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31 July 2015 Lea Seydoux vs Megan Fox

Page history last edited by Archer844 8 years, 7 months ago

Lea Seydoux 03.jpg Megan Fox 11.jpg

Posted by Lookout! Boxing on July 31, 2015, 9:57 am.

Megan Fox vs Lea Seydoux
(result-Lookout/writing-simgrrl)

Before: This bouts finds 29 y/o brunette American movie sex symbol Megan Fox getting jiggy with 30 y/o blond French movie sex symbol Lea Seydoux. While there might be better reasons to watch a women's boxing match...and I'm at a loss to think of one at the moment...so indulge me, please!

Both have spent around three years with their current FCBA stable (Fox @ Mirage; Seydoux @ Latin Union). Fox's FCBA record in that time is a lackluster 3-3-0; Seydoux's 2-3. Outside the FCBA, however, it's another matter entirely, for Lea's been a busy little BBU beaver! In the last three years, Seydoux's BBU record is 9-6, so she's been busier than Fox inside the ring. (On the silver screen, Fox has been a box office bombshell, so we'll cut her some slack here.)

Let's be honest, we don't pretend to know much about the women of the BBU, but there were a few names on Seydoux's resume familiar from the FCBA and they weren't bad fighters. Fox has lost her last two fights (fly champion Hough and perennial contender Panettiere, so she's been in with some tough broads!) All in all, based on their records, there's not much to choose between them. But one critical edge seems to tilt Lea's way: Tractorpull picked Fox! The burden of great expectations may weigh too heavily on Megan's slender shoulders for her to carry.

One “self-styled boxing expert” points out Seydoux's had problems in the past with “smaller” fighters, but Fox is only 2” shorter, not much. Still, he felt Fox's best chance would be to get inside and hammer the French hussie's chassis. “She hasn't fought often, so I can't believe she's in such great shape. If Foxie can get to Lea's body early and often...and that'll be a problem...she can do damage.”

Seydoux, an international film star of the first (OK, maybe second) order apparently too busy pretending not to understand English to meet with the press and make some bold, outrageous, statement that will invariably end up on Fox's locker. So, in hopes of stirring up some trouble...or at least controversy...we sent our assistant (SuperGoon) to Megan Fox's hotel for a brief sit-down with the sable-tressed diva hoping to get some usable quotes for our fight report.

SG: Megan, what're your plans for the Seydoux fight?

MF: Ski-who?

SG: SEE-dough....you know, like your agent tells the producer during contract negotiations for one of your blockbuster films. Lee-AH See-DOUGH, I believe.

MF: Seriously? You bring up my agent to ask me about some Frog bimbo? What's the matter with you?

SG: I only meant....wait! You really don't know who you're supposed to fight?

MF: Not a clue. My manager asked for a fight, but he told me yesterday he still hasn't heard back from anyone – well, anyone except Tractorpull who picked me to win by a KO, or TKO, or something...I believe. Not that I ever read that horrid rag. Lately, it's all been about JMD. Ugh! Nasty stuff!

SG: Well, I just got a text says I'm supposed to get a quote from you about this Lea Seydoux person. Come on, Megs, give me something....anything.

MF: Alright, since you seem to be stuck... just like me... how 'bout this? (quote) I can't wait to see Miss Seydoux in the flesh. I've been very impressed with her on the screen and she seems to be a very attractive, and talented, actress. (end quote) How's that?

SG: It's a better quote than 'Ski-who?'. Thanks a lot, Ms. Fox.

MF: Great. So, you're gonna be at ringside to take my picture when I knock her tits off her chest?

SG: …?...

MF: OH please...tell me you know if there's some JMD fights on the card? God, I just love those; never miss one.

Lea wearing a black push-up bra and panties, black gloves; her long blonde hair with bangs, and black hi-top shoes; Megan in bright green bikini and white gloves and shoes, her dark hair loose and damp.
* * *
During R1: Lea's longer arms, legs, give her a decided edge when they're trading right hands at distances, but Fox's quick mitts prove the difference maker on the odd occasions she can get within reach of the Frenchie's body. Early, Lea controlling the fight behind a straight left jab, but as the round winds down, Fox is able to side-slip the jab and when she gets inside Lea's jab, Megan lands combinations that leave Lea wincing in pain. No big damage for either, but Seydoux's aggression and early success enough to win her this round, close.

R2: Megan able to get inside Lea's reach more often; throw combinations and hang around for a second helping of ribs. Seydoux uptempoing late, less standing and trading, more hit and run. Fox being turned by Lea's long-limbed, limber style, unable to catch her as easily. When Seydoux wants to, she's stylistically superior to Fox, but she is either unable to maintain her high-energy style, or she'd prefer to stand and hammer mindlessly away at the gorgeous American's body. Whatever the reason, Megan Fox had the better of the action this round, so we're all even after two stanzas.

R3: Seydoux tightens up her defense this round, shortening her jab just enough to allow her to keep it in Fox's face longer, frustrating her attempts to get inside and attack her body. Long, loping, strides keep Seydoux gliding around outside Megan's shorter reach; letting Lea pick her spots to peck away at the crouching brunette. Fox willing to accept modest damage for the opportunity to get her paws on the French cuties body. Unfortunately, Fox getting the worse of their exchanges and late in the round she abandons her attempts for the moment, in favor of putting up a more sturdy defensive front. Thus it's no surprise Lea wins the round (close).

R4: Lea, wrong-footed right from the get-go, never able to settle into a rhythm. Megan, showing a surprisingly veteran patience, taking her time but she isn't above an underhanded tactic (or two or three). Fox holds and hits; steps on Lea's toes; does some of the ol' clutch 'n' grab. Midway, Seydoux opens up somewhat, hoping an offensive flurry or two will get her back on track. The idea may have been sound, but her execution leaves something to be desired! Fox biding her time under some duress, chops a counter right to Seydoux's left breast. When Lea drops her left hand, Megan doubles up on the right and scores to the French vixen's chin! Lea spilled to her backside, scrambles quickly back to her feet embarrassed. Shaken, she goes into a shell, ceding the initiative to Fox. Twice – Megan Fox goes rack, perhaps because she's heard it bothers the French actress(?). Fox ready, willing, and (so far) able, to do whatever she can to throw Seydoux off her game and by the end of the round, Megan's well and truly “in her head” - and she knows it! Fox smirking back to her corner while Seydoux is smoldering!

R5: Lea, having made the necessary adjustments to keep Megan off her body for the most part, and when Megan does snuggle up close to try and get personal, the Frenchie's not above an occasional elbow to send the message she doesn't appreciate the attention Meg's giving her “rack.” Fox increasingly taking risks – which eventually catch up to her when she walks into a short, chopping, right. DOWN GOES FOX! Her knees buckle but she rights herself then is dropped onto her glamorous glutes by a left hook that catches her flush! Fox sitting in shock while the referee wrestles a glaring Seydoux off to a neutral corner. Fox up at 'seven' leaning on the ropes while the ref checks her gloves and asks her today's date. She replies “Saturday” and he figures it's good enough. After that, Seydoux has her way, punishing the brunette along the ropes with a heavy-handed body attack.

R6: Seydoux seems to have finally found the key to victory. Leggy Lea scores with single jabs, but strings combinations together whenever she gets Megan Fox cornered. The French beauty's in great shape and has plenty of leg left for dancing and circling. She hasn't slowed and is still scoring at long range. Fox, knowing she's behind, growing more desperate, becoming more aggressive, pressing to force the close-in fighting she prefers against the taller blond. But Lea limits her effectiveness by frequently clinching, muffling her arms and bogging the brunette down. Then everything changes when Seydoux, pivoting smoothly clockwise behind the jab – scores to Megan's face two, three, four times in succession! Lea bobbing, feinting, then steps out to circle back counter-clockwise and...DOWN GOES FOX!! FOX IS DOWN! A single short, sharp, inside right hand rings up Megan Fox and sends her toppling over backward with her hands still raised in front of her! She hits the canvas hard, her head bouncing twice! Seydoux gives her the once over, then raises her arms and struts away confident in her victory. The referee counts to three and then waves off the rest and calls for the medics. Lea Seydoux wins a KO6 victory over Megan Fox!
* * * *
After: Lea doffs her gloves and heads across the ring to check on Megan who's slumped on her stool with several people working on her. There've been no hard feelings evident and no one is surprised when Seydoux leans in and puts an arm around Megan's shoulder as they hold a brief, whispered, conversation. When Lea stands up, the two women shake hands and go their separate ways....Lea smiling; Megan looking downcast and disappointed by her performance – though it was a well fought bout and a close match all the way.

“She's a handful,” Seydoux says, no longer having any trouble with her French-accented English now that the fight is over. “I'm glad she wasn't any taller or heavier, because I had my hands full to defeat her. I'm glad to be back in action after my 'vacation' making films. Now that I have returned, I will be in more action soon. Perhaps even a JMD with that tart Frege, non?”

Fox clearly unhappy with the outcome, blaming infrequent action and lack of work in the gym for her possibly running out of “gas” after several hard-fought rounds.

“I'm not in the shape I'd like to be in, that's for sure. Making those blockbuster mega-hit movies is time consuming work and you just can't take the time you need to put in training when you're working long hours every day for months on end.

“I'm not denigrating Lea's performance in the least. I know she's had similar problems with her own career, so there's no excuse for me. She was the better fighter tonight and she earned her win.”

Fox not revealing future plans or upcoming opponents, only saying her people will be making an announcement “at the appropriate time.”