The Man In The Hat sits, as usual, at the center of the dais. To his left are Kat Dennings, Neve Campbell, , Leelee Sobieski, Mariska Hargitay, Leven Rambin, Pink, and Alison Brie. To his right sit Kesha, Brooklyn Decker, Daniela Ruah, Jewel, Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears, and Avril Lavigne. 

Man In The Hat: "All right, as usual, before we get to questions, there are some people I want to thank. Let's start with Foxfire Atlantic. And, yes, before you ask, I DO want to thank them for sendin' Rosamund Pike here..." 

(Laughter) 

Man In The Hat: "That's a talented stable. They've been here before. They'll be here again. Also, to our indie fighters, the backbone of Asylum, and, of course, to our friends at Bazz, who are also very important to the proceedings around here. And, last but far from least, the FCBA Commission for sanctionin' these bouts and makin' Asylum possible. Now, questions. Cable Boy! Go!" 

HBO Reporter: "You have to be pretty pleased going 5-1, but, obviously, you were hoping for 6-0..." 

Man In The Hat: "Obviously. But, Pike's a talented kid. She's shown that before. We knew she'd be a test for Kesha, and that's why we signed the fight. Didn't pass the test tonight, but Big K has passed others and she'll pass more in future..." 

HBO Reporter: "Are you thinking 'rematch'?" 

Man In The Hat: "We did a card here one time that was all rematches. I may revisit that. Or, I may not and just make Kesha/Pike again, Ms. Winslet willing of course. But. Not immediately. Every time we do an immediate rematch it bites us in the behind. We're gonna get some distance. But. It's on our mind, because it was a good fight tonight ans it would be a good fight again. Cable Boy II, start talkin'..." 

Showtime Reporter: "Leven's job security was a big story coming in..." 

Man In The Hat: "Shouldn't have been. As I've said repeatedly, Lev's got a load of talent. She just needs work, opportunities. We're gonna give 'em to her, and I think we're gonna be very pleased with the results we get when we do that. BLONDE! Magazine! What have you got?" 

BLONDE! Magazine Reporter: "Let's talk about Decker and Sobieski..." 

Man In The Hat: "Leelee's a top-shelf welter. She can do things that no one save the very top girls in the division, your Righettis, Regans, and Freemans, can do. She can beat you in a lot of ways, and this is what we like in a fighter. As for Brookie, Brookie is Brookie. I can sell out an arena with her on the card no matter who the opponent is. I get as many fight requests for her as anyone in the stable. She's got all the tools. We're going to keep giving her work, keep makin' the effort on the model front, and see where it takes us. Tess, dear, go ahead... " 

Tess: "Dennings/Thiessen was a pretty good fight..." 

Man In The Hat(smiling): "No surprise. As I said, Thiessen is a physical fighter who's developed a heck of an inside game. She gave Brit all she wanted. She's dangerous. We knew she'd push Kat, and she did, but Kat found a way to get the job done, and that's what a good fighter does..." 

Blonde In The Back Of The Room: "Are you implying that Dennings is a good fighter, because we both know she's a fat tub who's about as mobile as a rhino..." 

Kat(standing up): "Who the *+@# let this piece of trash in here? Get the *+@# out of here, Wilkinson, or I'm going to come down and throw you out!" 

Kendra: "I've got a better idea. You and me on the next pay-per-view. How about that, Pillsbury Dough Girl?" 

Neve(getting to her feet): "How about I come down there and pitch you over the line into Jersey?" 

Man In The Hat: "Now, let's calm down a second here...Kendra, is that an OFFICIAL challenge from Odds and Ends?" 

Kendra: "Damn right it is! I want Dennings on pay-per-view!" 

Man In The Hat: "Ok, you're on. Have Odd Man send me the contract and we'll sign in. Now, run along because I'm about to wrap this thing, and, if you're still here when it ends, I won't be responsible for what Ms. Campbell does..." 

Kendra gets to her feet, flips off Kat and Neve, and bounces out the door. 

Man In The Hat: "Have a seat, ladies. Smackeroo. It's dinner time. Take us there..." 

Reporter: "There's been talk that Pink is your best bantam. She looked pretty good tonight..." 

Man In The Hat(smiling): "Pinkness has as much ability as any bantam in the world. Her physicals are plus-plus and she's a very smart fighter. Got a full tool box. So, yeah, she looked good tonight. She always looks good. Because she IS good. All right. It's dinner time. Tess! Smackey! Limo!"