! Ryan shaken, staggers back, then quickly turns and stumbles to her corner as the ref jumps in to wrap up Brook. Ref declines to deduct points, claiming later he felt Brook's arm was already moving at the bell. Kelly making a hard calculation about the depths she'll sink to win this grudge fight.

R2: Jeri breaks out her jab. Harsh, zippy pokes snapping up from her waist, Ryan stepping smoothly to the left to keep Brook moving her feet, not letting her sit down on her punches, tap-tapping the brunette's upper chest and face. Kelly turning with, pawing the jab – seeking opening to get that big right hand in play. Girls take turns operating from the wrap - trapping the others right arm under her left, then hammer away, right to rack or belly; walking one another to the ropes and piling on. Breathy grunts; wet, spanking impacts; heads grinding ear-to-ear...both selling out to use the other up. Good regrouping round for Ryan as she settles Brook down, gets her accustomed to getting her face spanked. Much more calm, orderly, pace as they circle mid-ring with Jeri controlling most of the action to win the round.

R3: Jeri determined to roll Kelly up, walks her down behind the jab, but her expected assault goes awry. Midway through, Brook stops her retreat, driving in behind a right shovel punch to the breadbasket, then puts her body behind a short left hook that leaves Ryan gasping and in trouble. Kelly takes over, lifting lefts and rights up under Ryan's rib cage or rack sacking Ryan as she forces her back to the ropes. Then Ryan surges back! They trade body attacks back and forth across the ring from ropes to ropes, letting their hands go. Ryan's jab opening the distance, but on the inside, it’s all Brook this round. At close range, Kelly lays her heavyweight rack on Jeri's, making the blonde shudder under her superior weight. Kelly jerking little left-right uppies between their jostling bodies that keep Jeri's juggs a jumpin' or smack her head back - Ryan so smothered by Brook's inside game, her own long range artillery is made ineffective. Something for each woman in the round, but Brook's inside domination of Jeri's body convinces the judges to award her the points for this round.

R4: Girls wary, rotating clockwise; jabbing. Fans on the edge of their seats; the air crackling with electricity. Everyone's aware that at any second one or the other could land a single punch that puts her opponent in dire straits! Jugg aficionados biding their time, knowing it's just a matter of.....JERI'S RIGHT EXPLODES ON KELLY'S CHIN! A quick, short punch, traveling no more than a foot as Ryan turns her shoulder into it and BROOK GOES DOWN! Jeri walking hurriedly to a neutral corner – leaving Kelly writhing and twitching on her back, frantically trying to shake off the KO. Brunette up for a queasy 8, eyes moist as referee gives her a close look over. Then Brook digs in to accept Jeri's charge. Beat-down! Ryan palming up, going all big-girl, bracing Kelly, smacking her flanks, pounding short rights to the chin, tucking in tidy little left and right 'cuppercuts' (uppercuts to Kelly's cups!) Brook drooping as Ryan takes rack whenever she pleases, shrugging her shoulders and going 'up jug'. Kelly jugg shocked, blubbering as she bearhugs defensively; reaching around Jeri's back to smother her cruel attack. Bell to bell blonde - Jeri puts like, a thousand, miles on Kelly's legs as she breezes away with the points (wide).

R5: Kelly selling it like she's walking in, then stops, fades a half step back AND DRILLS JERI WITH A HESITATION RIGHT FLUSH ON HER CHIN! Blonde eating it, reeling sideways - obviously expecting more rack attack – then wobbling to all fours! Brook's big chin checker puts Ryan in a hole again! Ryan up unsteadily, takes the eight, then Kelly rushing in, reaching under Jeri's arms, bodying her roughly to the ropes where the brunette gets back to the business of mauling her; driving a shoulder into Jeri's mouth, standing the blonde upright, then helping herself to more blond meat. Kelly pounding away, forearms inside, crowding and jacking uppercuts into the soft undersides of Ryan's world-class rack. Jeri's face red, flushed; she's grimacing as she's trying in vain to get off the ropes; Kelly's too strong. Brook able to continually shove Jeri back, then punish her, piling abuse on the older blonde's glorious bulging bra to the bell. Brook's glee spills over as she faces up all grins, shouting in Jeri's ruddy, embarrassed face. Knockdown gives Brook the round (wide).

R6: Brook - after a finger-wagging lecture from a furious Ali Landry between rounds, steps out; her face aglow with fury - and she lets it all hang out! Her opening salvo? Crisscross chopping into Ryan's already ravaged rack. Jeri suffers the abuse as she's battered clear across the ring, but hardy blond refuses to wilt and crouching, fights back, bringing it to Brook right up the middle. Blonde batters brunette, breaking Kelly down with heavy lefts and hard rights, brawling her senseless all the way back to the ropes. Brook pinned with her gloves at her chest, elbows compressing her breasts together, being stood straight up with her back on the strands, taking a clubbing of lefts and rights. Jeri props the brunette up with her free hand on Kelly's chest, turning into her punches right handed, keeping it short, simple...and lethal! Rough finishing action late; Brook swooning as Jeri pumps in devastating lefts and rights, both upstairs and down at the bell. Late surge earns Jeri the points (wide) even without a knockdown.

R7: Ali Landry threatening Brook with all manner of punishment just before the bell, sends her war weary beauty hobbling to mid-ring. Ryan equally used up out to meet her. Both with their mouths gaping, lungs burning, eyes hollow, faces forlorn, legs cramping, their hands hanging at their waist. There's no sexy move, no snappy combo, just two girls pawing the jab or leaning out into right hands. Clinching, they lay on one another, then push off, reset – and repeat. They fall in chest on chest; Kelly has the advantage there, overwhelming Jeri's impressive rack with her sheer weight of flesh. They hold and hit; the ref parting them occasionally, but letting them tumble right back into each other again. Midway, Ryan chops a short overhand right to Kelly's ear as they come together and Kelly's knees dip slightly. Kelly's face pale, her eyes blinking – swipes with her left – and takes another right to the head that sends her stumbling left. Jeri reloading, unleashing right hands - another heavy connect to Kelly's jaw. Battered, Brook staggers wobbly away as Jeri gives her two chopping rack hacks! Another short right to the side of the head and BROOK GOES DOWN! Kelly Brook coming apart, bludgeoned to all fours! Gutsy brunette gamely gets to her knees trying to beat the count!

“GET UP YOU PIG!” screams a woman at ringside. It's Debbe Dunning and she's on her feet shaking her fist at Kelly Brook. “YOU ARE NOT GOING TO QUIT ON ME, DAMMIT!”

Kelly majestic in distress - reeling, mouth gaping, eyes almost closed; she slumps on the ropes. IN COMES RYAN! Jeri on her last legs herself - pushing Kelly's shoulders back to DIG INTO THAT BRITISH RACK! Ryan mindlessly pumping away with both hands - Brook slumping - reaching numbly to grab blond hips as Jeri pours in the leather! Ryan back-stepping to create punching room. Left-right - Brooks legendary hooters are flattened by Ryan's gloves. Left-right - Jeri firing her gloves up under the overhanging ledge of Kelly's throbbing jugs. Brook stumbling forward blindly, arms groping for Ryan. DOWN GOES BROOK! Kelly crashing on her face, her battered breasts flattened under her chest as her face slams the canvas! IT'S ALL OVER! Jeri Ryan KO's Kelly Brook's juggs! Ryan with a dominatingly juggilicious, KO7!

* * * *
After: Rejuvenated Ryan reaching back ten years, putting on a show reminiscent of the golden era when she was the Queen of the 'one punch' finish. Jeri breathless on her stool; Sunny McKay icing down just about everything above the waist as Ragozina cuts off Jeri's gloves. Normally, Natalya - a former undefeated world champion - discourages, if not forbids - post fight antics. But she's been around long enough to understand the hard feelings between Jeri and Kelly and she's likely discussed it with Ryan ahead of time. The Russian trainer takes Jeri's gloves and leaves McKay to clean up the mess in the corner – and I don't mean Ryan!

Jeri looks up, watching as Landry and Dunning retrieve Kelly and, each under one arm, drags her between them back to her corner. Heaving a big sigh, Ryan pulls herself to her feet and nudges McKay to one side. “Are you serious?” Sunny asks, looking over at Brook.

“A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do,” Jeri says. “She'd do it, if she could. And I have to make sure Landry gets the message.”

Jeri adjusts her silver bikini top, takes a deep breath, throws back her shoulders and starts to walk across the ring to where Dunning is holding Brook's head for Landry o pass the smelling salts under her nose. Kelly snorts and jerks her head back, her eyes slowly opening. The first thing she sees is a blurry image of Jeri Ryan bearing down on her and Kelly gives a reflexive squeak.

“We have unfinished business,” Jeri says, ignoring Landry and Dunning as she offers her hand like she's asking Kelly to dance.
Brook blinks uncomprehendingly, then shakes her head, wincing in pain at the motion, “No thanks,” she tries to be flip. “I'm spoken for,” she glances at Landry, her eyes pleading.

“Ohhhh,” pouted Jeri. “And here I have my heart set on the first dance. Guess I'll just take you for a walk around the ring instead,” she chuckles. “We can chat as we stroll.” Jeri looks back over her shoulder and tells McKay, “Sunny, get out your paddle. She's being obstinate.” McKay click-clacks down the metal stairs in her stripper platform heels, her hands tugging at the hem of her very short, tight, nurses “uniform”. When she gets to the bottom of the steps, she turns and slowly bends over, her skirt riding up to flash her butt at several women in the front row as she reaches far under the ring for something.

“Go home, Ryan,” Landry said tartly. “You're only going to embarrass yourself if you persist.”

Jeri hesitated, thinking of the pain her body felt. But then she saw the cocky, confident, smirk on Landry's lips and her mind flashed back almost five to the last time she'd seen that expression … October 8, 2010: Ali had just won a unanimous decision over Jeri and, in the process, had battered her body unmercifully. But was afterward, with Jeri's proud composure broken, that Landry showed her real character! That night, even in ignominious defeat, Jeri had finally driven a wedge between Landry and Brook - one she had been certain could never be removed.

In the aftermath of that night, Jeri took control and wreaked her revenge. As a member of Jeri's stable (JKO) Ali's career underwent a complete turnabout. After being 98-42-4 from 2000 to 2011, Ali's career plummeted due to Jeri's clever manipulations. Her record was 0-4 in 2012; 1-2 in 2013; 1-1 in 2014 and in 2015 she's just 0-1.

Over the same four year period, Ali's new 'bestie' fared little better. In fact, Brook's record was even worse, going 1-5; 2-5; 0-1 and, until tonight in 2015, 0-0!

Yet here was Ali, supporting her former enemy Kelly Brook; their schism healed by a shared hatred of Ryan. Jeri knew she was either going to have to deal with Landry here and now, and re-assert her dominance, or turn tail and slink away like some over-the-hill loser! 'Well, that's not me!' she thought

Jeri reached up, put a hand on Ali Landry's chest and roughly shoved her to one side. “Out of my way loser,” Jeri barked, “I earned this playtime with Kell...WOOOF!”

Landry's knee slammed up into Jeri's belly doubling her over. Ali grabbed Jeri under the chin, pulled her head up and WHAM, drove her forearm down onto Jeri's aching, throbbing rack. The breathless blonde went flying backward, arms windmilling, before she went tumbling onto her butt, her feet flying up, then dropping back to the mat.

“You want a piece of this?” Ali asked the brunette standing behind her holding Kelly's head up so she could watch Ali in action.

“Thought you'd never ask,” Debbe Dunning said. “It's been ten years since I punched Jeri's jubblies. My fists are itching for more,” she said as she dropped Kelly's head on her chest and stepped around Ali to get at Ryan who was sitting up rubbing her chest. Debbe bent to grab a fistful of Jeri's hair but Ryan swept her foot up between Debbe's legs THUD. Debbe's eyes widened as her knees buckled and she grabbed her crotch.

“Careful,” Ali giggled. “She bites.”

While Debbe wobbled away bow-legged, Jeri stood up and clenched her taped fists. “You shouldn't have started something you can't finish,” Jeri warned.

“Oh, I can finish it,” Ali said. “I just wanted to wait for Kelly and Debbe to soften you up a bit first. But it looks like Debbe's put a crimp in that. The poor old gal's been out of the game for too long, I fear.”

“Yeah, she forgot the first rule of fight club,” Jeri said, advancing slowly.

“Oh? What rule is that?” Landry asked.

“Never assume someone's an easy mark,” Jeri informed her. “You're about to see why it's still true.”

“You should take your own advice,” Ali chirped, her face breaking into that cocky smirk again. “You about ready Kelly?” she asked the woman sitting behind her.

“Just about,” Kelly Brook said, pushing herself up and standing with one hand holding the top rope for support. “Enough for that washed up blond, that's for sure.”

“Is that it?” Jeri asked incredulously. “A semi-conscious brunette is your back-up plan? You really have slipped, Ali. I expected better from you after all the time you spent in JKO.”

“You forgot the first rule of fight club,” a voice behind Jeri hissed in her ear as two strong arms wrapped around her chest and pinned her arms at her sides. Debbe Dunning tightened her Reverse Bearhug and lifted Jeri's feet off the mat, just as Ali turned her hips and drove her fist into Jeri's soft and unprepared belly.

“OOOOOoooooooo.....” Jeri grunted as Ali's fist sank so deep it forced Dunning to take several steps backward just to stay on her feet. Jeri's head sank forward, her mouth opening and closing as she struggled to get air back into her depleted lungs.

“Nice one!” Debbe said. “Would you like another?”

“My turn,” Kelly said, stepping in to deliver an overhand blow that pancaked Jeri's already badly battered left breast.

“OHMIGAWD...ohmigawd....ohhhhhhmiiiiiigaaaawwwwddddd,” Jeri babbled, her body shivering in ravaged-rack agony.

Kelly kissed her right glove and said, “Sweet. But too much padding. Take it off, Ali.”

“Later,” she said. “It's my turn again.”

They were so busy with Jeri, none of them noticed Sunny McKay had climbed back into Ryan's corner with a big, wooden, sorority paddle she'd picked up at an estate sale years before when she was still a hard-working porn star. She stealthily crept across the ring until she was close enough to raise it and....

“LOOKOUT!” Kelly shouted.

(A writer seated in the front row typing a report of an earlier match on his laptop, thought he heard his name and looked up. “Uh...wha...oh, never mind...” and went back to work, ignoring the women in the ring.)

Sunny brought the paddle down as hard as she could on Debbe Dunning's butt! THA-WHAPPP!

“YEEEEEEEOOOOOWWWW....” Dunning let out a loud scream and dropped Jeri like a hot potato! Ryan landed hard on her bottom, wincing as her breasts bounced and jumped in her silver top.

Sunny quickly reloaded and as Dunning whirled around to defend herself, the blond 'nurse' was already in mid-swing. SMAAACK! The thick wood paddle hit Dunning square on the chest, mashing both of her gorgeous breasts flat and knocking her down on her back. As Debbe lay writhing and holding her breasts, Sunny was already drawing back to swing yet again.

“UUUUUNNNNNHHHHH....” Sunny grunted as Kelly Brook launched herself off her stool and drove herself into Sunny's belly. The wiry actresses body jackknifed over Kelly's shoulder as Brook kept her legs pumping, lifting Sunny and carrying her several feet before Power Slamming her flat on the mat. All the air went out of Sunny as Kelly's full weight landed on her. Sunny didn't know what happened! Just as she opened her eyes, a wall of flesh came down and everything went dark as Kelly slammed her massive mammaries down covering Sunny's eyes, nose and mouth.

Unable to get the air she desperately need to replace that driven from her lungs, it was only seconds before her weak struggles slowed, then stopped. After holding the smother a few more seconds, just to be sure, Kelly sat up on McKay's tummy, pulled Sunny's limp arms down to her sides and pinned them with her knees, immobilizing the interfering blonde to ensure she'd cause no more problems.

Then she turned to watched Ali and Debbe who were flanking Jeri Ryan who'd just gotten to her knees after Debbe Dunning dropped her. Jeri whirled left, then right, trying to keep an eye on both brunette's who were circling, keeping her trapped between them like a couple of hungry sharks. First Debbe would feint, and as Jeri reacted to it, Ali kicked her hamstring. Jeri would quickly turn around, but then Debbe kicked her in the back of her other leg. After four or five kicks, Ryan was already hobbling.

“OK, that's enough. Everybody out of the ring!”

They all stopped and looked to see who was interrupting. Jennifer Lawrence was standing at ringside with two big, hulking, female sheriff's deputies. Her head was bandaged, but her eyes looked clear and her expression was determined.

“Butt out Lawrence,” Landry snarled. “Or you're liable to get another ding on the noggin!”

“Oh, I'm not coming anywhere near you,” J-Law said. “I've got two ladies of law enforcement who will come in there and not only break it up, but haul your butts off to the slammer. What I'm watching looks a lot like assault. Maybe you'd rather explain why I'm wrong to a judge?”

“What are you doing with two deputies anyway?” Dunning asked suspiciously. “How do we know they're even real?”

Jennifer grinned. “Oh they're the real deal alright. The Sheriff's office assigned them to watch me after McCarthy took out a restraining order against me. I can't come within a hundred feet of her. See?” she pointed to the opposite side of the ring where a glum looking McCarthy sat between Gena Lee Nolin and trainer Scruffy McGee. “You can ask JennyMac, if you don't believe me.”

Dunning and Landry exchanged a look, then Kelly Brook got up off of Sunny and came over to join them. “We've had enough fun for one night,” Kelly said, rubbing her chest which was aching every bit as much as Jeri's after seven tough rounds. “Let's pick up our toys and go home. Leave this ######,” she flicked her hand dismissively in Ryan's general direction, “for another time and place. After all Ali, you should be able to get her in a ring and have some fun with her big ol' soft boobies just like I did.”

Landry glared at Kelly, then shrugged. “OK, but you didn't win. I don't intend to lose to that hag...ever. C'mon Debbe, let's go back to the dressing room; I'll give you your check for tonight.”

As the three 'bad girls' departed, Jennifer Lawrence climbed to the ring to help Jeri to her feet, supporting her with an arm around her waist as they went to check on Sunny who was sitting up holding her head.

“You OK McKay?” J-Law asked as she knelt beside the porn star. Sunny mumbled something, took a deep breath, then her eyes rolled back, and she sagged back onto her back.

“What'd she say?” Jeri asked nervously, grimacing as she slowly got to her knees at the other side of Sunny. “Is she alright?” She lifted Sunny's head onto her lap.

“She said, 'I need mouth-to-mouth',” Jennifer told Jeri as she stood up and went to retrieve Sunny's paddle. “Go ahead Jeri, I got this...” J-Law grinned as she picked up the paddle and kept walking to Ryan's corner.

“Oh...uh...ok...i guess.,” Jeri muttered as she bent over Sunny. “Hey, wait a minute,” Jeri yelled after Jennifer. “Who knows where this mouth has been?”

Before Lawrence could answer, Sunny reached up, grabbed Jeri and kissed her hard on the lips. Ryan struggled, but after her hard battle with Brook, she was too exhausted for the fresh porn star. When Sunny broke the kiss, Ryan sat back wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and spitting on the mat. “Tongue? You tried to put THAT tongue in my mouth? Are you freakin' crazy?”

Sunny just sat there staring. “You should see the look on your face,” Lawrence cackled, breaking up.



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